First of all, we must establish an idea: harmony is more important.
In China's philosophy of life, the golden mean is regarded as a classic, and its essence is to attach importance to harmony. Colleagues, as your working partners, will inevitably have conflicts of interest or other problems. When dealing with these contradictions, the first solution you think of should be reconciliation. After all, under the same roof, if you look up but don't look down, if you let anyone ruin your mood, you may suffer in the future, not others. Living in harmony with colleagues, in the eyes of your boss, your weight will rise to a higher level, because the harmonious handling of interpersonal relationships is not only the need of survival, but also the need of work and life.
It is easy to get along with colleagues. Harmonious colleague relationship makes your work and life with colleagues around you simpler and more efficient.
If you want to have a harmonious colleague relationship, you must also remember one sentence: "A friendship between gentlemen is as light as water".
Everyone works in the same company, and personal friendship is definitely very different. There is a natural relationship between distance and closeness. The key to the problem is how to deal with this "far and near" relationship.
We can recall who we tend to have an opinion about. In fact, we have no objection to who is closely related to whom and who is alienated from whom, because for ourselves, there are also close people and relatively ordinary people. We don't even have any complaints about colleagues giving excuses to their friends for making mistakes, because no one has many good brothers and sisters to hide when something happens. However, when we found that this relationship between distance and distance began to expand because of the same interests, and even there was intrigue and rivalry, we began to frown.
This situation is a taboo within an excellent team, and it can even be said that it is the beginning of the disintegration and differentiation of a team, and the result is the paralysis of the whole team.
In order to avoid this situation, what we have to do is to control the close relationship with our colleagues. We should think that no matter whether your relationship with colleagues is close or distant, it is your personal relationship, and this relationship goes beyond work and should not have any influence on your work.
Although the reason is simple, the feelings between people are not as easy to control as described in the text. Although you know clearly in your heart, "I can never bring personal relationships to work." But more often, many behaviors are natural expressions of personal likes and dislikes, and you don't even feel it yourself. So, what should we do in this case? Is to control the degree of closeness, the best way is "a friendship between gentlemen is as light as water".
The formation and maintenance of good friends require conditions. To be more specific, it is very important to be good friends, but there is another point, that is, there can be no obvious conflict of interest between two people. It is difficult for two people with obvious conflict of interests and obvious or hidden competition of interests to become good friends. Even two people who have become good friends, in the face of obvious conflicts of interest and competition, often make their feelings deadlocked. Because human nature is selfish, no one can escape.
Because of this, in the company, it is best to have a friendship between gentlemen as light as water. Because the company is an occasion full of obvious competition and conflicts of interest, there are too many factors that affect and interfere with the relationship between people. Contradictions and cracks are too easy to appear between good friends, and these contradictions and cracks are basically inevitable, even if people have the best subjective hope.
Secondly, we must learn to respect our colleagues.
In interpersonal communication, your attitude towards others often determines the attitude of others towards yourself. Therefore, if you want to gain the goodwill and respect of others, you must first respect others.
Research shows that everyone has a strong desire for friendship and respect. Therefore, saving face is really a big * * * of people. At work, if you are not careful, you may inadvertently say something embarrassing to your colleagues. On the surface, he may just feel guilty on the surface, but his heart may have been seriously bruised. In the future, the other person may refuse to associate with you because of his injured self-esteem.
A philosopher once asked the question: Who is putting on airs, the general or the gatekeeper? The answer is the doorman. Because the general has abundant capital, he doesn't need shelf support. The same is true in real life. People with advantages are often generous, with enough self-esteem and face, and there is no need for others to add them.
People who are in your class or even worse than you in some aspects are likely to show strong self-esteem because of their inferiority complex. His little face needs your careful care. If you can communicate with people in an equal manner, they will feel respected and have a good impression on you. So, remember, there is no friendship without respect.
To respect colleagues, we should consciously keep their secrets.
There are only two channels for us to know the secrets of our colleagues. One is that this man told us himself, and the other is that he tried his best to tell us himself.
If others tell us themselves, we can really "commit suicide". People trust us so much, how can they spread other people's privacy casually?
So, what if we learned the news through other channels?
Then let the news jam in our place! Let these messages terminate here, and the distribution channels are completely cut off here.
Although we all know these truths, sometimes, our mouths inadvertently let the wind out. For example, when you are having fun with everyone, when you are excited, you forget everything and say whatever comes to mind. Anyway, everyone is very happy! For another example, if you have an awkward quarrel with someone, you will get angry in your heart, and all your friendship and Jianghu morality will be brushed aside. I will give you a big blow and reveal the secret.
