You are fine, you are fine, you are the best in the world! Wearing a pair of sandals, wrapped in a few leaves and tied with two braids, don't think you are a monster on the ground, but you are actually a fairy lower bound!
He was discharged on Monday. Tuesday, hand in hand. Wednesday, "First Kiss". Thursday, in love. Friday, beautiful lies. Saturday, romantic "kiss goodbye". Sunday, rotation.
Good friends are like underwear. No matter what ups and downs you have, he always tolerates you. A very good friend is like a condom, always thinking about your safety. A best friend is like a great career brother who gives you strength when you can't lift your head.
Dear God, please bless those friends who don't call me, send me messages or miss me, and their mobile phones fall into the toilet. Amen!
Telecom check message: difficult, difficult, difficult, difficult, and difficult.
When there is no girlfriend-a good citizen; When you have a girlfriend-get a bail pending trial; When engaged-monitor the residence; After marriage-life imprisonment! ! !
Nothing I can do on the Internet can dispel my worries. I can chat to get rid of my troubles. Suddenly, I saw a beautiful girl waving, nodding and closing other windows. In the end, it was an old man from the north, disgusting!
You are a phoenix in the sky, I am a hungry wolf in the ground, you are a crow in the sky, I am an underground toad, you fly in the sky, and I drool in the ground. ...
A wife is tasteless, a lover is too tired and a young lady is too expensive. There is nothing wrong with reunion, and breaking up is also a pair.
Feelings are in arrears, love stops, promises are empty, trust is closed, care is not connected, beauty is not in the service area, everything is suspended, and life is completely frozen!
Let me ask you a riddle. There are two drops of water on the pig's ass. Make a song title. Hehe, stop guessing. It's "you're in tears"!
Don't think you are cool, in fact, I want to throw up at the sight of you; Don't think you are handsome, but I want to kick you!
The hunter found a pig and raised his shotgun to kill it. The hunter approached the pig, but the pig stood up. Do you know why? Can't guess? The pig is also wondering.
Note: You have sent yellow text messages for many times in a row, and this bureau officially warns you! If it is found again, it will stop using it immediately and post the reimbursement number. Please be self-disciplined
A pig weighing 100 kg has to cross a bridge that can only bear 80 kg. How to cross? I don't know. Yes! That's the pig's answer:)
Sea! It's all water A good horse! It has four legs. What an idiot to read the information! It's grinning!
I really want to say a few words to you, but I dare not tell you publicly, especially in a quiet and lonely night, full of thoughts. I, insomnia, just want to ask you softly, did you have a bowel movement today?
Ah! Your skin is so shiny and your fragrance is so irresistible. Let me bite you hard, dear-braised pork.
Love you, love you, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice. I won't hit you, I won't scold you, I will torture you with text messages!
These days, I've been trying to say three words to you, but I'm afraid even ordinary friends can't do it, so I can't help it. I still want to say: borrow some money!
The king wants 100 pigs. The minister only brought 99 heads. The king said, "What about 1 pig?" The minister said, "There are still 1 people reading text messages!"
Do n't move Robbery! Hands up. Men stand on the left, women stand on the right, perverts stand in the middle, hey! I'm talking about you, pretending to look at your mobile phone!
There are mountains on the internet, there is water on the internet, and the beautiful women on the internet are so fucking beautiful, with hooked nose, toad mouth and a pair of bowlegged legs.
The online beauty smiled, and Bush hugged bin Laden. The online beauty laughed and laughed, and the online computers burned; Online beauties laugh at San Xiao, and all the nuclear weapons in the world explode!
Marriage is a keyboard, too much order and rules; Love is a mouse and it works at all. Men are more important than their masters, and memory is the most important; Women are like monitors, they can see everything.
I love you for four basic principles: I love you for no reason; Love you without reservation; Love you forever; Love you, that's all!
A shadow is lonely, two roses are simple, a star is expectation, two vast skies, one is comfortable and the other is you! The idiot who reads text messages sometimes makes me miss it!
Meeting you is the beginning of my heart, falling in love with you is my happy choice, owning you is my most precious wealth, stepping on the red carpet is my eternal motivation, and the person I love forever is you. Unfortunately, I passed it on to the wrong person.
