At that time, I also felt that this seemed a bit excessive. In such a delicate place, parents don't need to take care of it.
But when my children were about to go to primary school, I began to realize the initial concern of my relatives.
After children go to school, peer effect is sometimes more influential than parents. It is said that parents are children's first teachers. However, as children grow up, more and more factors will be affected.
As the saying goes, "whoever is near Zhu Zhechi and Mexican is black". After children go to school, the "peer effect" is an important link that cannot be ignored.
Piaget, a famous child development psychologist, believes that for children, peers and parents are equally important and even more influential.
Some time ago, someone saw a frightening news:
A passer-by found several children playing outside the window sill of a tall building, feeling particularly unsafe, so he took out his mobile phone and advised him while patting it.
After the video was posted online and fermented, some netizens found something strange in the video. It seems that the oldest child is "instigating" several younger children to take some risks, such as standing on the edge of a high platform and taking nothing.
Knowing that adults are not allowed to do dangerous things, why do those children try? Aren't they scared?
Aside from the ulterior motives of the "bad boy", other simple children are probably influenced by the "peer effect".
Colleagues have done this, and I can do it;
If I don't do this, will my partner laugh at me?
Children at this stage are afraid that they are different from their peers and will try to seek the approval of their peers.
They are good at imitation, and they are particularly susceptible to peer influence, from their manners and actions, their clothes and their spells. If you find yourself different from others, you will even try to change yourself and make yourself more gregarious.
Because of the strong peer effect, making friends is particularly important. If a child is careless in making friends, meeting a "bad boy" like in the news is more terrible than having no friends.
How to guide children to make friends correctly? First of all, don't close the parent-child communication channel.
When children grow up, parents will find that there are fewer and fewer opportunities to communicate with their children. Many families wait for their children to reach puberty, only to find that the door of communication has been closed for a long time, and even if they encounter great suffering, they are not necessarily willing to tell their parents.
Growing children will become more and more independent, but it doesn't mean that all adolescent children are hostile to their parents. Only by maintaining a good parent-child relationship from an early age and making children feel that their parents are credible and reliable will they be willing to confide in their parents.
Second, concern rather than interference.
Some parents attach too much importance to their children's friendship and treat all the companions around their children as a scourge, which is too much.
When I finished the third year of high school, several little girls thought they were going to college, so they stepped into the ranks of adults and made an appointment with great interest to get their ears pierced and dye their hair together.
I didn't expect to go home that night after I got my ears pierced, and I received a phone call from a female classmate's mother. The classmate's mother spoke politely, but the content sounded harsh to the effect that we should not take her daughter to get her ears pierced.
For children who are eager to tell themselves and the world that they have grown up, the excessive interference of their parents is undoubtedly like a needle holding their breath.
Finally, establish a correct world outlook for children.
A correct world outlook is conducive to helping children identify the quality of friendship.
When parents indoctrinate their children with basic codes of conduct, such as bullying is wrong, stealing should not be done, and good children should not lie, children will keep it in mind. When children are older, they will still remember their parents' education and will not easily subvert established concepts.
In addition, parents should also tell their children that good friendship will make them feel happy and make progress with their peers.
If the so-called "friends" around you always make children miserable, feel inferior and irritable, and even encourage them not to study hard and do bad things, then such friends don't have to be made, and they will meet more suitable partners in the future.