Such a situation is too likely to happen. How can we avoid it? One of the best ways is to simply swallow and rot in your stomach after hearing other people's things. One day rotten, two days rotten. In short, don't let your mouth get you into trouble. The ancients said that "disaster comes from the mouth." In the company, in this interpersonal circle, this sentence should be written on everyone's desk, always alert yourself!
Third, try to avoid conflicts with colleagues.
Colleagues and you work in the same unit and meet almost every day. It is inevitable that all kinds of trivial things will happen to each other. Everyone's personality, temperament, advantages and disadvantages are also exposed, especially everyone's behavioral shortcomings and personality weaknesses are exposed much more, which will lead to various relationships and conflicts. Some of these relationships and conflicts are superficial, some are behind the scenes, some are open and some are hidden. When all kinds of unpleasantness are intertwined, all kinds of contradictions will arise.
Colleagues can still communicate with each other when there are contradictions. First, the opinions between any colleagues often stem from some specific events and do not involve other aspects of the individual. After things have passed, such conflicts and contradictions may last for a period of time due to people's thinking inertia, but they will gradually fade away after a long time. So, don't be upset by small opinions in the past. As long as you are generous and don't take the past seriously, the other party will treat you with the same open-minded attitude.
Second, even if the other person still has some prejudice against you, it doesn't prevent you from interacting with him. Because in the communication between colleagues, what we pursue is not the friendship and feelings between friends, but just work. It doesn't matter if there are contradictions between them, as long as both sides can cooperate in their work. Because the work itself involves the interests of both sides, how to cooperate and whether things are successful are related to both sides. If the other person is a smart person, he will naturally think of this, so he will try his best to cooperate with you. If the other party is stubborn, you might as well point it out to him in cooperation or * * * to facilitate cooperation between the two sides.
It's not terrible to have conflicts between colleagues. As long as we can face the reality and actively take measures to resolve contradictions, colleagues will still be reconciled, even better than before.
You should take the initiative to solve the contradiction between colleagues. You might as well try to put aside past prejudices and treat these people more positively, at least like others. At first, they will be wary and will think that this is a trap and ignore it. Be patient, no problem. It's really a waste of time to settle past grievances. You should persist in being kind to them and improve little by little. After a while, as soon as the water in the sun evaporates, the problems between you will disappear.
If a colleague is older than you, you shouldn't confront him when things happen unless you are sure that your reasons are very good. A better way is to solve it after both of you calm down. Even in this case, it is unlikely that the problem will be directly pointed out and solved. We can talk about some related issues. Of course, you can ask questions in your own way. If you do something wrong and are accused, re-examine the problem and sincerely apologize. Words like "It's my fault" can work miracles.
After you make the above efforts, you can basically solve the contradiction between colleagues. If you meet some stubborn people who are still unwilling to reconcile with you after your efforts, don't be sad. There's nothing anyone can do when they meet such people. The problem is not you. Don't worry about going to work, ignore such people.
Finally, learn to deal with various colleagues.
Everyone has his own unique lifestyle and personality. In the company, there are always some people who are difficult to deal with, such as arrogant people, rigid people, people with excessive self-esteem and so on. Therefore, you must adopt different communication strategies according to people's needs.
-dealing with colleagues who are too arrogant.
Dealing with arrogant and rude colleagues will inevitably make people unhappy, but sometimes you have to get in touch with them At this time, you might as well take such measures:
First, try to reduce the time with him. During the limited time with him, you should try your best to fully express your views and don't give him a chance to show arrogance.
Second, the conversation is concise. Try to clearly explain your purpose and requirements in short sentences. Giving each other a crisp and neat impression also makes it difficult for him to show his pride, even if he wants to put on airs.
-dealing with colleagues who are too rigid.
When dealing with such a person, you don't have to pay attention to his cold face. On the contrary, you should be enthusiastic, use your enthusiasm to resolve his indifference, carefully observe his words and deeds, and find out what he is interested in and cares about.
When dealing with such people, you must be patient and don't rush for success. As long as you have the same topic with him, I believe that his rigidity will disappear and he will show rare enthusiasm. Only in this way can a more harmonious relationship be established.
-Dealing with aggressive colleagues.
Some colleagues are arrogant, like to show off, always lose no time to show themselves, try to show superiority, and get the upper hand in all aspects. Although many people don't like this kind of person, they always belittle him everywhere in order not to hurt their feelings.
However, in some cases, your tolerance will be regarded as a kind of weakness, and even you will be disrespected and looked down upon. For such people, you should discourage them in time. Let him know that there are mountains outside the mountains and people outside, and don't be ignorant of the vast land.
