1. What is the event that causes temper every time? Is there a pattern? That is, find the "emotional trigger point." Our emotions are related to the current events, but if the intensity of emotions is seriously mismatched with the nature of the events, that is, "small things have lost their temper", it may be that the old emotional memory has been activated, so we need to sort out what profound experiences have created the "trigger point" during our growth.
2. Be aware of your own needs behind your emotions. Emotion has the function of reminding and protecting oneself. If you are offended or attacked, strong emotions are human instinct to express anger and shock each other; Emotion may also remind us that the important needs of life have not been met, and only by dealing with this part can we gradually calm down.
3. The occurrence of emotions is also related to self-belief, interpretation and understanding of events. Satya's iceberg theory holds that human behavior is explicit, while what is lurking under it is "internal" that has been suppressed for a long time and ignored by us. Uncover the secrets of the iceberg, and we will see the desires, expectations, opinions and feelings in life, and see the true self.
4. grumpy may still be a learned behavioral response. That is to say, important people around you (usually parents and other caregivers) often have a bad temper to deal with events, set a bad example for their children, and learn it every day.
5. grumpy or related to the accumulation of emotions. There is no immediate expression of dissatisfaction on trivial matters, which suppresses one's feelings. If such repression accumulates enough, it will erupt in a concentrated way. Therefore, we should learn not to suppress, compromise, please ... respect and safeguard our feelings.
If bad temper has brought troubles to your life, you need to find ways to adjust and make changes. For example, try to take a deep breath to adjust your breath when your temper is about to break out, and quickly pull away from the situation that causes emotions. In addition, it is worth mentioning that being grumpy is not without its merits. People who have no grumpy ability at all are prone to depression.
recommend the psychology book "nonviolent communication".
Actually, grumpy is an expression of certain emotions, such as anger, irritability, depression, etc. Losing your temper is a behavioral manifestation. There are quite a few aspects that you can start with to change your grumpy. Let me introduce you a few, and you can choose which one is more comfortable according to your own situation.
First, you can do some meditation and meditation training. Meditation is a way for people who have the idea of practicing themselves to know themselves, understand themselves and calm themselves down. By observing their breathing and feelings, they draw attention to themselves from the outside, and at the same time teach you ways to deal with their emotions, which can increase their wisdom and is a very good choice.
second, understand the causes of emotion and its operating mechanism.
For example, cognitive emotional therapy, also known as A.B.C theory, mainly means:
event (an event that causes your emotions, called A)
belief (how do you interpret it, called B),
behavior (your behavior, called C)
For example, you have an appointment with a friend to go shopping. This is event A
For this matter, if you think she may have forgotten her mobile phone, so she didn't receive the call, this is called B, and your mood is relatively calm, then you may wait (act)
If you think something happened to her, will there be an accident B, you may be anxious and nervous, and you may call her family or go to her home (c) < Different interpretations will lead to different behaviors, so the event is neutral. The key is how we interpret it. If we want to change our behavior, we can adjust our beliefs. This is a simple example of cognitive behavior, and we can record ourselves in this way and slowly adjust < P > Third, we can get in touch with some spiritual things. Spiritual things have done a very good job in changing our beliefs and adjusting our emotions. I recommend you to read Zhang Defen's book Meeting.
With regard to changing temper, reading books can broaden our horizons and is beneficial to improving temper. If you want to make a real change, you must make up your mind and practice hard. You will find that it is a very comfortable thing to control your temper [heart] [heart] [heart ]
Reading books for grumpy women is conducive to emotional stability, but one premise is, how to read? In my opinion, we need to read with awareness.
My suggestion is,
1. When reading books, you can take a small notebook with you, and when you meet good sentences, or sentences that you think move you, you can copy them down.
2. You can stop to think when you read the part that touches your heart, which is called awareness. Only in this way can reading focus on the present.
3. The above shared suggestions on reading methods. If you feel grumpy, you can choose some American literature, or books full of Zen and philosophy.
4. Personally, I recommend books by writers such as Lin Qingxuan, Bi Shumin and Zhang Defen.
If you are grumpy, read more Buddhist books. You can read the Heart Sutra, Shurangama Sutra, the miracle of mindfulness, the second blossom, the Diamond Sutra, listen to soothing light music, do yoga, and meditate to keep your body and mind at peace. When you encounter something that makes you irritable, count 1 numbers before you speak, or take three deep breaths before you speak. You can go to parks and forests to feel the beauty of the surrounding environment and nature, and let yourself calm down. Learn to slow down, learn to be soft, learn to see clearly and look down on everything, and learn to be tolerant. Learn to love
There are many reasons for being grumpy.
(1) If it is congenital, it is recommended to go to a hospital and ask a doctor to help you recuperate, which should improve.
(2) If the emotional anxiety is caused by various reasons, you can adjust your mentality appropriately, and suggest a light diet, read more books, or find a psychiatrist.
you can choose your favorite reading materials. I recommend How to Control Your Emotions. You can control your life by mastering your emotions.
if love
let me complete your happiness-La Traviata by Dumas
Philosophy and knowledge of the soul-Stendhal's Red and Black
Beyond love, I see flowers blooming in spring-Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice
I love you. It's none of your business —— A Letter from an Unknown Woman by Zweig
It's just like a play —— william shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
True Life
Love and Marriage —— lev tolstoy's anna karenine
Beauty and strength growing up in the war —— margaret mitchell's Gone with the Wind
Thinking with philosophy —— Milan. A Theseus-style legend-Hugo's Les Miserables
Women with bad temper should experience more, do more things, and read more classical Chinese, especially Oracle Bone Inscriptions's books.
Read prose, prose poems, children's literature, such as Old Things in the South of the City, and some reference books, such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement. Good things will nourish children.
My answer may not help you.
Women who have a bad temper at home read the wordless gobbledygook published at home and your tired RMB ... No woman is born with a bad temper and is forced by life. ...