Late at night, walking alone in the cold street, lonely heart, nowhere to go, always thinking of you, thinking of you, looking forward to you, I really want to say loudly to you ... invite me to dinner?
Notice: After investigation, you have repeatedly used SMS to spread yellow information. Please surrender to the public security department within three days, otherwise it will be dealt with seriously. Urban anti-cyber crime center.
After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom, only to find a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatball said shyly, I hate it, you don't even know people when they take off their clothes!
Two loving steamed buns are getting married, but the groom can't find a bride on the wedding day. The groom anxiously asked the flower roll that had been beside him, and the flower roll said shyly, "Shit, people are wearing wedding dresses!" " "
I'm moving ~ The address is No.520, Lane 530, Xiangxiang 4th Road, Love City ~
I can take good care of myself without you! You can torture yourself slowly without me!
An unmarried woman lamented: Why do all good men become husbands? She was reminded that a wife cultivates a good husband by self-production and self-sale, and no man can learn by himself.
I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to. Because of a clerical error, I wrote Miss as Kiss and accidentally kissed you. I hope everyone will forgive me!
I love you so much!
Impressive memory: mother and daughter went to visit their daughter's boyfriend's art exhibition. The mother found that the naked woman in one of the portraits looked like her daughter, so she asked, "You didn't paint him naked, did you?" "Oh, no," the daughter replied. "He did it from memory."
/kloc-Tell stories to trick her into sleeping with you at the age of 0/8, sleep with you automatically at the age of 28 without telling stories, lie to you at the age of 38, and avoid sleeping with her at the age of 48.
Beauty A made all men admire her. B dared to carve the words "I love you" on A's desk. A was angry and couldn't help but erase it. Everyone admired B. The next day, A wrote four words on the desk: Saibei Snow.
Wives and computers have one thing: no one understands their operating rules except suppliers.
The clear river flows with feelings, and the glory of friendship is clear at a glance. Who will be told about the bright future? I'll send the information to an idiot.
One day, when you find that you are in love with someone you hate, this relationship is the most deadly! But how can I fall in love with a person I hate? Would you please give me a reason? Please.
It's not illegal for girls to eat. No matter how fat, you have the right to gain weight. Slim is actually gaunt behind, and people who love you won't care about your waistline. Taste the long-lost food. Even if you die, it is also a kind of beauty.
In a sultry afternoon, I rudely tore off your clothes, greedily kissed your body, slowly moved down, kissed all over your body, and my enthusiasm gradually melted you! Feeling weak-I love you, ice cream!
Send you a dessert! Ingredient: I love you. Composition: missing. Accessories: suffering and loneliness. Date of production: from the day I met you. Save date: uncertain. Product standard number: 520 13 14.
I gently carry you to the bed, gently open your pants, gently take off your underwear, gently kiss your face, and then gently say to you: Baby, change your posture … come … change diapers.
There is a cook at home; There is a beautiful one in the office; There is a bitch around; There is a missing person in the distance.
Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? When I finished reading the short message you sent me, I suddenly realized how much affection you used for me! Memory is so unforgettable! You can't forget me! I finally decided: turn it off and piss you off!
The so-called heaven is where all women are, except your wife.
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-Author: Ding
-Date of issue: 2005-10-3120: 42: 25
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Love Humor SMS (2)
My brother is a gray wolf and my sister is a sheep. There is no shortage of food in my brother's house, and I want you to be a bride; Bang, my brother was killed; The hunter raised his gun and smiled. Look at your mother!
I miss you! I miss you! Think about it day and night! Sitting in the toilet still thinking! Miss you! Miss you! Just can't remember who you are! ..... Call me back and tell me who you are.
Men and dogs, men are 20 like Baha 'i dogs, with sweet words in their mouths, men are 30 like watchdog, and they are the best at cooking and washing clothes, while men are 40 like mad dogs, biting at the sight of beautiful women.
Smoke a lot, drink until you throw up, drive into a tree and walk on the dance floor. Everyone thinks you are cool, but you can't walk when you see a beautiful woman.
Men are afraid of four things: fear of a young lady getting sick, fear of a lover getting pregnant, fear of people writing letters and fear of a wife committing suicide. What are you afraid of?
