A. What’s new about striking up a conversation?

More than ten years ago, if you asked what it meant to strike up a conversation, I believe few people could explain it clearly. However, in recent years, under the influence of some foreign cultures, domestic pick-up culture has gradually become popular.

In fact, the meaning of chatting up is very simple, which is to take the initiative to chat with strangers. The content of the chat is not limited, but it must be a purposeful chat.

Everyone’s purpose is different. Some people simply want to chat with others to kill time, some people ask for WeChat or phone numbers to make friends with others, and some people just ask for directions. That's it...

Although the acceptance of pick-up in China cannot be compared with that in foreign countries, compared to China a few decades ago, Chinese people's thinking is also constantly evolving and they are becoming more and more accepting of new things. thing.

If you just look at the content of the conversation, there is nothing new about it. More people will be curious about this method of communication, because compared to traditional communication, chatting up always seems so different.

It is indeed a very magical thing for two people who don't know each other to get in touch because of one party's initiative. This kind of thing can even bring unlimited imagination to everyone.

If you like to make friends but cannot extend your network because your circle is too small, striking up a conversation will indeed be more direct and effective.

If you are more introverted and have no friends around you, by striking up a conversation, you can not only exercise your courage, but also make new friends, which seems to be a good thing that kills two birds with one stone.

These are just the good aspects of striking up a conversation, but we must also realize that not every conversation can successfully establish a connection with others. If you meet someone who is averse to chatting up, they will directly reject your invitation to talk.

If your mentality is not strong enough, as long as you have been rejected a few times, you may never dare to strike up a conversation again.

You go to chat with others with good intentions, but are rejected by others without any reason. This kind of psychological gap is really very unpleasant.

But if you think about it carefully, it is impossible to achieve success without failure in anything, and the same is true for striking up a conversation.

It depends on how each person treats things like striking up a conversation. If you feel that striking up a conversation is beneficial to you, you should not give up easily because of a temporary failure.

For other people, they reject being approached and never strike up a conversation themselves. If this is the case for you, it can only be said that the behavior of striking up a conversation is not suitable for you.

Therefore, as for the matter of striking up a conversation, it doesn’t matter whether you accept or reject it. It is just a new way of socializing.

People who think it is helpful to them will naturally understand it, while people who think it is not helpful to them will naturally have nothing to do with chatting up.

B. Treat the good and bad aspects of pick-up rationally

When any new thing appears, many people will view it with suspicion at first, which is normal. However, it does take a certain amount of time to get everyone to gradually accept chatting up.

There was a time when I saw videos of foreigners chatting up people online, and I felt very curious. They can make friends or chat in this way, or achieve certain goals of their own.

And I found that they seemed to have integrated chatting into their lives and enjoyed the process of chatting up. They gained friends, gained happiness, and gained what they wanted.

I started to wonder, they can do this, why can’t I? So I set a goal for myself to strike up conversations with 100 strangers in three days. As for the opening remarks of the conversation, I also followed the sayings in the video.

Among these opening remarks, some are to strike up a conversation with the purpose of asking for directions, some are to strike up a conversation with the purpose of meeting new friends, and some just want to spend a short time with strangers.

You can start your opening statement however you want, but ultimately I want to see how everyone’s reaction is different, and I also want to see if I can achieve the small goal I set for myself. .

I was very nervous, but at the same time I was determined to take this adventure. I felt it was a first for me because I had never done anything like this before.

The three days are over. The general process is as follows. The men and women I chatted up are almost 50-50, and some of these men or women are in the form of a single person, and some are just like theirs. Friends together.

Among the 100 people who struck up a conversation, I made statistics. There were 40 people among them. I asked them for directions, and 32 of them were willing to help me. The success rate was very high.

There were 20 people. I just wanted to chat with them, but only 7 of them were successful. The average time they spent chatting with me was about three minutes.

There were also 40 people whose ultimate goal was to make friends through WeChat or phone numbers, and 16 people succeeded in the end.

Finally, I discovered an interesting phenomenon. If it is for the purpose of asking for directions, I found that everyone is more enthusiastic, they are willing to help you, and will tell you how to get to where you want to go.

But if I were to chat with them purely for the purpose of making friends, most people would think I was strange. Maybe a sentence was flashing in their minds: "I don't know you. Why do I want to talk to you?” But there are a few people who are still willing to chat with me.

As for the third way to strike up a conversation, if I see someone of the opposite sex that I like, I will not only chat with them, but also try to ask them for their WeChat ID or phone number before leaving, and they are willing to give it to me. This was the result I wanted to see, and I did it!

Although the success rate of the latter two is not as high as asking for directions, I am still very happy, especially when some of the opposite sexes I like give me their WeChat IDs. I feel that making friends is not as easy as I imagined. It's so difficult.

I learned a lot from this special experience, but it brought me more psychological gains. I began to try to integrate chatting into my daily life to help myself grow faster.

In addition, sometimes when surfing the Internet, I often see many people discussing the issue of pick-up. Everyone has different opinions on whether pick-up is good or bad. It can be said that there are mixed opinions.

We cannot accept all chats, because we do not rule out the possibility that some people with ulterior motives may use chats to do illegal and criminal things. We cannot completely deny chatting up, because there are indeed some people who just want to make new friends through chatting up.

In fact, this is the most objective result and the most correct result. Everything has its two sides. Regarding things like striking up conversations, we should think more rationally about the following three points.

If you have the experience of chatting up others, no matter what form or purpose. On the other hand, if someone approaches you, you should not reject it directly. You should give the other person a chance to express their thoughts.

When it comes to hooking up, you may not be able to prevent it from happening, but you can choose to accept or reject it. However, before making your choice, it is best to develop your own ability to judge and see whether the other party's purpose of striking up a conversation is good or bad, and whether it is within the range that you can accept.

If it is really because you are busy, it is inconvenient to stop and accept the other person's approach, and you are already ready to reject others. What I want to say is that if the other party has no ill intentions, you can refuse politely.

end

Readers and friends are welcome to leave comments below. If you have any unclear social issues, you can discuss them together.

I am Master Buhu. During my 8 years of social growth, I have been engaged in various sales, street performers, hosts, speakers, trainers... a series of tasks that are quite challenging in the eyes of ordinary people. Sex work is my favorite.

In the experience of dealing with different people, I have gained the most valuable wealth of experience in life. I am also very happy to help those friends who need help. I hope you can help yourself in various social situations. No more confusion.