I fell in love with you from a long time ago, and I can't extricate myself; Now, your behavior and your thoughts are out of tune with my life. The gap between us makes me hate you now-but I still miss you so much, even if I am disappointed every time, it will be painful.

About this sentence, I first saw a line from Anne Hathaway in the movie One Day, which reminded me of my last relationship:

Last autumn, I got on the bus home with my headphones plugged and listening to music as usual. After several stops, a girl came up, sat down opposite me and played with her mobile phone.

Long brown hair, fair face, black-rimmed glasses, a white coat and a pair of gray high heels. The way she lowered her head slightly was beautiful. When I heard the accelerated heartbeat, I couldn't listen to the music anymore. I took off my headphones and glanced at her sometimes.

It was the stop. The bus was crowded. I was pushed behind. I saw through the window that she had got off the bus. I couldn't wait to squeeze out. Looking at her disappearing back in the crowd, I hesitated for a moment. At this time, it suddenly occurred to me that if I delayed for a while, I might never see this girl again ...

Whatever! Chase!

Finally, I caught up with her at the intersection ahead. With a little breath, I said, "Hello, I want to know you!" ……?

after that, we started chatting on wechat, and I asked her out. After dinner, I sent her back to the dormitory, laughing and laughing all the way. When we got downstairs, we waved goodbye to each other. I still remember stepping on the rhythm every step of the way back.

I took her to many places, ate a lot of delicious food, and went to see her at school every now and then, sometimes with snacks. Gradually, we hold hands and hug each other ...?

? I remember one time when I was in a bad mood, I took her to a pub. In the dim light, we talked about many things. We drank 1664 and listened to the young man with a guitar playing Miss Dong. When we improvised, we would shake our bodies and sing along. I got up and took a paper rose from the bar, tapped her nose and sang the last sentence with the resident singer. Come with me, Miss Dong?

She smiled happily and accepted my paper roses. I sent her downstairs that day, and I hugged her for a long time. I watched her go back through the glass door. Just as I turned to leave, I reluctantly turned my head and found that she just turned to look at me. We smiled at each other and waved again.

I thought she liked me that day.

? I had a good time in those days.

she said that she likes cats.

One day, I sneaked up to her and unzipped my coat. A little Garfield, who had been in my arms for more than 3 days, showed his little head and meowed. At that moment, the way she looked at the kitten was so gentle that I was moved. We sat down, and the spicy strip fell asleep on her lap. I put her in my arms and she kissed me on the cheek. At that moment, I suddenly felt as if I had everything without conquering the world ... (I was so stupid at that moment! ）? Oh, by the way, that kitten's name is Chili.

It's winter, and our school has an early holiday and a long holiday. My roommate and I agreed to go out for a break, and soon we booked a plane ticket to Shenzhen, but she didn't see me off the day we left.

after I found a job, I contacted her and she said to take care of yourself.

I'm very tired and busy at work. Sometimes I have to stay up all night. When I'm free, I send her WeChat. She comes back sometimes, and sometimes she doesn't.

She said that she also took a job in her city. She was very busy and tired at work. After work, she went home and fell asleep in bed.

once I was angry, I said, "I know you don't want to talk to me recently, but I just want to talk to you when I am physically and mentally exhausted. I have to work the night shift today, so I have to catch up on sleep now, so you don't have to call me back!"

The next day, she replied to me with a weeping expression, saying that there was no internet at home. I said nothing, and after a few words, there was silence again.

After working for a period of time, I had some conflicts with my boss and colleagues. I left with my luggage in a fit of pique, greeted my roommate, and they continued to work. I decided to leave.

I remember she said that she would come to Shenzhen as an intern, so I stayed around Shenzhen for a few more days. I also found several interesting shops, thinking of taking her around when she came. I also sent two postcards to Tianzifang, one to her and one to myself a year later.

Later, when I was going back, she said she would meet me at the airport. I said it was too cold, so I was afraid you would freeze.

So I came back secretly. I wanted to tell my parents about my love in a while. During this time, I had some personal affairs to deal with. Unexpectedly, something happened at this time.

I accidentally noticed a person under her Weibo, whose head is a cat with a cute name. My heart thumped when I opened it! Several of them are @ her disgusting words, and their interaction. I was stunned for a long time and called.

"I'm back," she replied coldly. "I'm back early." "What are you doing?" "having dinner with friends" "oh … who is …xxxx (the cute screen name)?" ?

? I could feel her stupefied. We were silent for a long time. She said, "I'll call you back later"?

I sat in a chair and looked out of the window, feeling a little complicated. I picked up my mobile phone and left a message under that cute Weibo: "She has a boyfriend, you have no chance, I wish you find happiness again." After a while, that Meng Meng replied to me: "Well, thank you." ?

