I just fell out of love and it’s so painful! What should I do?

Why do lovers in the world always have to break up and get back together endlessly. At this time last month, I also started I have gone through the process of falling out of love, so I can understand your current mood. I really want to help you, but I still remember the pain of this month. I tried to save this relationship, but it turned out that I failed, and I also lost it. I have scars all over myself, and my heart is full of pain.

But what I want to say now is that since you have fallen out of love, don’t miss the past too much, especially the happy days. You have to adapt to the days without him. , to get back your past life alone. You can get together with friends, or you can go out of the house to relax in the places you liked to go to in the past. When you return to the free life of the past, you will realize the happiness of being alone in the past.

In addition, it is indeed a good way to start another relationship, but remember to find someone who truly loves you, rather than looking for someone hastily.

Eating at home is very difficult. It’s amazing that you won’t gain weight no matter what you eat. All the fat I gained from eating a lot of meat and fish throughout the year was lost as soon as summer came! So after falling out of love, I became more beautiful! I think this is the benefit of falling out of love! The bad thing is that I am more afraid of love than before. I am hurt so much that I don’t know how to recover? Sometimes a person sheds tears in the dark night, can’t sleep, watches cartoons, and embroiders unfinished cross-stitch before falling in love~~

You go buy a few bottles of wine and sit down with some friends to drink. Then go take a shower and have sex. Go to a beauty salon, get a haircut, or dye your hair. Went to a disco in the evening and drank a few bottles of wine. When you see a beautiful girl, dance with her. Don't tell her that you are broken in love. Go home in the morning, take a shower and eat something. Lie on the bed and smoke a cigarette. Think about the happiest thing yesterday, count the stars at last, and go to sleep. So the facial pain is gone, you might as well give it a try, it happens to me every time! It works so well that you don’t know who she is the next day.

In other words, in the first few days after falling out of love, you will not want to do anything. I was not in the mood to do anything, all I could think about all day was her memories. I don’t understand why she suddenly told you 88, right? Maybe she has a reason not to tell you, maybe it's your own reason. In short, time is the best medicine for falling in love, and maybe her shadow will always be in your heart. I can't erase it, but we broke up after all. You must forget it even if you can’t forget it. You won’t have to do it all over again.

To find yourself, you have to do what you want to do and do whatever you want

Don’t do it. What you should do is not to think about her deliberately, otherwise you will be even more heartbroken, you know? Besides, you are an introverted boy, so you have to adapt yourself to do everything well, and don't let your ideals fall because of a momentary lovelorn. Boys must be ambitious and don't fall for love. The mentality is very important. In short, everything will be fine after the storm, so don’t fall in love for the time being. Do the ideals you pursue. Okay? I think this is right. It’s so painful to fall out of love, it’s really painful. What should I do?

Don’t live anymore. You can’t bear this little pain. You still have the nerve to talk about falling in love without being with me. What should I do? It’s so painful... < /p>

How to deal with yourself after falling out of love

1. Emergency prescription

1. Vent your emotions appropriately: Don’t let grief, frustration, and anger accumulate and gnaw at you Food for our bodies and minds. If you want to cry, cry as much as you want. If you want to scream, find a place where there is no one around and scream as hard as you can. If you want to tear it apart, close the door and tear it vigorously. If you want to talk, talk to a close friend. But when venting, be sure to pay attention to the target. Don't randomly find anyone to be a bad guy, lose your temper at them, or hurt innocent people.

2. Stare ahead, don’t look back, and maintain dignity: don’t go to him, don’t contact him, don’t be nostalgic for the past. Although I will make mistakes (everyone makes mistakes), although I have shortcomings (everyone has shortcomings), I still have my own dignity, and I want to maintain my dignity, look forward, and move forward!

3. Act like you don’t care: Although it is impossible to really not care, saying so in action will affect your heart. You can think like this: "He doesn't care anymore, why should I care?" or "The best way to deal with a heartless person is to live well." or "You want to see me sad and painful, but I won't let you." All is well.” – these thoughts can help us avoid falling into the vortex of negative emotions.

4. Eliminate his traces: filter everything he gives you one by one. You can keep the useful things, and throw away all the things that remind you of the past, so as not to make yourself sad or angry. Don't go to places where you used to go, so as not to offend the scene and make you feel depressed.