Women are wonderful, they can have children and sleep; She jumps when she sees silver, and laughs when she has food; No money, no face, no tone change, talking like a ghost.
If I am riding a horse, you can call me a groom; If I am driving, you can call me a coachman; If I am in charge of accounting, what should you call me?
You have the face of an angel, the figure of a devil, and even the posture of farting is so beautiful. But in public, can you control the rhythm?
Wait for a subway for five minutes; Watch a movie for three hours; The moon is full for one month; One spring goes and spring comes; Miss one of your life! But a word of concern only takes one second: it's cold, so put more grass in the pen.
I want to climb the mountain, hoping to meet you in the thick fog in the morning, but I'm worried that my heavy breathing will scare you away ~ ~ Are you a grasshopper or a cricket? I dreamt about you accidentally ~ ~
The bottom line of eating is burping, drinking is drilling the table, girls' bottom line is sticking film, men's bottom line is passbook, couples' bottom line is affection, and gifts' bottom line cannot be said.
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Jonina. She fell in love with a girl named Shade. They look at the stars together. When the meteor crossed the sky, they named it Jonina Shading Star.
A woman blushes five times in her life: the first time; The first time with her husband; Not a husband for the first time; When collecting money for the first time; I paid for the first time.
In the street, a beautiful lady said to me, "One hundred dollars is not the kind of person you think, and two hundred dollars is your person tonight. Three hundred dollars tonight. Don't treat me like a human being. I want to ask you how many people you want to bring tonight for 400 yuan, and I don't care how many people you bring tonight for 500 yuan! "
Walking through mountains and rivers, there are high and low feet, and I have experienced ups and downs, but I still have to look for it. Life is busy, we have gained more or less, lost bits and pieces, and the important thing is to be happy!
Do we all think that life is too high and expensive? In fact, maybe life is to work and eat and drink Lazar, while love is to make love and then two people work and eat and drink Lazar together. Of course, life and love also have orgasms, but the fact is too short. We always want to prolong the orgasms, leading to impotence of men and women.
Some officials: wordy in the morning, eating fish and bird's nest at noon, singing and dancing in the afternoon and sauna massage at night.
I really can't miss you. The last time I miss you, God sighed. Colombia fell to the ground and the United States lost billions, but I still can't help but miss you!
I think what you think; Wear clothes without styling; I don't get along with anyone; No matter where you go, you are not welcome; I can't keep up with Lenin in thinking; My heart secretly stopped when I was fine.
Love is in arrears, love has stopped, and fate is not in the service area; It's painful to think about it, and it's sad to think about it. When will I pay for it and turn it on again? Horizontal approval: dreams come true
There are many grasses in the sea. Why do you see a grass? As long as you look hard, there is always a better one than her.
When the dormitory building of the Public Security Bureau was completed, the people spoke highly of it: the wall built by Miss Zhuang, who was beaten by prostitutes, was filled with mahjong, and the wall made of drugs and gunpowder on the thief was in the room where the robbers lived!
Guangzhou rich woman has the most money to train young people. Shanghai girls can read, and their sex skills spread all over the world. Miss Hunan is short and willing to be a mistress. Miss Beijing is very polite and carries a condom with her. Sister Northeast dares to have sex in the most powerful public places.
Women have different requirements for men as they get older: twenty must be tall, thirty must be skilled, forty must have high positions, fifty must have high housing, sixty must not be afraid of heights, and seventy must climb alone.
Women's Eight Fears: No one wants to fall in love and lose their virginity in girlhood. The first night, there is no red husband, and the golden gun will not let her husband engage in emotional appeal outside. Savages don't wear condoms.
People fish, you don't fish, and your wife says you are a straw bag; People gamble, you don't gamble, and secretly say that you are 250; People do it, you don't do it, and everyone talks about you.
Worship heaven and earth and be angry with your wife from now on! Second, worship Gao Tang and work hard for her! Husband and wife respect each other as guests, and tighten their belts from now on! Into the bridal chamber, I knelt on her bed and scrubbed!
You mean you rogue, pulling my belt every day; You are shameless and shy, kissing my mouth and face every day; You hate being bored, and you've been following me for five or six years. Spend so much hard-earned money, damn mobile phone!