Her short message came: "I'm sorry I never told you that I actually had a boyfriend, and I never admitted that you were my boyfriend. At first, I thought we were just making friends, but then you chased me too hard, and I didn't know how to refuse, so I'm sorry, please delete that Weibo."

I felt as if I had been shot in the chest. I quickly typed the word "roll" in the input box!

when I was about to send it, I held back ...? I sat slumped in my chair for a long time, then deleted the word and looked at the train to her city tonight. I couldn't catch it until midnight. I booked the train for tomorrow morning, and didn't send her any message, just silently waiting for tomorrow.

I stayed up all night smoking cigarettes that night, and I want to get her back!

I went to her city the next day, but I didn't know where she lived? I only know the address where she works when I sent her a postcard last time. I grabbed this only clue and looked for it. I asked the staff there and said that she quit at the beginning of the month.

I called her, hung up, called again, hung up and called again. Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is power off, sorry ...? I sent a WeChat; It's dark ... Send private messages, send qq…… ... After waiting for several hours, nothing happened.

It was getting dark, and my heart was dying. I booked a train to go back at night, and then she replied to me ...?

"Are you still there?" ?

"hmm"?

"I will come back from the driving school in two hours. Can you wait?" ?

"good"?

After a long wait of two hours, I followed her cue to get on the bus that she went home. After getting on the bus, I didn't say a word, and there were still many people crowded. I would subconsciously put my arms around her waist when I braked suddenly.

after she got off the bus, she bought food, so I followed her without saying a word, saying something on the way, and I also replied with one build and one build.

I followed her upstairs, and she said that her grandmother was at home. Although I was unprepared, I didn't feel nervous, just like going home. ? When I entered the door, I called my grandmother. She showed me around her bedroom, folded my coat that I had left on her bed, and watched her busy cooking dinner. I suddenly felt married.

She still clamored for a coke and asked me to buy it. Grandma criticized her for not going and told me to go. I said, "Nothing, I can find it.".

When you go downstairs, follow the instructions given by her, go out and go straight, then turn left. I went into a small supermarket, carried a box, took a bucket of coke, two bottles of yogurt, a bottle of almond dew, a box of spicy cabbage and a canned peach.

It took a long time to get out. She made a lot of phone calls and asked me if I found it. The road is too dark. Can you find your way back?

I'm afraid I lost it. She called me more that day than all the previous ones put together.

The road is really dark, so dark that I can see stars when I look up, more than I have ever seen before.

? She saw that I bought a lot of things and said, "How do you know I want to eat spicy cabbage and canned food?" I smiled and didn't answer. I scalded the bottle of almond milk with hot water, opened it and handed it to my grandmother. My grandmother was very happy and quickly said thank you. I smiled.

It's as if nothing had happened before. In her bedroom, we talked and laughed together, and I told many stories about my stay in Magic Capital.

It was late. I went out to find a hotel and stayed. It was very cold. I curled up in the quilt and watched the news from her.

Her former boyfriend was her high school classmate, and both grandma and her mother disagreed, thinking that they were yellow. After that, she told her family about me, so she took me to her house. She also said that grandma had a good impression of me. She said that she thought I would never talk to her again and asked me why I had the courage to come to her.

? "Because I love you! So I chose to forgive, but it has nothing to do with you now. Grandma likes me, I am very happy, but even if your mother and your grandmother like me, I can't help it if you don't like me. In fact, I just want to tell you what's on my mind. "

Later, I sent her the card I wrote at the top of Lianhua Mountain. She said, "I feel powerless to say anything now." ?

? Delete it after reading it?

I feel relieved.

She said, "I don't know how to choose. One is him, and the other is someone who is kind to me." She also said, "Please don't tell him that I took you to my home. I don't want him to know"? I understand ...?

at this time, I have understood all this, and I am not entangled.

The next morning before the train, she insisted on taking me to eat their famous barbecue. However, I didn't have any appetite, and she kept putting meat on my plate. I said, "Don't put it on me, I can't eat …"?

She also said that when you come back in summer, I will take you to a barbecue. I smiled and said, "If there is another chance"? This time she put me on the train.

I thought about it for a long time on the train, and it was like waking up ...?

Later, I deleted all my contact information with her, dragged her photo out of my wallet, attached my train ticket when I left, and put it in an envelope. I asked my friend to give it to her, and there was a letter in it, which contained only a few short sentences. In fact, there were still many words I wanted to say to you. At the end, there was only one sentence

I'm leaving, and I'll never see you again!

During the period after our separation, I was fascinated to share Jonathan Lee's single "The Price of Love", and I always felt that he made many emotional entanglements very clear:

Maybe I still miss him occasionally

I will inevitably miss him occasionally

Just think of him as an old friend

It also makes me feel distressed

It also makes me worry

It's just that my heart is no longer there.