Ye Shengtao

Once upon a time, Andersen wrote a story called The Emperor's New Clothes, and many people wanted to read it.

This story tells that an emperor likes to wear new clothes best, and he was cheated by two swindlers. Liars say that the clothes they make are so beautiful and have a magical power that anyone who is stupid or incompetent can't see them. They weave cloth first, then cut and sew, all with their hands empty. The emperor sent his ministers to see it several times. The minister didn't see anything, but he was afraid that people would say they were stupid, and even more afraid that people would say they were incompetent, so they all said they saw it. It was really beautiful. One day when new clothes were made, the emperor was about to hold a big gift and decided to wear new clothes and go out. Two swindlers asked the emperor to put on new clothes. No one who served next to him saw the new clothes, but they were all afraid that they would be called stupid and even more afraid that they would be incompetent, so they cheered and praised them together. The emperor also said that he was very proud and went out naked. The people along the road also seemed to see very clearly and unanimously praised the emperor's new clothes. But children just love to tell solid stories, and one of them shouted, "Look, this man is naked." When everyone heard this, you looked at me and I looked at you. They all laughed and finally shouted, "Ah! The emperor is really naked! " The emperor listened carefully, knowing that he had been taken in, as if he had poured a bucket of cold water. However, as things were like this, he was too embarrassed to go back and get dressed, so he had to bite the bullet and walk forward.

what will happen in the future? Andersen didn't say. In fact, there are many things in the future.

The emperor walked on, pretending to be proud, and his body was so straight that his shoulders and back ached a little. The courtier who pulled his empty skirt behind him knew that he was doing something very ridiculous and wanted to laugh; But afraid to laugh, I had to bite my lower lip tightly. In the escort team, everyone stared at the ground and dared not squint to see their companions; I am afraid that when I look at each other, I can't hold back and burst out laughing.

People are not trained as courtiers and guards. They never thought of biting their lips or staring at the ground. Since the story was broken, they burst into laughter.

"haha, look at the naked emperor!"

"hee hee, it's crazy! What a shame! "

"pencil necked! How ugly! "

"Scared, look at his arms and thighs, like molting chickens!"

when the emperor heard these words, he was ashamed and annoyed. The more ashamed he became, he stopped and told his ministers, "Didn't you hear these disloyal people gossiping there? Why not! My new suit is so beautiful that only I can wear it; Put it on, I look more dignified and noble: don't you all say so? These blind bastards! I will wear this suit forever in the future! Whoever deliberately speaks ill is a bad guy, rebel, catch him at once and kill him! Just, just, just like that. Go quickly and announce that this is the law, the latest law. "

ministers dare not neglect, and immediately ordered their people to play the trumpet, called the people together, and announced the new law in the harshest tone. Sure enough, the laughter stopped. The emperor felt comforted and began to move forward again.

But just after walking out of the distance, the voice of joking quickly changed from subtle to loud.

"Haha, the emperor didn't ..."

"Haha, the skin is really dark ..."

"Haha, look at the ribs ..."

"Damn it! Never new ... "

The emperor couldn't bear it any longer. His face was yellow and purple with anger and he shouted at his ministers," Do you hear? "

"Yes," the ministers replied with trembling.

"Have you forgotten the law just announced?"

"No, no ..." Before the ministers could finish, they turned around and ordered the soldiers to "arrest all the joking people!"

there was chaos in the street. The soldiers ran around like wild horses, intercepting the fugitives with long guns. People fled in all directions, some fell down, and some jumped out from other people's shoulders. Crying, screaming, it's a mess. As a result, forty or fifty people were arrested, including women and children. The emperor ordered that the law be executed on the spot, in order to let people know that his words were uncompromising, and no one would dare to break the new law in the future.

from now on, of course, the emperor can't wear other clothes. In the court, when he returned to the harem, he was always naked, and he often touched this and that with his hands, which counted as finishing the wrinkles of his clothes. His concubines and courtiers couldn't help laughing; After a long time, I developed a skill. When I saw his black and thin body and his affectation, no matter how ridiculous it was, I pretended as if nothing had happened. Instead of laughing, I seemed to believe that he was wearing clothes. In concubines and courtiers, this skill is indispensable; If not, then don't talk about status, it's almost impossible to protect your life.