Dear slacker, do you sleep deeply in winter and laugh in your dreams? It's a beautiful day today. Remember to take a bath in the afternoon, lest your fragrance put me down tomorrow!
When a colander meets a bald ladle, a frog is easy to match a purple toad. After meeting in the same city, I found it was not bad at all.
Acacia tears wet eyes pillow, love tortured frustrated soul; Lovers wander the streets of parting, and lovers feel the pain of separation (no solution, no mystery)
A man gets married at 50, and his wife is young and beautiful. The next morning, the neighbor saw the bride with long hair and went to the wall and said, liar! Before marriage, he told me that he had 30 years' savings, which I thought was money. ......
You should marry Xiao Zhao, be friends with Ling Huchong, be a man with Qiao Feng, and go out with Wei Xiaobao.
A woman blushes five times in her life: the first time; The first time with her husband; Not a husband for the first time; When collecting money for the first time; I paid for the first time.
The girl bought bananas, put them in her back pocket after getting on the bus, and reached out to catch them from time to time. After a while, a young man patted her on the shoulder: miss, please make way, I'm getting off.
When the horse is coquettish, it jumps, when the donkey is coquettish, it barks, when the man is coquettish, it becomes warped, and when the woman is coquettish, the most coquettish one keeps smiling at the mobile phone.
I was shocked to see that the radiation of your mobile phone was particularly high on the Internet yesterday. I was about to inform you, but I saw that it didn't work for people with IQ below 50. I'm relieved, don't worry, keep using it!
I want to see the sea with you, but I can't grasp the unpredictable future; I want to climb the mountain with you, but I am full of confusion about my ideal; I want to wander with you, but I can't go to a happy paradise; I want to go shopping with you, but when I met the police, I said no dogs.
Cucumbers are better than men for several reasons. First, they are not soft. Second, they are very small. Third, they are not pregnant. Fourth, they are not tired. Fifth, they will not have an affair. Sixth, they don't have to cook for him. Seventh, they can eat by themselves.
A good friend is like a bra, comfortable and intimate, which always supports you, just like underwear. Even if you have ups and downs, it will always contain you, just like a sanitary towel, which will help you wipe when you are sad and bleeding, and more like a condom, which will help you support how many baskets you have caused!
I miss the days we walked together. Spring is beautiful, birds are singing and flowers are fragrant. When the villagers see you, they all praise you, so beautiful and lovely. Everyone in the village praised me when they saw me. I am so smart and capable that I came out to release pigs at such a young age.
The students in Chinese opera are so sad that they hang up the golden signboard of Yuefu in vain. They don't want to languish in the cold window for four years.
A colander meets a bald broom, and a frog matches a purple toad. After meeting in the same city, I found it was not bad at all.
The husband is staring at an oil painting, which shows a naked woman, and only a few leaves cover her shame. The wife yelled at her husband, "Do you want to stand in autumn until the leaves fall?" ? "
* * * The dormitory was dark and the voltage was not enough to boil water. One person shouted: Sisters, stop being' coquettish'. Only heard someone answer: we are not coquettish on the third floor, but you are coquettish on the second floor.
A couple in Daqing Oilfield is about to get married, and a colleague sent a couplet. Complement: new people, new wells and new bits, from bottom to top: drilling deeper, producing more oil, horizontal batch: spraying every time.
Are you secretly thinking about me? Are you really thinking about me secretly? Tell me if you really miss me. I won't stop you from thinking about me. Be reasonable. I miss you too.
People are really tired when they are alive! Standing thinking about sleeping, waiting in line when getting on the bus, unrequited love is really painful, eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, work is particularly tired, robbery is not enough, you have to pay taxes when you earn money, and even you have to pay for texting pigs!
To test your Mandarin, please read aloud the following poems: Dark Stone Green, Dark Dianthus, Dark Stone Passing through Chun Lv, Dark Stone Passing through Chun Zhu.
Boyfriend and girlfriend sleep in the same room, and the woman draws a clear line: animals cross the border. Woke up and found that the man really didn't cross the line, and the woman slapped the man hard: you are not even as good as an animal!
