Guo Degang’s friends discuss lines

This is one of them:

Crosstalk "Friends Book"

B When we talk about crosstalk, we have to study everything.

A Yes, you have to study everything.

B needs to know everything.

A You don’t need to talk about anything else, you even need to know this social custom.

B Oh! Do you still need to know about social favors?

A Of course! In the past, most people said, "To make friends, you have to cover your eyes with your hands!"

B Why?

A It’s easy to identify which people are not to be friends with!

B Can you tell the difference?

A Look at it.

B I think anyone can be friends with me.

A If not.

B What?

A There are certain types of people you should not be friends with.

B What do you think you do?

A I can’t say what I’m doing.

B What?

A I just said there is such a person.

B What kind of person?

A If you take the tram and squeeze in, you can’t get along with this kind of person!

B I object to this sentence. You can’t interact with people who squeeze in on the tram. According to what you say, there will be no one in the tram! They are all standing blocking the door. Who will be responsible if there is danger?

A Ah! You said so.

B Ah! Still!

A But the situation of squeezing in is different from that of squeezing in.

B Why is it different?

A For example, there are four people playing together. Big brother: "Hey! Brother, are you okay?"

B "No!"

A "Wow!"

B "Where are you going?"

A "Let's go and have fun together in the city."

B "Let's go!"

A "Let's take the tram?"

B "Okay."

A "Come! You all stand behind me."

Why is B standing behind him?

A He stood at the head. Four people are taking a tram, and the person standing in the front will definitely not buy a ticket.

B I don’t believe it.

A Hey, if you don’t believe it, think about it!

B How do you think about it?

A How many people are on the tram now?

B There are so many people!

A It doesn’t matter if there are many people. This guy has nothing to do at home and just practices kung fu.

B What kind of kung fu do you practice?

A specializes in squeezing.

B can squeeze!

A No matter how many people are on the tram, he will get in as soon as he squeezes in. Isn’t this tram three doors? He stood in the middle of this.

B Why are you standing there doing this?

A Isn’t this door wide and easy to enter?

B Ah!

A "You all stand still and stand behind me." The tram came. As soon as the door opened, he got on before people had even finished getting off. Squeezing in: "Borrow the light! Borrow the light! Borrow the light! Borrow the light!"

Where did B go?

A He is staying inside.

B Who are those?

A. Where have these guys ever practiced that kind of Kung Fu?

B No wow!

A is standing here guarding the ticket sales. As soon as the tram started, he called the ticket seller.

What is B?

A "Ticket seller!"

B What are you doing?

A "Hey, come here! There are four of us, I'll buy four tickets!"

B Ah! He really wanted to buy four tickets outside.

A He doesn’t want to buy four tickets.

What does B mean?

A He told the people at the door.

B Huh?

A: Think about it, there are many people, and he is far away from the door. Can the ticket seller squeeze through? He knew it, but he yelled anyway. When he shouted, the people at the door had to dig into their pockets.

B Oh! This trick is really awesome!

A. These guys have zero in their pockets. Can they let him buy it?

B No.

A "Come on, brother, what are you shouting for? Why do I ask you to buy it for four cents? I bought it!"

B Hey!

A went around him for free and ended up with a good guy.

B Oh! He always takes advantage.

A always takes advantage.

B Ah!

A He also has bad luck!

B When did he get unlucky?

A If he squeezes too hard for a long time, he will be unlucky.

B Did you squeeze too hard?

A One time he pushed too hard, "Borrow the light! Borrow the light! Borrow the light!" Oh, ho!

B Where has he gone?

A He squeezed to the back door.

B Oh! Go over there.

A There is also a ticket seller at that gate over there.

B Yes!

A The ticket seller was standing behind him, but he didn't see it. As soon as the tram started, he shouted to the ticket seller: "Ticket seller!"

B Yeah!

A: The nagging person behind him: "How many should I buy?"

B: Yo! Yo yo yo...

A "Huh?"

B What's the matter?

A He looked back: "What for?" "Didn't you buy a ticket?"

B Yes!

A "Buy a ticket!"

B Ah!

A "I came up from that door."

B Ah!

A "Yeah! This door is also sold!"

B Yes!

A "How many do you buy?" "What do you do?" "I sell tickets!" You sell tickets? Do you have proof? "

B Hey, okay!

A's four cents is too much to talk nonsense.

B's squeeze is nonsense.

A What kind of person do you think this is?

B is a person who cannot make friends with others.

A has another kind of person that he cannot make friends with.

B. What kind of person?

A goes to the restaurant and washes his mouth.

What's wrong with us?

A can't do it. >

B, I have a problem with your statement.

