Correct your two misunderstandings. If you understand these two misunderstandings, you will actually understand how to cultivate.

The first misunderstanding: Courage is not exercised, but cultivated.

Many parents have this misconception that they need to train their children to make them braver. This is completely wrong.

Exercise is based on "being", and that is called exercise. For example, exercising requires that the body itself has a certain foundation. But if you want to talk about training children to "courage", it is completely wrong, because children may not have this courage.

You throw a child who doesn’t understand anything into a strange environment and then teach him to exercise his courage. Do you think this is appropriate? In other words, do you think it’s appropriate for me to throw you into the sea to exercise your swimming ability? The most likely possibility is that he died in it because he didn't exercise enough in swimming.

The same is true for children.

Children will be scared when they enter a strange environment. How can they have the courage to make friends? At this time, when parents see that their children are timid, they will criticize their children, "Why are you so timid?" and "Go up boldly to play with other children"... It's just like me saying to you, "Don't be afraid, swim boldly." Listen. Are you not afraid after saying this?

So this kind of exercise method is nonsense.

Children's courage is cultivated, not exercised. It grew up bit by bit, from scratch. When children show some brave behavior, parents should give timely encouragement and praise to let the children realize that they are brave. In this way, the children's self-confidence will gradually build up and they will become more and more brave.

The second mistake: There must be a way to train him, not just throw him into the group of children and leave him alone

Parents hope that their children will make friends, but they never think about teaching them How to make friends with children. Including practicing courage, parents have not taught their children relevant skills. How can children have the courage to make friends?

Most parents don’t realize that making friends requires skills. They think that making friends is a kind of instinct, and you can understand it by playing more with other children. If only it were that easy.

Better parents may teach their children this sentence: "Go and tell that kid that we can play together." But is this kind of talk useful? Observe your children. When other children are having fun, if your child says something like this, will their child play with your child? Not at all, because children are self-centered. He is immersed in his own game. If you interrupt him and don't scold you, even if he is good, how can he still play with you? So such so-called techniques are purely useless techniques.

So how should children make friends with others?

In fact, the method is very simple. The child does not need to ask, "Can we play together?" The child only needs to observe what other children are playing, and then play next to them, and exchange a few words from time to time, or help Each other, everyone can become good friends and play together.

For example, if other children are stacking blocks and your child wants to join in, your child can stack blocks next to them, or pass the blocks to the other person to help him complete his creation better. At this time, It will be easier for the other child to accept your child.

If the child is not proficient in this method, parents can practice in advance at home and role-play to teach the child the corresponding skills. When a child has the skills to make friends, he will know how to make friends with other children and will have more courage. As a result, the child will become better and better at making friends.

This is the correct way to raise children.

Timidity and cowardice may be a common problem among many children today, so many parents are somewhat worried about whether these deficiencies in their children's sexual characteristics will affect their later social development, especially when some young children leave their parents for the first time. When entering kindergarten, parents are even more worried that their children will not be able to make friends, so what can be done to change this situation: 1. What are the symptoms of timid children:

Dear parents, do you think your children are timid? What are the performances of the small group? Are you afraid of the dark, afraid to sleep alone, or what? Personally, I feel that if a child is timid in the following three aspects, it should be taken seriously:

1. He will not take the initiative to say hello to any strangers

Except for those he is particularly familiar with. , the child hardly talks to anyone, and even to some common questions such as "How old are you?", the child does not answer any questions. Tomorrow, when your parents are forcing you to answer a question or two, you will barely answer one or two questions, and the answer will be so low that you can hardly hear it, or the answer will be suddenly loud and fast, so that you can hardly hear what is being said.

2. They like to lower their heads when talking to others.

Children always speak very quietly whether they are talking to children or elders, or they make various small movements with their hands, which often indicates that The child is quite scared at this time and lacks confidence. This often occurs because the child is worried about being punished or that what he or she says will not be recognized.