5. Take out a pen and paper and list his advantages and disadvantages respectively: If he has more disadvantages than advantages, then why should you care about him? If what you feel bad about is the feelings you have given, then forget it! Spare yourself. If his good qualities and bad qualities are equal, then don't worry, you will meet someone who is more attractive to you than him. If he has only advantages and no disadvantages (or very few disadvantages), then you have to circle one of the following:

(1) He (she) is perfect. (Is it possible?)

(2) You are blind.

Either you don’t really understand him, or what you love is an illusory ideal image (either created by you or fabricated by him). This kind of love is unreal, not solid, and cannot be maintained in the first place. It’s better to break up as soon as possible!

6. Participate in activities, be with others, and talk about interesting topics: parties, get-togethers, outings, dances, watching performances, playing ball, and other dynamic activities involving many people. Participate with an open mind and try your best to Join other people's conversations, discover humorous and interesting topics, laugh along with everyone, and your mood will change to a cheerful one.

7. Leave to travel: join a tour group or go to a foreign country or place with a group of friends to play or do research. The cultural customs of a foreign place will make you feel fresh and new. The horizons are broadened, new feelings arise in the heart, and the old worries shrink, go away, and fade away.

8. Keep in touch with old friends: During the relationship, you "valued sex over friends" and didn't care about the life and death of your old friends. Now that you are "single" again, you still don't take this opportunity to "surrender and repent" to your old friends. ? Who can understand you, not blame you, tolerate you, and care for you like an old friend? With them, you don't have to hide, you feel comfortable, and there is no self-denial and doubt after a breakup, which helps you regain your true colors.

9. Focus on work and research: It is easy to be distracted when you are in love, but now you can finally focus on work and schoolwork. Turn grief into strength, work hard, you will have unexpected achievements, and other honors will follow. This is the so-called gain and loss: when God closes this door, he will open another door for you.

The purpose of the above "special medicines" in the early stages of lovelorn is to avoid adulteration and channel negative emotions, so as to help us not to be swept away by the emotional storm. However, subsequent steps such as psychological construction, emotional balance, and re-recognition of self-needs require self-regulation and encouragement in the years to come.

I hope you can get out of the haze soon. cry. . . . . Having a crush is so painful, what should I do?

/The most difficult thing for a person to defeat is not the person you like?

But yourself.

Think about it, you are actually like this. ． I can’t defeat myself/I always have to compare everything. ． Think about it, is it worth it?

While comparing, your courage to pursue and perseverance to persevere will also disappear//so you are doomed to failure. ． ．

Now you are at work. But I’m still thinking about these. ．

I think this is your fault. ． ． Why are you still thinking so much now? Today's money and family conditions don't mean anything. What is needed is that we can find a lot of money with our own hands. Can live a very happy life. ． This is what you should pursue. ． Since you like it. I've always had a crush. Then think about it, is it worth it? ． ． If you pursue it. In the past few years, I have already agreed. ． ．

At least you won’t have such low self-esteem now //////

Friends must first believe in themselves. I can raise her with my own hands. ． Believe. ．

Only in this way can you have enough courage. And pursue it without fear of hardship. ． This is how we can succeed. ．

Don’t look down on yourself. ． Always compare everything/when comparing people, someone will always lose. ． In this peaceful era, we all hope that everyone will be rich, so think about it. ．

Shouldn’t you stop comparing now?

Be bold? You have no money now. Family reasons. None of that determines your future.

．

If that's true. Then the ancient emperors would not have failed.

Rich people will not become poor. //But what about reality? Often think the opposite. ． ．

Adjust your mentality and go bravely?

Opportunities are often given to those who have illusions and move forward boldly.

Bless you, what should I do? Secret love is so painful

In fact, you just know that you like him.

Analyze him.

I used to call you often to tell you that I have a crush on you

He may be invisible on QQ because he is a busy boy who likes to play games and so on, so he can’t stay on QQ all the time

But you never If you don't take the initiative to talk to him, it's easy for him to think that you don't want to talk to her. I suggest you take the initiative. You have never expressed a good impression of him. How can he take the initiative and let others take the initiative? You have to give him a chance, right?

" He walked over and turned around after walking for a while. I thought he saw me, so we didn't say hello or talk. "It actually doesn't matter. You said it. He may or may not have seen me."

He may be in a bad mood, not talkative, or there may be something urgent...

