The way to make friends in "What" is introduced as follows:
The way to make friends revealed in "The Analects" has been of great significance from ancient times to the present.
Confucius’ teaching is not only about teaching students knowledge and etiquette, but more importantly, it is about character cultivation and how to behave in the world. As a scholar, in addition to studying hard, making friends is also very important. If you make good teachers and friends, it will be of great help to your life and study. The way of making friends revealed in The Analects of Confucius has been of great significance from ancient times to the present. In "The Analects of Confucius. Ji Shi", Confucius divided friends into two categories. The original text is as follows:
Confucius said: There are three friends who benefit and three friends who harm. Friends who are straight, forgiving, and knowledgeable are beneficial; friends who are friendly, gentle, and friendly are disadvantageous.
There are three types of friends who are helpful to you:
The first type is people who are honest and honest, open-minded and outspoken, and can point out your shortcomings face to face. People; the second type is people who are more likely to forgive you, are kind-hearted and broad-minded. If you make friends with this kind of people, you don’t have to worry about friends being pretentious and stabbing you in the back; the third type is friends who are knowledgeable, and you will You can learn a lot from your friends.
There are three types of friends who are harmful to you:
The first type is people with weird tempers and people with special hobbies; the second type is people with weak personalities and dependence Strong, those who like to flatter, will do what you say, never argue with you, never express their own opinions, and will not object if you are wrong; the third type is those who are smooth-talking and specialize in flattering others, often People who are treacherous at heart and do evil things behind their backs have little success and more than enough failure, so be most careful.
This is about what kind of friends we should make. So how should friends get along if they have different opinions on something? This Zigong also helped us ask. Confucius answered like this in "The Analects of Confucius. Yan Yuan":
Zigong asked his friends. Confucius said: Advice is good and the way is good. Stop if you can't do it, don't humiliate yourself.
No matter how good the relationship between friends is, if excessive demands or advice are repeated too many times, the relationship will become alienated. So Confucius told Zigong: As a friend, you should loyally advise your friends and give them good guidance. When there is really no other way, then "stop if you can't" and stop forcing yourself. If people are tired of it and you continue to advise them, "Don't humiliate yourself," then it won't work. Then the friendship between friends will be gone, and they may become enemies.
"Discipline one's mistakes and encourage others to do good" This is the biggest advantage of making friends. Correcting each other's mistakes and learning from each other are true friends. However, there must be a limit to correcting mistakes and admonishing others. Enough is enough to keep the friendship of your friends.