3. Like to play by themselves

There are always children like this in community courtyards or kindergartens. They often seem to be out of tune with other children and play well by themselves. Take the initiative to communicate with other children. Even under the guidance of his parents, he would play with other children for a while and then go away. 2. What are the reasons for timidity in children:

1. Overprotection by elders

Is this kind of situation extremely common? Parents seem to want to avoid possible harm to their children from the outside world. Minimize it, but ignore one point, which also deprives the children of opportunities to practice. Once there are things in the outside world that are beyond the child's knowledge, the child is likely to choose to retreat to his parents and become timid and fearful of trouble.

2. Parents’ impatience

This is the most easily overlooked thing in daily education. Because parents are busy at work or for other reasons, they do not respond to their children’s problems or ask them to play with them. When children are impatient or tired of coping, they will become cautious or even afraid to ask their parents for help when something beyond their cognitive scope occurs and they need help from their parents.

3. Parents arbitrarily think that their children are timid.

Many parents find that their children talk at home and dare not speak when they go out. After guiding them twice with no effect, they think that their children are timid. He often tells others that his child is timid in front of the child, which makes the child unconsciously realize that he is timid. Then he became less and less confident.

4. Frequently scare children at will

In daily life, many parents may have said similar things when faced with disobedient children, including myself. In fact, I gradually realized that if you often scare your children in this way, it will easily cause psychological shadow in the children.

Children are not born timid. In many cases, it is due to parents’ neglect of education and failure to deal with problems in a timely or improper way after discovering problems, which may lead to psychological deficiencies in children. This is especially true for "a bull in the nest and a bear outside" 3. How should parents guide?

Before saying what to do, I would like to say that it is not a problem for children to be timid.

Because children will become timid and introverted after the age of 1, I would like to emphasize again that if a child is particularly timid, he must have an inseparable relationship with his parents. It is recommended that parents do the following:

1. Demonstrate to the child how to do:

If the child does not want to have contact with other children, parents can first let the child stand next to them, and the parents can say to other children on their behalf, "Can you let me play with your toys?" Then let this person guide the child and say that most children will usually give it to you at this time, or the disciple next to you will also guide the child to give the toy. Once children see the benefits of communication, they will generally be willing to do it after trying it a few times.

2. Guide children through details

To give a small example, if a child does not like to say hello, I personally think that in addition to being timid, there is also a lack of recognition. Parents can choose a familiar neighbor and let their children try it. The parents will accompany their children to shout together, and after the shouting, ask the neighbor to give them some snacks as a reward. The children will gradually develop a sense of identity.

3. How to get in touch with more different playmates:

There is actually no good way to do this, that is, parents take their children out to play more, such as participating in interest classes. Let interest become a bridge between children and other playmates. Just like adult interactions, how can we play together if we don't have the same language and the same hobbies? Again, parents help find friends with similar personalities to their children to play with.

4. Positive feedback

As mentioned above, children’s timidity and other situations are closely related to their parents. This includes parents’ treatment of their children for various reasons. ignore. Therefore, if you find that your child is timid or introverted, parents must be more patient and it is best to guide the child in a divergent manner. For example, after a child has built a building, parents can ask the child where the parents live, whether there is a living room, etc.

The last thing I want to say is that if your child is "timid and scared", please tell your child that it doesn't matter. This is normal. Ask your child where they are afraid, and then accompany your child to eliminate the reasons for fear. Build children's courage bit by bit. Secondly, don’t let your child stay at home all the time. Taking him out for more walks is a helpful method. Let your child understand at all times that his parents will support him and will not ignore him or not love him because he is afraid.

In real life, we often hear some parents say that their children are timid and shy, dare not socialize with their peers, and dare not express themselves gracefully. Parents feel very worried.

Indeed, the courage to express oneself is a very precious quality. Many children lack self-confidence and dare not take the initiative to communicate with their peers. So how to take corresponding countermeasures according to the child's situation?

