1. There is a wolf baby. It does not eat meat but only eats vegetarian food when it is born. Its parents are very worried. Finally, one day they saw a wolf baby chasing a rabbit, and the parents were very happy. Then the wolf baby grabbed the rabbit and said: Hand over the carrot! ...

2. This diver has a very high degree of difficulty. He first turns and rolls for a week, then does a forward somersault for a week and a half, and then does a backflip for a month.

3. There is a person climbing a rock. When he When we were almost climbing to the top of the mountain, there was a big bad wolf holding a burning candle and trying to burn the rope. The man said something, and the big bad wolf blew out the candle. The man said: HAPPY BRITHDAY!

4. Once upon a time, there was a village near the sea, and the villagers made a living by fishing. . .

Many, many years passed like this~~~

Suddenly one day, a strange fish came into the sea. It ate the villagers who went out to fish and had eaten it several times. Personal. . . This strange fish had six eyes and could fly, so the villagers called it the "Six-Eyed Flying Fish"

Seeing that the six-eyed flying fish was killing people unscrupulously and no one could cure it, the villagers were worried. I was all anxious, what should I do if this continues~~~

At this time, a young man came to the village. His name was very special, "Ai". Ai said that he could control six children. Eye flying fish kill. . .

The villagers were very disdainful. . But the next day, Ai came back carrying the body of the strange fish. . .

The villagers were shocked and asked Ai "How did you do it?"

Ai said "Ai really needs courage to face the six-eyed flying fish"

5. There used to be a hide-and-seek club, but their president has not been found until now...

6. A little rabbit went fishing in the pond, but failed to catch it for a long time... ...

The next day, the little rabbit went fishing in the pond again. After fishing for a whole day, he still didn’t catch any fish...

On the third day, the little rabbit still persisted. Fishing in the pond, still nothing...

On the fourth day, the little rabbit went to the pond to fish. A fish jumped out of the water and roared at the little rabbit: "You use carrots again?" If you are a bait, I will beat you to death!”

7.…After doing homework for a long time, I turned on the radio and a gentle voice came out: “…If the skin color is red and the hair on the face is fine and soft, then it means that Very healthy..."

Hearing this, I couldn't help but touch my face, look in the mirror, and smile again. I looked healthy and cute.

At this time, the announcer said again: "Okay, audience friends, this is the end of our "Pig Raising Knowledge Lecture"..."

8. A certain primary school, Two students were quarreling. A said: "You...keep calling, and I'll call someone and I can find someone!"

B said: "You...keep calling." !I don’t believe it...”

Then A really ran to make a phone call, and when he came back he said a harsh word: “You will know how to die in 30 minutes!”

At this time, B was extremely nervous, but there was nothing he could do about it. 30 minutes later, the school broadcast: "Student B, you have a visitor, please go to the Academic Affairs Office." Although he was very scared, he thought he was studying Office, it should be fine. So he went to the Academic Affairs Office, and a young man with blond hair walked up to him and asked, "Are you so-and-so B?"

B: "I am..."

" Sorry for the long wait, this is the 10 pieces of Hawaiian pizza and chicken you ordered, 5,300 yuan."

9. A German, a Frenchman, and a Japanese are going to work in a mine.

The boss is an American. He said to the German: You have a good physique and you are responsible for the coolie work.

Say to the French: You said you are an engineer and you are responsible for the mining plan.

To the Japanese, he said: You are very thin. You are responsible for supplies.

Then the next week, they started working.

A few days later, the Germans and the French discovered that the Japanese were missing. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work.

When the Germans started working, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted: "Surprise!" Jay Chou Why? Jay Chou said, milk tea, I like Youlemei.

11.---Hello, please call a car. I'm at the XX intersection, wearing a black short skirt...

---Okay, where to?

---Uh... to the knees...

12. A butterfly has broken wings, but it is still flying. Why?

Because it has a strong will

13. There was a man who was having an infusion in the hospital and started laughing wildly as he was losing it.

People asked him why he was laughing.

He said: "I laugh a little..."

14. A little girl called the radio station to ask for a song for her mother

Host: Why do you want to order songs for your mother?

