Are people with strong social skills smart?
Are people with strong social skills smart? Many people have relatively good social skills. Most people agree with Zhuge Liang's words and do the same themselves. As everyone knows, the approach of "close to virtuous ministers and stay away from villains", let's see if people with strong social skills are smart. Are people with strong social skills smart? 1
Not necessarily. People with strong social skills and eloquent people show that their emotional intelligence is relatively high, and what they say can arouse everyone's excitement. But if you say whether he has a high IQ, whether he is smart or not, and whether he is scheming, of course it all comes down to the same thread. It is precisely because he is smart and scheming that he can show strong social skills.
1. Look at his friends
Many people say that a person’s social ability depends on how many friends he has. I don’t agree with that. Quantity does not mean quality. No matter how refined the “friends” are, Not much.
We should more often look at the behavior of his friends and the way they get along with them. Is this person cold-blooded and carefree when making friends? The more the better, or does he choose people who have similarities with himself? Make friends. Social skills are not about building relationships with many people, but about building quality relationships selectively.
2. Speaking
In a sense, social ability is an ability that can make people happy. Everyone likes to make friends with people who can make them happy. Therefore, you can perceive a person's social ability by seeing whether his speech and conversation make people happy.
If a person can choke someone with just a word, then this person's social skills are definitely average.
3. Ways of doing things
Similar to talking, people with social skills do things mostly altruistically, making it more convenient for others. . So if you observe how he handles things and behaves as a person, if he is very self-centered and focused on himself, he may not be a person with strong social skills.
IV. Problem-solving ability
There is a saying that things get easier when there are more people. Many times we have to work with many people to solve problems. When we work alone, we cannot solve the problem. Sometimes, the problem may be solved well with the help of other people.
Sometimes many people mistakenly think that they have many "friends". However, when they need help from friends, they realize that the word "friend" is sometimes too vague.
So if a person’s friends are willing to stand up and help him solve problems, it is enough to prove his social skills. Are people with strong social skills smart? 2
Researchers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Harvard University and the University of Pennsylvania conducted parent-child activities and language development on more than 40 children aged 4 to 6 in Boston. Comparative surveys such as , academic performance and brain scans have found that the key to affecting children's brain development is not vocabulary, but the way parents and children communicate. The more frequently children talk to their parents, the more active the language areas of their brains are. Research leader Dr. Rachel Romeo said that regular chatting between adults and young children increases the strength of connections between white matter fibers in two key language areas of the brain.
What will happen if there is no communication? A psychologist at the University of Massachusetts once did a famous "mirror experiment": the mother played with the baby first, and then the mother suddenly became expressionless, and the baby was confused at first and tried to prompting a response from the mother. But the mother didn't respond and the baby started crying helplessly. The experiment, which lasted just tens of seconds, confirmed the importance of the mother's positive response to the healthy growth of the child.
In fact, language ability is not only a method of communication, but also a reflection of individual intelligence level, which is closely related to cognition, social interaction, and emotion. As soon as a baby is born, he has the potential of 100 billion neurons, which can be converted into many different potentials.
Before a child is 3 years old, 700 to 1,000 additional neural connections are produced every second, which affects all of our brain functions, including memory, emotion, hands-on ability, and language ability. At no other stage of life does brain growth occur so vigorously. Therefore, parents may wish to try the following three methods during this golden period to start "chat mode" with their children.
***Love attention. Respond promptly to your child's behavior. For example, where the baby's fingers go is exactly where the baby is paying attention. The mother can respond to the baby by describing features, naming, explaining, etc. For older babies, when the mother wants to read to him and the child is building blocks with great interest, do not interrupt at this time. The best way is to join the child's game and communicate with the child using rich language. A child who can accept his parents' "affectionate attention" for a long time will have a longer-lasting attention.
Full communication. Parents should help their children expand their speech. When a child says one word, it is best for parents to respond with two or three words. When the child can speak two or three words, parents can respond with short sentences.
Take turns talking. In daily life, asking open-ended questions can help achieve "turn-taking conversation". Questions such as "why" and "how" can inspire children to think, and gradually let them learn to think independently and solve problems. Are people with strong social skills smart? 3
We are actually "inseparable" from villains
The villains in real life may be your relatives, friends, or colleagues , or boss, customer, etc.
No one in modern society can completely stay away from people like this. Once they all stay away, their circle will only become smaller and smaller, and their connections will become fewer and fewer.
Therefore, a truly smart person does not just stay away from villains, but knows how to get along with villains, and even turn the villain's disadvantages into benefits, so that he can get greater benefits from them.
First of all, we need to understand, what is a villain? They are nothing more than selfish, competitive, arrogant and other characters.
If you have selfish relatives, competitive colleagues, and arrogant clients, then as long as you take appropriate measures, you can live in harmony with these people without staying away from them. .
Get along with selfish people
Sima Qian said in "Historical Records": "The bustling world is all for benefit; the bustling world is all for benefit." From ancient times, So far, most people are pursuing profits.
It’s just that villains often harm others for their own selfish interests-but this is exactly what we can take advantage of. Villains usually attach great importance to interests, and they will go through fire and water for their interests.
Therefore, when getting along with selfish people, you don’t need to pay too much attention to the friendship between each other, as long as you give them enough benefits and let them work heartlessly for the benefits.
Get along with competitive people
Many people have encountered colleagues who have a strong desire for self-expression and like to be in the spotlight. Once they compete with others for the same position, they will Will use any means to attack the opponent.
For such a person, the best way is not to give in and accommodate blindly, but to give him a heads-up while he is in the spotlight and let him know that "there is a way out there."
There is a "threshold effect" in modern psychology, which means that if you meet some people's small requirements, they will let you meet more of their requirements. Competitive people are usually bullies and pushy people. When dealing with such people, you must be tough and make the other party respect you and fear you.
Get along with arrogant people
There is an old saying in our country: "When the sky is crazy, it will rain, and when people are crazy, disaster will happen." But we cannot wait for disaster to befall those who are arrogant. People - before that, you still have to get along with them.
For example, some superiors or bosses in the workplace are arrogant and arrogant because they often feel that they have a high status, wealth, and ability, so they look down on the people around them.
There are two ways to get along with such a person: one is to have a casual conversation with the other person through eating, drinking, etc., to pull the other person down from the "high" position and get close to you; Second, use your professional abilities to "shock" the other party - no matter which method you use, you can prevent the other party from becoming arrogant in front of you.
Conclusion
Cao Xueqin said in "A Dream of Red Mansions": "Knowledge of worldly affairs is knowledge, and knowledge of human relations is writing."
Why is human relations a university question? Because in the society we live in, everyone has their own role and their own goals and objectives.
If you just use Zhuge Liang's sentence in "The Master's Guide" as a way of dealing with things, it is not enough to handle interpersonal relationships well.
Only by adopting different methods depending on the person, can we be comfortable in modern interpersonal relationships.