After school started, he invited you to dinner and played with you. It can be said that you have a certain status in his heart. Of course, maybe he just regards you as an ordinary friend, but as a bystander, I judge that he is interested in you, both intellectually and emotionally, but you just haven't given him a chance.

In fact, if you If you want to be nice to him, it's easy and you don't need to say it out.

If you have nothing to do, go to him and let him take you to play. Let's go to self-study together, go for a walk together, and treat him to a meal.

Invitation from beautiful women There are very few people who don't give face. It doesn't take too long. He will notice something. If he likes you, he will take the initiative. If you don't take the initiative, he is too unmanly. Then let's change someone else

Weeds are everywhere in the world. Shy green hehe, these are angry words, remember to persist

I wish you get what you want as soon as possible! Long-distance relationships are so painful, what should I do?

I also broke up with my girlfriend. Let’s break up. You didn’t mention it, but he did too. My girlfriend and I actually broke up on the same day and at the same moment, haha. . I'm in love, I'm in so much pain, what should I do?

I am a girl, and my parents did not agree with me and my previous boyfriend. I won’t go into the specific process, but I want to share my thoughts at the time and hope to help you.

I think you really love her. If you love her, you must give her the right expression that she can accept.

At that time, my parents collected my phone number and asked me to contact him, but I really liked him, but I was in a dilemma, I couldn't let go of him and my parents couldn't let go of him. It’s so confusing! Because I couldn't let my parents down, I just hoped that he could work hard and meet the standards required by my parents, and then come back to me! Although he looks heartless on the surface, he is really reluctant to give up in his heart.

So if you really love her, don’t make it difficult for her now and let her return to her parents! Make her a promise and work hard! Work hard during this period so that she can have material security in the future, and then she must withstand the temptation of other women so that she can have emotional security! In short, do your best to change yourself! If she loves you, she will believe this promise and wait for you. If she doesn't love you and doesn't wait for you in the end, I think you won't regret it, because you really worked hard for love!

I will give you a Shakespeare poem, hoping it can help you

I will never admit the union of two true hearts

There will be any obstacles; love is not included True love,

If you turn the wheel as soon as you see someone change,

or leave as soon as you see someone turn.

Oh, never! Love is an everlasting lighthouse,

It stares at the storm but remains unmoved;

Love is also a star that guides the lost boat,

/p>

It stands tall until the end.

If what I say is wrong and it is proven to be untrue,

Even if I have not written poetry, no one has ever truly loved. I'm broken up in love, I feel so painful and sad, what should I do?

Put your mind on work and spend your free time with friends. It will be fine after a while. There are no obstacles in life that you can't overcome. I'm in love, it's so painful, so heartbreaking, what should I do, what should I do?

Brother, your experience is very similar to mine, except that my experience lasted for 5 years. I know you are in pain and sometimes desperate, and I understand what kind of woman he is, but the accumulation of years of experience makes you unable to let go. I hope she can come back to you like before and that you will forgive her even if she sleeps with someone else.

I was like this before.

But the key is that she has changed and is no longer the woman who was sweet to you in the past. She didn't lose you, you just lost her. Maybe you used to be in love like a model couple, but that feeling will never come back. Her heart is already full of someone else.

Stop recalling those sweet moments and stop looking for those vows of eternal love. What you are looking for is not memories but pain. He has already sorry for you,

You have to be sorry for yourself!

She has delayed you for 3 years. Find the focus of your life again. What should I do if I fall out of love for the sake of my own happiness? It feels so uncomfortable and painful

Self-treatment of the trauma of falling out of love

Life Submersion Period

1. Be aware of it

1. Scan the whole body. Which part is the most painful and tight? Focus on that area, take deep breaths, let out the pain and tension, and inhale peace and love. Do it over and over again until you feel like you are releasing negative energy.

2. Physical and mental settlement method

Allow yourself to release some anger and sadness. For example, beat the pillow, bury your head in the pillow and scream, tear up newspapers on the floor, write letters and burn them, play crazy music and sing loudly, twist your body and dance, cry and yell, run, and go to the gym to do aerobics. Dance, practice boxing, do kundalini breathing and dynamic meditation, etc. Let yourself get through the initial anger and panic. Next, calm down and become aware of the emotions that arise. Is it anger or sadness? Looking at their struggle and curling up, how old are they? Don't run away, get along with them. (Some people do not need a strong release, it depends on each person’s emotional index and attitude at the time)

2. Accept it

1. Say to yourself in your heart: "This The relationship has come to an end. I accept my disapproval. I once had a good time, but it has passed. I accept my disacceptance."