What’s wrong with A?

B is a person who doesn’t rinse his mouth after eating! A, gargling is different from gargling.

How is B different?

A, do you know when to gargle?

When is B? /p>

A and others went to the restaurant and finished their food.

B: Well!

A is rinsing his mouth differently from others.

Why is B different?

A rinses his mouth after eating.

A does not. When he drinks soup, this is the rule in restaurants.

Yi offers a bowl of clear soup. p>Hey! B likes to drink soup!

That’s not necessarily true for A. He’s just wasting time!

What’s B doing?

A doesn’t want to pay.

B Hey!

A’s last bowl of soup, he drank in vain (pretending to drink soup): “Yeah! This soup is good! ”

B Oh! That’s a compliment.

A "It has a lot of flavor. How much does this soup cost?"

B Ah!

A's waiter came over: "This soup is free." "Ah, it's free. It's so delicious, no need to pay?"

B No need to pay.

A "I'll make this soup tomorrow!"

B Are you coming to eat?

A Just drink soup!

B Huh?

A Well, then it costs money!

B How fresh!

A Is there anyone who goes to the restaurant Guangke Tang?

B I’m not allowed to drink it either!

As soon as A saw the time, these people wiped their faces and rinsed their mouths: "Let's settle the accounts!"

B Settle the accounts.

A has already settled the matter. The waiter brought the invoice over and said, "You guys ate nine and a half yuan."

B It's really not much.

A. The ninety-three yuan is over. These guys all paid.

B rushed to give it.

A He doesn’t pay.

B What is he doing?

A He rinsed his mouth.

B Is he gargling now?

A doesn’t rinse his mouth in the morning or in the evening. He only waits for this period to rinse his mouth.

B Oh!

A When someone paid for it, he copied the mouthwash.

B What are you doing?

A (makes a gesture of gargling) "Hmm!..."

B Rinse?

A Rinse your mouth.

B Yeah!

A. When someone pays for it, he makes a gesture with them.

B How to make gestures?

A "Hmm... um... um..." (gesturing with hands)

B What's going on?

A This is talking.

B Yo! What does this mean?

A said, "Don't give us the meal money, and you don't give it to us either. I will pay for the meal..."

B Oh, he gave it to me.

A He won’t give it either!

B Then who will give this money?

If A doesn’t give it, then let’s wait on the counter!

Do you recognize him on the counter?

A These guys have finished giving the money and gave ten yuan. "Less!" "Quite a bit, thank you. Seven-corner cabinet!" "Thank you——"

B finished shouting and left.

A He also spat out his mouthwash.

B Oh!

A (spitting water) "Why did you give it to me again?"

B. Why did you give it to me again?

A But he was given another gift. After eating, he rinsed his mouth, but he was still not given!

B Yes!

A Oh! I followed him even after eating.

B doesn’t pay.

A doesn’t pay at all? They all stood there rinsing their mouths. After the four of them finished eating, they all stood there (learning to gargle) "Hey..." The waiter looked at it and said, "What are you doing?"

B What are you doing?

A This is kung fu practice, what's going on?

B Does anyone practice this Kung Fu?

A Does this look good?

B Don’t look down upon!

A After giving the money, what does he have to do with it?

B What’s the point?

A He still asked others!

B How to ask?

A "Brother!"

B Huh?

A "Who gave the money?" This person said: "I gave it."

B Yes!

A "You are wrong!"

B Huh?

A The person who gave the money heard this: Why am I so unlucky?

B That’s right!

A: "I've given you the money, why am I still wrong?" "You think you're justified after giving me the money? I should have given you these ten yuan, why did you give it again? You Say, do you accept the punishment?

A You said it was unlucky for me to treat you.

B What bad luck!

This person A said: "Brother! How about if I accept the beating?" "Accept the beating, I will beat you up!" "Where should I accept the punishment?" "Accept the punishment, and I will punish you again here tonight. ! ”

How about B!

A: Eat someone else's meal, and punish them again!

B Two meals inside and outside.

A Who do you think this person is?

B You are so clever.

A Okay! Rinse your mouth after eating for the first time, okay!

B got through it!

A The second time I rinsed my mouth, it was ok!

B You got it fooled!

A The third time...

B Huh?

A, people also understand.

B No one is stupid.

A I won’t look for him at dinner next time.

B Oh! Avoid him.

A Guess what?

B Huh?

A Aren’t you looking for him?

B Yes!

A He will look for you.

B Where can I find him?

A. He knows where these people go.

B What should he do?

A He got up early and went to the alley entrance to wait.

B Bai et al.

A Those guys are going out today. When everyone took a look, he was not there. This one said: "Without him, I will treat you today." "Okay, let's go!"

