In the discussion, some people forcibly associate male M with those derogatory terms, such as sword, beast, female respect, paying female S to kowtow, etc. However, everyone seems to be used to it, not the habit of "two people agree to play games together", but the habit of "male M is like this".
So I replaced the male M with the female M, and the female is superior to the male. This time, someone immediately stood up and stopped me, saying that I was insulting women, even female M. Don't belittle me.
Another interesting phenomenon is that, macroscopically, when male S and female M go out, most of the expenses in the circle are paid by male S; But on the other hand, if the male M goes out with the female S, the expenses will still be paid by the male M..
You're surprised that I used the word "unexpected", aren't you? That shows that in imperceptible influence, some ideas in your heart have been ingrained unconsciously.
From this point of view, male M seems to be the most neglected group in the whole spanking group, with the least right to speak and sense of existence. They don't seem to dare to speak for themselves, and they are always eager to dig holes and hide like small animals that make mistakes.
So, what this article wants to discuss is:
1. In the current environment, why is it more difficult for male M to face himself than female M?
2. Why do we take their low swords for granted to some extent?
3. Why can't they get the same understanding as M?
Dickens said that the formation of a person's character is related to family; The personality formation of a group is related to society. Therefore, in order to find the answer to the personality of male M group, we have to look at this problem from the social dimension.
What kind of society is China?
Since ancient times, it has been a Confucian culture and patriarchal society, paying attention to "loyalty and filial piety" and "three cardinal guides and five permanents". We often say that the basic unit of society is the individual and the citizen; But in traditional Confucian culture, the basic unit of society is the family.
This is why there is a saying that "cultivate one's morality and keep one's family in harmony", and there is a saying that "if one house is not cleaned, how can one sweep the world", which means that it is impossible to do great things if things at home are not well managed.
But note that these words are all for men, not for women.
The core of the so-called "home" in our traditional culture is "father and son", which is different from mother and child, mother and daughter, father and daughter. The latter is only "natural blood relationship", while the former is "social blood relationship".
What the hell? A little hard to understand, isn't it? It's okay. You just need to think about it. Even now, do most families let mom make the decisions on minor matters and dad make the decisions on major matters?
Is there still a lot of "son preference"?
Do many families still think that it is necessary to have a son to continue the family?
If so, it can be said that the "father-son consanguinity system" is not only the inheritance of natural life, but also endowed with rights and symbolic significance by our culture.
But what does patriarchy have to do with male M?
Don't worry, it's a big deal. All our discussions today are inseparable from the "male-dominated society", but before that, I want to talk about the female M who shares joys and sorrows with the male M but does not suffer.
Our great socialist thinker (manual k9) Marx thought:
"In the patriarchal social system, women are neglected and powerless, the guardians of traditions, customs and all ancient forms of thinking and will, and the eternal braking force to prevent the progress of civilization."
Oh, I think it's pedantic and sour, right? What are you talking about? Women in our country have long been liberated. All right!
Really?
Foucault once solemnly warned that repression has various forms, not just a form of prohibition and restriction. When people think they have been free and liberated, they are only more firmly controlled by power and more deeply suppressed.
Since the 1990s, with the liberation of women to a certain extent, women have been freed from the image of backwardness, weakness and ignorance, but they have fallen into a new round of image imprisonment.
Since then, no matter in novels, movies, screenwriters and advertisements, female images are all associated with beauty, sexiness, body and sensibility, and this seemingly certain value appeal also pushes male images to the other extreme-male images are always associated with fame, wealth, glory, rationality and success.
This is the most striking feature of the patriarchal clan system, the binary opposition between the two sexes, the so-called "male masters outside, female masters inside", or that men represent spirit and will, and women represent emotion and body.
In the patriarchal society we live in, we have been taught since childhood that men, especially all kinds of "first heroes", cannot have these characteristics, such as lust, weakness and submission, and these characteristics can only be presented by women's bodies or villains.
This is why female M is relatively easy to be "understood" by the public, because the female image we have been instilled already has that part of the characteristics, and female M is just a little exaggerated, which also explains why there is always such a wonderful argument that "women are all M in essence".
But is this "understanding" a good thing? I don't think so. As we all know, behind this "understanding", there is a stronger gender opposition and ignorance of public opinion.
Male M is the victim of this opposition and ignorance. Western anti-patriarchal social groups often quote a slogan:
Men are the deepest and most ignorant victims under the patriarchal gender system.
It is true that being strong, rational and eager to achieve is the inner strength of most human beings, but not everyone, or every man, is eager for wealth, honor, success and invulnerability. Men are also weak, sexually impulsive, emotional, and have the desire for S and M.
However, the binary opposition between the sexes instilled in the patriarchal society has amplified the external characteristics of men's masculinity, career, wealth and so on, leading to the withdrawal of men's inner perceptual power and becoming an antagonistic existence.
In recent years, men have to have a house and a car to marry, and the feminization of male idols is an extreme rebound of this cultural indoctrination.
In this social environment, the normal expression of human nature is endowed with diametrically opposite political nature such as "normal" and "abnormal", "correct" and "incorrect" by male-dominated discourse. The desire to conquer like S is understandable, but the desire to submit like M is unforgivable.
As a result, men must have no choice but to be strong and undertake the mission of national dignity and bearing with eternal blood and tears. These deep-rooted gender words have firmly pushed men to the burning column of shame, and no one is spared.
Are you M? You like to kneel at women's feet? Oh, I'm sorry, you are a disgrace to men.
I once wrote an article about "What if your child likes spanking?" One of them said:
"If my son is an S, I will teach him to love each other. If he dares to be M, I will break his leg. "
Please taste it carefully.
Why did you break his leg? Probably because he is M, he will bow and scrape to his favorite female S, which is particularly shameful.
This is precisely the embodiment of the deep values of "gender opposition" in a patriarchal society.
Does this mean that in our society where patriarchy is still deeply rooted, all men who do not conform to their image are actually despised, and even have no qualification to be called "men", so they should naturally be called "animals" and "simple animals" as at the beginning of the article?
And does a man who is "expelled" by a patriarchal society mean that he cannot be forgiven at all? Society can't forgive, spanking can't forgive, and I can't forgive myself.
Perhaps this is the fundamental reason why M hates himself.
Beauvoir said that if you love someone, you must love his differences.
Li Yinhe said that just as there are heterosexuality, bisexuality and homosexuality among men, men's spiritual temperament should also be diversified.
In my opinion, s or m are the answers I got after talking to my spiritual world, and there is no difference between good and bad. Men's pursuits and desires can also be colorful, not just "making money, being a big official, buying a house and a car, making a name for themselves".
I hope that one day, not only rational, domineering, strong and successful men will be worshipped and praised by people, but also dare to be elegant, honest and natural about their desires, and they can also get corresponding understanding and respect.
I know it's hard. It is not an achievement that can be achieved by one person. This is a problem of social environment. But Wang Xiaobo once said, "People should have a poetic world besides real life."
That poetic world exists in our minds, and I think at least there, we can present our true selves instead of standardized false shadows.