Li Yinhe is a researcher, professor and doctoral supervisor at the Institute of Sociology, Chinese Academy of Social Sciences. China's first female sociologist, sexologist, and liberal feminist who studies sexuality. He studied under Fei Xiaotong, the founder of Chinese sociology.

Born in Beijing in 1952. PhD in Sociology from the University of Pittsburgh, USA. In 1999, he was named one of the 50 most influential people in China by Asia Weekly

Li Yinhe wrote that he loves sadomasochism, which is 5M. Recalling that when she was young, she paid attention to plots such as whipping and punishment and the humiliation of the male protagonist in the movie, and even read the sexiness in the text about Jia Baoyu being beaten.

I have never seen such a candid person since I was studying, and he is also a serious scholar! This made me admire him with joy and shocked my soul. So I immediately downloaded this book and read it in one sitting, late at night.

There are two things that impressed me about this book. First of all, she is very honest and writes a lot of her true thoughts and experiences. Secondly, and most importantly, she affirms the individual side of a person and the meaning of individuality. Because in my life, I have been in a state of living where I ignored my true feelings for a long time. Now that I am in college, I want to slowly change this state. I want to respect my own feelings and my own true thoughts. Therefore, I am particularly disgusted with demanding everyone with unified requirements, and I especially like some remarks that respect individuality.

Frankness and respect for individuality, these two characteristics are most obvious when Li Yinhe talks about sadomasochism.

She has personal experience with sadomasochism, published academic works after scientific research, and even created some novels. From an academic point of view, we affirm the rationality of sadomasochism, and even advocate that sadomasochism is a noble and elegant way of life, because it is based on the equality of both parties without worrying about food and clothing. There is a detail in the book. She said that Wang Xiaobo's purchase of 5M props was as normal as buying flowers.

In China, there are not many people who can be honest about the topic of sex, and even fewer who can analyze it in depth. When it comes to sex, I don't know what's right and what's wrong. The concepts in my mind are all derived from film, television, novels and surrounding opinions, but they conflict with each other. The surrounding speech, that is, the traditional concept, is low-key, abstract, and you can even say it is a very strict thing. Traditional concepts require women to be very loyal and pure. You cannot like sex, you cannot express your love for sex, you must be a pure woman, shy or even disgusted with sex, and you must maintain your integrity before getting married. virgin. Film and television novels are more open. In recent years, the development of online novels has further expanded its openness. People put on the vest of the Internet to write about love and desire. But fiction is a very private thing. Neither readers nor authors would support their preferences in public when faced with sensitive topics. In public, we are all politically correct people. We are all the same people, with the same attitude and the same standards. The difference between the inner world and the outer world creates a kind of conflict, so I don’t know what to believe. I don’t know many personal things. Is he a devil? But. This book subverted my view. She demonstrated that sadomasochism is an elegant sexual lifestyle. It's like an authoritative scholar can definitely tell you that your true inner thoughts are meaningful and reasonable.

I think Li Yinhe’s frankness may be because she went to the United States to study sociology. However, the reason why she went to the United States to study for this degree at her own expense may be due to her personality.

I particularly respect personalized things, but in my daily life I am also a politically correct person. There is a natural pressure to be consistent with others. Conflict between behavior and heart creates pain. This pain forced me to constantly search for free ideas and its advocates. I pay attention to a lot of marginalized things, a lot of individual things, and I especially want to respect them and maintain them. I think this kind of maintenance is not to affirm or deny the thing itself, but to express my attitude: I respect everyone's individuality. In this way, I can gradually confirm that my personal side is legitimate and reasonable.

There is a type of theory in legal research that emphasizes the submission of the minority to the majority, as if the interests of the minority are smaller than the interests of the majority. I was very disgusted with this kind of rough judgment during class. Everyone is different and everyone is priceless. Respecting this difference is the attitude that the law should have, rather than simply the minority obeying the majority.

Many people like to read, travel and make friends with others. I think the meaning behind these behaviors is to see more people’s different lifestyles. In this way we can understand the world better. In other words, we understand ourselves better. If you can accept other people's personalized things, you can accept your own personalized things and find a balance in your life. Once this balance is reached. People's life will become very comfortable, just like a river, with a flowing power.

We often talk about procrastination, harm to the original family, and conflicts in intimate relationships. We are powerless in the face of these problems. Why is it powerless? Because the power is suppressed. Taking female characteristics as an example, society requires women to be silly, in need of pampering, non-competitive, and gentle, but everyone has their own characteristics and they are all different. As Li Yinhe said: Women are human beings first, and women second. Marx once said: I have everything that people have. So, why can’t women have what men have? If all the water chestnuts are smoothed. It’s true that you can have both sides of the coin in life, but you’re really being repressed into a corner. Your power also disappears because you accept a passive lifestyle. You will feel uncomfortable. I read teacher Wu Zhihong’s book before. He emphasized respecting his aggression. What does it mean? You have to dare to do evil. I was chatting with a classmate in college. I just said that I am a bad person because if someone hurts me, I will want to retaliate severely. He directly retorted to me: If someone hurts you, you should take revenge on him. This is legitimate and does not count as evil. I was stunned. Looking back now, I had very little respect for my own feelings at that time and was used to using strict dogmas to restrain myself. This constraint is not perceived. Because the real me has been defeated, hiding in the corner and lingering. How can a person who lives in dogma be full of strength?

When I was in college, I got tired very easily. It’s painful to have no motivation to do things. Even though I work part-time. After being active for a period of time, you will fall into a very decadent state. Forced positivity into decadence has been a recurring cycle in my life. Later, when I read the book, Jobs and Louise Hai both said that finding something you really like to do will be very powerful. I started to find what I really enjoyed doing. But I found this difficult, because in my long-term suppressed life, I have never experienced the process of listening to my heart, and I don’t know how to listen to my true thoughts. I remember being confused because I didn't know what I really liked. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was actually unwilling to listen to my real thoughts, so he had gone to a corner. I hadn't seen him for a long time. What I thought was real was not real.

Fortunately, I came across "Rebuilding Life", which is really a life-saving book. I'm so lucky to have encountered it. After reading through it, I was lying in bed one day and thought: Never mind what else is going wrong, what am I doing now? I'm sleeping. Okay, then lie comfortably in the soft bed quilt and relax! At that moment, I experienced silence. Those threatening dogmas were far away from me, and the fragrance of the quilt lingered in my ears. Of course, change takes time. After that, I practiced "The Power of Now", yoga, meditation, and came into contact with books such as "The Second Sex", "Women Also Need Dreams", and "Kinsey's Sexology Report". I learned to accept myself, from changing my ideas to changing my behavior. When I was a graduate student, I faced my desire to write and started writing in short books. I am no longer afraid of the desire to pursue my ideals, but am open to accepting real thoughts and taking action. Gradually, I began to feel which aspect I was more interested in, and slowly moved in the direction I liked little by little.

In the process of exploration, I encountered many interesting things, including this book "Honey Collecting in the World". It is a new inspiration and a shock from quantitative change to qualitative change. I have believed that love is just a part of life since I was a child. In my freshman year, I liked the discussion of freedom in the jurisprudence class. I was unconsciously attracted to the Greek idea of ??freedom and rejected the idea that I must get married and have children;;;;;;As Steve Jobs said, these formed the key points of my life. They all point to the same place, which is respecting individuality and self-achievement. It is my dream to study fringe topics like Li Yinhe, to be exposed to incredible lifestyles, and to fall in love for the rest of my life without getting married or having children.

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