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A cross talk by Guo Degang

Beautiful life~! It must be correct, I have read Guo Degang’s cross talk text "Beautiful Life" three times

Guo: Thank you, thank you everyone for giving me a round of applause...

Yu: We are two people here Performance.

Guo: The next photo is for you...no one took it.

Yu: Who said no one was taking pictures? There were so many people applauding.

Guo: There are so many people coming.

Yu: That’s right.

Guo: There are tens of thousands of people

Yu: Not that many.

Guo: There are several people named Wan

Yu: There are tens of thousands of people

Guo: Why are so many people here?

Yu: Ah

Guo: It’s all because of you

Yu: I wouldn’t dare

Guo: Look at you, Beijing Deyun The famous cross talk actor-Donkey Qian.

Yu: Donkey Qian~~

Guo: Hi, I made a mistake, Yu Qian. Everyone can write the word Yu

Yu: That’s it

Guo: There’s a horse on the left and a household on the right...

Yu: It’s still a donkey

Guo: Teacher Yu, a good person! !

Yu: No

Guo: What a good person! !

Yu: Not really.

Guo: Looking at the entire crosstalk community in Beijing, if you want to find someone who can compare with Teacher Yu, there is none!

Yu: You mean nothing compared to me

Guo: Well~ I can only find a few outstanding ones from the ancients, just like you

Yu: Who can you look for among the ancients?

Guo: For example, in the Eastern Han Dynasty, there was a man named Cai Lun

Yu: Oh~ the man who invented papermaking, a master

Guo: Cai Lun Same as Teacher Yu!

Yu: Is there any more?

Guo: Sima Qian

Yu: Writing historical records is even more of an expert

Guo: Well, Sima Qian Same as Teacher Yu

Yu: There is also

Guo: In the Ming Dynasty, there was one, Zheng He

Yu: Voyage to the West

Guo: Zheng He is the same as Teacher Yu

Yu: And there are

Guo: The East is undefeated! (Yu Interception) Li Yuchun! ! ! !

Yu: Don’t talk nonsense, I’m telling you, the police will arrest you soon

Guo: Same...

Yu: That’s different

Guo: Teacher Yu was not in good health two days ago and was hospitalized

Yu: There is such a thing

Guo: The Beijing Evening News published it, saying that the famous cross talk actor Yu Qian , hospitalized due to illness, pharyngitis

Yu: A little famous

Guo: If you were in another profession, this might not be a big deal, but for us, "Don't scold us and say "Cross talk!" This is called the door. "I didn't tell you." You said the Beijing Evening News also reported that he was hospitalized with pharyngitis. Where can I explain it?

Yu: That's it

Guo: Is pharyngitis a disease?

Yu: It’s not a serious illness

Guo: Many people have pharyngitis now

Yu: Pharyngitis is also very common

Guo: Just Even many ancient people suffered from pharyngitis

Yu: Did the ancients suffer from pharyngitis? Who is there?

Guo: Li Lianying!

Yu: Why did Li Lianying get pharyngitis?

Guo: It became inflamed after castration...

Yu: Such a pharyngitis

Guo: Yu The teacher has just been pushed out from the operating room. He is in very bad health but in good spirits (Lanhua points) "It's okay!"

Yu: Is everything okay? Return both hands

Guo: So today I can stand with Mr. Yu...

Yu: What is Mr. Yu

Guo: Mr. Ouchi

Yu: He and I are not from the same place

Guo: That is, he is a workshop and you are made by Xiehe

Yu: Go aside

Guo: Teacher Yu is a very nice person, and he has a very good relationship with me. I miss him when I don’t see him for three days. When I have nothing to do, I surf the Internet in the Internet cafe and search for news about Yu Qian

Yu: There is a lot of information about me on the Internet

Guo: Especially the photo of Teacher Yu is very popular on the Internet, and the Public Security Bureau Internet Supervision Brigade has banned it

Yu: Is that a photo of me?

Guo: What are you making fun of? I didn't see enough 200 pictures, so I stood with teacher Yu Guanxi today...

Yu: Why did you change my last name?

Guo: I even slept with you That... prostitute

Yu: You have also had sex with my prostitute, so we have to become sisters...

Guo: What are you talking about! ! You are very vulgar

Yu: Don’t you tell me that I can remember it

Guo: What is that

Yu: Blog

Guo: I saw it on that blog, oh, so many people clicked on you

Yu: So many people clicked on me, is that ridiculous?

Guo: (Pointing with fingers) Isn’t this a point to you?

Yu: Hi, you said it wrong, click

Guo: To point you is to point a chicken

Yu: The more you say it, the more outrageous it becomes , click rate

Guo: Why is it still green?

Yu: I can’t explain to you

Guo: Teacher Yu is a very nice person, I admire him very much He, he is my idol. I want to learn from him in all aspects. Teacher Yu raises a little cat, and we will raise one too.

The teacher keeps a dog, and we also keep one. Teacher Yu’s dog is good, a brown lion, with such a big head, let’s raise one, Pekingese and Pomeranian’s skewers, their heads are like garlic, their butts are like pumpkins, Teacher Yu’s dogs are called faces

Yu: Those with big faces are called faces

Guo: Let’s call this one a butt

Yu: I don’t know how to name them either

Guo: Two months have passed , Teacher Yu is tired of it, Teacher Yu is shameless

Yu: Why is it so awkward

Guo: Let’s keep raising it. After one year, the fire~~~~ has grown so big One day, Teacher Yu and I walked across from each other, and Teacher Yu cried, "How good would it be if I had to feed that dog?"

