Various quotes by Japanese designer Yohji Mimoto are circulated in China, among which this one is the most widely circulated: You are invisible, and you will only understand yourself when you bump into something else and bounce back. I like this sentence very much. We realize our strengths and weaknesses through feedback from the external environment. The coach is a mirror in front of the child, providing timely and positive feedback on the child's true current status, allowing the child to understand his current position and status, see his own blind spots, and realize what he needs to learn and improve. Responding is precisely the ability that best embodies the role of a coaching mirror. When responding in coaching techniques, you need to pay attention to the following aspects!

First, the response must be true and based on facts

Second, the principle of timely and effective response must be grasped

Third, the response must highlight key points

Fourth, the response should be based on giving constructive opinions rather than judgment. What the coach responds to is experience, which is the true feeling at this moment, not the standard of good or bad, let alone the judgment of good or bad, right or wrong. As a coaching parent, the focus of attention when responding should always be on the child, not on yourself. The response to the child should be your own experience, not your own judgment.

The purpose of the response is to allow the children to hear the meaning of the response, see their own status through the mirror given by the coach, and discover their own problems, rather than to prove that the coach’s parents’ own views are correct , and the child is wrong!

Fifth, respond with positive language

Practice: We use the wrong response countless times in life. For example, my child wants his mother to read with him, but I always I stared at the phone and was immersed in it. It wasn't until my daughter ran away angrily that I realized that I didn't respond to my daughter in a timely manner. Recently, my daughter has been criticized by teachers frequently. She cannot keep up with her studies and is tired of studying. She has no interest in learning, especially homework. She gets very excited when I remind her to do homework. "Feifei, did something unpleasant happen at school recently that made you dislike doing homework?" My daughter ignored me, remained silent, and kept playing with the toys in her hands. At that time, I really wanted to get angry and ignore me completely. I realized that I did not focus on my daughter. I only spoke highly of my daughter as a parent and forgot to achieve a state of selflessness, so I immediately adjusted, "It doesn't matter. Let's talk and listen. Mom, can we face it with you and solve it together?" Don't worry I'll lose my temper." My daughter started to relax and looked at me and said that the teacher always commented on her and she felt stupid. I realize the seriousness of the problem. The captain said that children between the ages of 6 and 12 are in the formative period of social self-concept, and any comments from important others will affect the child in the future. I immediately responded positively to my daughter, "No, my daughter is very smart, just a little bit shy of being great! You are younger than your classmates in the class, so you will be a little slow. Mom, can you accompany you to catch up with them or even surpass them?" "Well, I love you, Mom."

Homework: Tonight, my daughter took the initiative to see her study plan for the week and asked to listen to animal nursery rhymes, and we listened to it all night. We designed a small scene, with the animal nursery rhyme Brown Bear as the background music. I took out the animal coloring book from the picture book I had prepared before, and a box of pens. We colored the animals along with the music while humming, which not only exercised my daughter's hearing, but also Let her do what she likes to draw, and to her surprise, her daughter painted everything correctly!