Interpersonal communication barriers, jealousy, inferiority complex, social fear and other problems followed. Psychological experiences such as arrogance, inferiority, loneliness, boredom, hopelessness and fear are frequently visited. Many college students expect to associate with classmates with good interpersonal relationships, but often after several rounds, they lose patience and tolerance and complain repeatedly. College students are too selfish to get along with. Almost everyone is counting the shortcomings and shortcomings of others' communication, and almost everyone thinks that interpersonal relationships in universities are very complicated. From the freshman year, college students' reserved, aloof, supercilious, withdrawn, narrow-minded and selfish defects began to be exposed in interpersonal relationships.

The most difficult problem in four years of college life is interpersonal relationship. At the same time, the communication tentacles of college students have also been greatly extended. They have taken the initiative to extend to teachers, go out of school and society, and are eager to get real exchange experiences and insights from these "books without words". However, it is hard to find a room, let alone go to the society. The lack of language art and skills, cognitive deviation in communication and so on bring them more blows and confusion.

American psychologist W. Barker said, "People can't live without people-he wants to learn from them, hurt them and dominate them ... In short, people need to be with others." Therefore, life needs friendship, life needs communication, and life needs self-image promotion and display. No matter what job you are engaged in, you should learn to deal with all kinds of interpersonal relationships and learn life public relations.

From a certain point of view, good interpersonal relationship should be the best means for individuals to establish their own good image in the collective, form a harmonious relationship, actively expand their contacts, constantly gain praise from others and society, and help their lives to succeed by using the principles of honesty, tolerance and understanding.

1. Social phobia

Yang Meng is a sophomore in a polytechnic university with excellent grades, but in recent years she has been very upset. For a long time, she has been suffering from psychological disorder, and today, she still can't get rid of this shadow. It has caused great losses to her life and study.

Yang Meng was introverted, timid and withdrawn from childhood. Her parents are very strict with her, even harsh. Father's anger is terrible. In primary school, when Yang Meng's exam results were not satisfactory, her father asked her to redo the problem. She didn't want to. Her father threw the pen in her face in a rage, and the tip of the pen stabbed her face, bleeding. Today, it is still very harmful for Yang Meng to recall that incident. My parents are very orthodox and conservative, and they have many taboos about Mengyang. She is not allowed to associate with strange children. Father thinks it is immoral for girls to jump around and fight outside, and they are easily fooled by bad people. So Yang Meng seldom plays outside except at school and at home.

Speaking of unpleasant experiences, Yang Meng still remembers that when she was in junior high school, she always got good grades. She didn't answer a question well, and the teacher criticized her in public. She was so sad that she burst into tears Then, in her freshman year, one of her roommates, S, came from the countryside and her family was very poor. Yang Meng often offered to help her, but it hurt S's self-esteem. S not only doesn't treat Yang Meng as a friend, but often finds fault with her, accuses her, makes things difficult for her, deliberately makes love to other students in front of her, snubbs her and isolates her. This made Yang Meng very depressed and sad. She hates herself and blames herself for being unpopular.

Unconsciously, Yang Meng was afraid of contact with people and became more and more shy. She thinks she is a freak, whose shortcoming is shyness. For more than a year, she never talked to people much. When talking to people, she didn't dare to look straight, her eyes dodged, as if she had done something wrong. You have a fever as soon as you talk. Keep your head down and stand on tiptoe. My heart is pounding, my muscles have goose bumps, and my whole body seems to be shaking. She doesn't want to get in touch with her classmates. She thinks others hate herself and is regarded as a "freak" by others.

I am afraid of teachers, too. In class, I am not nervous only when the teacher writes on the blackboard with his back to the students. As long as the teacher faces the students, he dare not look at the blackboard. I often don't know what the teacher said because I am nervous. To make matters worse, it is "unnatural" to speak in front of relatives, friends and neighbors now. Because of these problems, I seldom go to social places and get in touch with people. I tried to overcome this strange problem.