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-Author: Ding
-Date of issue: 2005-10-3120: 43: 49
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Love Humor SMS (3)
Comfort is just to keep people in your mouth, one person is the highest and one person is the lowest. They only hope that one day, there will be only one person left. Guess four words and send it to me if you know the answer.
Boo-hoo .. Are you really leaving? Are you ignoring me? That's why I'm willing to rest assured that I'm online alone. There are many perverts!
Old people are inferior; The little boy is a semi-finished product; Boys are wonderful products; Virgo is the best; Middle-aged men are trophies of others; Her husband is an ordinary dish; Other people's husbands are supplements.
The first secretary follows, the second secretary writes the report, the third secretary makes the manuscript, and the fourth secretary proofreads the manuscript.
To marry a wife, you should marry Xiao Zhao; to make friends, you should be Ling Huchong; to be a man, it is best to be Qiao Feng; to go out and get Wei Xiaobao!
What do you think foreigners are longer than China people? Can you guess? Ha ha ha, don't guess, it's actually a name.
The wife should follow when she goes out, obey her orders and blindly follow her mistakes; The wife has to wait for makeup, remember her birthday, be willing to spend money, and endure beatings.
The little toad saw the frog and asked his mother, that uncle looks like us, but why is he green? Mother Toad: Shh! His wife has gone to spend Valentine's Day with someone else.
I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is ... your patience has won my respect; The bad news is … I will work harder to repair you!
Looking for you: anonymous is slim, looks extraordinary, gentle and lovely; Always in my heart. Please contact me if you know the whereabouts. Willing to pay with a diamond ring!
Sister doesn't have to worry about finding her brother, and brother asks her where she is. It's all in the net.
The stock was quilted, the money was stolen, the millet was soaked, and Viagra was invalid.
As your doctor friend, I need to tell you that your IQ has dropped to the lowest level. Emotional intelligence soared to 200 points, which was really unexpected! The cause is that you are in love, and the diagnosis is that you are hopeless!
Outside the castle peak building outside the mountain, my brother is as strong as an ox. The spring breeze makes him intoxicated, and he only treats dinosaurs as beautiful girls.
In the 2000 s, love was too fast, from love to kicking. One week: discharge on Monday, declare on Tuesday, hold hands on Wednesday, sleep together on Thursday, be bored on Friday, kick on Saturday, and find new love on Sunday.
People are at home in the classroom, so learning is not as good as falling in love, learning to make a living and falling in love for the next generation!
The other day, you shook that thing up and down and told you not to be too violent, but you just wouldn't listen. It made me sticky and wet ... I told you you would spray champagne when you opened it!
In fact, you are very touching, you always hit people; In fact, you are very cute, and no one loves you even now. In fact, you are infatuated, and you are the most stupid in feelings:)
In fact, your character is very good! You don't smoke, drink, take drugs, go whoring, loiter, gamble, embezzle or take bribes! It is really hard to get! So everyone respectfully calls you "Bajie"!
The way you smile is sweet, the way you are angry is cute, you are the most beautiful in my eyes, and you are the best in my heart. Is it very touching? You pig!
Do you know that?/You know what? I have been secretly in love with you, missing your face, your lips, your tongue and your ears, but I am too poor to confess. Now that I have money, I can say loudly, "Boss, cut that pig head in half for me."
I really miss you. Without you, I will never have the feeling of deer bumping around, no blushing spring scenery, no impulsive desire, no joy of meeting a bosom friend! ..... Alas, I really should have a good drink! Wode Erguotou
It's really hard to forget you. The pain of missing is entangled in my heart, and the longing has never been answered. Why did you ask me to dinner in the first place?
There are stars and the moon hanging in the sky, the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon has a lot on his mind, the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl are in love, the Moon Old Matchmaker is a myth, and there is a fool who doesn't talk and squints at the phone.
Finally, I understand that I am the one you are looking for, and you are waiting for my appearance. When you called me, I was already in no way back, and my mind was blank. I can only go to you ... traffic police.
I've always wanted to ask you a question, but I'm afraid to say it publicly, especially on quiet and lonely nights, which makes me insomnia, so I have to send a text message to ask you ... Do you still wet the bed?
