Conversation with strangers is a major difficulty in oral communication. If you handle it well, you can feel like an old friend at first sight, but you will regret seeing each other late; if you handle it poorly, it can lead to eye contact and speechlessness.
Not long ago, I stayed in a hotel on a business trip and witnessed a live drama: the person who stayed before me was already lying leisurely on the bed watching TV programs, and the people who stayed before me one by one put down their travel bags. , wiped away the dust for a while, made a cup of strong tea, and while sipping it, I studied the person who came before me: "How long has it been since the master came?" "He came a moment before this guest." He pointed at me who was reading a book. While talking. "The accent doesn't sound like someone from Northern Jiangsu?" "Oh, from Zaozhuang, Shandong!" Ah, Zaozhuang is a great place! I learned about it from the "Railway Guerrillas" comic strip when I was in elementary school. I went to Zaozhuang three years ago and had a lot of fun playing there. "After hearing this, the Zaozhuang guest immediately became interested, and the two started talking with the railway guerrillas from Zaozhuang. People who were so friendly and didn't know the details might think that they came together. Then they exchanged business cards. We ate together, and before going to bed, both parties actually signed the contracts they brought with them: the guest from Zaozhuang ordered a batch of air barrels from a tannery factory in southern Jiangsu; the guest from southern Jiangsu got a batch of reasonably priced ones from the guest from Zaozhuang. Negotiating coal. Their acquaintance, conversation and success lies in the fact that they are familiar with "Zaozhuang" and "Railway Guerrilla".
How can we find the best connection between ourselves and strangers. **What are the same points?
1. Look at the appearance and look for the same strangers
A person’s mental state, spiritual pursuits, life hobbies, etc., are all More or less, it should be reflected in their expressions, clothing, conversation, behavior, etc. As long as you are good at observing, you will find that you have the same similarities. A veteran meets a stranger in a driving position. The car broke down shortly after it got on the road. The driver was busy in and out of the car but still couldn't fix it. The stranger suggested that the driver check the oil line again, and the driver did so hesitantly and found the cause. The veteran felt that he might have learned this unique skill from the army, so he asked, "Have you ever been in the army?" "Well, I stayed for six or seven years." "Oh, after all, we should be considered comrades-in-arms." Where was the army when you were a soldier? "...So this pair of strangers started talking, and it is said that they became friends later. And this is after observing each other, they found that they both served as soldiers. Of course, this observation What Yan Guanse discovers must be combined with his own interests and hobbies, and he must be interested in it, so that he can break the silent atmosphere. Otherwise, even if he discovers the same thing, he will still have nothing to say, or he may have nothing to say. "Stuck" after just one or two sentences.
2. Use words to test the adventure and discover the common points.
Two strangers talked about their values ??in order to break the silence. Speech is the first priority. Some people start with a greeting, asking about the other person's place of origin and identity, and get information from it; some people use listening, speaking, accent, and words to detect the other person's situation; some start with actions, helping the other person do something in urgent need of help. Try talking; some even use the fire to smoke, you can also find each other's characteristics and find a situation for conversation. Two people got on the bus from a certain county and sat on a bench. One of them asked the other person, "Where are you?" Where to get off? "After all, what about you?" "Me too. Where are you going in Nanjing?" "I have business at a relative's house on Shanxi Road in Nanjing. Are you from here?" "No, I came from Nanjing to visit relatives." "After the "fire reconnaissance" of both parties, it became clear that both parties were familiar with the county and Nanjing. They were all relatives and had similar sexual relations. After the two people discovered that the other party had similar sexual relations, they had a lively conversation, and even exchanged words after getting off the car. Invite the other party to be a guest. This harmonious effect seems to be accidental, but in fact it has its inevitable cause: the effect of "fire reconnaissance", discovering the same points, and digging into the Shenzhen Special Economic Zone.
< p>3. Listen to people’s introductions and guess what they have in common.When you visit a friend’s house and meet a stranger present, the host, who is familiar with both, will immediately come forward to introduce both parties. , explain the relationship between the two parties and the owner, their respective identities, work units, and even personality traits, hobbies, etc. Careful people can immediately discover the similarities between the other party and themselves from the introduction.
A section chief of the county price bureau and a teacher from the "county school" met at a friend's house. The host introduced the strangers, and they immediately discovered that they were both classmates of the host. Immediately, we started talking around the breakthrough point of "classmates", getting to know and understand each other, and even becoming friendly. The important thing here is to carefully analyze and understand the other party when listening to the introduction, and then extend the conversation during the conversation after discovering common points, and constantly discover new topics of common concern.
4. Think about the conversation and explore the similarities.
In order to discover the similarities between strangers and yourself, you can analyze and figure out when the person you need to communicate with is talking to others. You can also try to figure out the other person's words when they are talking to you, and discover from them. **Same point. In a department store in Guangzhou, a clerk from the Nanhai Fleet said to the waiter: "Please show me that thing." He also said "I" in authentic Northern Jiangsu dialect that cannot be found in the dictionary. Another person, who is also from Northern Jiangsu, serves in an army unit in Guangzhou. After hearing the former's words, he also pointed to a certain product on the shelf and said the same thing to the salesperson. The two sentences were filled with the local flavor of northern Jiangsu, making the two strangers look at each other and smile, and bought what they wanted to buy. After leaving the store, they started talking, asking about their hometown, the army, current tasks, the road they have traveled in the past few years, and introducing their future plans. Uninformed people would never believe that the intimacy between a pair of fellow villagers in a foreign land was the result of trying to figure out each other's native dialect. It can be seen that carefully studying the other party's conversation can indeed turn strangers into acquaintances and develop into friends by finding out the most common points between the two parties.
5. Go deeper step by step and discover the most common points.
It is not difficult to find similarities, but this is only needed in the early stages of conversation. As the conversation progresses, there will be more and more similarities. In order to make the conversation more beneficial to the other party, you must dig out a deeper level of common ground step by step to get what you want. A college student on vacation and a comrade who works in the court gathered for dinner at a gay friend's house. After being introduced to each other by the host, the strangers began to talk. Gradually, both of them discovered that they were concerned about the unhealthy tendencies in society. They had the same views and unknowingly started a discussion. They talked about the outrageous social phenomena, the soil and roots of their occurrence, the role of democracy and the legal system, and their expectations for the party and the country. The more we talk, the more in-depth we get, the more distance we talk about, the shorter the distance between us is, and the more we talk, the more we have in common. Afterwards, both parties believed that this conversation was beneficial for college students to understand society, for court comrades to understand external information and public demands, and to enhance their consciousness of working hard to correct unhealthy tendencies.
There are many ways to find similarities, such as facing different living environments, different work tasks, different directions of travel, and different lives. Habits, etc., as long as you notice carefully, it is not difficult to break the situation where strangers have nothing to say.