But everything between heaven and earth is inevitably an exception, and some of them fall into trouble because of occasional carelessness.

One is the most beloved concubine of the emperor. One day, she accompanied the emperor to drink. In order to please the emperor, she filled a glass of bright red wine and sent it to the emperor's mouth. At the same time, she sprinkled jiao and said, "May you drink it in one gulp and wish you a life as long as heaven and earth!"

The emperor was so happy that he opened his mouth and drank it in one gulp. Maybe I drank too fast, coughed, and a lot of wine gushed out and landed on my chest.

"ouch! Get your chest dirty! "

"what? Chest! "

The princess woke up at once, her pink face turned gray, and she trembled and said, "No, it isn't; It's the clothes that are dirty ... "

" It's no use changing your mouth! Say I'm naked, ok! You are stupid, you are disloyal, and you have broken the law! " Angry, the emperor turned to his courtiers and said, "Take her to the executioner."

another minister is very knowledgeable. Although he barely practiced that skill with his companions, he felt like a hairless monkey when he saw the emperor sitting naked on his throne. He is always afraid that when he is not careful, he will laugh or say something wrong and lose his life. So he assumed that he would go back to serve his old mother and resign to the emperor.

The emperor said, "This is your filial piety. Very good. I allow you to resign."

the minister thanked the emperor, turned around and went down to the temple, as if he had taken off a big cangue weighing 5 Jin from his shoulder. He was so happy that he said to himself, "Great this time, we don't have to see the emperor without clothes."

when the emperor heard the word "clothes", he asked his servants, "What did he say?"

The courtiers looked at the emperor's face. They were very strict and dared not lie, so they told the truth.

the emperor's anger spurted out like a fire. "Good! So you want to go back because you don't want to see me. -then you will never want to go back! " He immediately told his courtiers, "Take him to the executioner."

After these two things, people are more cautious in the imperial court or the harem.

But ordinary people don't have the skills of concubines and ministers. Whenever the emperor comes out, he can't help pointing, talking and laughing when he sees his pretentious air and his dry-wood body. The result is brutal killing. More than 3 people were killed when the emperor sacrificed to heaven; During the parade, more than 5 people were killed. During the tour of Beijing, because there were many streets and more people joking, more than 1 people were killed.

Too many people died, which was terrible. A kind-hearted old minister couldn't bear it, so he tried to stop it. He knew that the emperor always refused to admit his mistake; If you say he's wrong, the more he says he's right, the result will still be your own loss. The proper way is to let the emperor put on clothes voluntarily; If you can do this, there will be no joking, and there will be no killing. He stayed up for several nights, trying to figure out how to get the emperor to put on clothes voluntarily.

the way is figured out. The old minister went to the emperor and said, "I have the most loyal meaning and I am willing to tell the emperor." You have always liked new clothes, which is quite right. When you put on new clothes, you will look even more dignified and glorious when a button shines. But I haven't seen you make new clothes recently. There are always many things in the country, so forget it? Your suit is a little old, so ask the seamstress to make another one and change it quickly! "

"old?" The emperor looked at his chest and thighs and touched them up and down with his hand. "No! This is a magical suit that will never wear out. I want to wear this suit forever, didn't you hear me say? You want me to change it, because you want to embarrass me and make me unlucky. Just look at you, you have always been good, and you are old. I won't kill you, go to prison! "

That old minister is a whitewash, and the number of murders has not decreased at all. Moreover, because the emperor can't stop talking and laughing, he is very upset, so he stipulates a stricter law. This law is like this: when the emperor passes by, the people are not allowed to make a sound; Make a sound, no matter what you say, catch and kill at once.

