01

My favorite fashion blogger made a rare update to her WeChat push last night. The content was still the same frigidity. Throughout, she introduced her favorite Nordic style clothing brands and products. home.

The simple and comfortable Nordic style is particularly popular with me. I especially like the expressions of the models that are neither flattering nor sharp. It is like "I am not living to please you" written on each face.

It is often said that a person's clothes can reflect his personality to a certain extent, and the almost all black, white and gray colors of my wardrobe are a bit like my reserved and quiet appearance in person.

All friends who know me will unanimously think that I have a comfortable and gentle personality when talking about me. And those strangers who have never spoken to each other and often pass by me will most likely think that I am not easy to get along with.

Some people have alienation written on their faces, it’s true.

I am the kind of person who is not good at making friends. As Zhou Guoping said, I neither want to please others, nor do I want others to please me. I neither want to let myself appear in the eyes of others. He seems boring, and he doesn't want to tolerate the boredom of others.

Therefore, the friends around me are very precious to me. From the bottom of my heart, I like them, cherish them, and long for their happiness to be greater than my own happiness.

This is both good and bad.

The good thing is that the people around you are your confidants. The bad thing is that those people who meet by chance but have interests involved think you are weird.

I used to envy those girls who could mingle with everyone they met. Girls who loved to laugh would not have bad luck. This sentence seemed to be written for them.

But as I get older, I don’t want to care about other people’s opinions. Whether I am introverted or willful, I just let them go.

02

The word introversion has long been criticized in a culture where social interaction is highly valued.

When people mention introversion, their first reaction is that they are not good at socializing, talking, and getting along with others. This is probably the biggest discrimination in the 21st century.

When I was a child, my grandparents were always very unfavorable about my future development. The reason is very simple. When I was a child, I didn’t like to talk or be teased, especially those unfamiliar adults.

In their eyes, only extroverted people can be called generous.

This kind of thinking has led me to believe that introversion is a derogatory term for a long time.

They don’t understand the strength of your introverted personality, your long-term silent thinking, and your refusal to fight against people with angular personalities.

As I grow up, I gradually understand these truths, and when I hear them talk about this topic, I even sympathize with their unhealthy value system.

Being introverted does not mean that you have no friends, it just means that you know better who you want to get along with. Introversion does not mean that you are socially afraid, but that you don’t want to tell you many things.

The biggest reason why I refuse to get too close and enthusiastic with a relative stranger is that it would make me feel very, very uncomfortable.

Privately, I always believe that being able to achieve one's own comfort and happiness is the realization of the greatest value in life.

So I am confused as to why many people try so hard to make the people around them like them, even if they do not get along with each other in many aspects.

The heroine of Titanic, Kate Winslet, was always considered a fat girl when she was young, and was always forced by people around her to accept the label of a fat girl. She later said in an interview , It doesn’t matter if you are thinner or fatter, just be what you want to be, no matter what others say, don’t care.

Many people come and go in life. If you don’t pay attention to what they say, you will never lose yourself.

03

Yu Hua once wrote in his work "Shouting in the Drizzle": I no longer pretend to have many friends, but return to loneliness, with real I started living alone. Sometimes I can't stand the torture of emptiness because of loneliness, but I would rather maintain my self-esteem in this way than exchange for that superficial friend at the cost of shame.

Never deliberately please anyone. People who need you to please to maintain a relationship will not become true friends.

My girlfriends will occasionally worry about not being able to eat or sleep well because of one or two careless words between classmates. They often wonder if they have said or done something wrong to offend others. Trying to please someone carefully and carefully choosing every word you say will be of no use in the end.

In fact, thinking too much makes you unhappy, and doing too much makes others unappreciative. A good relationship is one where each other can communicate and get along comfortably without being intentional about each other.

Friends are more valuable than more. In your eyes, those people who have friends all over the world are mostly burdened by favors, or their friendships are limited to greetings and exchanging business cards.

It is precisely because of the chaos and noise in society that we should listen to our inner voice.

I want to realize a simple and direct life. If I like it, I like it, if I hate it, I hate it. The relationship should be whatever it is. I don’t deliberately shorten the distance between people. I don’t live for this. To please you.

I hope to be like the Nordic style model in the photo, neither humble nor overbearing, neither flattery nor harsh, and live a peaceful life.