Yu: Why

Guo: "My face "Bigger than my butt"

Yu: What are you talking about?

Guo: Teacher Yu is buying clothes, let’s watch, and we’ll buy them too. Let’s buy a shirt with the teacher, a pink shirt, top With black and white lines drawn, Teacher Yu bought trousers, bright red trousers with pink lotuses and emerald green petals painted on them. Teacher Yu bought shoes, with yellow leather shoes and cyan uppers with black and white sesame seeds painted on them

Yu: I will probably be shot for wearing this outfit

Guo: I went to buy a hat with the teacher, and bought a cuckold with the teacher

Yu: What about you

Guo : Let’s celebrate

Yu: Oh, you won’t learn this anymore

Guo: Teacher Yu loves life and sports. This is worth learning. My favorite is the streaking,

Yu: Is streaking a sport?

Guo: He and Li Bin from Deyun Club, Benyou

Yu: Benyou

Guo: The two of us live close to each other. When I have nothing to do, Li Bin goes to see Yu Qian. Yu Qian is friendly and entertains me with good wine and food. After we have had enough wine and food, Li Bin comes up with an idea: "Let's run naked and bet 100 yuan. If you don't dare to go, just go." Said "After that, he went out. I ran around the community and came back. "Get the money." Teacher Yu was anxious, "I haven't run yet." Whoosh~ He also went out. Just after running half a circle, four old men from the neighborhood committee came over: Do you want face? Didn't you go out just once? Why did you come again when I caught you?

Yu: I’ll catch you again

Guo: This is all true

Yu: What a true story!

Guo: Teacher Yu loves life and sports

Yu: I don’t like such sports

Guo: I like swimming very much

Yu: That's true

Guo: Call me whenever you have nothing to do. Go swimming - no!

Yu: Why don’t you go?

Guo: Someone is peeing there

Yu: It’s so disgusting

Guo: Who can’t stop it? diabetes! , what should I do if I get caught again?

Yu: It’s so sweet

Guo: I went swimming by myself. Call me at three o’clock in the afternoon: Degang, please bring money to redeem me. I was caught peeing...

Yu: I really did that

Guo: After redeeming him, I asked him: Are you really good enough? Okay, ten thousand people were peeing in there and they didn't catch you, so why did they just catch you? "Hey, don't mention it. They were all peeing in the pool, and I was peeing outside the pool...

Yu: Why am I so careless?

Guo: Give it to me again in two days Call me, Degang, please come and redeem me again. I was caught peeing again. When I redeemed you, I said you were crazy. He said I peed in the pool this time. I just paid the fine two days ago. , I was angry, I got angry when I was anxious, and the urine that came out was yellow. This time I peeed while swimming. The person wearing the red hoop saw it and said: "Catch the plane guy!"

Yu: Is that me?

Guo: Later, we all told him that he could no longer swim in the swimming pool. Your photos were posted in major swimming pools in Beijing, and Yu Qian and dogs were not allowed in.

Yu: : I am also wanted in the swimming pool

Guo: There is really no other way. Let’s go swimming in the suburbs and find a picturesque place with spring-like scenery all year round, Huairou.

No one is coming this time, right? No one wants me this time, right?

Yu: No, let’s go swimming

Guo: Is there anyone~~~~~~~~

Yu: You have to shout Ask someone to come over and swim quickly

Guo: No one is here to take off your clothes. I took off my military coat

Yu: I came in winter

Guo: Suit

Yu: I’m wearing a formal suit

Guo: Sweater

Yu: I’m wearing something tight enough

Guo: Tie

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Yu: I'm still wearing a tie

Guo: Shirt (showing off bra)

Yu: You wait, you wait, there is no such joke, please make it clear What is this

Guo: Good back!

Yu: Why am I wearing a back jacket?

Guo: My back hurts.

Yu: If you have low back pain, it’s best to wear a back-wearer

Guo: I’ve finished taking off the top, take off the bottom: I’ve taken off my riding boots

Yu: I’m going on a horse

Guo: Take off your pants.

Three-layer warm trousers

Three layers of warm trousers

Autumn trousers

Wool trousers

In: Wear woolen trousers under autumn trousers

Guo: Rain pants

Yu: I wear rain pants

Guo: Woolen underwear

Yu: You are the only one wearing woolen underwear

Guo: This relieves the itch

Yu: It doesn’t itch without it

Guo: (Take off high socks)

Yu: Wait a minute, if this and that just now are not good on the back

Guo: Let’s finish traveling (learn from the tortoise)

歘~~~歘~~~歘~~~

Yu: What kind of posture is this?

Guo: Just a moment, okay? The sun is out, let’s go ashore and bask in your back

Yu: You bastard

Guo: Don’t beautify yourself

Yu: This should beautify that

Guo: At this moment, the three girls who came over here will allow you to come and swim. Teacher Yu was very anxious. He was naked. He couldn’t put on so many things in one storehouse. At this moment There was a bucket next to it, which was a life-saving straw for Yu and the teacher. They hurriedly blocked it in front of them. The three women came over and jumped on their feet and cursed: "You are not ashamed, you are a rascal." Teacher Yu was anxious and said, "No." "Look, do you think I'm blocking it with a bucket?" "Nonsense, do you think that bucket has a bottom?"