Little girl: My mother works very hard every day and can’t take a good rest on Sundays. She has to find various exercise books for me.

The host was very moved and said that she was very sensible and a good child of her mother

So she asked what song she wanted.

Little girl: Why bother women?

15. A, B, and C went on a trip together, and A caught a cold...

At night, everyone slept in the same bed. A is sleeping in the middle.

In the middle of the night...A sneezed hard, and B and B's whole face was covered with A's crystals.

B and C: You will inform us next time...

Half an hour has passed

A: Pay attention...

B and C After hearing this, he quickly got into the quilt and made sure that there was no connection with the outside world...

Then A farted

16. There was a prince who was cursed and could only speak once a year. words, but he likes a princess very much, so you endured five years without speaking. After saving up five words, you came to the princess and said: "Please marry me!"

The princess said in shock: "What?"

17. After retiring, a programmer decided to learn calligraphy. He bought a good Hu pen, rice paper, and ink, dipped it in thick ink, and wrote in one go: hello, world

18. Once upon a time, there were two trash cans. They raced, and ran, and ran, and ran for a long time. Then one of the trash cans stopped and said, "We are trash cans, why are we running?"

19. When Xiao Ming did something wrong, his mother asked him to kneel in front of the Guanyin statue and repent, saying: If Guanyin forgives you, you can eat.

Five minutes later, Xiao Ming sat down at the dining table. Go up, his mother asked strangely: Didn’t I say that Guanyin forgives you before you can eat?

Xiao Ming said: Yes, I knelt there and said to Sister Guanyin that I was wrong, I want to eat, and then Sister Guanyin followed with her right hand I said, OK

20. A woman took fake money to buy breakfast. . .

The vendor was annoyed: “Sister, it’s okay if you give me a fake one, at least it’s a seal, but yours is actually a painting!

Take a step back and say, It doesn’t matter if it’s a painting, it doesn’t matter if it’s ten yuan or five yuan, you can also give me a seven yuan painting.

Seven yuan, at least it has to be in color! Yes, you actually use a pencil!

Forget it, black and white is fine, but you can’t draw with toilet paper! The hand feeling is too bad

You have to use scissors even with toilet paper. Cut the edges evenly. This one is torn by hand. The raw edges are too exaggerated.

Okay, I can tolerate the raw edges, but if you tear it into a rectangular shape, this triangular shape is too unreasonable1 , Are there any dishes? --

In chemistry class, the teacher explained the relationship between solvents and solutes: "A certain solvent can only dissolve a certain solute.

For example, if you eat one bowl of rice, then another, and you are full after the third bowl, can you still eat it? ”

A student asked: “Are there any dishes?” "

2. Calculation check -

During the exam, a student took out a dice and shook out the answers to ten multiple-choice questions. At the end of the exam, he suddenly took it out again and shook it again. The invigilator finally couldn't bear it anymore: "What are you doing? "

The student replied: "I am checking the calculation. "

3. Where to go--

One day, a lady called for a taxi. Lady: "Hello! I'm at a certain intersection and I want to take a taxi. ”

Driver: “Then what are you wearing?” Miss: "I'm wearing a white top and a blue skirt." "

Driver: "Where? ”

Miss: “Up to the knees.” "driver :". . . . . . ”

4. People in Egypt and India do not use toilet paper. After they responded to the call of nature, do you know what they were like? They used their left hands to clean, and then rinsed them with water. Look, how dirty it is, but every time I pass by a certain building and see the long queue to buy Indian pancakes, I hide my face and walk over with a smile. You know, the hard pancakes can be shaken with one hand. You can't get up.

5. You can tell people by looking at their legs -

In an animal exam at a certain university, the exam professor announced the test question: There were ten birds placed in front of the classroom. , each bird is covered with a cloth bag, and only the legs are exposed. Please observe the legs of each bird carefully, and then tell them their common names, habits, categories, etc.

The college student observed the legs of each bird, but the birds seemed to be no different to him. The more he looked, the more annoyed he became. He stood up and said to the professor: "This exam is so boring. Who can identify birds by looking at their legs?"

The professor was surprised by his words and deeds and asked quickly: "Which class are you in and what is your name?"