After the announcement of this law, the average adult thinks that it is too much. It is ok to say that ridicule is a crime. How can you whisper that other things are also crimes and kill them? Everyone gathered together, lined up, walked to the front of the palace, knelt on the ground and said they had something to see the emperor.

The emperor came out with a little panic on his face, but pretended to be calm and shouted, "What are you doing here? Do you want to rebel? "

Most mature people dare not lift their heads, saying repeatedly, "No,no.". If the emperor said that, we would never dream of it. "

The emperor was relieved and immediately looked dignified and noble. He touched the skirt that he didn't actually have, and then asked, "So what are you doing here?"

"We ask the emperor to give us freedom of speech and laughter. Those who dare to say and laugh at the emperor are indeed guilty of the most heinous crimes. Damn it, it is not wronged to kill them. But we will never do that. We just want freedom of speech and laughter. Please ask the emperor to abolish the new law! "

The emperor smiled and said, "Is freedom yours? If you want freedom, don't be my people; To be my people, you must abide by my laws. My law is an iron law. Scrapped? Scared, there is no such thing! " With that, he turned and walked in.

the average adult is afraid to say anything. After a while, a few people looked up slightly to peek, and it turned out that the emperor had already left; There is no way, everyone has to go back. From then on, everyone changed their minds. As soon as the emperor came out, they all closed the door and sat at home, and no one went out to watch.

one day, the emperor took many courtiers and soldiers to the palace. The streets that passed by were empty and empty, and no one was there; Every door is closed. There are only the footsteps of wiping, wiping and wiping in the street, just like secretly marching at night.

But the emperor was still suspicious. He suddenly stopped and cocked his head to listen. There seemed to be a voice in the wall, and he shouted sternly to the ministers, "Didn't you hear it!" "

The ministers also cocked their heads and listened carefully at once, and quickly replied timidly:

"Yes, it's a child crying."

"Also, it's a woman singing."

"There was a laughing sound-like being drunk."

The emperor's anger flared up again. He shouted to his ministers, "What a bunch of useless things! Have you forgotten my law? "

Ministers repeatedly promised a few "yes", turned around and ordered the soldiers to open all the doors with voices inside, regardless of men and women, regardless of size, and took them out and killed them.

something unexpected happened. Soldiers opened the doors of many homes and broke in to catch people; Men and women of many families, big and small, rushed out. Instead of fleeing, they all rushed to the emperor, stretched out their hands and tore the emperor's flesh, shouting loudly: "tear off your empty clothes!" Tear off your empty clothes! "

this is really a chaotic and funny scene that I have never seen before. The man's strong hand held the emperor's arm like a dead branch, and the woman's white fist hit the emperor's black and yellow chest. Two children also crowded in and grabbed the black hair under the emperor's armpit. People were surrounded by wind and rain, and the emperor ran around and was turned back; He wants to squat down again, learn from hedgehogs and shrink into a ball, but he can't. The most unbearable thing is that his armpit itches painfully, so he has to clamp his arm hard, but he can't do it. He was so anxious that he shrank his neck, frowned, lifted his nose and grinned, which was simply ugly and made everyone laugh.

When the soldiers came back from various families, they saw the emperor's unlucky appearance, like a monkey stung by a group of wasps, and they forgot his usual dignity, and laughed with everyone.

The ministers were a little alarmed at first. When they heard the soldiers laughing and secretly looked at the emperor, they couldn't help laughing.

after laughing for a while, it suddenly occurred to the soldiers and ministers that they had broken the law with the people. In the past, the people laughed at the emperor and helped the emperor punish the people. Now they are on the side of the people. Look at the emperor, red and purple, shivering into a ball, like a chicken drenched in water, it is really funny. You should laugh when you are funny, but the emperor is not allowed to laugh. Isn't this the asshole law? Thinking of this, they also shouted with the people: "tear off your empty clothes!" Tear off your empty clothes! "

what do you think of the emperor? He saw the soldiers and ministers also fall to the people's side, no longer afraid of him, just like a big stone falling from the sky and hitting his head, and he collapsed on the ground as soon as he became soft.