Yang Meng suffers from a common psychological disorder-social phobia.

When facing the crowd, I feel not only shy, but also afraid, and have a strong sense of unease and rejection of the world outside myself. This kind of anxiety and social disorder caused by the inadaptability to social life and groups is called social phobia, which is one of the most disturbing psychological problems for college students.

Social fear is actually a compulsive concept with a high prevalence. The patient was distressed by contact with others. Of course, everyone may have some degree of social fear, but when neurotic symptoms develop, their fear and pain are so deep that they avoid contact with others and cause serious obstacles to their daily life.

In the United States, social fear accounts for 12%- 13% of the total population, that is, one in eight people is troubled by anxiety caused by this fear at some stage of their lives or in their lifetime, which seriously affects their life, communication and personal development.

The situation in China is also not optimistic, especially after the reform and opening up, people are facing various psychological pressures, maladjustment is increasing day by day, and social phobia is soaring. Although there is no national epidemiological investigation report so far, it is not difficult to see from the daily outpatient service that the proportion of social phobia accounts for almost 20% of mental illness, second only to depression and anxiety. If divided by age, social phobia is the first disease among adolescents' psychological disorders. As intellectual youth, college students are the high incidence group of this disease.

The psychology of social phobia basically stems from shyness. No matter how old the patient is, the mentality is the same, but everyone's situation is different and the explanation is different. There are shallow psychological shyness and deep psychological shyness; Some people realize it, while others don't.

The process of social fear is like this:

First of all, patients are afraid of strangers, even familiar people; Secondly, everyone avoids it; Third, fear is accompanied by obvious tension, sweating and trembling, as well as many plant sexual dysfunction; Fourth, in the process of disease development, excessive self-defense mechanism often appears; Finally, there is a state similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder. You know you shouldn't but you can't control yourself.

Although fear is a psychological process, it will inevitably affect physiological functions, so nervousness, sweating, palpitation, shortness of breath and trembling will follow, and blushing is the easiest phenomenon to show. These reactions are actually manifestations of anxiety. In order to get rid of anxiety, avoidance is the only means. The purpose of avoidance is to avoid the attack of anxiety. As long as there is no one around, social phobia will feel safe. When avoiding, many patients will have "allergic involvement", which is a psychological mechanism of self-defense. For scenes or people who are afraid, there will be a psychological generalization that "all plants are soldiers" and an abnormal allergic reaction to external things. If you feel that others are paying attention to him, even every move of others implies disgust, rejection and helplessness. , thus strengthening their reasons for avoiding: people hate me because I am not good. It's better to leave the crowd on your own initiative than to make people hate me. Why ask for trouble? So, with this projection psychology, I can achieve a balance in my illness.

In 2000, a seminar on social phobia was held in Shanghai. The speaker is David Sheehan, a famous American psychiatrist. He believes that both psychological and physiological factors can lead to social phobia, and its attack is caused by a chemical disorder called "5- hydroxytryptamine" in the human body. This substance is responsible for transmitting information to brain nerve cells. Too much or too little of this substance will cause people's fear.

Social phobia may come from family inheritance, or it may experience some traumatic and embarrassing life events. Anyone who suffers from the disease will find the real background of the disease through the investigation and analysis of the medical history: family, personality, upbringing environment and methods, childhood trauma and experience, especially adolescent sex education and depression caused by sex.

Just as the growth of trees must have suitable soil for their growth, social phobia must also have suitable soil, that is, susceptible quality, before it can be implanted into patients. Generally speaking, people with the following personality characteristics are prone to social phobia:

(1) introverted people. Introverts tend to be quiet and introspective, and don't like contact with people; People with unstable emotions are prone to anxiety and react too strongly to various stimuli. It is difficult to calm down after being stimulated. When interacting with people, strong emotional reactions affect normal adaptation.