The angry college student walked to the podium, pushed up his trouser legs, and yelled at the professor: "Guess, guess!" "

6. Beggars and Stingy--

A beggar came to the door of a stingy man's house to beg.

Beggar: "Please give me a Small pieces of meat, cheese or cream. The miser: "No!" ”

Beggar: “Bread crumbs will do, too.” ”

Stingy guy: “No!

Beggar: “Then give me some water to drink!” ” Scrooge: “We don’t even have water anymore. "

The beggar was angry: "Then why are you still sitting at home? Come and beg for food with me! "

7. Prisoners and horses--

A cavalryman was unfortunately captured in battle.

"We will kill all prisoners. "The enemy leader said to him, "However, because you performed bravely and admirably in the battle, I can kill you in three days and satisfy your three requirements before that. Now, you can make your first request.

The cavalryman said without thinking, "I want to say something to my horse." "The leader agreed. So the cavalryman walked over and whispered something to his horse. After hearing this, the horse roared and galloped away. At dusk, the horse came back with a beautiful girl on its back. That night , the cavalryman spent the night with the girl. The leader exclaimed: "What a magical horse!" "He said, "However, I still want to kill you. What's your second request? "

The cavalry asked to speak to the horse again. The leader agreed, so the cavalry whispered to the horse again, and the horse roared again and galloped away. At dusk, the horse came back again, This time the girl on his back was even more sexy and touching than the last time. That night, the cavalryman and the girl spent another happy night.

The leader was greatly impressed: "You and your horse are eye-opening, but I will still kill you tomorrow. Now you can make your last request." The cavalryman thought for a moment and said: "I want to talk to my horse alone." The leader felt strange, but he nodded and left with his entourage. Only the cavalry and his horse were left in the tent. The cavalryman stared at his horse, suddenly grabbed its ears, and said angrily: "I say it again, bring a brigade, not a woman!"

8. Quick Answer---

A man went to the restroom at a highway rest stop. There was someone in the first room, so he entered the second room. As soon as he sat on the toilet, he heard someone next door say: "Hey, how are you? Is everything okay?"

The man felt that it was weird to talk to others while going to the toilet, but in order not to be rude, Still reluctantly answered: Not too bad!

Then, the person next door said: "What are you busy with?" "

The man was shocked and even more surprised, but he still replied: "I am going to Taichung on a business trip.

At this time, he heard the person next door say: "I'll call you later." There is a psycho next to me, and every time I talk to you, he rushes to answer. "

9. Interval station ---

A passenger said to the flight attendant: "I want to go to Doncas"

The flight attendant said: "This trip The train can't stop in Kas on Tuesday, but, man, when we change tracks in Don Kas, the speed will slow down. I'll open the door and you can just jump out. Although the car doesn't go very fast, you have to run forward after you jump out, otherwise it will get you caught in the wheels. "

When the train arrived at Donkas, the carriage door opened. The man jumped off the train and ran forward. Because of his nervousness, he ran to the doors of the first two carriages. Right there At this moment, the carriage door opened, and a conductor dragged him into the carriage again.

The conductor said: "Man, you are so lucky, we have this train on Tuesday." It's non-stop in Doncas! "

10. Brag ---

A farmer boasted to others about how big his estate was. He said: "If I drive around my estate, That would take a week. "

An audience member said sympathetically: "Yes, I also had such a broken car. ”

11. Our multiplication tables are very good... Several scientists were having a meeting together. Someone asked what 11 times 11 equals. The American scientists wanted to use their feet to count, but the Chinese scientists immediately answered 121. The American scientist immediately criticized seriously: How can you be fooled by mathematics? Science is a very serious topic. Then he took out his calculator and pressed it for a long time. Sure enough, it was 121. He couldn't help but be surprised: Damn, you are really accurate.

12. No matter what kind of car a person takes, he must sit by the window. One day, he was going to take a plane. When he was getting his boarding pass, he told the lady that he wanted a seat by the window, and the lady told him. No more.

After boarding the plane, he found a window seat and sat down. Suddenly a man came and said to him, this is my seat. He said that I like this seat. , I just wouldn’t let him, and the man begged to no avail, so he said angrily: “Okay, you can fly the plane!” Turn around and leave!