B Okay, there is no him this time.

As soon as A entered the alley, he emerged from it: "Where are we going?"

What should B do?

A "We're fine! Let's go to a movie!" "A movie? Is that ridiculous? I know you are going to eat. I didn't pay for your three meals in a row, so you just avoided me. You pay My friend is not honest. Come with me today, I’ll treat you. If I don’t treat you, I’m a bastard. If you don’t bother me, you’re insulting my ancestors!”

Yihao! It’s a real treat, let’s go!

A Let’s go! Whoever goes will be unlucky. He is so thoughtful! Which restaurant is bigger, which restaurant he takes to. As soon as they entered the door, the waiter came over to greet them: "Please upstairs!" "No. 2 upstairs!" They sat there, and he was the first to order food. Tell the waiter: "Let's get ten of the dishes that cost three or four yuan a piece; let's get liquor, beer, and brandy! Come with the food! Let's go!"

B Hey! This is a great meal to satisfy your cravings!

Two of A's were really happy: "This is a good meal!" One was scared and said in his heart: "Is he rich? Let's talk about it after eating!"

That's not a good thing for B. Let’s talk after eating.

A. He eats and drinks every day, but today he even ate and drank! After three glasses of brandy, I looked at him again. His head was green, his tongue was wet, and his tongue was short. When he looked in the mirror, he didn't even recognize himself.

B What’s wrong?

A What’s wrong? They’re all out of phase! While drinking, he also said: "Let me tell you! I ate three meals from you, but you avoided me and made friends. It made me sad! I don't pay for meals! Ask me, am I that kind of person?" ”

Is it him?

A He is that kind of person. "I'm telling you, I'm going to treat you to this meal today.

Afraid of you giving me money, I deposited two thousand yuan as soon as I walked in! "

B Whoa!

A This person deposited two thousand yuan in a can, so he quickly called the waiter over: "Did our guy deposit two thousand yuan in your cabinet? The waiter said: "I don't know, I'll ask!" "Deng Deng Deng ran downstairs and asked the clerk: "Are the four people upstairs depositing two thousand yuan here? The gentleman said: "Huh?" I don't know! I'm telling you, don't joke around at work! "The guests asked!" ""Come! I'll check the account. "He took the account book and turned it over eight times.

Does B have it?

A doesn't have it at all. Where can he find it? The gentleman said: "Hurry up and go upstairs. Asking, maybe I remembered it wrong? The waiter came upstairs and said, "Which of you can save two thousand yuan?" "Now he stood up and swayed: "I'll save two thousand yuan with you! "The waiter said: "Did you remember it wrong? ""No! How can I go wrong? I don’t have the two thousand yuan? "Who did you leave it to?" "I leave it to you!" The waiter was stunned: "Yo!" How soon did you hand it over to me? "At this time, he stepped forward, bang! Just give him a big mouth.

B is slapped!

If A fails to slap him, there will be no trace of him if others look for him again!

Where is B?

A’s table is gone!

Look at A’s table. , Another bad luck.

B’s idea is really brilliant!

A is so angry that those guys don’t even eat or drink. “Okay, I know them. You! If you don’t believe it, look at his pocket, he doesn’t have a penny! "He really has a way of calculating! "I'll give you whatever it takes to settle the account! "The clerk did the calculation: forty-eight and a half yuan.

Why does B have so much?

Jia only has forty yuan for groceries! "Okay, next time I go out, I It's his grandson! You two take him down! Man, get a three-wheeler! "

Why did B hire a car?

A sent his old man home. The two of them tried to push him down, but he was not honest: "Don't worry about me, I'm not done with him. I have to seal the door for him tomorrow! "

B Hey! He is so powerful!

A went to the door and called the tricycle over. The tricycle driver asked: "Where are we going? "XX Hutong, No. XX." How much? "Give me four corners!" "I'll give you a piece." "Why do you give me a piece?" "I'll give you more six cents." Our guy is drunk, be careful on the road and don't throw him. Here’s a piece for you! "Let him see it now! "Don't worry, it's not over with him. "Don't finish it!" Get in the car! Kick away! "

B's done, let's go this time.

A turned around in the car, it's not over yet!

B's not over yet?

A is not finished, but he wants to see if those people are turning.

Where does B want to turn?

A can’t see those people, he is happy. La. It didn't matter that he was having fun.

What about B?

A was laughing in the car. , startled the tricycle driver: "Yo! What's the matter with you? ""stop! "Aren't you going home?" ""ah! Shall I go home? My home is in Yunnan, please bring me to Yunnan! "That's okay!" He said and got out of the car: "How much will I give you?" "Give me a piece." ""Ouch! You want to rebel! From there to here you want a piece? "What should we do?" "Get me the lead angle!" You take two dimes! "

Yihao! You're walking around the corner here!

