What is a successful marriage?
What is a successful marriage? In addition to happiness, a successful marriage also includes the realization of self-worth. Not all successful people have a happy marriage, but those with successful marriages will definitely have a good career. So, what does a successful marriage look like? What does a successful marriage look like? 1
1. Economic foundation
There is no doubt that husband and wife are financially equal entities. Marriage without discussing property is like a boss who only talks about feelings without discussing salary, which is a hooliganism.
There is a very cruel phenomenon: in the marriage and love market, people have clearly marked prices. To give a very strange example, a dating website divides each member into several categories based on their academic qualifications, net worth, dating history, and spouse selection requirements, and then emotionally matches people of the same level. The increase in age and experience makes the matching more difficult. , the cost of finding a partner increases. If a young girl who is inexperienced in the world wants to find a partner, the agency charges more than 10,000 yuan, while an older woman, a divorced woman with children, may have to charge more than 30,000 yuan. Marriage has always been so realistic. Whether in life or work, money is the most direct reflection of a person's value.
Finance is the most basic guarantee for marriage, but it is not the only indicator of happiness. Many couples have the same ambition for wealth, but they seem to be incompatible with each other. Some people only regard marriage as a springboard for their careers and a shortcut to class mobility. Marriage without love is just a business. Running a marriage is more difficult than running a career. You can't get what you want by working hard alone. If two people cannot be emotionally connected, they will eventually break up.
2. Stability
Ordinary people have to go through the stages of buying a house, getting married, and having children. Marriage tightly binds these three things together. A good marriage will definitely give people positive stimulation and strong motivation, and bring about a win-win situation in career and emotions. The most important indicator of whether you are "marriageable" and whether you can adapt to a long-term and stable relationship is your partner's personality traits. People with higher "emotional ability" and "agreeableness" are better able to tolerate and considerate of each other, and are better able to build relationships. Harmonious marital relationship. The degree of emotional stability also largely determines the degree of emotional harmony.
Stability also includes "being cautious in words and deeds". Love often makes people fearful and cautious. When two people get along, one party is easily influenced by the other, and the mood "changes ownership". Unlike when one person is alone, the mood is only determined by the environment and state of mind, and there is no one to blame or talk to. Don't say hurtful words easily, don't lose your temper casually. Treat restraint as a virtue, only when your emotions retreat can your relationship move forward.
When talking about his family life, director Ang Lee said that as long as his wife smiles at him, he can relax a little. A person's glamorous side is shown in front of others, and only the closest people have seen your embarrassing side. Even great directors need to work hard in life to win the respect of their families, let alone ordinary people.
3. Romance
Recently, I often see Julian Cheung and Anita Yuen spreading dog food on TV. The two have been together for more than 20 years and are still so sweet that others envy them. Marriage, beauty, wealth, anything that satisfies human vanity is anti-human, which means you need to work hard and manage it carefully in these areas.
Romance is the thing that can best heat up emotions and give each other a sense of happiness. Romance makes love soft and dense, making people addicted to the feeling of love. Everyone's experience of romance is different. It may be gentleness meeting rationality, or straightforwardness meeting tolerance. There are as many kinds of romance as there are as many kinds of love in the world. There are no rules. For me, romance stems from intense curiosity.
Curiosity about things will feed back love - the daily news can become a topic of communication between you, the new things discovered by one person can lead another person to try adventures together, and two people can enjoy the same adventure. Challenge things that each of you is afraid of, or learn areas that the other party is familiar with but unfamiliar to you... In short, no matter what you do, as long as both parties are willing to devote themselves to participating, this will be a unique experience. Even if you quarrel in the future, as long as With these memories in your mind, you can remember those unforgettable moments, which happen to be the most touching moments of the other person. When you think of all this, how can you be willing to let go? You would rather give in and accommodate appropriately than miss the person who has been with you for so long.
4. Communication
When breaking up, boys usually change the breakup into a sentence such as "Let's separate for a while." Women will whisper to themselves: How long is a period of time? Is he going to break up? Why don't you just say it when you break up? You must not want to take responsibility, you scumbag! The man's logic is: This is a hint that I want to break up with you! Do you know what it means or are you just pretending to be confused? Incomprehensible!
I have heard many love stories that ended in vain. A friend once told me about her breakup experience. The boy is a person of few words, and she is a chatterbox. After the two have been together for a long time, the friend got tired of this kind of "stand-up comedy" communication, so they decided to treat it coldly. The two agreed to contact each other after a month. During that time, she held a bottle of Jiangxiaobai every night, drinking while waiting for a call. In the end, this story corresponds to the sentence on the wine bottle: how long have we been dating, I am waiting for you to take the initiative, and you are waiting for me to be free. Two months later, the man finally figured it out and decided to change. Unfortunately, his friend had completely given up on the relationship.
