I feel that some people think that this society is too realistic and choose to look on coldly and confront the society; Some people simply give up on themselves, and various excuses make them stop; Others are scarred on the road of network expansion, still do not know how to introspect, and choose to move on.
To introduce you to an effective method, this paper first lists an outline for everyone to understand, and then introduces the operation method and experience in detail.
The article is a bit long, and friends who need it should be patient, but it is definitely dry goods. I believe it will help you after reading it.
Iron law of contacts:
If you want to accumulate contacts, what you can do is to accumulate your own value and output your own value. When you can help more and more powerful people, your contacts will be wider and wider, and the quality will be higher and higher.
Effective network expansion will always win. Anyone you meet has to ask yourself, "Why did he help me? What are the three reasons? "
-I'm underlined.
Step 1: Analyze and diagnose the interpersonal network regularly.
1. Network structure error (whether the six types of network structures are reasonable)
A.look at everyone in your network. What benefits can your interaction with them bring you? Does it conform to the six categories of network classification?
The first rule of networking is to reverse the concept of "heroes by quantity" and limit the number of people you communicate with. Because your energy is limited, you should focus on efficiency and not waste it.
My social circle is graded, and everyone's actual situation determines his level. Generally speaking, everyone is centered on their own circle, crossing up and down to expand their contacts. One level away, the integration is more difficult. Everyone is from junior to senior, just like playing a game. You have to constantly upgrade the monster. You have to have more advanced accessories, weapons and abilities to compete with the big Boss. It is definitely impossible to give you a big Boss at first. Not only can you beat it, but it will also hurt your confidence.
Networking is not the same as friends. Networking is more based on interests and is an "equivalent exchange". A relationship that is beneficial to both sides can be called a personal connection. The so-called hugging thighs is not interesting. When you don't have equal qualifications and resources that others need, it's meaningless to hug your thighs.
B. to what extent do these interactions stimulate your energy? Or stimulate your negative emotions (resolutely drive away)?
2. Errors in interpersonal relationship (interpersonal relationship matching, with depth and breadth)
A. judge the distance between each other: the value of personal relationships is determined by the one who is far away from each other psychologically, not wishful thinking.
Don't blindly mix circles, circles don't represent your contacts, and contacts that can't be realized are just like vampires, which will only drain your capital savings. Networking is not how many people you use, but how many people you help. Really effective communication must be based on equal exchange and mutual benefit.
Networking is not how many people you know, but how many people know you. Networking is not how many people you have dealt with, but how many people are willing to take the initiative to deal with you.
If, at last, one day, you become an expert in a certain field, you will be surprised that the so-called efficient contacts that are really valuable will break in. The people you meet will come from completely different levels and from all kinds of unexpected directions. You are no longer the useless you used to be. You are no longer a "receiver". You play the role of "helping others"-few people hate well-meaning help, let alone being asked to help.
3. Network behavior errors (interaction between people is natural, efficient and practical)
A.6 Whether the specific business behavior of network contacts is wrong or embarrassing, it should be pragmatic and efficient.
With the popularity and development of WeChat, "scanning WeChat" has become a way for many people to "get to know each other", and it is also the first step for many people to establish personal relationships. But, after adding friends? After all, the chat on WeChat is across the screen, and the other party can't feel your expression and tone, and will have a completely different reaction to your message: some people hate voice messages for dozens of seconds; Some people reject flashy dynamic expression packs; Some people are extremely sensitive to typos ... When they give you a bad impression through some tiny fragments, it will only reduce your professional image.
Or, you just want to go to the circle of friends to praise it, leave a message to interact and brush the sense of existence. This is understandable, but don't think this is your network.
Those who are not excellent often don't know this seemingly simple truth, or even realize that their situation can only make them play the role of "catcher"; Then turn every "exchange" into "unfair exchange", which makes it easier for the exchange to fail in the end, because no one likes "unfair exchange"; Every time the exchange fails, it will further cause its own losses, so that its resources will either be reduced in quantity or quality, further making it more likely to become a "requester"-a vicious circle, and may even never turn over.
Please stop the invalid mixed circle and build effective contacts (deep dry goods) in 6 steps 14.
The second step: contacts regularly go to the turnip to save the turnip.
1. Which of the six types of contact is overcrowded? What kind of people are they in terms of functions, levels and regions-they take up too much of your time, but you should also think about whether it is necessary to do so.
2. Get rid of those who consume your energy excessively or bring bad behavior, or try to reduce contact with them.
3. According to the relationship and function, six types of contacts should be replaced, deleted and added from time to time;
Step 3: Establish six kinds of interpersonal relationships &; Periodic review of classification
(Marking method: describe your contact with a series of indicators and record what you think is important)
1) What kind of address do you like?
