On the one hand, we can look again at the things that make us feel painful. What is stuck there? In this regard, I suggest that it would be better to find a professional psychological counselor for long-term counseling and treatment. Because the subject of the question is only 17 years old, his problem-solving ability and self-understanding are still in the growth stage. Sometimes he has to learn to "borrow strength" for problems that are difficult to solve by himself.

1. In our body, there are "id", "superego" and "ego" at the same time

The "id" has primitive desires, which can be understood as We are more inclined to play with mobile phones to obtain instant and short-term happiness; the "superego" regulates ourselves according to social moral standards. This part of me has higher requirements and pursues perfection. "Id" and "superego" are often in an oppositional relationship, which is why you can't control your desire to play with your phone and don't want to learn to do some "thankless" things, but at the same time you feel guilty and painful.

The last one is self. "Self" means self-awareness, playing the role of regulator in the "id" and "superego". You who ask us questions at this moment can be understood as your "self" at work.

2. Why don’t you want to study?

It’s normal to want to have fun and not do hard work! Human nature has always been like this, so I think the questioner can feel less guilty. This is a very normal and popular thing. But since the reason why you feel guilty, you must also know that it is not good for you to stay in this state. In fact, you also want to make changes, but you just can't find any particularly good way to implement it for the time being, right? Learning is a " It's true that it's "difficult", but why are so many people still doing it and even enjoying it?

That’s because learning can bring “benefits” to these people. For me, learning can update my knowledge, take me to “see” a wider world, and broaden my horizons. , improve my ability to solve problems, or let me learn a certain skill, get a promotion and a salary increase, so that I have the ability to experience a better life and do what I like; it can also make me better and know more Like-minded friends, experience pleasant feelings... Think about it carefully, there are really many benefits of learning.

Even so, I still didn’t like studying when I was a student, because learning at that time was passive and consisted of boring theoretical knowledge in textbooks. Doing questions is boring. When I encounter questions that I don’t know how to solve, I can’t think of the answer, or I don’t perform well in the exam, or my family members criticize me, etc., it will make me feel very frustrated. If you also have difficulty in other things, such as making friends, you will connect these frustrations together, resulting in a feeling of "I am bad". At this time, it is difficult for us to like learning.

3. Reduce self-denial

Whether you admit it or not, you are actually not as bad as you think. In those events that bring you bad experiences, besides yourself, there are also many factors. Denying yourself excessively is like adding many shackles to your feet.

4. Try to lower your expectations and start with small things.

For example, today’s goal is to do 3 questions. Once you finish these 3 questions, you will have completed today’s goal, and you can relax and play with your phone. So compared to yesterday when I didn't do even a single question, have I made progress? When you feel good, increase the difficulty little by little. Be careful not to make the difficulty span too large at once. Setting goals that can be achieved in one jump is more conducive to our long-term development.

5. Find your support group

It can be your parents, good friends, complaints group, praise group, or even our platform. If you are more professional, we will recommend a consultant. . Because you mentioned that you have been depressed before, it is possible that your current state is relatively unstable, so having a stable group that can provide you with support and strength can also be of great help to your situation.