Fear and neglect will cause two people to give up communicating, and their concerns will turn into unspeakable secrets. Over time, the connection between each other became weaker and weaker. A large part of the reason for cheating is that the unsatisfied party wants to find a sense of existence outside the marriage. Giving up on marriage may be a way to find true love, but it may also be a means to escape problems. If the old problems are not solved, another person will be nothing more than a tragedy repeating itself.
The older you get, the more you realize how much courage it takes to fall in love with someone, let alone allow a stranger to enter your life. You can fall in love with many people in love, but marriage requires you to love one person again and again. Love makes people bold, but also makes people fearful. It’s just that life often wears away our edges and our enthusiasm at the same time.
Marriage is like starting a business. It cannot operate without funds and cannot reach the end without lasting passion. Marriage makes people grow because it is simple enough and has a clear goal - to spend a lifetime with one person; it is also complex enough and requires wisdom and action to practice your understanding of love.
The most ideal marriage is to be able to wait calmly after loving each other passionately, to have the courage to bear the joys and sorrows of another person, and to use the power of love to strengthen oneself. Face your lover with a generous and humble heart, and never give up on becoming the best version of yourself. What does a successful marriage look like 2
How to maintain a good marriage
1. Stay alert to things that damage the relationship between husband and wife and avoid hurtful misunderstandings or unnecessary quarrels.
2. Make more friends who are helpful to family life, and exchange more opinions on family life.
3. Husband and wife also need to review their marital life from time to time and seek improvement.
4. Conflicts, quarrels, and cold wars are inevitable because everyone has emotional impulses. The important thing is to turn each conflict into a growth experience, learn to open one's mind, and face reality. Only love and consideration for each other can resolve everything.
Four dangerous periods for marriage
1. The first dangerous period:
When the child is born, the pressure on the couple suddenly increases Increase the size, and the original playfulness and entertainment are greatly reduced. The "triangular" relationship created by the arrival of a child has changed the original "two-person world". The couple feels nervous, confused, and at a loss about marriage at the same time.
2. The second dangerous period:
During this period of four to five years after marriage, couples tend to feel that life is dull and boring. The husband has been working for many years, but has no bright future and is even more lazy about housework. The wife has to work and take care of the children, and is extremely busy.
3. The third dangerous period:
A survey by sociologists about seven years after marriage found that couples are less satisfied with their marriage between six and ten years after marriage. level dropped to its lowest point.
4. The fourth dangerous period:
About twenty years after marriage, the physical conditions of both men and women gradually change. When the wife enters menopause, she is often irritable and worried that she will lose all her charm, while the husband is worried about aging - he no longer has enough energy, his brain is no longer sharp, he cannot beat his son in basketball, and there is no hope of advancement.
What does a successful marriage look like 3
How to save a marriage
1. Correct your mentality
First make changes in your mentality. Don’t be impatient and control yourself. The second thing is to improve the external image, especially the temperament. For example, buy some good-looking clothes and have a hair style. Men all like beautiful and temperamental women. Only by maintaining beauty can he feel a sense of crisis.
2. Analyze the problem
During this period of time, do not keep calling or sending text messages. Whether it is your blaming or begging, it may be his. If you only respond with an apology or even a broken heart, what you need to do is to think and analyze carefully, and analyze why your husband cheated. Is it because he is under great pressure at work, is it because you are not interesting enough, or is it because of family trivial matters that alienate you? No matter the situation, you should remain calm and collected.
3. Secondary attraction
What does it mean? Think about why men betray their marriages? Throwing out other moral factors is not what he wants. I haven't found it in you. Instead of arguing and arguing with him without results, it is better to make the other party regret first. You can change the past life, understand her preferences, and follow his I wanted to do something for him based on my preferences. In short, the purpose was to make him feel guilty. I betrayed her, and she was so kind to me, so that he could realize his mistakes and correct himself.
4. Communication
When you both know each other’s thoughts and want to move on, the most important thing at this time is to sit down and spend some time to communicate. Two people can meet honestly and talk about the reasons and psychology of the last marriage problem in a normal way, so as to better correct their own way of getting along with each other in marriage and avoid making the same mistakes next time. Of course, it depends on whether you can do this step. Can you do the first three steps well?
In fact, the most taboo thing in a marriage turmoil is to lose yourself. Remember, no matter what happens, remember to adjust your mentality in time and don't get into trouble.