2) How did the two sides know each other?
3) Who are their friends?
4) What is everyone's birthday? The yin and yang calendars should be separated, and the year belongs to the zodiac.
5) What is the relationship between the two parties;
6) What is this person's important experience?
7) What are your personal preferences?
8) What about parents and children?
9) Graduate schools;
(Recording method: record the relevant contact with people. E.g., time investment, financial transactions)
1) How much time and financial investment do you give the other party, and the corresponding time and value feedback;
2) Record the reasons and events of each interaction. And be sure to confirm whether you are in the communication range of the other party through communication, not wishful thinking.
1. The annual target is 30 people.
2.3 30 people with new skills/information.
3.30 people in power (resource provision, political support, enterprise guidance, project coordination)
4.20 relatives
5.20 friends
6.20 people who have a sense of life value (both inside and outside are conducive to self-cultivation)
Please stop the invalid mixed circle and build effective contacts (deep dry goods) in 6 steps 14.
Step 4: Expand construction.
(Positioning yourself: Positioning yourself according to the differentiation of six types of contacts: nodes; Expert; Star; Assistant and so on. )
As all brands know, brands should have a "positioning". In fact, each of us also has a personal brand, but we call it "word of mouth". If we want to get good marketing effect in the online market, we should also have a positioning, which is our "personality".
There is a saying that "flowers bloom and fall, and the breeze comes." As long as we make up our minds to be ourselves and live hard according to our own ideas, it will naturally radiate an aura and attract those who recognize us.
Some people may say, "Too personal, you may lose some friends who don't know yourself." I said, brother, you don't have them at all. What's the loss? More than half a sentence, why do you have to twist yourself to meet them? If you want everyone to like you, there is only one result in the end, and that is that everyone doesn't care about you.
Node: I usually know a lot of people. They are probably the initiators of this interpersonal network, or they may be people with wide connections. They are very good at getting along with everyone. Suitable for people: involving many fields; You can find many possibilities among people in the circle.
Experts: Experts are usually people who have information. They know information in a certain field like the back of their hand, so people will rely on them. The right person: knowledgeable; It has specific social resources and advantages.
Star: a person who is good at selling his own views and himself, persuading others and having personality charm. The right person: a person who is attractive, charming and eloquent.
Assistant: Do a lot of coordination services. Suitable people: people who are willing to help everyone and have a green leaf mentality.
(Use good skills: capable image+speak less and listen more+show ability and value in time+show potential when you are not capable)
1. Output your own value, build potential energy, and enlarge your "usable value".
The value of contacts has nothing to do with how long you have known him, and how many times he has drunk. The only thing that matters is how important you are to him. The greater your use value, the more he will help you.
It is better to spend time to improve your personal value than to spend time to know more people. For example:
1) Your post power or personal influence;
2) your financial resources;
3) Your wisdom or professional technical ability;
4) Your personal charm, such as good-looking, humorous and noble personality;
5) Your interpersonal network;
6) Your fame, etc.
2. Do what you like, have a clear goal and take the initiative to strike up a conversation.
Aimless chatting up is a waste of time for both sides. Before you act, you must think clearly about who you want to know. Don't act if you don't think well.
Generally speaking, there is a reason to talk directly. It's best not to say things like "Let's get to know each other, so many friends, so many ways". Everyone is too busy to make friends aimlessly. You'd better have something specific to find him, which is good for him. For example, if you want to see Jiang Nanchun, you'd better say, "Teacher Jiang, our company wants to do outdoor advertising. Can we meet and talk to you? "
The communication of contacts is established step by step, and it is not possible to achieve deep and close cooperation just after meeting. It is suggested that we can start by inviting us to have a working lunch together. When eating, the environment is relaxed. In a relaxed environment, the two sides have a deep understanding and have the opportunity to enter the next step of cooperation.
In communication and negotiation, we should pay attention to creating value for others. Although the purpose is to achieve cooperation, we must first give each other value. You see what you can provide for a potential customer or partner, so you should have a deep understanding of his needs in your chat and see if you can provide these help to each other. Even if it is not to solve a particularly practical problem, it is helpful to provide some information and resources.
3. With the help of * * * the same topic
For example, since we are eating, we can start with eating and chatting. You can talk about how this dish is cooked, what you like to eat at ordinary times and what good restaurants you recommend. Personally, I am a loyal reader of Beijing Consumer Herald and like to try new places very much. If I am good, I will recommend it to my friends. Everyone likes it. It's natural to connect with others with food. And then cut into areas that are familiar to each other.