② sensitive person. Sensitive people often feel that others see him (her) nervous and unnatural, and that others don't like, hate or unnatural from others' eyes, so they are even more nervous and afraid.

3 inferiority complex. People with low self-esteem think they lack social skills and ability, and they are afraid of causing bad reactions from others.

4 perfectionists. People who pursue perfection excessively demand too much of themselves, hoping to be perfect in front of everyone, on any occasion and in all aspects, and hoping to be praised by others. But no one is perfect, which will inevitably lead to repeated self-frustration, and finally make people nervous and afraid.

The treatment of social phobia is generally through psychoanalysis and psychotherapy.

For Yang Meng in the former case, cognitive understanding therapy and relaxation training can be used as the treatment plan.

First of all, let her review the unpleasant events she has experienced, analyze the process of her character formation, and find out the real reason for her current situation. You can know from the narrative:

① Yang Meng's introverted, withdrawn and timid personality is the internal factor that affects interpersonal communication.

② The taboo consciousness of parents in her communication has formed a strong sense of shame in her character, which hinders interpersonal communication.

When she was a child, the fear reaction caused by her father's anger and the humiliation reaction caused by her teacher's public criticism and sarcasm left a negative psychological impression on her. This impression will be activated by negative life events in the future, which will play a role in the emergence and development of psychological disorders.

4 When getting along with classmates, I feel that "good intentions are not rewarded", but I am misunderstood and treated maliciously, so I feel wronged, resentful and angry; Due to the psychological defense mechanism, these frustration reactions are subconsciously transformed into repressed hostility and avoidance reactions to that classmate, resulting in Yang Meng's generalized psychological phenomenon (that is, hostility and avoidance reactions to people around him); On the other hand, self-reproach and self-reproach aggravate the shyness and timidity in Yang Meng's character. Therefore, interpersonal conflict, a negative life event, is a direct and realistic inducement that leads to her fear of people.

⑤ When Yang Meng has a fear reaction to people, he criticizes and urges himself to do what he should do and controls himself not to do what he wants to do, which has the function of suggesting and strengthening "symptoms". In addition, the more she feels "unnatural", "embarrassed" and "embarrassed", the more "imaginary thoughts" appear in her mind. This further led to the deterioration of her self-awareness. In such a vicious circle, "symptoms" are getting worse and worse. In this dilemma that she wants to change but can't change and wants to get rid of, she is unable to get rid of it. The negative psychological imprint of her early years was activated, intertwined with practical problems, and produced a comprehensive effect.

When Yang Meng realizes how social phobia is formed, he can adopt the following suggestions:

Put yourself in the position of the classmate who has been helped by her but is not friendly to her, and understand and tolerate her. At the same time, check whether you have allergies, paranoia and other psychology that is not conducive to communication. In this way, the repressed hostility was gradually lifted.

To correctly understand the normal communication between people, we need to express ourselves through communication, abandon the old sense of shame and respect our legitimate wishes.

(3) Find two girls who have a good relationship and see if their reactions to you, such as blushing, trembling, eyes wandering and other "unnatural" states, are true. The purpose is to let her overcome the role of "imaginary audience" through investigation.

Social phobia is relatively acquired, that is, social skills are not born with fear. On the one hand, it is necessary to master social skills through interpersonal communication in order to expand social coverage, on the other hand, it is possible to have a sound personality development before interpersonal communication. Therefore, social terror is inevitable in the process of personality development, especially for college students. It is the imperfection of personal personality development that leads to habitual social phobia, thus forming social phobia and affecting normal study and life. Therefore, strengthening self-confidence and participating in group activities are the key to overcoming social fear.

