The divorce rate remains high, and there are a large number of divorced young people in both urban and rural areas. Whether they should divorce is also different.
For example, in marriage, two people quarrel because of a few words, and even fight. So should we get a divorce?
There are many comments on the Internet. Someone said, "You have to leave. Domestic violence only happens once, many times. I can't beat you next time, and I can't find it." What do you want such a person to do? "
Some people say, "get through it or go on." If you leave, you can't find a better one, it's not good for children, and life will not be too good. "
In fact, no matter which statement is correct, every statement that does not know the truth is wrong.
Only two people know exactly how things happen, and what kind of psychological state two people have evolved into a fight, even only they know. When telling others, no matter how hard we try to describe the facts, the truth will be biased, because our self-protection mechanism will prompt us to express things in a direction that is beneficial to us, so only the parties themselves know best whether to divorce or not.
So how do the parties judge whether they should divorce?
As long as you can't leave a divorce, you should leave without regret. It is also good for your child's growth, that is, divorce should come from love, and divorce is good for everyone.
This may not be easy to understand, since love, why divorce?
Love here is love in a broad sense, love for partners, love for children, love for both parents, love for themselves, love for work and love for life. We love these, so we don't want to be influenced by all kinds of quarrels.
We still love each other, but our personalities are incompatible, or for other reasons, it is really not suitable to be together again. We choose to separate, not because we don't love each other, but because we love everything. Separation can make everyone live better, so we divorce.
Only for this reason, the divorce decision is correct. Even after divorce, there is no resentment, anger and loss in my heart, but a full sense of satisfaction, so that I can bring better education to my children and take better care of my parents, and divorce is meaningful.
Back to the beginning, should we divorce if there is a quarrel or a fight? The answer is in your heart.
Although it's noisy, I still think it's better to live together, so don't divorce. I'm not ready for a divorce. Even if you leave on impulse, you will inevitably regret it afterwards. If quarrels again and again make you feel hopeless in life, and being apart from each other is good for you, your other half, your children and your parents, then choose to be apart and give each other a better life.
When we listen to our inner voice and make a choice, if we decide to divorce, I believe many people will be worried about the life after divorce and afraid of the unknown future.
A divorced friend once told me, "I want to be single all my life before divorce, and I want to find a man after divorce."
It never occurred to her that she was hurt by marriage. She still has a beautiful imagination about marriage and wants to find someone to live with. But this idea is so natural.
In fact, this is not surprising. Man is a gregarious animal. Coupled with the enormous pressure of life in modern society, people want to find someone to rely on.
So, can you find the perfect partner after divorce?
Read three books first? Real case.
The first case is a friend of mine. Living in Beijing with her ex-husband, after the divorce, she took her children back to her hometown and second-tier cities alone. Know your current husband through the dating platform. She has a house in a second-tier city, a girl, her current husband has a house and a villa, and a boy. When they met, they treated each other with sincerity, and the household registration book and real estate license were verified. Now getting married and living together is good for each other's children and stable.
I believe everyone can see that this is a better ending for remarriage. Find a partner with better economic conditions, live a carefree life, trust each other and be good to children. But after all, both of them have their own children and have their own considerations, but they will all consider each other. Compared with the first marriage, you need to pay more trust, patience and hard work to run it.
The second case is a real case shared by girlfriends. This woman has been living in Shanghai. After the divorce, she took a girl, a house and a high income. The man is from Shanghai, divorced with two children, multiple suites and stable job. Two people have known each other for two years, and their feelings are stable. They met each other's parents and traveled together, which is also very good for each other's children, but neither of them proposed further development. Even the woman once said that she enjoyed her present life, but she felt something was wrong.
Of course there is something wrong with her life. If two people are single and unmarried, there is no problem with this mode of getting along, but there is a problem because there is no expression and intention to establish a relatively stable life. As male and female friends, we all feel very comfortable, happy together, unhappy at any time, money does not interfere with each other, parents do not interfere with each other, that is to say, life is not deeply blended, so the loose relationship is always scattered, and people expect a stable and harmonious intimate relationship.
This state after divorce is more common and comfortable, but it is still impossible to establish a stable intimate relationship.
The third case is my colleague. This colleague divorced for many years and took a boy alone. Now this boy has gone to college. In fact, I didn't know about her divorce until one day when we were sitting together, she suddenly said, "My task has finally been completed, so I can take a break." I thought she had encountered something difficult, so I quickly asked if I could help, only to learn that she had been divorced for many years and had been taking care of the children alone. It's not that no one introduced her, but that she doesn't like it if the other party can't accept that she has children. Now, everyone understands and respects taking care of children, but when it comes to themselves, many people can't accept it. My colleague, who is married, doesn't want to find someone to marry casually, and cares more about the children, so he has been single for so many years and doesn't know. I'm afraid only she knows how many difficult days she has gone through.
Through these three cases, it is not difficult to see that divorce is nothing more than several ways for women: staying single, finding divorced children, and finding divorced children. As far as the middle income level is concerned, if you don't have a high enough EQ, none of these three paths will be very simple.
Of course, this does not mean that there will be no happiness after divorce, but the probability will be relatively low. This fact should be recognized by everyone who wants to divorce or has divorced. Only in this way can we really find the perfect other half.
That's why my divorced friend said to me, "If you can, don't get divorced."
In fact, sometimes it is easier to operate than to find a new one.