Introduction: "The Goddess and the Man" is a classic sketch from the Year of the Sheep Spring Festival Gala, performed by Jia Ling, Qu Ying, Sha Yi and Li Jing***. Below are the complete lines of the sketches that I collected and compiled. Everyone is welcome to read and refer to them!

(Jia Ling went home happily, turned on the TV, and Sha Yi and Li Jing came on.)

Li Jing: Linger

Jia Ling: Brother

Sha Yi: What are you doing?

Jia Ling: Watching TV.

Li Jing: What show is it?

Jia Ling: Xile Street, look at Jia Ling inside, how beautiful it is

Li Jing: Oh, we are not sorry. Na

(Nigmaiti: Jia Ling said she was happy ten times.)

Jia Ling: Hahahahahahahaha, I’m so happy, brother! What do you mean, if When you are happy, it is difficult to be happy or not. Being happy is also a day, and being unhappy is also a day. Why are you unhappy and living this unhappy day? Why are you unhappy and living this happy day? How unhappy are you?

Li Jing: Hey, why are you so happy that you say it several times in a row?

Jia Ling: Do you need a reason to be happy?

Nigmat: Yes. Reason

Jia Ling: Of course there is a reason. Are you happy? Why. (Look at Sha Yi)

Sha Yi: Who am I asking?

Li Jing: You think about it yourself

Jia Ling: I lost my wallet.

Li Jing: What’s the fun in losing your wallet?

Jia Ling: Hey, hahaha, there’s no money in it. Ha ha ha ha.

Sha Yi: Xiao Ling'er is so smart, knowing that if you don't put money in your wallet, where does it go?

Jia Ling: If you don't put it anywhere, you have no money

(Sha Yi pointed at Jia Ling with his finger)

Li Jing: Tell me something really happy

Jia Ling: Didn’t I go to participate in the draft some time ago? Choose one I have been eliminated once, and I have been eliminated once. I have never even entered the audition. This time is different. I packaged myself and changed my direction. The result is

Nigmat : Accident

Jia Ling: I am the judge

(They all stood up, Jia Ling looked at Sha Yi, Sha Yi pushed Jia Ling to Li Jing, and Li Jing pushed Jia Ling to Xiang Sha Yi)

Sha Yi: Music, stop

Jia Ling: What are you doing

Sha Yi: Nonsense Sha Yi: Participate in the talent show every day, follow It’s about eating, what a foodie on the run.

Li Jing: Where to eat, dad?

Sha Yi: How to eat today,

Li Jing: Eat during the seven days of the Chinese New Year

Sha Yi: Still There is a very long name called What to Eat

Jia Ling: Thank God the rice is here

(Sha Yi pushes Jia Ling with his finger)

Li Jing: We have such What a great show, why don’t you pick something of high quality?

Jia Ling: What’s there?

Li Jing: Singing competition.

Jia Ling: My voice is not good

Sha Yi: Dance competition.

Jia Ling: My legs are not working.

Li Jing: Knowledge competition.

Jia Ling: My brain is not good.

Sha Yi: Host competition.

Jia Ling: I can’t speak well.

Li Jing: Model Contest.

Jia Ling: No way.

Sha Yi and Li Jing said in unison: You are really good

Jia Ling: I found you two

Nigmat: Deeply affectionate

Jia Ling : So annoying, brother, I am almost thirty this year. I don’t have a job and I don’t have a partner. Sometimes when I think about it, I feel very lost

Nigmaiti and you two comfort her

(Sha Yi and Li Jing turned to the sofa, and Li Jing pulled Jia Ling away. , Sha Yi knocked on Jia Ling's back)

Li Jing: Ling'er, this life can't be so pessimistic. Just look forward, there are always many good things in life

Sha Yi: Pull Jia Ling over, yes, filter out the unsatisfactory things one by one and solve them one by one. First, you don’t have a boyfriend

Jia Ling: How to solve it

p>

Sha Yi: Second, you have no job

Jia Ling: How to solve it

Sha Yi: Third, why do you keep thinking about these useless things, even though you You have nothing, but you have family, friends, distant cousins, and third aunts in the countryside.

Moderator: Reverse.

Sha Yi: They are all waiting for you to feed them.

Jia Ling: Why do you need me to support you?

Li Jing: Of course you have to support me. How old are you? of.

Jia Ling: I can’t have children.

Li Jing: Why are you so naive in your situation?

Sha Yi: Do you know why you are not always selected in the draft? Please summarize your problem.

Jia Ling: What’s my problem?

Li Jing: Temperament problem, no temperament.

Jia Ling: Who said I have no temperament.

Sha Yi: Is this temperament? Isn’t this an airbag?

Jia Ling: (stands up) Who is the airbag?

Sha Yi: Look what I said still pops up

Jia Ling: Then what do you mean by temperament?

Sha Yi: The question of temperament How to solve it

Nigmat: The last person with temperament

Li Jing: Let’s take this as an example

(Push Sha Yi away)

Nigmaiti: Qu Ying.

