Related interests: 8 years of emotional counseling practitioner
After facing the loss of your ex, I know that you are very uncomfortable and confused, and you are also very confused and don’t know what to do, so I hope to find someone Reliable counselor/team to repair relationships.
If you want to get out of a broken relationship and want to repair the relationship with your ex. I hope I can use my professional experience to help you. According to our experience, the first step is to find a way to calm yourself down, explore "what you want to repair your relationship for" and perceive your inner needs.
Is it because this person is worthy? Is it because I need to grow? Is it because I'm breaking down and need help? Or is it to escape pain and find a sense of security within one's control?
You need to see clearly whether this relationship is worth repairing. If you think it is necessary, then find effective and non-deceptive relationship repair counseling services.
Important reminder: Don’t feel so painful about losing your loved one now, and then go to a counseling agency to ask whether this person is worth keeping and whether there is any way to repair the relationship with him.
Because if you ask a recovery agency this question, almost all agencies will say this: You must fix it! And 90% or even 100% of it can be saved.
They don’t care about how you feel in your heart, they only care about whether they can make money from you.
Indiscriminately telling you that "every relationship can be repaired" in the screenshot will mislead the seeker into thinking that "every relationship can be repaired successfully." There are also suppressive words such as "your thoughts are immature", which suppress the self-esteem of the consultants and intend to establish their own authoritative image in this way. This may make many seekers grasp at straws, thinking that as long as they After paying the money, any relationship can be repaired!
I even hesitated to borrow money to obtain this kind of "service". In the end, I lost both my life and money, which was doubly sad.
As a love coach who has completed thousands of marriage and relationship repairs, I would like to say this to my friends who are experiencing breakup anxiety and sadness:
Let go of your control and obsession with the outcome. Only by paying more attention to yourself and the parts you can control can you repair your relationship most efficiently.
1. What kind of relationship has a high success rate of repair and is worth saving?
Although there are many reasons for breaking up, they can be summarized into the following two categories
1. Practical reasons?
2. Reasons for getting along
1. If you break up due to practical reasons
This means that it is not that the relationship between you broke down, but that you or he was crushed by reality and separated out of powerlessness and anxiety about reality. , this situation is more difficult to recover and less worthwhile.
A few examples:
① Will be away from home for a long time
Difficulty of recovery: ★★★
Worth level: ★★
The two main reasons why most long-distance relationships break up are nothing more than the following two points:
1. When you are vulnerable, you can’t find anyone, and there is nowhere to put your loneliness;?
2. One party’s insecurity makes both parties anxious.
Long-distance relationships are difficult to manage and maintain, and because it is difficult to create the interaction between two people meeting each other, it is very difficult to repair. Unless it can be confirmed that after the relationship is repaired, each other can meet at a relatively stable frequency, and they can fully trust each other and have the ability to deal with their own insecurities and anxiety, which requires practicing and learning emotional management skills.
So when I receive consultation for long-distance relationship repair, I always ask two questions:
1. "Do you have a plan to end the current long-distance relationship?"?
2. "Are you willing to improve your emotional management ability?"
If one of them answers no, I will advise them to give up.
②Different plans and directions for future life
Repair difficulty: ★★★★★
Worth level: ★★★★★
In this case, it is not a question of difficulty of repair, but a question of whether it is worth it. For example:
My ex wants to stay in a certain city, but I want to stay in another city. My ex wants to get a job after graduation, and I want to take the postgraduate entrance examination for further studies. My ex wants to get married and have children, and I want to realize my career ideals. My ex wants Dink, and I want children. My ex doesn’t want to get married, he wants to get married and have children.
In terms of life planning, I am both a life coach and a love counselor, so I know very well how important goals and love are to the future of our lives.
It is easy for those seeking help to become confused on this type of issue. On the one hand, they are worried that they are on the wrong path in life, and on the other hand, they are suffering from the pain and suffering of a broken love.
This kind of emotion can easily drive us to make wrong choices because we are afraid of losing, to make a bad choice that will cause chaos in our future life, and then get angry at our ex, and finally lose love and the precious things in life. Time, this time was three times more unpleasant.
So when you encounter this kind of problem, a good life coach will be like a mirror to help you see clearly what you most desire and need in your life. An excellent consulting coach can even Help you activate the energy of love and gain the best of both worlds, a double harvest in love and life.
The ability to love can give people confidence
③The wrong family background, financial strength or strong opposition from parents
Difficulty of repair: ★★★
Worth Level: ★★
The situation of not being in the right family, breaking up due to financial strength or strong opposition from parents are also practical problems that are difficult to deal with.