First of all, in daily life, we should pay attention to communicating more with our children. Many parents and children lack verbal communication, especially those with elderly people taking care of their children. Therefore, no matter how busy you are or how naive your child’s questions are, as a parent you must listen carefully and answer questions carefully so that he can understand the meaning of your expression. Fun, and you can also use storytelling to enrich your children's vocabulary. In a certain storyline, children will easily understand these words. Only when the words are accumulated to a certain extent, can children express their thoughts freely and slowly regain their self-confidence.

Secondly, we must help children overcome their inferiority complex. In a sense, allowing children to dare to express themselves is to make them confident. What children with low self-esteem and timid needs most is encouragement and praise. Parents must choose some tasks that are easy for their children to complete based on their actual abilities and let them complete them independently, so that they can experience the joy of success. If a child fails, he must not be criticized, let alone ridiculed. Instead, he should be encouraged in a timely manner for every bit of progress he makes.

Children are afraid to communicate with their peers. Parents should be considerate and invite more children to their homes. Parents can take the initiative to let their children greet their peers, because the desire for expression arises with the budding self-awareness of children. The happier the child is, the stronger the desire for expression will be.

A timid child is unwilling to express himself simply because he feels uneasy when facing the gaze of others. Therefore, parents should expand their children's communication scope, let them often face unfamiliar people and environments, and gradually reduce their uneasiness.

Third, we must create opportunities for children to perform and take them out of the small home. Encourage him to face the eyes of strangers and show himself bravely. Gatherings with relatives and friends are a good choice. Children may be more relaxed when facing familiar people. If the child is still unwilling to take the initiative to communicate with others at this time, parents should not put pressure on him and can give him a smile or a hug. Because being too demanding will cause the child to be rebellious. Only by respecting the child's ideas can he develop a positive attitude and become confident and bold.

My answer may not be that formal, but it has had some effect on my own children, so I will only share my experience with you.

Later, Bao’s mother did this:

1. Take more outdoor activities with your children

2. Go to places with many children

3. Fear comes from the unknown. This world is wonderful and there are many things to explore

4. Parents should communicate more with their children, starting with the people around them

5. Respect And accept the child's timidity and loneliness

Today a grandmother of twins asked me the same question. Let me share my experience.

My eldest son is also a timid child. He cries when he sees strangers, and he is even less willing to play with other children. I don’t know how many nights I cried because of this problem, because first Being a mother for the first time, I have no experience of being very worried and anxious. Later, I asked many mothers for advice, and I guided my children based on their actual conditions. My eldest son has indeed made progress and is now a positive, optimistic and sunny little boy.

Regarding training children’s courage and guiding them to have more contact with playmates, my methods are as follows:

1. Parents should accompany their children more: My eldest son is timid. It is true that his father spends too little time with him, especially his father. When boys grow up, they imitate their fathers, and girls imitate their mothers. Children whose parents spend too little time with them are generally timid because they lack love deep in their hearts. Lack of security. The grandmother of the twins said the same thing today. The parents of the children are too busy.

2. Take your children to play in places with many children: I often take my children to the park to play. There are many children there. If your child does not want to play with other children at first, don’t force him to do so. , take him to the park every day, and he will see these children every day. He will watch other children playing every day, and he will also like other children's toys, so he will be guided to bring his own toys to exchange with other children. Adults After observation, we can find children with better personalities to exchange toys, and they will usually be successful. In this way, the children will gradually become more and more courageous and willing to play with other children. The children playing in the park are all children nearby. If they meet and play together often, he will also make good friends. Having children play with him is more useful than adults talking to him many times.

3. People taking care of children should guide their children to say hello to others: If they go downstairs and see a neighbor's child, the adult should first say: "How is my brother or sister?" and at the same time guide the child to say, "It's okay if he doesn't say hello" It doesn't matter. When I go downstairs and see people calling out grandparents, uncles and aunts, the child just won't speak, but he will always observe what the adults do. To be honest, I don’t know how many times I shouted and guided me. Suddenly one day my son took the initiative to say hello to others and no longer hid behind me. People who have children will talk a lot more. Generally, people with children will not exclude people with children from saying hello.

