Maybe you have been confused by the series of questions, but please think carefully about how many of them you have won. If you win more than three, then you really should take some time to sort out your interpersonal relationships. It doesn’t need to be too much. In fact, a cup of coffee is enough.

Okay, back to the main text, let us take a look at why these situations are called misunderstandings in interpersonal relationships. In fact, it is very simple, because many of the feelings we have are relatively subjective, usually "I think", "I think" and so on. In fact, you are judging based on your own feelings, which is not true. Know right from wrong.

To systematically understand interpersonal relationships, we must systematically understand the misunderstandings about interpersonal relationships, such as the five common questions above from the book. In general, they can actually be attributed to three points. Let us Let’s take a look!

01. The value theory of interpersonal relationships: Old friends are not equal to best friends

Of course, old friends can be your best friends, but please do not replace them with equal amounts. In the common perception of many people, a best friend must be a friend who has been with them for a long time, a childhood friend or a so-called close friend.

The book "A cup of coffee is enough to sort out interpersonal relationships" uses examples of wine and coffee. First, it compares old friends to coffee. Just imagine what a cup of 20-year-old coffee would look like.

Then the book compares good friends to wine. Many people also think so. Wine is like interpersonal relationships. The longer they last, the better. But the author also said that wine also needs to be stored in the correct way. If it is not handled well, it may become smelly.

The same is true for love. Why is the ideal period for confession is three months? There is a problem of freshness. The relationship between two people may heat up over time, but the conflict will also It will increase, like wine, and it will be stored so that you can harvest its sweetness.

So it is unwise to simply use time to explain the relationship between the two. In the author's opinion, your best friend is the one who can help you when you are in trouble or difficult situations.

You must know that friends lie in essence and truth, not in number and longevity. Therefore, the above three misunderstandings about interpersonal relationships ①, ② and ④ are misunderstandings of the value theory of friends in interpersonal relationships. Do you have any?

02. Systematic theory of interpersonal relationships: constant contact equals eternal life

Every time during the New Year and holidays, the Chinese have a tradition, which is what we often call "visiting relatives" . "Move around more and contact more" has gradually become a polite saying among people, but does it really mean that people who are in constant contact with each other will always have deep feelings for them?

Maybe a lot of communication can enhance feelings, but it is also the definition of a true friend as I emphasized in the interpersonal value theory.

So I often hear friends around me say things like: "I have more than 5,000 people in my address book", "I know many high-ranking officials", but are these people really your friends? To put it bluntly, you may have never met him in person, let alone anything else.

"To sort out interpersonal relationships, a cup of coffee is enough" says this: If you blindly make friends for the purpose of quantity, then your interpersonal relationships will become complicated.

This kind of interpersonal relationship that does not pay attention to quality but only seeks quantity. First, it may be gradually forgotten over time, just like your best friend in college. Maybe you have no contact now. Second, you cannot tell the difference at all. To reveal everyone’s inner thoughts, what is their purpose? The more friends you have, the more damage it will do to you in the end.

So paying attention to quality is a very important point in making friends. Sometimes too complicated interpersonal relationships are not good for you, so you must learn to clean up in time and purify your interpersonal circle.

So there is a clear answer to the fifth point of whether rejecting others is impersonal, because your friends are not all important to you, like the kind who just "lay" on your list all the time. People, rejection is actually more helpful to you. What you want to maintain should be the interpersonal relationships that are beneficial to you.

Conclusion

Good interpersonal relationships will bring us happiness, but the prerequisite is that we can handle them well, but if we spend too much time dealing with this interpersonal relationship If there is more, then it may be better to stop the loss in time.