The last article talked about the first part of the book "Self-control": willpower = "I want to do"+"I don't want to do", and the three characteristics of self-control are: fading with time, trainable and limited. Next, combining with practical actions and some methods in the book, I elaborate the skills of training self-control through nine songs.
We have an understanding of self-control through its three characteristics. However, before training self-control, we need to know what factors affect self-control. As the saying goes, "Know yourself and know yourself, and win every battle".
(1) Exhaustion When the human body is in a state of exhaustion, the attention will drop, and at this time, "Gollum ego" is more likely to overcome "Gandalf ego" and lead to out of control. Because the human body has a biological clock, it will affect willpower at the physiological level. For example, more than 2 pm is the most exhausting time for the human body, and even the relevant research is accurate to 2: 47 pm. Everyone has their own biological clock, so we need to adapt to local conditions. However, when you find yourself most tired in the biological clock, beware of the temptation of "talking about yourself".
(2) pressure (? Pressure） ? It seems that everyone has a heavy responsibility and the pressure is everywhere. Stress makes the string of spirit tense, just like pulling a bow too hard, it will break the bow and arrow. Breaking a jar is an act of surrendering under heavy pressure.
(3) Dopamine? Dopamine makes people feel happy, which makes the strings of our willpower slack, and the hero is also sad about beauty. Under the action of Hormone, the rock-solid will will collapse instantly.
(4) Desire? When it comes to desire, it seems that some people can't get on the table or hide from the sun. However, it is really necessary to "clear the name" for desire. Desire itself is not good or bad, but the direction of desire is good or bad. Just like the desire for promotion and salary increase is motivated, and the desire to rob a bank is a bad motive.
(5) Infection willpower can also be infected like a disease. Mainly through imitation, emotion and temptation. We do a lot of things in life by imitating others. The influence of people around us will erode willpower like ants swallowing elephants, and it can also build a wall of will.
in Exhaustion, stress (? Under the influence of Pressure and Dopamine, I will do something "I don't want it". Driven by Desire, it is easy to do what I want to do. After being Infection, I tend to do what I want to do. Therefore, the formula of willpower can be iterated as follows:
? Willpower = "I want to do it" (D)+ "I don't want it" (E,P,Dh)+ "I want to do it" (I)
It has been said in the last article that self-control can be trained like a muscle. Through 9 songs, 9 tips for training self-control are given. I believe that accompanied by music, "willpower muscles" will be strengthened in action.
The first song: Unintentional Sleep
Although the song named "Brother" Leslie Cheung is Unintentional Sleep, the first skill to train self-control is to ensure sleep. Because rest is the best way to deal with fatigue and stress, and it is also the basis of training self-control. Without good energy and physical strength, what can we do to raise the banner of self-control In addition, sleeping for 8 hours a day is not scientific and needs to vary from person to person.
No matter how many hours you sleep, it is an effective performance of training to ensure that you are in a full state after getting up. Nowadays, playing mobile phones before going to bed makes it easier for people to "unintentionally lose sleep". Therefore, if you can ensure sleep, it is the beginning of self-control.
The second song: Meditation
Nicholas Tse's Meditation helps people's negative emotions, which is the second skill to train self-control: meditation practice. There are many music or related courses about meditation practice, and the most important thing is to start practicing, because meditation practice can be practiced almost anytime and anywhere, walking, standing, sitting or lying down. If, due to excessive stress, it is difficult for several sheep to fall asleep when they talk about thirst, why not try meditation practice?
The third song: Record
Zhu Lijing's Record is to record beautiful things, and the third skill to train self-control is to record your own behavior. By recording your behavior every day, you can form a kind of supervision on yourself and see the results at the same time. For example, in order to prevent indulging in playing games, you can record the game time every day. In addition, turning off the game music or turning down the volume is a good way.
The fourth song: Delay
The song "Delay" by Australian singer Kate seems to be able to delay the time by immersing in the sweet voice. This is the fourth skill of training self-control: delay. When faced with the attraction of various discounts, the temptation of delicious food and the "addiction" of cigarettes, let yourself pause first, and don't buy or take out cigarettes immediately, thus delaying the process. Gradually train willpower by delaying gratification again and again.
The fifth song: "Deep Breath"
Yu Quan's "Deep Breath" is not only used for preparation before action, but also the fifth skill to train self-control: deep breathing. It seems that deep breathing is a panacea to overcome tension and relieve stress. By observing the smokers, we find that the process of smoking is a regular deep breathing action. Therefore, in addition to the stimulation of chemical components, smoking is also a kind of deep breathing regulation. Taking a deep breath can calm people down, and it is also a time to gather self-control forces.
The sixth song: Song of the Everyman
When faced with the situation of "breaking the jar", if you hear "You and I are mortal, born in this world" in the Song of the Everyman, there will be a kind of comfort in your heart, which is the sixth skill of training self-control: self-understanding. Self-understanding and forgiveness when you lose. There seems to be some chicken soup, but it can help people avoid dwelling on the past when they are depressed.
The seventh song: Indulgence
"Only when you are full can you lose weight" is a typical indulgence. In Sandy Lam's Indulgence, it is mentioned that indulgence will bring heartache, so the seventh skill of training self-control is not to indulge yourself. Words such as "I can't lose weight until I'm full", "So what?" and "Let's talk about it tomorrow" are all green lights for my indulgence and overdraw tomorrow. "oh, let a man of spirit venture where he pleases, and never tip his golden cup empty toward the moon!" should not be an indulgence, but a kind of enjoyment and rationality.
The eighth song: Romeo and Juliet
The tragic love story between Romeo and Juliet has produced the "Romeo and Juliet effect" in psychology, that is, the more the lovers are resisted by the outside world, the more they love each other. Pursuing beautiful love is an instinctive desire of people, and forcibly cutting it off is counterproductive. Dayu's wisdom in water control lies in persuasion, and he can also borrow desire. Therefore, the seventh skill of training self-control is: grooming desire.
The ninth song: "Meet yourself in the future"
Think about your 1-pound appearance, and the bright future of "a thin body can solve thousands of worries" will motivate you to implement the slimming plan. Without the ability to meet your future self in time and space, you can imagine your future self and compare the current state, and you will find out what is unsatisfactory and what needs to be adjusted. This kind of motivation with the help of the future is also the ninth and last skill to train self-control: imagine the future and compare with the present.
Nine songs sing nine skills to train self-control: ensuring sleep, meditation practice, recording behavior, delaying, taking a deep breath, self-understanding, not indulging yourself, dredging desires and meeting yourself in the future. In the training day by day, I will meet myself with self-control in the future!
what methods do you have to train your self-control?