2. Why dare not approach the opposite sex?

At that time, Li Min was in the third grade, bid farewell to playfulness, and devoted himself to the general review of the third grade. But in the final stage, by chance, she found that her eyes were wrong-she didn't dare to look straight at the opposite sex, and her eyes were a little crooked. Since then, she has been afraid to look at men. Before long, to make matters worse, she got jaundice hepatitis again. But with tenacious perseverance and hard work, Li Min was admitted to a key high school. Full of confidence and hope, she slowly overcame her eyes in her hard study, hoping that it would not betray her again. But after such a long time, it's still like this. She doesn't know how these years passed. Every time I think of her, I feel that I am really a sinner and that this is a sin. Whenever she accidentally looks at others with that kind of eyes, she will comfort herself like this: it's none of my business, please don't blame me.

In class, Li Min tried to avoid the teacher's sight while paying attention to the class, especially when listening to the male teacher, she almost felt ashamed and uncomfortable.

This attitude has caused many misunderstandings, including her teacher, especially her math teacher Li. The teacher has a bad relationship with her husband and wife. Because of her poor eyesight, he always pays special attention to her. In fact, Li Min didn't do it on purpose. She always feels sorry for them. When she was a sophomore, her eyes caused a misunderstanding of a selfish boy. He knew that her grades were good. At that time, he fell in love with a beautiful girl, but he went to CoCo Lee every three days. CoCo Lee didn't mean that at all. She tried to restrain herself, but she couldn't resist the temptation of handsome guys, and her grades plummeted. The ridicule of classmates, the blame of teachers and the disappointment of parents all made her miserable, and then she really realized the taste of life as hell. To make matters worse, the boy's pride, because Li Min never gave in to others, and now she finally fell at his feet. He's so proud! Whenever Li Min sits alone in the classroom at night, her heart hurts, her head hurts and her mood hurts. But she managed to pass the exam and entered the third year of high school.

In the third year of high school, Li Min tore up all the diaries, destroyed everything that could arouse her memories, and began to adjust her mentality. She really did it! She became the best student in the class. But the selfish boy began to harass her again. She tried her best to restrain and resist. She thought she could overcome the temptation, but she failed. Li Min hates him and her own eyes always betray her!

Li Min failed in the college entrance examination in Sun Shan.

After a year's repetition, she was admitted to an ordinary university. Li Min often feels desperate, lonely and helpless because of the contusion and psychological distortion caused by failing the list. She often wanders alone in the street, realizing the feeling of loss, hesitation, helplessness and desolation. Sometimes, I wish I could be hit by a car, so that she wouldn't have to find an excuse to die. There is nothing in the world that worries her. The only thing that bothers her is her mother. ...

"Life is so beautiful, it's good to be alive." My roommate always tells her. "It would be nice to die." Li Min always thinks so stubbornly. She is inexplicably alienated from all the boys. No boy dares to approach her. She is as cold as an iceberg. She subconsciously protected herself from harassment.

"How can you get married like this?" Those roommates played a joke on her.

"I want to become a monk and not marry." She always said that. She is afraid of men.

Whenever Li Min thinks of going out into the society and facing many people and things, she will feel uneasy. "What should I do? The society is so complicated and people are so difficult to get along with. What should I do? I want to work and survive, and I must earn money to support myself. " She really felt that she shouldn't have come into this world, and God shouldn't punish her with this disease. She sometimes wants to escape from society and live a quiet and secluded life, but she is really unwilling. If it weren't for the harassment of this lesion, she would be particularly outstanding. She once vowed to be a strong woman and get a master's degree. She is diligent, she is studious, and she is better. She is very capable of controlling herself and dominating herself. She has a wide range of hobbies and likes to learn all kinds of knowledge. She is good at almost all aspects such as art and sports, and she can master time. She is a clever girl.

But she is really miserable and often feels that life is worse than death. What should she do?

Psychologists say: psychological conflict+mental illness+physical abnormality = the source of nervous system diseases.

What runs through this heterosexual phobia patient is the violent conflict between "study life" and "lust life" The psychological vortex formed by the contradiction between reason and instinct, the conflict between sexual delusion and sexual taboo appear repeatedly, and the spiritual energy consumed exceeds the limit, which will naturally stimulate heterosexual phobia.