Sometimes because of these practical problems and no communication between two people, they decide to break up. In fact, it is not worth repairing.
Firstly, the lack of communication shows that neither party has the ability to solve practical problems and resolve conflicts between the two parties. Secondly, if the relationship between the two parties can be easily defeated by external factors, it means that both parties are not independent enough. powerful.
But if you are the one who broke up with you, and then you regret it and want to save the other person, you can still work hard to repair the following, because this is your own consciousness, and you want to try your best to save it. I want to make myself stronger, and I hope that I can improve my ability to resolve conflicts by repairing this relationship, and my ability to be independent in my family of origin, so that I can become better and more independent.
After all, sometimes we need to experience loss before we can understand what we really want in our hearts. We must allow ourselves to have the opportunity to choose again. If this is the case for you, you may be as follows: This case I repaired can give you some inspiration.
④Making principled mistakes
Difficulty of repair: ★★★★★
Worth level: ★★
If the other party makes it A mistake in principle caused the breakdown of your relationship. If you want to repair it, you still have to see whether it is worth it.
If the fetters and involvements of both parties’ families, relationships, children, property, etc. are relatively deep and extensive. This is repairable and generally repairs well.
But if you have made a principled mistake and want to repair it, the most important thing at this time is to repair the damage first, and then restore the relationship.
There are many principles. Mistakes can cause extremely serious harm to the family and relationships, such as: severe domestic violence, gambling, drugs, intentional infliction of various types of severe psychological and physical trauma to children/elderly members, etc.
If your partner has already done this, I advise you not to have any illusions or a holy heart, thinking that you can save the other person, so as to save the relationship with the other person.
Let the other person learn to bear the consequences of their actions, which is the best way for you to love him at this time.
There is an old saying: People are not sages, and no one can make mistakes.
We rarely change ourselves and become "sages" just because we swear an oath or make a promise. Otherwise, the whole world would be filled with saints, and there would be no domestic violence or family tragedies in the world.
Sometimes, only by allowing others to make mistakes can you better accept yourself and your imperfections.
If you are unfortunately in this situation, the following case I have done may give you some inspiration:
2. If you break up because of the reasons for getting along
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Breakups caused by incompatibility are often caused by differences in outlook caused by the influence of the original family, such as living habits, eating habits, subconscious sense of security, etc., which lead to quarrels, conflicts and misunderstandings between the two parties. Most people will focus on the conflicts and quarrels themselves, thinking that an apology or something will be the end of it, but the essential root problem is communication issues.
Communication ability involves what we usually call immature emotional intelligence, which leads to discomfort, tiredness, cold violence, and even "power struggles" when both parties are together. For example, what is the toilet seat at home? Do you want to open it or close it...
If you don’t know how to communicate emotions, if you don’t know how to express your feelings in the correct way of expression, if you don’t know how to love each other by entering into your own and the other person’s heart, you are The root cause of emotional breakdown!
For example:
① When two people communicate, they always discuss things, and even suppress each other because of different opinions?
② Both parties are not good at dealing with conflicts. How to communicate, adopt an avoidance state, and accumulate a lot of resentment?
③ Feel that you have been giving, but the other party does not feel it, causing the other party to feel that you do not love him?
④ Do you often complain to the other party, lose your temper, and ask the other party to change? The two of you often express how tired you are?
⑤When it comes to emotional topics, the other party is often silent, and you are always anxious and insecure. ?
⑥Both parties feel aggrieved by saying hurtful words or doing things that hurt the other party?
⑦Misunderstandings that lead to negative impressions due to poor communication?
⑧I always want to force him to get married, consciously or unconsciously
If we separate because we don’t know how to love, it will be the most tragic tragedy in life.
Fortunately, this type of problem is the least difficult to fix in my opinion, and the most worthwhile type of fix.
Often once the repair is completed, the relationship between two people can often embark on a sweet road.
Difficulty of repair: ★
Worth level: ★★★★★
Why is it most worth repairing?
Because if you don’t learn how to love each other this time, then when you meet your next boyfriend or girlfriend, you will have an epiphany immediately?
If we can’t swim, we still can’t swim even if we use 100 swimming pools.
Now that the divorce rate is so high, you have enough ability and confidence to make sure that the person who will marry you, raise children, and spend the rest of your life together will love you and be loved by you. Human?
This breakup is just a reminder to you: the way you got along with the other person and the way you loved him was not the way the other person wanted, otherwise the other person would not have separated from you.
So you need to learn to make the other person feel true love.
So what is worth repairing means that you can seize this opportunity to make amends and let yourself learn to truly love.