4. Make good use of the "platform" to get twice the result with half the effort
The platform mentioned here refers to a career that will enable you to gain greater social contact. Typical platforms include: media reporters; Staff of chambers of commerce, industry associations or entrepreneurs' clubs; Staff of non-governmental organizations; Trainers and consultants; Civil servants.
All professions that need to deal with people basically have platform attributes. For example, salespeople can establish contact networks with customers, marketers can establish contact networks with agencies, and buyers can establish contact networks with suppliers. On the other hand, those who have a "platform" behind them are also worthy of making friends, and we can connect to the social network behind them through him.
Create some seemingly "natural" opportunities to meet someone who is not utilitarian. For example, when attending a dinner party, deliberately sit next to the person you want to know.
When you attend a meeting, first say hello to the friend you know, and then he will usually introduce you to the person you are chatting with.
Be introduced
Find a middleman and ask him to introduce you. The other party usually sells a face.
6. Actively establish contacts between circles.
Chatting up can only solve the problem of "understanding". People who are really valuable to you are "familiar". How to achieve this leap? You'd better have at least one "deep communication". An in-depth communication is worth countless casual acquaintances.
When you successfully strike up a conversation with a person, it is best to invite him for in-depth communication once a month. You can invite him out for coffee, visit him in his office, or have dinner together. Some people like to participate in "entertainment" and mix "circles". The input-output ratio of this kind of thing is very low. It is best to control the number of people eating within four, and there is no effective information when more than four people speak.
7. Give first, then take, and create value exchange.
Don't think about value exchange, but want to provide value first. Only by sharing what you are good at with others can you increase your value. Everyone has his own professional field. Anything you know may help you expand your contacts and social circle. When you help others without expecting to be rewarded, others will really open their hearts to you and be willing to help you publicize. A good reputation will naturally bring you new contacts.
For example, take an ordinary bank teller as an example. How many deposits do you need to withdraw a year? Generally, it is about 30 million. I met a fan on Weibo, and she came back from Australia, which made me admire. It stands to reason that her connections in China are definitely not good. She is now working as an account manager in a branch of a bank in Zhejiang, saving 400 million yuan a year. I think this man is awesome. I need to meet him. I happen to be doing a flying horse tour to support the service industry and start-ups. There is a start-up enterprise in Zhejiang that specializes in rural leisure hotels. I met her when I went to see the boss of our startup company. As a result, in a few minutes, she came holding the boss's hand. She told people, "I think we should cooperate." The boss said, "cooperation ... many banks want to cooperate with us." It means a little threshold. So she asked, "What do you do?" The boss said, "We are a leisure hotel." She said, "OK, can I buy a card for my mother?" In fact, this card only cost four or five thousand. After buying the card, she said, "I'll buy your card and you deposit the money with us." They saved it. Her reaction is very quick, as long as it is a relationship, she can contact. As long as it is a dish, go to the basket. It's that simple.
In fact, it is not so difficult to build an independent network. Usually, as long as you can get along with others, they will do the minimum transaction and cooperation with you. For example, there are many people who want to buy insurance, and you happen to be in insurance, so don't push it hard. Spend 500 thousand on an EMBA first, and then develop all the students in this class into your clients. In this way, the first input, there is output.
For example, a restaurant owner is crazy about Jay Chou. You happen to have two tickets for Jay Chou's concert, but suddenly you have other plans and can't use them, so you give them to the restaurant owner. What's his reaction? "Later, I will treat my brother as a canteen. I can eat if I want, and drink if I want. If you give me money, I will be anxious with you. " This has a characteristic. When you give your resources to others, others will give them back to you at a very low cost. This is called resource mismatch.
People get a lot of help when they give first.
I often do this. Before I traveled to Pegasus, I was basically doing public welfare. I often give lectures to my classmates, but I don't charge an appearance fee. If it develops normally, 10 years later, some of them will become bank presidents. When we meet again, we will say, "Mr. Yuan, I listened to your class 15 years ago." If you have a list at this time, you will naturally give it to me first. This is a long-term transaction.
You must keep torturing yourself. Why can others help you? How to ferment your social contacts, others will try to help you? Who you go with will determine your future.
What is a network? Networking is not how many people you know, but how many people want to know you. The person you call is your network resource, and there is no fixed proportion between the number of people you call and the number of people you know.
In the real world, anyone who has the thinking of expanding and managing contacts regards socialization as an investment, hoping to make some "useful friends" through socialization. However, friendship goes both ways. If you want to make useful friends, the premise is that you must also be a "useful person" in the eyes of the other person. If you have no immediate or long-term use value, will others be willing to make friends with you?
So what kind of human resources a person can have depends on his or her own status, wealth, knowledge and other aspects of strength. A person without strength is useless in vanity fair, and a person without use value will naturally not have the ability to expand contacts. Therefore, expanding contacts through social interaction, whether offline or online, is wishful thinking.