In Huangdi Neijing, sexual maturity is called "Chun Qing Chen Fa", which is equivalent to the first estrus of female animals. After sexual maturity, "Chun Qing" first showed sexual delusion. Sexual delusion is an instinctive sexual activity, which is "evil" from the social point of view; From a moral point of view, it is a "shadow". When the girl Chun Qing appeared with the idea of "evil" and "shadow", the subject's self-consciousness and self-will could not be controlled, which was really embarrassing, shameful and terrible. Extreme sexual paranoia and sexual fear cause special sensitivity to heterosexual contact, which is called "heterosexual phobia".

About this kind of "Chun Qing's appearance" with sexual delusion and sexual fear, it can be divided into two situations:

The first is what you can realize. For example, Freud quoted a female patient in his works and recalled: "Before getting married, many young girls dream that they are the plaything of a mature man and imagine lewd and secret scenes." Another female patient recalled: "In my dream, there was nothing despicable that I didn't do." Outgoing girls use this erotic and arrogant imagination as compensation for their lust.

The second is that you don't realize it. Sexual delusion is completed in the deep psychological level, that is, the subconscious. When it is shown, the rational struggle is useless, and the abnormal reaction of body and mind has been formed. For example, the situation mentioned in the last patient's narrative reflects the sexual delusion and sexual fear of introverted girls.

Heterophobia is afraid of one's own sexual illusions. Girls, especially those who have been raised with excessive care, have not received sex education and are the seeds of love, are full of delusions. When she finds out that she has sexual delusion, she will be dumbfounded and suffer from mental illness. As an "imaginary fact", sexual delusion always makes them morbidly timid, afraid of men approaching them and staring at them. It is a kind of mental torture for men to approach and stare at them. Fear and eyes express these contents.

Strabismus is a kind of polyneuropathy, which is easy to adjust, so don't worry too much. For the cases in this section, the following treatment methods have been adopted and achieved good results:

● Cognitive understanding therapy

People's psychological barriers always appear when the motivation conflict is difficult to solve. On the one hand, patients are sensitive, need to communicate with the opposite sex, on the other hand, they are afraid of communication, so psychological barriers appear. The solution is to let go of the ideological burden first. Li Min has reached the age of love, and no one will make irresponsible remarks about her normal communication.

The main advantage of cognitive understanding therapy is that once understood, the problem is basically solved.

● Behavioral therapy

People who are afraid of the opposite sex dare not make eye contact with the opposite sex, let alone talk to the opposite sex. Even if you talk to the opposite sex, you will blush and be incoherent. When they see the opposite sex coming towards them, they will sweat with nervousness. Psychologists believe that behavior correction therapy is one of the best methods at present. Here are some behavioral therapies:

① Imitate the behavior of "forgetting me". Most people who are afraid of the opposite sex are people with sensitive interpersonal attitudes. Most people pay too much attention to others' attitudes towards their own behavior, so they tend to adopt rigid, formal and stylized behavior. Although I feel too tired to be a man, I can't find a way to express myself.

We should know that people's ideas and thoughts suppress feelings too much, which will lead to psychological depression, and then produce a contrast between feelings and behaviors. So, take advantage of some opportunities to change your original social image. For example, in public, you can learn to talk about Kan Kan of the opposite sex; Playing with children in front of strangers can give you unprecedented courage and carefree mood.

② Complete behavioral homework. Behavioral homework is a means to correct fear through external behavior. The so-called "homework" refers to an activity that I don't want to do, but I have to do. I may be psychologically passive, but I am active in behavior. According to this principle, give yourself homework, such as going to discuss the commodity problem with the opposite sex salesman for one minute, and learn to argue with unreasonable opposite sex passengers in public. Make detailed records every time you finish your homework, write down your successful experience and constantly create new behaviors. In this way, I can get a new self unconsciously.