2. Click between the eyebrows with your middle finger. The third eye (ajna chakra) and around the double eye frame.

While tapping, say to yourself in your mind: "Although I have been deeply hurt, I accept and love myself unconditionally." At least seven times.

3.

3. Face it

1. Say to yourself in your heart: "I feel this feeling of being deceived and betrayed (lost). I am willing to accept the pain and let go of my need for it." Take a few deep breaths.

2. "I see that I have feelings of worthlessness, and I am willing to accept them and let go of my need for them." Take a few deep breaths.

3. "I am willing to accept that my love for him is conditional. I am not a saint. I give and expect to receive something in return." Take a few deep breaths.

4. Deal with it

Examine beliefs and treatment:

1. What attracted the other person to my life in the first place in this relationship?

2. What personality traits of his are familiar to me? Is it from dad? Or mom?

3. What is my relationship pattern with my dad? What is my relationship pattern with him*?

4. What does he love most about me? What do I love most about him?

5. What can he least tolerate about me? What can I least stand about him?

6. What are the emotional landmines between us? They get into arguments every time they touch each other.

7. Am I still the one he loved back then?

8. Am I lost in this relationship?

9. What part of myself have I lost?

10. In addition to blaming him, ask yourself: "How did I give him so much power to hurt me without self-love?"

12. He left, except for the pain, What can I do for myself today?

5. Let it go

(If you still cannot forgive, please pause at this stage and go back to the first four steps and do it again thoroughly)

1. In Ask yourself: "What do I need to learn from this person? What does this mean to me?"

2. Please understand that this person who hurts you, his behavior is to ask you to love him He, maybe you can't do what he expects, and he also experiences his own pain, which has nothing to do with you. His departure comes from the unhealed pain in his past, from the place in his heart that has not been opened to bring in light and love.

3. Learning to forgive is important, because every time you play a negative memory in your mind and make yourself feel victimized, you are reinforcing the other person's mistake, constantly punishing yourself, and creating future scripts.

6. Take a few deep breaths, breathe in the darkness, and breathe out the light; take a few deep breaths, breathe in the light, and breathe out the darkness. Then breathe in the fear, breathe out the love; breathe in the love, breathe out the fear, alternate several times until you feel comfortable all over. Ground yourself in unconditional love and the pain will disappear.

Life Reconstruction Period

1. Pray to the Universe

Prayer

"Dear God! I want ( ), A life of health, abundance, and balance in mind, body, and spirit.

A happy and beautiful relationship. Thank you for removing the beliefs and patterns that stand in the way of these things and doing what you think is best for me. Come and fulfill it" (Source: Zhang Defen)

2. Rewrite the thinking equation

Please take a good-quality pen and write "all the past things" in a notebook. The negative experiences have all gone away from me. I am willing to take full responsibility for my life. I am willing to change my life beliefs that I do not deserve it. I am worthy of being loved. I deserve to have a partner who truly loves me. I will meet With a partner (husband, wife) who understands and cares for me, the power of life is in my hands. The emotional pain in the past has been transformed into fertilizer that nourishes my soul. From today on, I choose to love and be loved consciously. ”

3. Accept the arrangements of the universe

Do nothing, see nothing, listen to nothing, just be silent and live every moment with awareness for seven days. . (Just be yourself, here-and-now)

4. Take action

Exercise, meditate, entertain, find friends, expand social life, dress yourself up, treat yourself well, plan stage of life goals. (Have Fun!)

Letting yourself live happily, live well, live abundantly, and eat healthily is the best prescription for healing.

When you are in hell-like pain, you are often closer to your soul than at any other time, listening to what your inner voice is saying?

I wish every wounded soul can grow in the midst of injury, be reborn in the midst of destruction, thrive in the face of adversity, and let the pain be transformed into a beautiful gift of life!

Note: If you are stuck at a certain stage and have resistance, please relax and say to yourself: "I am willing to give myself more time, take my time, don't rush. I will get better in all aspects every day." It gets better!" Until you can continue to complete the following steps, give yourself maybe a month, maybe a year to recover.