Please stop the invalid mixed circle and build effective contacts (deep dry goods) in 6 steps 14.
Step 5: Efficient utilization
1. Pay first, then take, and try to provide value for contacts. The relationship is mutually beneficial.
2. Horizontal thinking on efficient use of contacts: Can you play the role of contacts as efficiently as possible and meet your other needs (such as personal development)?
Step 6: Maintain the relationship
Timely/appropriate time and financial maintenance should be carried out for contacts, and timely things should not be icing on the cake.
1. Be sincere: (Be true to yourself, put yourself in your shoes, and don't be too utilitarian)
2. Maintain equality: (The two sides have a degree of matching, so be confident, and the ability to show is not proof)
Liu Run invited Niuren to share three methods: experience 1: What we have done is valuable and even grateful to Niuren. For example, the entrepreneurs we invite can take this opportunity to pass on their ideas, sentiments and personal brands to more people. Lesson 2: Every entrepreneur represents the enterprise behind him. As representatives of enterprises, they will not only gain a sense of accomplishment and honor, but also let more people know the business philosophy and values of enterprises in terms of business value. Lesson 3: This matter should be valuable not only to the guests, but also to me and the users. When a thing is worthless to one of the parties, it can't be done. Besides, we treat these guests with full respect and consideration. For example, we will respect the time and arrangement of these guests and not kidnap them. At the same time, our team will screen out ten questions for the professor in the early stage, and the other party will choose two or three questions, which not only gives the guests room to choose, but also reduces the workload of the other party as much as possible.
Frankly speaking, I seldom spend time managing my contacts myself. Personally, I think a friendship between gentlemen is as light as water. Good interpersonal relationship, there is no need to eat together every day, or send a gift on holidays. Many people try their best to please others or manage their own contacts in order to help you one day. This state is not right.
The way to keep in touch with others is simple. For example, if I hear an idea or see some information, and suddenly feel that this idea or information may be helpful to my entrepreneurial friend, I will give it to him directly. I didn't really have any purpose, just thought it was valuable to others, so I gave it to him. Yes, this is a basic mentality that you should always keep-putting your own value on others without reservation.
Then at this time, this thing is already the most basic networking method and logic. If you keep playing and glowing, and find that you can't help some people, it only means that you are of no value to them for the time being, and he is not your network for the time being. Slowly wait until one day, when you have the ability to help him, he will feel your help. I think it is very important to help others as much as possible, without any purpose. Therefore, I will insist on sharing my new ideas in my circle of friends. Even many friends have developed the habit of turning over my circle of friends every day, because they think my sharing is valuable.
3. Remember to pay: your network is based on your "used value" (say it, take the initiative to pay, ask others for help, and pay at the same time)
4. Less "buttering up" and more "helping each other"
In the online market, those celebrities and high-end people are like hot stocks. Everyone wants it, but the threshold is too high. How can small investors cling to them? Even if you spend a lot of money to buy tickets for a press conference, or even take a photo with Mr. Ma at the scene, what can you do? Buttering up to this matter costs the most and gains the least. My suggestion is to do as little as possible.
We should invest in two kinds of people:
The first category is people at our level. Our social status is close, our life stages are close, and we have the greatest intersection when doing things. We have an equal "mutual assistance" relationship. In fact, diaosi counterattack is usually carried out by a group of people. Have you ever heard of MANET, Cezanne, Monet, Renoir and pissarro? They are all famous impressionist painters. 150 years ago, they often gathered in the Garbova Cafe in Paris. * * * created a new school of impressionism, and * * * shared the reputation of a world-class painter.
The second category should invest in people who are slightly lower than our social status, such as subordinates and young people, and we should try our best to "support" them. If a person wants to go up, he needs not only the support from above, but also the support from below. Without any power, you can't get on.
5. Cherish your character, your circle is very small (you have to pay it back sooner or later).
In interpersonal communication, reputation is particularly important. Refers to the evaluation and impression of others on you. You should take protecting your reputation as the most important thing.
The reputation is based on a responsible attitude, and your helpful attitude will naturally get a good evaluation. Your reputation determines whether you can integrate into other people's circles as quickly as possible and get recognition from others.
6. Networking is investment, not consumption.
Networking is also an investment. What is the investment goal? It is "face".
Face is equivalent to stocks in the online market. Giving someone a face is equivalent to buying 1 shares issued by him. When you need it, you can ask him to give you a face back, which is equivalent to selling the stock. If the stock is thrown away, it will be gone. Don't use it easily. Use it once and it will be less. If you can solve it with money, try to solve it directly with money. If you can't solve it with money, try to save face.