This is my experience. Children are timid and unwilling to play with their peers. Don’t worry and be anxious. The more anxious and anxious the adults are, the worse it will be. The children are still young. As they get older, they need to be patient with their families. Guide and believe in your child, he will become more and more bold and like to play with other children.

Some children usually love to sing and dance at home, but when they go outside, they become timid and shy. For example, when they see many children playing together in the community, I am eager to join the children and play together, but I am afraid to come forward, fearing that I will be rejected. Shy children generally obey social rules, but shyness can also hinder children's social interactions, which is not conducive to children's establishment of close relationships with peers and social adaptation. The reasons for children's shyness are roughly as follows:

1. Shyness in early childhood is related to the development of children's self-awareness. Children aged 3 or 4 begin to realize the behavioral standards expected by others, gradually internalize them, and rely on the evaluations of others to make self-evaluations. Children become more and more sensitive to other people's blame and praise, and thus develop complex social emotions such as shame and guilt. Shyness is worry and fear of others' evaluation, and it is a child's defensive withdrawal to avoid expected self-deprecation.

2. Children’s shyness may also come from genetics. Inherited the "shy gene" from his parents. If a child's parent is shy, the child is likely to be shy as well.

3. Children’s shyness is also closely related to parents’ parenting style.

1) Parents are overprotective of their children. Worried that the children will be harmed in any way, they are rarely exposed to unfamiliar environments. The children rarely have social communication, resulting in the children not knowing how to face strange situations and not knowing how to interact with other children.

2) Parents label their children as "timid and shy". Parents often say to others in front of their children: "My child is too timid and shy to play with other children." With repeated repetition by parents, children will internalize this label and think that I am really timid and shy, and I don’t want to interact with other people. Parents can refer to the following suggestions on how to exercise their children's courage and guide them to have more contact with different playmates:

1. Parents should not over-protect their children and increase their children's chances of contact with the outside world. Take your children to interact with other children outside more often, so that they can have the opportunity to learn how to interact with others in practice.

2. Parents should affirm and encourage their children more often, and do not be too strict with their children. Avoid psychological pressure on children caused by negative evaluations, and do not blindly and negatively anticipate the evaluations of others.

3. When a child shows withdrawal, parents should not be anxious, give the child time to adapt, and do not forcefully blame the child. They can set an example for the child first, and then encourage the child to participate.

For example, when seeing children playing in the community, parents do not have to rush to let their children go over to play. They can let their children observe and tell them who these people are, so that the children can feel comfortable with it. In the process, encourage him to say to other children: "Can I play with you?" If the child is embarrassed to speak at the beginning, parents can also help the child speak first and then introduce the child to the topic. When children take the first step of trying, parents give their children recognition and appreciation.

4. Parents usually organize more activities and invite children they are familiar with in the community to play at home to cultivate their children's social skills. When other children come to the house, you can arrange some interactive activities instead of watching cartoons. You can draw together, play toys with the same theme, and role-playing games, so that every child can participate in the game.

Conclusion: When a child is timid and shy, parents should calmly analyze the reasons and not be impatient. To change the child's shy character and cultivate a child who is cheerful and generous and dares to contact others, what is needed is long-term exercise. and guidance.

Parents must learn to understand their children's hearts and help them understand and cope with this beautiful world.

We would be delighted to answer your questions.

I am the mother of a seven-year-old child. My child was very timid when he was in kindergarten. He would hide away when other children came to play with him. I remember that during a parent-child trip, the teacher asked the parents to stand aside while the students gathered to play games. My child held my hand and couldn't go through, and kept crying. Later, when I was free to move around, I would stick to me and not play with others. Sometimes I argue with his father and he is so scared that he keeps crying. So I found that this has a lot to do with parental guidance and family atmosphere.