Delete yesterday's troubles, determine today's happiness, set tomorrow's happiness, store eternal love, cancel the hatred in the world, paste beautiful feelings, copy intoxicating scenery and print your smile!
I miss you alone, where are you handsome, I miss you infatuated, and you are a fool reading short messages.
Handsome boy, I'm eighteen or nineteen this year and I haven't found a girlfriend yet. People go to the streets hand in hand, and I hold hands with my left hand!
My husband didn't come home all night, and my wife was very angry! Husband: Everything I do is for you! Wife: What did you do for me? ! Everything you do is to make me angry! Husband: Yes! I am trying to help you lose weight!
Marry me, and I will flush your toilet with oil, take a bubble bath with remy martin XO, and pick you up from work with Boeing 777. Use Zhao Wei as your maid.
"I stood under my girlfriend's window and sang love songs to her. She threw me a flower. " "What about the wound on your head?" "Oh, she forgot to take the flowers out of the flowerpot."
Mathematicians and their girlfriends are walking in the park. My girlfriend asked, "Do you really mind my freckles?" The mathematician replied, "Absolutely not! I was born to like dealing with decimal points. "
Wife: "hey, I heard that men are bald because they use too much brain." Is that so? " Husband: "Yes! Women have no beard because they talk all day and exercise too much. "
Love is deep, rain is misty, you are a worm in my stomach, you know everything you want, don't say anything!
Two people call sending text messages to convey their feelings as believing in love. It is narcissism, unrequited love, love to send and receive, and love to send and receive often.
Two people call sending text messages to convey their feelings as believing in love. It is narcissism, unrequited love, love to send and receive, and love to send and receive often.
Dreaming during the day, dreaming at night. You should take care of yourself, don't catch a cold and have a runny nose; If I sneeze occasionally, it means I miss you!
I have been afraid to confess to my face: I like you so much! I have a crush on you for a long time! …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Unexpectedly, my wife will cheat. She didn't come home last night and asked where she had gone. She told me that she was with her sister all night, but I was with her sister last night.
Maid A: "I am so poor that I have to say' Yes, madam' every day; Yes, madam. "Maid B:" I am a bad karma, and I keep saying' no, sir' every day; No, sir. "
Before he died, the old man confessed to his wife: I once had an affair, please forgive me! Wife: What a big deal! You can sleep now! Which of our children looks like you?
Lonely pity, quiet grass and the edge of streams-virgins; There is an oriole singing in the tree-marrying a woman; Spring tides bring rain late and come quickly-giving birth; Wild crossing, no boat crossing-widow
I would like to eat bread and instant noodles in order to get married online. Staying up late, hungry, numb expression, black eyes. There is a bulge in the skull, and online dating is bullshit.
It is reasonable for men to look at women, and it is natural for women to look at men. Men don't look at women, they love to write backwards, and women don't look at men. The world is over!
A broken pot has a broken lid, and an ugly ghost has a woman's love. As long as you feel ocean deep, Asako can shine.
The mosquito said to the lion: Your hair is too long, and baldness is popular now, which is a symbol of wisdom. So the lion went to the barber shop and shaved his head. At this time, a group of mosquitoes swarmed in: handsome boy, let's love you enough at once.
The letter A meets the letter B on the road, and the letter B says to the letter A, "Why sharpen your head and arch your head?" Letter A scolded: "How are you?" The chest is quite big, and at first glance it is a mistress! "
Love is not deep, just beautiful; Love is not true, money is spiritual. There are beautiful women talking and laughing, and all the people communicating are young people. Don't learn from Chen Shimei, but also seek fame. Mencius said: eating color, sex is also.
Men have the symptoms of an affair: the company works overtime every day, never touches the housework, turns off the mobile phone when they get home, deletes the text message after reading it, snores loudly when sleeping, and often wears anti-underwear. By contrast, three items are suspected and four items can be diagnosed!
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-Author: Ding
-Date of issue: 2005-10-3120: 44: 41
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Love Humor SMS (3)
Twelve hopes of love: waving hope, eager to hold hands, eager to hold hands, clapping in a daze, shaking hands with disappointment, shaking hands with expectation, holding hands and looking back with tears, looking back at arms, expecting to leave hopelessly.
