Everyone wants to get along well with others and have good interpersonal relationships. In college life, interpersonal relationship has always been an important factor affecting one's mental health and the quality of campus life. Then, how can we get along well with people on the university campus, have a good memory that will never be forgotten, and make full preparations for the future society? We might as well start from the following aspects:
(1) We should fully understand the characteristics of interpersonal relationships on campus.
From the day I became a college student, the objects and characteristics of getting along with people have undergone fundamental changes. Before middle school, the objects and meanings we got along with were narrow, just an extension of friendship or intimate relationship. In addition, the interpersonal relationship at that time was relatively simple. For example, we can only associate with people we like, and people who don't like or don't want to associate can ignore him. However, once we become college students and live in dormitories on campus, we can no longer associate with others only by our personal likes and dislikes. For every member of the collective, whether we like it or not, we have to face it every day and get along with it. Therefore, we should not only associate with people we like, but also keep friendly relations with people we don't like. This is a prominent feature of campus interpersonal relationship. In addition, in college life, the new feature of interpersonal relationship is that you can't only ask others by your own standards, but also realize that your behavior and lifestyle may be accepted and rejected by others. Therefore, when there is conflict or disharmony between the two, we should not only blame and blame each other, but also understand and adapt to each other. In other words, college students must gradually get rid of the self-centered way of thinking, gradually learn to put themselves in others' shoes, and on this basis, establish independent and coordinated new interpersonal relationships.
(2) Pay attention to the cultivation of one's own personality and ability.
I often hear a classmate say, "That person has a good personality and knows a lot. He likes to communicate with him." Indeed, a person with good quality and ability or a special skill is more likely to be loved by people. People appreciate his character and talent, so they are willing to be close to him and become friends. Therefore, if you want to enhance interpersonal attraction and get along with people in a more friendly and harmonious way, you must fully enhance your personality, display your talents, show your specialties, and constantly improve your personality, ability and talent. People like sincere, warm and friendly people.
People hate people who are hypocritical, selfish and cold. Generally speaking, the highest evaluation of personality quality is sincerity, and the lowest evaluation is hypocrisy. When choosing friends among college students in China, the first consideration is personality quality, and they are willing to associate with mature, enthusiastic, frank, positive and responsible people. In addition, interpersonal communication is always characterized by emotional reactions such as mutual satisfaction or dissatisfaction, like or dislike. To have a good interpersonal relationship, we must pay attention to our feelings. Generally speaking, people always like people who like themselves and have a good impression on people who really evaluate themselves. Once you get someone's appreciation, love and praise, your self-esteem will be satisfied because of your praise, which will lead to psychological closeness and affection for this person, thus reducing mutual friction and interpersonal conflict, achieving emotional harmony and providing psychological conditions for good interpersonal communication. Praise others sincerely, and in turn others will have a good impression on you. Some people often pay too much attention to themselves and can't find the value of others. If you can observe carefully and pay more attention to others, you will find that everyone has something worthy of praise. Affirming and praising the advantages of others will bring benefits to yourself.
(3) Be broad-minded, learn to observe each other's psychology and be honest with each other.
Our society is a pluralistic society, and the relationship between people is becoming more and more complicated. The complexity of society leads to the richness of personality, which inevitably leads to the intensification of contradictions among individuals. To maintain good interpersonal relationships with people around you, we must learn to seek common ground while reserving differences and have a generous and open-minded psychological quality. We must be considerate of others and be honest with each other.
In life, we have misunderstandings with our classmates who live together day and night. When we are treated unfairly and not accepted by others, you will be anxious and irritable, which will definitely affect your study, life and social relations. What are we going to do, make a scene? Why don't you just break up These are not the best ways, they can only put themselves at a disadvantage in communication and affect future communication. On the contrary, if we are open-minded, we may be more calm, consider the problem from the other side's position, understand the feelings and feelings of others, misunderstandings and grievances will often disappear, and others will accept you happily. As the saying goes, "gather friends generously." It is difficult to be a broad-minded person, but we college students must pay attention to the cultivation of this quality in daily life and communication in order to better adapt to life and society. Among our classmates, they are either cheerful or deep; Or implicit, or frank; Or open-minded, or cautious, its personality is rich and diverse. So learn to be a caring person, be good at observing other people's moods, take the initiative to care about others, and let them feel your kindness and warmth in different ways. Take roommates in the same dormitory as an example. They have frequent contact, because they have many contacts and opportunities, so they are the easiest, and because they have many contacts, frictions and contradictions, they are the most difficult. This requires each of us to pay attention to observation and try our best to meet the needs of others, such as drawing water to sweep the floor, cooking for sick or busy students and making up lessons. However, there is a "self-centered" communication tendency among college students today. Many people only emphasize that others should know, understand, accept and respect themselves, but neglect to understand and respect others equally; Only pay attention to the realization of their own goals, but ignore the interests and requirements of others, and so on. Under the control of this tendency, they often blindly communicate with their own temperament regardless of the occasion and the mood of the other party, leading to an embarrassing situation in communication. Imagine a person is at a low psychological level, but you announce your achievements in front of him. What will happen? ! Therefore, many times, we need to put ourselves in others' shoes. Only by caring for each other and exchanging sincerity for sincerity can we achieve spiritual communication and emotional harmony.
Honesty and trustworthiness is the basic principle of being a man. In our college students' communication, if a friend cheats you, your self-esteem will be hurt and you may not be able to trust him as before. Similarly, we should treat others honestly and sincerely to gain their trust and understanding. It shows a person's self-esteem and inner sense of security and dignity, which can make people gain the trust of others in communication, and then attract people with the same excellent quality to their side, and establish a relaxed and happy social circle without pretending to be themselves.