Why is it said that the difficulty of repair is very low?
Because the main core factor of not letting the other person feel love is related to ourselves, which is controllable.
As long as you learn how to truly love each other, express it in a way that makes everyone comfortable, and let the other person feel your love, you can make the other person come back.
What’s more important is that you will not suffer any loss if you learn how to do it.
When the people around you can continue to grow under your influence, then you must have become a heartthrob who loves cars and car accessories. Your ex may be more nervous than you. , I started thinking about how to get back together with you every day.
Learning true love and mastering the ability to love will not only heal ourselves and make us full of strength, but also allow the other party to take the initiative to approach you and take the initiative to retain you.
I have followed and coached thousands of repair cases, among which hundreds of relationships required long-term follow-up. Almost all of them were exes who took the initiative to stay, and 98% of the couples did not quarrel again within half a year of getting back together. Over the shelf.
2. If you are struggling with whether to repair the relationship with your ex, I will give you a relationship repair test worth 100 yuan!
Let me help you enter a four-dimensional way of thinking now, that is, looking at you now from the future. This can help you better decide whether to repair the relationship with the other party, ensuring simplicity and efficiency!
1. Are you just missing him now, or do you miss his presence in your life? ?
2. What if this relationship is successfully restored? Will there be any changes after you get together? ?
3. What did you feel or learn when you were separated? Does this answer make you want to be closer to him more, or does it scare you a little? ?
4. Can you imagine life without him?
The first feeling is always right!
You can write down your answer using your first impression, and I will analyze it for you.
3. How to identify real and effective relationship repair services/agencies?
Do the relevant team organizations or individuals have professional certificates? Corresponding professional "training experience"? For institutions, I won’t go into detail on whether they have a business license within the scope of business, etc., because this is a basic skill.
If you don’t even have these most basic things, let alone ability and consulting ethics, it will be a fraud in minutes!
About identifying fraud: What do you think of the Shanghai police arresting 69 emotional recovery masters? Can an emotional recovery master really save a broken love?
Next, I will focus on four details that are likely to cause you to be ignored or even defrauded, and are closely related to the professionalism of the recovery service and other information that you care about most!
1. Does the contract have a refundable agreement?
Reliability: ★★★★★
No matter how fantastic the other party brags, I tell you 90 , 100 can be recovered, or even a week can be recovered, etc. If it is not implemented on paper, it can only mean that you trust him very much, but he does not trust you that much.
A fair and reasonable refund agreement is based on the well-being of the consultant.
Although the emotional industry is newer than the psychological industry, I think counseling should abide by the corresponding counseling ethics, and the first code of counseling ethics is: putting the well-being of the counselor first.
Even if it is psychological counseling, if the consultant still has no improvement after coming for a period of time, then he should think that he is not capable enough and help the consultant consider referral or suggest that the consultant find a second one on his own.
On the other hand, a fair and reasonable refund agreement not only contributes to the professional capabilities and attitudes of our consultants, but also helps to improve the level and reputation of the consulting industry.
2. Whether the contract has a confidentiality agreement
Reliability: ★★★★
Confidentiality agreement is one of the criteria for testing whether a consultant is professional, because this It is also a sign that the counselor’s well-being comes first.
Some clients who had sought help from other consulting agencies came to me to complain. They said that they had been cheated, but they did not dare to file a complaint or get a refund because they were worried about those agencies asking for help. His ex-girlfriend reported the matter.
If there is no confidentiality agreement! That is not a qualified consultant or consulting agency! ! !
3. Are there telephone consultations and professional and clear analysis reports?
This is the standard that tests whether a consultant’s business process is professional!
In the formal first consultation and assessment, the core reasons should be found based on the current situation of the counselor and the reasons for the breakup, and long-term plans and short-term goals for the counselor to restore or repair the relationship should be made.
I see that many people like to use text for consultation. In fact, text consultation is not very effective.
Because the perspective of the parties concerned is relatively limited, the reason you think broke up may not be the real reason. I easily discovered this when doing phone consultations. Many consultants came with reasons that they thought were important at first, but after seeing the whole relationship clearly, they suddenly became enlightened and found the original relationship. The reasons are entirely different from the truth.
Many colleagues who do emotional counseling do not have the ability to conduct deep inner life coaching conversations or psychological counseling. They only rely on text information and work based on the matter level, which is only on the surface of the iceberg that only contains 4 information. Doing work cannot create any possibilities.
So telephone consultation is a relatively good way. Both parties can express and receive smoothly. This will help the consultant truly feel your communication style and discover the emotional pattern behind you.
