The concept of "friend" appeared in the Western Zhou Dynasty and has been circulating since its birth. The pre-Qin Confucian way of making friends is very rich in content.

In the Western Zhou Dynasty, friends only refer to people who are related by blood. At that time, friends were a social status. Only father and son and brothers can be called friends, and the object of friends is bound by blood relationship. But in the Spring and Autumn Period, social unrest and friends changed. Father and son, brothers are independent of the theory of friendship, and the object of friends naturally changes.

To be friends, the first condition is to be like-minded. It is not only limited to blood relationship, but also extended to all people in the world to become friends.

Choose friends. What kind of people should we choose as friends?

Don't make friends with bad people. "Confucius said:' Good friends are three, bad friends are three, direct friends are four, forgiving friends are four, and friends who listen more are beneficial. Friends are fragile, friends are soft, and friends are bad. ""you can't make friends with bad people. To make friends, make friends with people who are upright, honest and knowledgeable. You can't make friends with flatterers, dishonest people, flatterers and dishonest people, or you will lose your life.

Xunzi emphasized: "don't take friends lightly ... don't take friendly people seriously, this is the foundation of virtue." Making good friends can cultivate people's morality and make people close to etiquette. You should have friends who dare to talk and persuade. In a word, making good friends can cultivate your abilities in all aspects.

Choose people with kindness as friends. Confucius said, "It's refreshing to talk glibly. Don't make friends with people who are rhetoric, hypocrisy and few people. Also choose a gentleman, a gentleman must be a benevolent person.

The symbol of a gentleman is benevolence, and there will be benevolence whenever and wherever. A gentleman can take righteousness as the principle and be flexible. Gentleman is informal; Broad-minded, but not neglect others; Be polite at all times. A gentleman will criticize me and criticize me appropriately. If you flatter me blindly, it is the thief who hurts me. You can infer a person from the way he makes mistakes. "Birds of a feather flock together." You can tell who a person is by looking around him.

Make friends. How to make yourself a friend?

Confucius said, "Virtue is not alone, but there must be neighbors." First of all, you should be virtuous. As long as a person has morality, he will not be isolated and will certainly get along with others. With morality, others are willing to associate with it, because none of us want to get along with a person with bad quality. We should also follow the basic norms of interpersonal communication. People should be respectful and courteous.

Secondly, you can't rely on making friends. You can't make friends with others on your own, otherwise others won't want to make friends with yourself. We should take the principle of "forgetfulness" to make friends equal.