Later, I spent a certain amount of time taking him to the park to play every day. Gradually, he became less timid as he got in touch with other children more. I would encourage him to do things like slides and horizontal bars that he didn’t dare to play with. Play with him and let him learn to dare to try, so that he will gradually become bold and confident.

It is also very important to let children grow up in a harmonious and friendly environment in the family. Any unhappiness between adults should be resolved privately. Don't argue in front of the child, which will make the child feel insecure.

Now my child is a very sunny, confident and courageous little boy.

Teacher Jiu Ming introduced this in the child cultivation manual:

First, provide a sense of security

Second, give the child a sense of capability

The method is:

1. What is he afraid of?

Let the child tell what exactly he is afraid of?

2. ***Emotion

When a child expresses to you what he is afraid of, be sure to put yourself in his shoes and give him understanding.

3. Tell the facts: For example, when speaking in public, even if the speech is not good, what are the real opinions of teachers and parents, what are the imaginary ghosts like in reality, etc., so that children can understand objective facts .

4. Desensitization

After the first three points are laid out, then cut the fear into several small stages, and rate the fear of each small stage.

Every pair of parents longs for their timid child to become brave, but I want to say that true bravery is not not being afraid, but having the courage to face or accept it when you are afraid.

Only when a child's heart is filled with the sense of security you give him, will he bravely explore.

I have a baby boy. When I was a child, when I encountered firecrackers, thunder, etc., no matter what I was doing, I rushed over to save him immediately. I would also say: Mom is here, don’t be afraid. Later, a week and a half later, when other children were frightened and cried when encountering firecrackers, he would want to push me away to see what it was like to set off firecrackers.

The same goes for people. When you take your children to play outside, the kind of child who always sticks to his mother's side is not because the child is timid, but because the family does not love him enough. Respect your children's needs and don't care about other people's opinions. We adults are not perfect either, so don't be too demanding on your children.

If a child is too timid and this situation has not been corrected, the child's interpersonal interactions will be subject to certain restrictions when he grows up. And we know that good interpersonal communication is directly related to a person's success. So if children are timid, parents should help them develop their courage. So how to exercise your child's courage? Let’s explore this topic together. Why children are timid

1. Environmental factors. Nowadays, most people live in commercial housing. The closed environment of each household means that children lack living space to interact with their peers, resulting in children's lonely and timid character.

2. Innate factors. The parents are introverted and not good at interacting with others, and the children inherit the characteristics of their parents. Parents should understand their children's personalities and allow their children to gradually adapt. At the same time, try to give your children as much care and love as possible, and encourage them to interact with others.

Parents should be role models for their children and should not show fear of getting into trouble in front of their children whenever something happens. How to train children's courage

1. Don't show disappointment in your child's performance, as this will aggravate his inferiority complex.

2. Encourage children to express themselves more and give them some opportunities. For example, tell stories and verbally describe what you have done.

3. Try to avoid comparing him with children who are more outgoing than him, although you can encourage him to learn from more outgoing children.

4. Do not encourage quiet and introverted behavior in front of him, or praise the timid behavior of other children.

5. As long as it is something that he can complete independently, do not interfere or even give guidance.

6. As long as you feel there is no danger, encourage him to go find other children to play alone.

7. Let him try to deal with setbacks by himself.

8. Let children try to be bold and have fun expressing themselves. As long as he develops interest, he will try it himself. How to expose children to different playmates

We can teach children some tips for joining group games. Children are mostly attracted to other people's toys. So when a child wants to play with other children, parents may wish to let the child walk over with his or her own toys. Tell him that if other children want to play, they can lend it to him and play with him. This is also an effective way to integrate children into group games.

Summary: Now parents should understand how to train their children's courage. In normal times, parents can try to let their children contact more people. And if there are some things that the child can do, let the child do it by himself. If the child cannot do it for the time being, he should be encouraged to do it by himself. These can help children develop their courage.