Many times after I have a phone call with a counselor, I can understand how his ex feels. This can provide very targeted and core coaching strategies.
Many times, the reason you think you broke up, or even the reason proposed by the other party, may not be true. The real reason lies in your feelings. Therefore, consultation must at least be conducted over the phone.
If a counselor/recovery agency cannot conduct a phone or face-to-face consultation with you, it is unprofessional.
4. Are the prices and services in the contract transparent?
Reliability: ★★★★
The most common feedback received from people seeking help is that they were “sold” "Type" emotional institution maliciously increases prices midway. Halfway through the service, they said that this service requires additional money, or that it is too difficult and the service needs to be upgraded.
This kind of organization induces you to pay at a very low price at the beginning. When you think you are getting a big deal, you don’t know that this is a sales trick, and there will be more fees waiting in the future. You pay.
The most common one is to recommend that you pay for a third-party intervention (two-way service), which means you need to persuade your ex through another person. Such services are expensive (more than five figures) and the results are not proportional to the fees. I once had a client who spent more than RMB 50,000 to upgrade two-way service at another agency before coming to me. As a result, all contact information was blocked instead of being able to be contacted.
Think about it: Suddenly a stranger calls you and advises you to get back together with your ex. Not to mention whether you will answer the call or not, even if you do, can you still continue chatting with him?
Using a third party to exert pressure will only be harmful to recovery!
Why is it useless?
You can read this answer: Is the two-way docking method of emotional agencies to restore love reliable? Will the other party notice and become more repulsive?
5. Is there a complete recovery case? ?
Reliability: ★★★★★
There are a lot of redemption theories on Zhihu, and I believe you have read quite a few of them, starting from tens of thousands of words. Anyone can talk about theory. You can read it for a day or two and change the nouns. You can also assemble your own theory and write a eloquent theoretical paper of several thousand words.
How did you actually do it?
Customers pay your bills. No matter what kind of customer they are, they all have their own theories.
If it doesn’t work out, it’s the customer’s problem.
If you succeed, it will be your own achievement.
A great man once said that you can tell whether it is a mule or a horse by slipping out.
So! ! ! Practice brings true knowledge!
Are there actually any complete counseling cases that you can share?
A complete case (with the consultant’s information hidden) not only proves whether your theory is useful, but also tests whether a consultant’s consultation process/ethics is formal and effective, and whether the consultant’s feedback is helpful to the client. Producing positive effects can be seen under the sun.
If there is no complete progress of case counseling and only screenshots of the consultant's positive feedback, it can basically be judged that this is a marketing consultant.
What if you want to seek emotional help?
Then I must recommend myself to Jigme Emotion!
In 2019, I wrote a book, "The Way to True Love: An Intimate Relationship to the Heart," which has helped many people enter comfortable and heart-warming relationships.
In 2020, I proposed a brand new concept of "recovering with love", using the way of love to recover my ex. This is also different from the cookie-cutter techniques and routines used by recovery agencies, such as disconnection, reading information, posting on Moments, and delaying recovery techniques.
We use coaching-style counseling to activate the ability of love in the seekers step by step, and personalized to break through the limitations of the counselee's emotional ability and ability to love, just like playing a game, every step of growth helps The counselee can more effectively master the ability to love and be loved. Together, we will create the most suitable recovery plan for you, so that the other party can reconcile with love step by step.
This places high demands on counselors. Counselors must know how to love others in order to activate the love in others.
It is my mission in life to bring China’s love education to a milestone, and Jimei Emotion’s vision from the very beginning is to become a Grand Slam Emotional brand recognized by users, the industry and the country.
I have been cheated on contracts before, so I know that I cannot let down everyone who believes in me.
So when I was helping others recover, I broke the rules of the consulting industry and clearly stated the "refundable agreement" in the contract.
When there is a "refund principle", our service will be under pressure, because when the service is not good, customers will choose to refund. This will further promote the improvement of consultant services.
I have always believed that after you create a reputation, customers will automatically come to you. Some of my clients are recommended by previous clients, and there are no benefits such as referral fees or discounts from friends.
On the other hand, I found that many people don’t want to redeem themselves after halfway through recovery, or they are impulsive when they choose to redeem themselves in the first place. And when you don’t want to recover, you want to give up, but recovery agencies and tutors on the market are basically non-refundable. As long as you pay, you can’t get it back.
This gentleman renewed his subscription after successfully redeeming himself. Later, after our relationship became stable, we no longer needed our services, so we chose to end the service early, and I also refunded a portion of the money to him in accordance with the contract.
So I highly recommend you to come to Jigme Love Education Center, which is safe, effective and reliable.