Li Jing: You see, this is called temperament. Temperament is from the inside out. Different people have different temperaments

(Qu Ying catwalk)

< p> Li Jing: This is the temperament of a goddess

(Jia Ling on the catwalk)

Sha Yi: This is the air bag of a female man (Jia Ling hits Sha Yi)

< p> (Jia Ling and Qu Ying walked the show together, Qu Ying went back, Jia Ling continued, Jia Ling went back, Qu Ying came back again, Jia Ling also came back, Qu Ying returned, Jia Ling continued for 2 seconds and also returned)

Jia Ling : No, no, no, she is a model. Can I win in a competition with others?

Sha Yi: Then what do you want to compare?

Jia Ling: Comparing with words

Nigmaiti: Comparing with a New Situation

Li Jingshayi: Goddess and Man

(Music starts)

Goddess and Man A tomboy, a goddess and a tomboy

Qu Ying: I have big eyes, a small mouth, a straight nose, long legs and S-shaped arms. My name is Qu Ying.

Jia Ling: I have arms and legs, a nose and a mouth. My name is Jia Ling.

Goddess and tomboy, goddess and tomboy

Qu Ying: I am beautiful, and a group of boys cheer me on, and I am particularly proud of myself.

Jia Ling: I am heartless, and a group of boys are shouting in front of me, trying to fight with me.

---I have never lost.

Goddess and tomboy, goddess and tomboy

Qu Ying: I posted messages in the circle of friends saying that I was heartbroken. Some people comforted me, some sympathized with me, and some even got tired of me.

Jia Ling: I posted a message in the circle of friends saying that I was heartbroken, no one comforted me, no one sympathized with me, just a bunch of likes. ---I will marry whoever likes it.

Goddess and tomboy, goddess and tomboy

Qu Ying: My boyfriend and I went to dinner, and he fed me and I was so shy

Jia Ling: Me and My boyfriend went to eat, but I haven't fed him yet. I've finished eating---can you still eat your share?

Goddess and manly woman, goddess and manly woman

Nigmaiti: Announcing the results

Sha Yi: The goddess completely defeated the female man, (first referring to Qu Ying and then to Jia Ling)

Nigmat: Reversal

Sha Yi: (Hurrying to pull up Jia Ling) The goddess wins

Jia Ling: I am the goddess

Qu Ying: I am a female man

Jia Ling: I am the goddess chief agent There is a reason, right?

Sha Yi: What reason do you need to finally win?

Nigmat: There is a reason

Sha Yi: Uh (mentioning Jia Ling clothes) for a reason, look at those few steps just now, breaking out of the shackles of traditional concepts. Where others fell, they got up. You should sleep a little longer. This kind of spirit of enjoying happiness has broken people's expectations of the goddess. The concept of : What size clothes do you wear?

Qu Ying: 175

Jia Ling: 175

Li Jing: Same, let’s talk about these legs, although they are in length. He defeated you, but you surpassed him in width. She is one inch longer, and you are one inch thick and one inch blessed.

Qu Ying: How many inches is this?

Li Jing: What a blessing this is

Jia Ling: I don’t believe this at all

Everyone said in unison: Who believes it

< p> Li Jing: I’m all sorry

Nigmaiti: You all believe it

Everyone (turning around in a hurry): Well, we all believe it

Jia Ling: Ah, haha, I am a goddess, I want to be famous, I need a team to help me,

Everyone: Let us help you

Li Jing: What do you lack< /p>

Jia Ling: I need an agent

Li Jing: This agent is not easy to find

Nigmat: Come on

Li Jing: Come on, I studied accounting and I happen to be an agent

Jia Ling: But you still have your own job

Li Jing: (Take out your phone) Wait a minute Yes, hello to the leader, I am Li Jing. I asked you to resign during the Chinese New Year. He agreed

Jia Ling: He has died

Li Jing: That is also the acquiescence.

(Music starts)

Jia Ling: Brother

Li Jing: Linger

(Embracing affectionately)

< p> Jia Ling: Keep it in mind (put your hand on your chest)

Li Jing: OK (put your hand on your chest)

Li Jing: What is missing

Jia Ling: Still have it Lack of a stylist

Qu Ying: Oh Linger, your shape is too difficult

Nigmat: Come on

Qu Ying: (Suddenly stood up (Get up) But I can create it. I am a fashion magazine editor. I will create your shape for you.

Jia Ling: (holding Qu Ying’s hand) Sister, why don’t you find time to fall in love?

Qu Ying: (pat Jia Ling’s hand) Wait (pick up Cell phone on the table) Hey, Yanzu, it’s Chinese New Year, let’s break up.

(Pause for 2 seconds) The points are over

(Music starts, Qu Ying opens her arms)

Jia Ling: Sister, don’t give it to me (walks to Qu Ying) You are a prodigal, okay, remember I remember it in my heart (pulling Qu Ying towards the sofa)

Li Jing: What else do you lack?

Jia Ling: Lack of money

(Music plays, everyone looks at Xiang Sha Yi, Sha Yi looked at Nigmat, then turned to look at everyone and nodded, stood up) Waiting (taking out his mobile phone while walking) Hu Ke, it’s Chinese New Year, let’s sell a house

(Joyful music plays)

Sha Yi: How come my music is not sad anymore

(Everyone walks towards Sha Yi)

Jia Ling:

Selling a house is a good thing, great, I am famous, I have a team, I am a goddess