Emancipate the mind and dress in fashion; Life should be harmonious and work should be comfortable; Husband should be strong and children should be beautiful; Be reserved when you go out and be loud when you go home.
Four weaknesses: boss kidney, three speeches, miss tears, statistics table.
The first lover is a brand-new version; The revival of old love is a replica; Cohabitation before marriage is a trial version; The Golden House is a collector's edition; The wedding night is sincere; Falling in love with widows is a revised edition; Seducing a wife is piracy.
My friend's wife is a goldfish. She looks good and can't eat it. Miss Taiwan Province, it's puffer fish. Delicious and easy to be poisoned. Lover, turtle, delicious, but expensive. Honey, it's saury. It's not pretty, but it's delicious and cheap.
Women's four ideals: men have broken heads and shells, send me money every day, and wait in line for me to choose, never getting old.
Five one projects: follow a leader as a backer; Being a boss is easy to spend money; Unite a reporter and pay attention to publicity; It is not difficult to see a doctor; Contact a member of the opposite sex and secretly satisfy your desire!
God gave me a pair of feet and taught me how to stand still, but I only learned to escape; God gave me a straight back and taught me how to persevere, but I only learned to show off!
You are the wind, I am the sand, I am Ye Er, you are the flower, you are very good, others are boasting, without you, I would go to the bar, get drunk and climb on the floor, miss you, and the sky would fall. After I got drunk, I reveled in the street and was sent home by the police uncle!
Women's sorrow-life belongs to the kitchen; Income comes from shopping malls; Bonuses are decorative; No property; The grade is the boss's; The body is a man's; Only freckles and wrinkles are your own!
The face is not thick enough and the ability is not enough; Beauty is not exposed, and the pervert is not tempted; Men are not bad, women don't love them; No gifts, no human feelings; If you don't worship money, you won't get rich soon.
Ye Er can also understand the sneak attack of the wind; Snowflakes can still accept sunlight; Even mice don't hate cats that much; Are you still mad at me for reading text messages? Baby, smile, I love you!
I think of you every day when I eat rice; I never eat noodles, I just want to meet you; I miss you for a meal without soup, and my heart is in a panic; I drink, not eat vegetables. I love you in this life!
Like a Dream: There is nothing to worry about online/in the chat room/occasionally a beautiful girl waves/nods/closes other windows/chats to the end/turns out to be a distant old man/feels sick/nauseous.
One day, Xiao Zhang's girlfriend asked Xiao Zhang if she loved her. Xiao Zhang said, "I love you for ten thousand years. But I can't love you in the first hundred years. . . . . . . . . .
You must come with me unconditionally! I have reason to detain you for a long time! Your love must not be sold to passers-by at will! Solemnly, you and your love belong to me!
With you, every day is Valentine's Day! For me, every day is Labor Day! The two of us are together, and we will party every day!
At the breakfast table, the husband told his wife: Drinking a cup of coffee in the morning makes me feel refreshed, as if I were ten years younger! The wife said, try to have a cup of coffee before going to bed next time!
Wife: "alas! How can a housewife always have endless housework? ! "Husband:" No way! You don't agree with me to marry two. "
Yesterday, you ran in my mind all day. At night, you stayed with me in my dream all night. I want to say: thank you, you have worked hard!
Me! I want it! I want you! I want you to look at me. I want you to look me in the eye! I want you to look me in the eye and say! You want me!
Dear, you always say that I love to brag, so please listen to me: "For you, I can go to the moon for nine days and catch turtles in five oceans!" " "Because: that" moon "is you, and that" turtle "is you!
Romantic dad, romantic mom, romantic bed, romantic quilt, romantic hug, romantic sleep.
Honey. The doctor said I was lovesick. The prescription is as follows: three kisses +2-3 drops of lover's tears+eternal love. I think … only you can save me!
1 year-old debut1year-old daily upward 20 lofty ideals 30 basic orientation 40 delicious everywhere 50 hard 60 retired home 70 playing mahjong 80 basking in the sun 90 lying in bed 100 years old hanging on the wall.
Seeing you, I am afraid of getting an electric shock; I can't see you, I need to recharge; Without you, I'll cut off the power. Loving you is my profession, and thinking of you is me.