③ Rebuild the belief network. At the time stage, the most sensitive thing to the occurrence of heterosexual fear is the emotional state at the beginning. The common mental state is "I met her again, it must be as bad as last time", and then my heart went out of control, and the symptoms of fear appeared in turn according to the original procedure. This shows that the instantaneous emotional state determines the behavior of the whole communication process. Therefore, before approaching the opposite sex, you should relax and take a deep breath for 3-4 times, and you can hint to yourself that "I am particularly calm and calm today, and I am in a particularly good mood!" You can also recall a proud thing in your life, which is manifested by facial muscles. And think of the first sentence to say, and speak slowly when you meet.

● Systemic desensitization therapy

Systemic desensitization therapy is also a behavioral therapy. Before using this method, patients are required to grade their fear of the opposite sex according to the degree of fear, such as: their close fathers and brothers → older male teachers → young male teachers → ordinary men → familiar men → ordinary male classmates → male classmates with good feelings. The specific arrangement order depends on your specific situation.

Then, from light to heavy, actively and repeatedly contact these fearful objects, and relax their muscles when they feel scared until the tension is eliminated. After adapting to the lighter objects, move on to the next level, and so on. A grade lasts about a week, so after a few weeks, the fear of the opposite sex is eliminated, and the patient is out of the trouble of the mind. "

3. Lonely Walker

I am a college student. Since I went to college, I suddenly encountered many problems that I hadn't encountered before, or didn't realize. This makes me feel very painful and helpless. I'm in a state of excitement. Actually, I'm lonely.

There were many classmates where I lived when I was a child. Many people come to my house to play after school every day, which has been the case for a long time. Slowly, I got used to staying at home and waiting for others to come to me. I never take the initiative to find someone else. When I am with you again, I am just an audience, and I never or rarely participate in your discussion.

When I got to high school, I found fewer and fewer friends around me, and I didn't know any new friends in high school. But I didn't care too much, because I was too busy studying in high school. I think, be quiet, I can do my own thing in peace.

It's almost a year since I went to college, but I always feel out of place with my classmates. I think many students are of poor quality, vulgar and selfish. For example, foreign friends come to visit the school and take pictures of their classmates, who deliberately huddle in front of the guests and compete for photos that can be imaged immediately; After turning off the lights at night, I still turn on the radio loudly regardless of others ... and my classmates think I am lofty, conceited and clever, don't want to talk to me, and often dig at me.

I feel so lonely, I don't know if I should go with the flow. Or continue to maintain their own personality? I can't concentrate in class now, and my study has plummeted. What should I do? Please help me.

Loneliness is the lack of normal social contact. But loneliness comes from the intentional alienation of the mind.

There are generally two kinds of loneliness: one is emotional isolation, which means that lonely people are unwilling to associate with people around them; The second is social isolation, which means that lonely people have no network of friends or relatives.

Loneliness is not simply living alone, nor does it mean loneliness. A person alone, not necessarily feel lonely; Being in public does not necessarily mean that there is no loneliness.

There are many and complicated reasons for loneliness, such as frustration, lack of communication, loss of maternal love and no friends around. The generation of loneliness is also related to people's personality. For example, some people are arrogant, look down on the people next to them, and it is easy for people around them to gradually leave; Some people's moods are changeable, often ups and downs, and they are easy to offend others, thus leaving themselves in a lonely state; Others are good at calculating, always haggle over every ounce, and think too much about personal gains and losses, thus creating obstacles to interpersonal communication.

The loneliness of college students is generally closely related to their personality. Just like the self-reported loneliness in the above example, it is mainly caused by his passive personality in communication.

Loneliness or deliberate rejection of the environment. Generally speaking, loneliness is a state that people don't want to accept. It brings people all kinds of negative experiences, such as depression, helplessness, frustration, irritability, inferiority and despair, so loneliness is very harmful to human health. According to statistics, the number of deaths of healthy but mentally lonely people in ten years is twice that of healthy and gregarious people. The death rate caused by people's mental loneliness is as high as that caused by smoking, obesity and high blood pressure. But this does not mean that loneliness must have bad emotions, and bad emotions come from loneliness.