Jiazu didn't pay for a meal, and he still walked around the corner! What kind of friend do you think this is? Can you make friends with this person? ?

B can’t hand it over!

A is so scared that they don’t even dare to go out!

B has no idea this time. /p>

A, he has an idea!

Yi 1

He knows where A’s family lives.

B knows.

A: Well, he won’t come in when he comes to your door.

B What are you doing?

A He looked at the chimney first.

B Look at the chimney?

A The chimney is bursting with smoke, but he won't go in.

B What’s going on?

A Where is the cooking going?

A He waited for a while and when the chimney started to emit white smoke, he went in.

B What are you doing?

A The rice is ready!

B Hey! He really does research!

A went to the door and saw black smoke coming out of the chimney. He was off to play!

B has gone to play 1

A walked around three times and came back to see that white smoke was coming out of the chimney, the rice was ready, and the vegetables were fried. I picked up my chopsticks and was about to eat when he opened the door and walked in.

B is in!

A "Ah ho! What a coincidence!"

B What a coincidence?

A Is it a coincidence?

B What?

A He stood at the door for four hours.

B Ouch! He has been waiting all morning!

A There is no one who is not allowed to eat here.

B all let people.

A "Brother is here, let's eat together!" "Hey, you're welcome." Have a meal. Just don't go there next time; if you go there next time, people will pretend to give in, not really.

B What does it mean to give in!

This person A looked at it: "Oh! Big brother is here! Get on the kang and have something to eat?" "No, no! I won't eat!" "What are you doing?" "No, no , I missed it! "Hey! What are you doing? Come on and eat!"

B Oh! Really nice of you.

A The next day someone gave in.

B Oh, give in?

A You can hear this lie.

B You learn!

A As soon as he entered the door, this person spoke: "Big brother is here! Haha! Have you eaten?"

B Hey! This is bad, it’s done here!

A Look how harmful this is! "Have you eaten?" No matter how smart and cold-hearted you are, you still can't answer this!

B No words!

A OK! This one answered very appropriately.

How did B answer?

A "Ah! Brother, have you eaten?" "Ah! I'm not busy!"

B Oh, he's not busy!

A Hey, he’s not busy!

B He means...

A This means I will eat later!

B Oh!

A He is gone. This person thought about it: "Ouch!"

B Hold your breath!

A "It's interesting!"

What is B talking about?

A "How about I let him eat me and see if he comes tomorrow?"

B can't come!

A What day is it on the third day?

B Huh?

A goes again!

B went again!

At this time, A came over and opened the door: "Oh, what a coincidence!"

B What a coincidence!

A, this person...

B, are you talking?

A ignored him.

B Ignore him?

A This person is also a bit damaged.

B What?

A holds his rice bowl and chopsticks to look at him happily.

B. Enjoy watching him?

A "Ha! Haha! Hahaha!..."

B Is this a happy place?

A This! This is worse than scolding!

B Ouch! Doesn’t sound good.

A Ignore him.

B Ah!

A Aren’t you ignoring him?

B Yes.

A He will take care of you.

B How does he handle it?

A stands there and says "Go!" to you!

B What did you say?

A "Brother!"

B Huh?

A: "What are you enjoying? Haha! This rice is quite white! Did you pay more per pound for it?" The person was confused: "One cent and two!"

One and two cents?

A "Stop making trouble!"

B Huh?

A "The rice I bought yesterday was 16 cents, and it was not as white. Most of it was covered with rice, right?" "Nonsense! Did you buy covered rice? No?" "No! No!" Does it taste good? "If you don't believe it, try it!"

A Give him a try! Okay, pick up the bowl and eat (talk with rice in your mouth): "Well, don't tell me..."

B Why does it taste like this?

A The rice is in your mouth and you haven’t swallowed it yet!

B Oh! Still holding it!

A: "Well, this rice is not covered. If it is not covered, it is not covered. There is something wrong with this rice." "What's wrong with it?" "It's too bland!" "Isn't it bland just by eating? ?”“Some more food!”

What’s wrong with B?

A Another meal.

B Okay!

A dealt with someone else again.

B is really clever.

A He really has a lot of tricks up his sleeve. This guy is so pissed off. What this person is saying: Let’s see if he comes tomorrow!

B can’t come!

A Come back tomorrow and I will let him eat it again, even if I agree with him for the rest of his life.

B Yes!

A If you look like that, don’t go there again!

B Don’t go.

A goes again!