Just now, I found out that I was unfriended by a buddy I’ve known since college, without any warning.

I was thinking about where I had offended him, and he called me and apologized as soon as he got there, saying that he had recently made a girlfriend who was still in college, and I saw him giving it to a female friend a few days ago. I liked the beautiful photos I posted on Moments, got into a big fight with him, and deleted more than 100 friends of the opposite sex from his WeChat contacts.

I asked why I was deleted because I am not a woman. He said, I’m sorry, but you are so good at chasing girls. She insisted that I would learn bad things if I always played with you... …

I was confused, and my friend quickly added, "It's okay. I'll set up a fingerprint lock on my phone later. She won't be allowed to touch it in the future. I'll lock it in the evening." You add it back.

I was speechless after hanging up the phone.

She believes that the best way to grab a man's attention is to make everyone around him disappear.

But I have to say that in the end, the result of their doing this is that in all likelihood, they themselves are forced to disappear.

I have never really understood how girls who don’t understand men, or even understand human nature at all, can do such stupid things as “empty their boyfriend’s social circle”.

Is a girlfriend more important than a friend?

I think so, but not entirely. Because things have to be said on a first-come, first-served basis, right?

For the vast majority of men, the friends they can keep by their side as brothers, whether men or women, usually have known each other for many years and have experienced many things together.

In the years when you didn’t show up, it was these friends who accompanied your boyfriend to and from school, played games and followed anime with him, drank wine and cooked hot pot with him.

These things are not romantic or profound, but they are a real sense of tacit understanding and familiarity.

Just like your friends who accompanied you to drink tea, go shopping, and talk on the phone during the years when you were single, if the group of people in your life who can accompany you to do these things are suddenly eliminated, even if you are allowed to do this every day, Would you like to spend time with your lover under the beautiful moonlight?

As a girlfriend, you may be supreme on an emotional level, but it is likely that the relationship between your man and your friend was established earlier and deeper.

You are someone who has just entered his world, more like an "outsider".

The fatal part is here, you force him to delete some male or female friends’ WeChat messages, and the man does it in order to coax you. You will get a sense of accomplishment like "victory". But in fact, behind the scenes, in more obscure places, men also have opinions on you. This laid the foundation for future quarrels and breakups.

Actually, I understand that some girls will do this just to prevent men from cheating. Be prepared for a rainy day and do the preventive work first.

But I think from any point of view, this is the worst way.

Because there will always be new members of the opposite sex around him. You can never delete it all.

What really needs to be prevented is not the people around him, but himself.

What is even more powerful is to turn the enemy into one of your own.

You see, why do we always say that couples with more overlapping social circles are less likely to break up.

Because no one has the obligation to recognize you and respect you before you become a member of his circle of friends. Because you have nothing to do with them. But when you become a member of his circle of friends, you have a relationship with them. If you can make them recognize you as a person, they won't have any evil intentions.

And this matter is simply not too easy.

When I was in college, I once went to my uncle's company to intern for a few months. His wife is also my mother’s classmate, and she is also one of the women with the highest emotional intelligence I have ever seen at that age.

Every time she goes on a trip, she brings some food or cheap gifts to her husband’s colleagues in the department. Every time she meets her husband's colleagues, whether they are male or female, they would chat and make friends.

When there is a company party, she will also send text messages to every department colleague she has joined, saying "I know you are having a party today, drink less and have fun" and the like.

In this way, my aunt's popularity is simply higher than that of her husband in the company. I personally heard someone say, "Because his wife is so nice that I can't bear to destroy them."

At this time, those girls who desperately want to clear out their boyfriend's social circle are at a huge disadvantage - if you are hostile to your boyfriend's friends, will they have a crush on you?

If you treat people as enemies, others will treat you as enemies. If you treat people as friends, others will treat you as friends. The distance between you and others is equal to the distance between others and you.

In this way, people around this man will be able to realize that the relationship between you and your boyfriend is very stable, and it is basically impossible for her to get involved, and her and your boyfriend's best friends will also acquiesce in the relationship between you and your boyfriend. You have a good relationship, but if she wants to do anything, she will be stigmatized as a "third party" in the entire social circle.

This will suddenly increase her cost of poaching, and will also make her weigh the gains and losses more carefully and not dare to act rashly.

Is this chicken soup?

No, on the contrary, this is extremely realistic.

Because there are always some people who are bad-natured and hypocritical. If you are nice to him, you may not be able to influence him. However, such people are always in the minority. There are more people who will recognize you, respect you, and help you.

If you mistake those who would originally support you as your enemies, then no one will really help you.

A good friend will support you and your lover after you fall in love;

A good lover will not restrict you after you fall in love. Be with friends;

A smart lover will turn your friends into his friends after falling in love with you.