Loneliness breaks up with friendship and has nothing to do with understanding. Loneliness is close to sin and equals death. An active life should transcend loneliness.

Social psychologists believe that loneliness has the following three characteristics: first, it is caused by the defects of social relations; Secondly, it is unpleasant and distressing; Finally, it is subjective feeling rather than objective state.

Judging from the situation of the self-reported person in the above example, it should be interpersonal tension caused by maladjustment. A person with social attributes is bound to associate with others. Especially in today's society, people's contacts, exchanges and cooperation are more frequent and close. If they are not good at interpersonal communication, it is difficult to gain a foothold in society. It is not advisable to go with the flow and fight separately.

Therefore, it is suggested that lonely college students may wish to practice from the following aspects:

● Strengthen self-awareness and evaluate yourself correctly.

Laozi said, "Those who know others are wise, those who know themselves are clear, those who win others are strong, and those who win themselves are strong". Have a full understanding of your personality, temperament, ability, emotion and value orientation. Only in this way can we find our own coordinates, grasp ourselves, not lose ourselves, not care so much about other people's comments, and not listen to other people's suggestions.

If you can't integrate into this group, you should first find the reason from yourself. Keeping the original personality will certainly not help to change the status quo. We should learn to get rid of the bad aspects of our personality, such as arrogance, self-centeredness, and there is no proper limit to what we say and do. At the same time, carry forward the good side of personality: enthusiasm, liveliness, generosity and helpfulness. Keep a peaceful attitude towards others and yourself, without conceit or inferiority.

● Open-minded and generous.

School is not a pure land, and it is not surprising that all kinds of colorful values in society will be reflected in school. It is bound to be disappointing and cynical to measure everyone by an idealized standard. Therefore, we should not expect too much from the outside world, but should see people's mainstream side and their inner beauty. For unprincipled problems, we should learn to be modest, ignore them, laugh at others' ridicule and sarcasm, or be silent. Remember, most people don't mean to hurt you.

● Learn to listen

If you listen first, you can understand other people's thoughts and feelings and learn from their strengths. Otherwise, if you talk too much, you will be left out in the cold and ignored. Secondly, if you talk too much, you will lose and put yourself in a passive position. Others find it boring to associate with you, and they also find it difficult to get along with others and integrate into the group.

● Cultivate empathy and observe the needs of others.

Judge other people's emotions and needs, and accurately infer other people's behavior from other people's nonverbal expressions such as expression, sitting posture and posture. Choose the topic that the other person is interested in, put yourself in the other person's position, and "put yourself in the other person's shoes". This can reduce many misunderstandings and unpleasant conflicts. People think you are considerate and willing to get along with you.

● Good at controlling emotions

On the one hand, we should learn to adapt to this environment (such as "making noise"), on the other hand, we can control our own behaviors and emotions and maintain a good emotional state, thus affecting and moving others' behaviors and emotions. When putting forward your own opinions or criticisms, you should pay attention to the way and tone of your speech, so that others can accept it and express their wishes well.

Compliment others and meet all kinds of friends.

While learning to find the bright spots in people around you, I sincerely express my appreciation and thank others for their timely help and praise.

You can make friends with different hobbies, such as ball friends, book friends, chess friends and so on. In this way, you won't be isolated, you won't feel lonely, and you will have harmonious and happy interpersonal relationships.

4. Jealousy is a disease

The silence of the night was broken by the harsh cry. Female college student Chen threw concentrated sulfuric acid at her roommate Li Miaoling, and then died with a strange smile. Li Miaoling's head, face, neck and hands were severely burned by concentrated sulfuric acid, and the burned area of the whole body reached 8%. Even if she has plastic surgery in the future, her eyes and ears will not return to normal.

The only witness Han Han said: