10 psychological secrets of online dating that you don’t know

Nowadays, the Internet is becoming more and more developed. Computer networks and mobile phone networks are now developing explosively. The Internet has become inseparable from people’s lives. , the Internet will also bring a lot of interactive behaviors, and people's interactions have formed many phenomena, such as online chatting, online dating, online marriage and love, etc. These have also formed economic and industrial love, so let me reveal to you 10 of them. A psychological secret.

Psychological research has clarified the people who date online, their motivations and the strategies they adopt, while also revealing the deception that occurs in online dating.

About 1/3 to 3/4 of single people make new friends through the Internet. However, over the past few years, we have heard some counterarguments to the success stories of online dating.

Do you believe in the sweetness described by dating websites and the spotlight that comes with it, as well as the clock ringing for marriage not far away, or do you believe in the shocking news reported by the media and the existence of online dating? Deception, betrayal, and perverted things that are incompatible with society? The truth is often somewhere in between, but which side is more inclined?

Thankfully, a large amount of research data points to the direction in which things ultimately progress. . The study found the following ten psychological biases in online dating.

1. People who date online are not losers

Unlike other things, the evidence does not suggest that online dating is a social misfit or weird thing.

On the contrary, online daters are more sociable, have higher self-esteem, and behave generously on dates (Kim et al., 2009; Valkenburg, 2007). People who make friends online are not I don’t dare to solve the problem in person. Online dating is just a trendy way to meet new people.

There are many motivations for making friends online, which usually include emergencies such as falling out of love (Barraket and Henry-Waring, 2008). The motivations for online dating tend to be more social than personal. For those who make friends online, on the one hand, they may be shy, on the other hand, they may have moved to a new city and work long hours and have no time to make new friends.

2. There is deception in online dating but it is not common

After investigating the height, weight, and age shown on the driver’s license of 80 online daters, psychologists surveyed 94 % of netizens do not admit to lying when making friends and are skeptical.

Online daters will fill in untrue information in at least one attribute, but the untrue information is still a minority. Some liars will change their information when making friends, either making it up or concealing about 5% of the truth. Daters were more candid about their age and height (by 1.5% and 1.1% respectively). As expected, women tended to say less about their weight, while men added a few centimeters to their height.

It is different from lies in reality, because most lies online cannot be verified. Most people want further progress, so they continue to deceive each other.

3. Photo Fallacy

As the saying goes: the camera never lies. Even without Photoshop to smooth out wrinkles, adjusting the camera angle and lighting can easily change a person's appearance to look more attractive.

People are well aware of this, so when choosing their profile photo, there is some discrepancy between the photo provided and the real photo.

Those who don’t look good may choose a photo in which they feel better about themselves, but overall, the difference from the real photo is minimal. In the study, the real photos of the subjects were slightly less attractive than the photos chosen for online dating (the difference was 5% for women and 4% for men). In fact, online daters don’t tell too many lies.

4. You look good

In a dating website, different types of profile photos are classified according to more than 7,000 photos in its database.

Women tend to react faster when taking photos, so the photos appear blurry. However, the most successful photos of women are those that give a sense of ambiguity.

When men take photos, they should stay away from the camera and not smile. Such photos will look better. Avoid blur because blurry photos cannot convey relevant information.

Then, they will choose an attractive photo to extend the online chat.

The following are some backgrounds that often appear in photos:

1) Do interesting actions

2) Take photos with animals

3 ) Choose an interesting scenic spot (for example: travel pictures)

Related photos that will shorten the conversation time:

1) Bed (short conversation time)

　3) Play with friends

　4) The photo most likely to lose its charm is drinking (the conversation time is the shortest)

( Remember: these are only related things, and we cannot determine their causal relationship)

5. Don’t like people who have the opposite personality to yourself

People who make friends online like to be with them Chat with similar people. Data from 65,000 online daters revealed that people tend to make friends with people who are similar to themselves.

In this regard, there is not much difference between online dating and real dating. Almost everyone is looking for like-minded people. In this regard, many dating websites have begun to narrow their scope, such as classifying people with different interests (such as sports fans), people of different races (such as Jews), and people with special medical conditions.

6. Online dating encourages contact with people of different personalities

From a survey of 2,670 married couples from the United Kingdom, Australia and Spain, online dating has diversity. From this survey, we found that compared with traditional ways of making friends, there is a big gap between the age and educational background of online friends.

Although people don’t like to make friends with people with whom they have different personalities, online dating promotes the combination of people with different personalities. Researchers think this could change the status quo in marriages, where people who have never met before are brought together through online dating.

7. Keep the first message as short as possible

When you send a text message to a stranger and get a reply soon, this may be something destined. In the research survey, researchers sent messages to 500,000 people and then waited for responses, and these data show the response rate. Among them, only 30% of messages sent by men to women were responded to, 45% of messages sent by women to men were responded to, and the chances of talking to each other were even lower (20% and 30% respectively).

Research shows that 1/3 do not receive a response, in part because the online dating account has not been used for a long time.

Oktrends also found that the length of the message did not make much difference in response rates between men and women, so there was no need to spend time writing long essays. The method is simple: just say hello and let them see your profile.

8. Mood swings can attract more attention

In an online dating study, it was found that mood swings can leave a better impression on both men and women. Awesome? Two words.

At the same time, this research also shows the impact of self-disclosure. Generally speaking, people are less fond of self-disclosure.

9. After getting to know each other, 51% of people choose to meet in person

Many online daters, of course not all of them, meet for physical enjoyment. A survey of 759 online daters found that 51% would choose to meet in person within one week or one month of receiving a response.

The first meeting is usually the last step for online daters to get to know each other. Is this person really who he says he is? If so, is there any other hidden side? Only after meeting can both parties understand each other.

10. Dating Choices

Research shows that online dating has many benefits, but there is no doubt that there are also unsatisfying and disgusting aspects. 132 online daters reported some problems: unlike real-life dating, they had to spend more time understanding the dater's information and writing emails.

There are many aspects to consider when making friends online. First, you need to find out the other person's temperament, consider whether you can date them, and then choose a potential partner. In fact, this is like reading a book. First read the table of contents, focus on what you like, and then select the articles you like. To put it bluntly, people are constantly reviewing the people they associate with.

Unlike other things, this is not a criticism of the Internet. Frost et al. (2008) believe that this will instead promote the development of online dating services to high-tech content, such as making virtual dates.

What is the progress of online dating?

There is not much research data showing the progress of online dating. Most of the research subjects are interactions between opposite sexes. However, Rosen et al. found that 29% of study subjects had problems making friends online. Dutton et al. found that about 6% of married couples in the United Nations met online, including 5% in Spain and 9% in Australia. Overall, the proportion is higher among young people.

1) In the United States, 42% of young people aged 26 to 35 met and got married through the Internet.

2) In the UK, 21% of married couples met each other through the Internet between the ages of 19 and 25.

The longer the pursuit, the greater the chance that both parties will be together.

Many people will decisively refuse online dating after hearing horrifying reports about online dating, especially those who have lingering fears about it. Some people, due to the gap between their current situation and their idealized self, will choose to stop interacting. There are also some people who extinguish their enthusiasm for communication because of the other party's indifference.

Research shows that most online daters are quite honest, and some online daters are very successful.

Yes, online dating is not a bad thing. On the contrary, it allows people to open up their hearts and fall in love with each other during chatting. The Internet has made many couples, and it can help many people who do not want to directly interact with the opposite sex find them. object. Of course, the Internet also allows many criminals to commit online fraud, so you must be vigilant. ;