Making friends is a process of constant selection. Hypocrisy cannot be hidden forever. Once discovered by the other party, it is the greatest harm to friendship. Therefore, when we get along with others, we should be broad-minded and considerate and sincere. Only in this way can we get real friends and get along better with others.
(4) Master certain social skills.
Skills in communication are like lubricants in interpersonal relationships, which can help people improve communication and understanding, shorten psychological distance and establish good relationships in communication activities. Many students with interpersonal communication barriers are caused by lack of communication skills. Many students say that they can be comfortable dealing with people they are familiar with, but they are often passive, cautious and timid when dealing with unfamiliar people, and they don't know how to get along with them. Many students often lose interest in interpersonal communication because of their lack of communication and interpersonal skills, which leads to a passive and isolated situation in interpersonal communication, and it is easy to limit their development because they cannot express their ideas properly. For many college students, if they realize that they lack the necessary social and interpersonal skills, they should take active and positive measures to gradually improve their interpersonal problems, rather than avoiding them blindly.
In fact, social skills are varied. Such as enhancing interpersonal attraction, humor, clever criticism, language art and so on. For college students, after establishing the courage and confidence in interpersonal communication, the skills to be mastered in interpersonal communication are mainly to cultivate the psychological quality of successful communication and the correct use of language art. The psychological quality of successful communication includes honesty and trustworthiness, modesty and prudence, enthusiasm and help, respect and understanding, generosity and so on. The application of language art includes accurate expression, effective listening and politeness. These are all helpful for college students.
High communication art and good communication effect. In addition, in formal communication occasions, college students should also pay attention to neat clothes, civilized and decent manners, elegant posture of sitting, standing and walking, don't joke regardless of objects, and avoid patting shoulders and holding hands. Of course, you can't be timid and cautious in front of people. Be confident and energetic, but also natural and graceful, neither humble nor supercilious.
In short, college students should establish self-confidence in interpersonal communication, improve their quality in all aspects, be brave in practice, be good at summing up, practice in learning, learn in practice, constantly improve themselves, enrich themselves, and gradually succeed in communication and life.
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How to improve interpersonal relationship?
Interpersonal relationship is an important part of our life. If we don't have good interpersonal relationships, it will have a bad influence on our work, life and mental health. In the real society, it is normal and understandable that there is a certain ideological gap due to different personalities, endowments, living backgrounds and purposes. If you don't get along well with everyone at work or in life, it's not normal. You need to adjust yourself and change it.
People play different social roles according to age, gender, occupation, position and environment. When interacting with people, different roles have different codes of conduct, so when interacting with different people, they have different requirements and skills.
First of all, we should think of others everywhere and avoid being self-centered. To improve the relationship between colleagues, we must learn to consider problems from other angles and be good at making appropriate self-sacrifice.
To do a good job, you should always cooperate with others. After you get your grades, please * * * share them with you. Don't show yourself everywhere, take everyone's achievements as your own. Providing opportunities for others and helping others achieve their goals in life is very important for dealing with interpersonal relationships.
Thinking of others is also manifested in extending a helping hand and giving help when others encounter difficulties and setbacks. Good interpersonal relationships are often mutually beneficial. All the care and help you give others will be rewarded when you are in trouble.
Secondly, open-minded, good at accepting others and accepting yourself. Don't waste time praising others. But you should be careful not to exaggerate blindly, which will give people a false feeling and lose others' trust in you.
Thirdly, we should master the skills of talking with colleagues. When talking with colleagues, pay attention to his speech and give appropriate feedback. Attentive listening represents understanding and acceptance, and it is a bridge connecting the soul. Pay attention to being subtle, humorous, concise and vivid when expressing ideas. Implicit not only shows your elegance and self-cultivation, but also plays a role in avoiding differences, explaining opinions and not hurting relationships. When commenting and pointing out others' mistakes, we should pay attention to the occasion and use peaceful words to avoid hurting others' self-esteem and causing resistance. Humor is the spice of language, which can make conversation lively and interesting. Conciseness requires that when talking with people, you should master what you should say and not say what you shouldn't. When talking with people, you should have your own emotional input, so that you can impress people with your feelings. This is called vividness. Of course, to master the skills of expressing yourself, you need to practice constantly, increase your cultural confusion and broaden your horizons.
Finally, take time to mingle with colleagues. This is also a good way to cultivate your various interests and make friends with them. In addition, exchanging information and learning from your own experience can coordinate interpersonal relationships.
Good interpersonal relationship is an art. All people need constant study and practice to master it. I hope you can make a self-analysis according to your own specific situation, break through the self-enclosed barrier with an open mind and build a harmonious interpersonal relationship.
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How to improve your interpersonal relationship?
It takes patience to establish and maintain interpersonal relationships, which is a bit like fishing. The basic essentials of fishing can be briefly introduced through its trilogy:
(1) Making bait and lowering hook: Just from the choice or making of bait, you need strong judgment: for example, what the fish to catch likes to eat (that is, what can arouse the desire of the caught person): that is, whether the bait is more effective and so on. The next date should find the right "fish pond" (that is, the occasion) and the right machine.
② Stick to the pole: At this stage, we must be patient first, not eager for quick success and instant benefit, and we want to see the fish as soon as we catch it. Second, be calm. Giving the "fish" a little sweetness is not enough to make it fall for it. Maybe the other party is testing whether it is safe.
3 tick: this is the most dangerous moment, and most of the things you don't eat with your mouth are at this time. At this time, be sure to hide. If you show your face a little or act too hastily, you will fall short. Sophisticated people will take it in and out at will, and Zhang Chi will be very suitable for them, which will keep each other's appetite, make the hook deeper and hold it more firmly.