-Dealing with colleagues with deep talents.
This kind of person is not short of opinions on things, but he will never express his opinions easily unless he has to or comes naturally. This kind of person is usually calculating when interacting with others, always hiding his true colors, hoping to know more about each other, so as to take the initiative in communication and be invincible in various contradictions.
When dealing with such people, you must be prepared. Don't let him fully grasp all your secrets and details, let alone be used by him, so that he can't extricate himself from his trap.
-colleagues who deal with false promises.
A man with honey in his mouth and a knife in his stomach, "Ming is a pot of fire, and darkness is a knife." The best way to deal with such colleagues is to stay away, avoid if you can, and avoid if you can.
If this kind of person intends to approach you in the office, you should find a reason to avoid it and try not to work with him. Are inseparable. You might as well keep a work diary every day to prepare for the future.
-Dealing with impatient colleagues.
When you meet impatient colleagues, you must keep calm. You can take a tolerant attitude towards his recklessness, laugh it off and try to avoid quarreling.
-Dealing with mean colleagues.
A mean person likes to expose his shortcomings when arguing with others, leaving no room and no feelings. They are used to cynicism, digging up other people's privacy, and often take pleasure in making fun of others. They are out of line, immoral, unreasonable and unreasonable. They will embarrass those who offend themselves in front of everyone and hold their heads up among their colleagues.
When you meet such a colleague, you should keep your distance from him and try not to provoke him. After a small loss, if you hear a gossip or two, you should pretend not to hear it, and keep a corresponding distance from him.
-30 principles for learning to get along with colleagues
1. No matter what happens, you should first think about whether you have done something wrong. If you are right (that's impossible), put yourself in the other person's shoes and feel their feelings.
2. Adapt yourself to the environment, because the environment will never adapt to you. Even if it is a very, very painful process.
3. Be generous. If you are not generous, learn to be generous. If generosity really hurts you, pretend to be generous
4. Low-key, low-key, low-key (lower-key than temporary workers, maybe you are not as good as temporary workers who have worked for several years in the eyes of others).
Be sweet, don't be stingy with your cheers. (will praise people. A good compliment will make people feel very happy, but don't go too far to disgust them. )
6. If you think the work is progressing smoothly recently, you should be careful.
7. Be polite. Look each other in the eye when you say hello. When communicating with older people, you should call them elders, because you are the real junior.
8. Talk less and do more. If you talk too much, you lose. Too many people, too few words.
9. Don't take others' kindness for granted, but be grateful.
10. Hands are high and eyes are low.
1 1. Be punctual, but don't expect others to be punctual.
12. Keep your promise, but don't make it easily. Don't always keep others' promises to you in mind and believe them.
13. Don't borrow money from colleagues. If so, be sure to return it on time.
14. Don't lend money to your colleagues. Give it to him if necessary.
15. Don't pass the buck (even if it's someone else's. Will eating once in a while kill you? )。
16. Don't speak ill of another colleague behind his back. Insist on saying nice things about others behind their backs, and don't worry that these nice things won't reach the ears of the parties. If someone speaks ill of someone in front of you, smile.
17. Avoid openly opposing colleagues (including publicly raising objections, which is even more undesirable).
18. Always help others, but don't let the people who are helped take it for granted.
19. Telling the truth will bring you great misfortune.
20. Do things right, not people; Or be ruthless about things and have feelings for people; Or do first and do second.
2 1. Always check whether you are conceited, proud and look down on others. Even if you are talented, it's no use without the cooperation and help of others.
22. Patience is a compulsory course in life. Be patient with life, some people will fail this course until they die.
23. When you are new to a place, don't rush into any circle. Long enough, your circle will automatically accept you.
24. Have a normal heart. No big deal. Think bad of good things, and think good of bad things.
25. Try not to have an office romance. If it is unavoidable, avoid any form of physical contact, including eye contact, in the office. If you or your partner get married, congratulations, brother. You, die, decide, decide! ! ! )
26. You can kiss up (this is one of the important ways to communicate with your immediate supervisor), but be careful not to get your hands dirty. Never lick your ass with your tongue.
27. Qualifications are very important. Don't play tricks with the old guys, or you will die an ugly death.
28. Good intentions sometimes don't lead to good results, but you shouldn't be discouraged.
29. Maintain respect and tolerance.
30. If you lead a team, when summing up your work, you should take all the mistakes on yourself and all the credit on your subordinates. Remember to praise subordinates in time when the boss and subordinates are present at the same time. When criticizing people, it must be done only by the two of you.