I am 34 years old and a wise man who has experienced this stage.

Before the age of 28, it was difficult to take off the bill because there were few girls in contact and no one introduced me. I was also introverted.

After the age of 28, I changed my job, and I contacted more people and introduced more people. Countless blind dates, contact with many girls.

But maybe it's personal conditions, maybe it's my own personality, or maybe I didn't take off the bill. Until now. . .

The mental journey is like a roller coaster, which is very tortuous.

But as I said at the beginning, I have changed from a person who wants to take off the bill to a greasy middle-aged Buddhist who is indifferent to being broken up.

Urgent, this kind of mood has long been forgotten in the corner.

At this age, it is difficult to fall in love slowly and step by step into the marriage hall.

Compared with free love and blind date, the chances of breaking up are higher.

In this cycle of talking, there is gradually no hurry.

When you get used to the urging of your family and the concern of your friends, you will become numb.

There are many reasons for not being anxious. To sum up, there are several points:

1, those with poor conditions have no confidence in finding an object, so they simply don't look for it and don't worry.

I was deeply hurt. This introverted person wants to regain confidence and see fate.

3, the object is very demanding and there is no suitable one. I don't judge such people. I'm not qualified.

4. Fight with your family. My family forced this. It's pathetic.

5. Be content with the status quo. This is a girl who is not self-motivated and enterprising. Buddhists are looking for girls. It's good to have them, but it's comfortable not to have them.

There are still some reasons that are hard to say, and you will understand. . .

answer

As the old saying goes, "stand at thirty", but the modern saying is "only thirty". They can temporarily lose their passion and interest and overthrow the "three mountains" alive. But their longing for love and a better life has been beating strongly. Society is a multi-level stage, and they are pursuing their own stage, "pursuing the innocence of life".

However, this is not entirely the case. Having money, a car and income, living a leisurely life, and not wanting to live a life of daily necessities with married children, is also a new way of life for modern people.

There is also a very realistic problem: a rich man can solve 99% of things, and the key is that he has no money. To tell the truth, if a person is not excellent, marriage is also a tragedy, and future generations will still suffer. It is really good for ordinary people to live alone. Although a little social Darwinism, the reality is survival of the fittest. Afraid of taking responsibility, so funny. Life is so long, unless you don't get married, you should grow up responsibly.

Man struggles upwards, and there is nothing wrong with worshipping money. Girls just want to be better. Imagine if a man wants to hook up with a girl with better economic conditions than himself. Just can't have no bottom line, be worthy of yourself, and can't ask for RV money without anything.

Some people say that I'm almost thirty, and I haven't thought of getting married yet. My family has a lot of debts for several years, and I'm sure I can't get married before I'm thirty. If you look down, sometimes you will feel empty and lonely. Bear with it and find more flowers!

Not every girl is kidnapped by money and material, and versatile girls like talented and connotative boys. Only girls who have no strength are kidnapped by money and material, and are asked to support themselves with the bride price room. Powerful girls don't need these to improve themselves, but they have the capital to improve themselves.

Finally, remind all boys: when you meet a good girl you like, you should pursue it bravely. Not every girl is interested in material and money, and not every mother-in-law is interested in the bride price room. A person's character and sense of responsibility are what her mother-in-law values most. Those girls who don't have the strength just want to get a bride price room and improve their worth. It won't last long, so we should cherish it.

It seems that many young men in their thirties are not in a hurry to find a partner. My colleague/kloc-0 was born in 1989 and is 32 years old. He is a colleague of my last company. Although I rarely contact me after leaving my job, I occasionally talk. I asked him why he didn't receive your invitation, and he said that he was numb in love now and just broke up two days ago. People who like to listen to gossip like me must ask him the specific reasons.

Let's start with my colleague. He is a 195cm big man, of medium build, with glasses, graduated from undergraduate course, and his appearance is not a small meat type, but he is also worthy of the title of handsome guy. When we were colleagues, it was six years ago. At that time, he just graduated and came to our company as an intern. Because he felt that the job was suitable for him in all aspects, he chose to stay after the internship.

Through getting along with colleagues day and night, we can see that he is a very stable young man, who does not smoke or drink, and has not found any other bad hobbies. I go to work on time every day and never go to nightclubs after work. As far as I know, I like reading books and watching movies when I like them, which basically retains the simplicity of my student days.

At our age, colleagues are basically either married or ready to get married. And he, among our colleagues for three years, has never talked about an object.

Back to now, I asked him why the man he said broke up.

He said that when he was not in love, he had a yearning for marriage. When he talks about love, he finds that he should be patient everywhere. Others only think about themselves. As a man, he can't just think about himself. That would be labeled selfish. When your girlfriend is angry, you can't find her, and you have to try your best to coax her. And I, sometimes very tired, sometimes in a bad mood, but no one has ever ignored me, I want to repair myself. It's like I took a one-way street with only one-way traffic, but I didn't appreciate the scenery of the past. It's more like I'm the output of the artery, but I don't have the input of the vein, so it's over.

Two days ago, she said that there was a movie just released and she wanted to see it, so I booked a ticket for the evening. The opening time is one hour after work, so there will be no delay.

But the plan will never keep up with the change. Unexpectedly, the company suddenly had something urgent to catch up with and asked us to work overtime. What should I do? The first is that I just didn't work overtime and had a quarrel with the leader; Don't watch the second movie for the time being, watch it tomorrow or take time to watch it again. Obviously, I am not a person who is prone to friction with leaders, and I can only explain it to my girlfriend. But she won't listen to your explanation. She just wants to see the premiere. After hearing what she said, it would be boring to watch it again. If I don't go, she will go by herself. I didn't say much to her because I was anxious to work overtime and finish the work early.

After work, I thought I should have finished watching the movie, so I called her, but I refused to answer it directly, didn't say anything, and didn't reply to the text messages. I was working overtime so late, and I felt a little uncomfortable. I had to deal with her feelings when I got home. In fact, this kind of situation has happened many times. Finally, I treated her to a good meal and gave her a red envelope to coax her.

I'm in a bad mood this time, so I'm not going to coax her. I'll hang her and see what she wants. If you can, you can, and if you can't, you've had enough.

I haven't been in touch for two days. Finally, girls may feel a little bad. She contacted me and asked me why you didn't talk to me or coax me. I told her directly that we really don't fit in. You can be emotional, you can lose your temper at will, you can ignore me at any time, I can't, but I also have emotions. I have a bad mood, too. I'm tired. In the long run, I always pay the bill alone. This kind of love is becoming more and more undesirable. Finally, even though the girls cried and admitted their waywardness, they didn't save their feelings in the end.

I asked him, are you still in a hurry to find someone? His answer is to find, but don't worry, you can't meet the happiness you want, and being single is also a good choice. At least, you're alone.

In fact, not only colleagues, but also friends around me. When I was young, I was around 30. The same situation is that parents, relatives and friends are anxious to get angry, but they are not in a hurry. Instead, I live a very nourishing life, travel from time to time and go where I want to go.

Chatting with them summed up the following points:

In the past, people's ideas were fixed, so that many people were still "wet behind the ears" and were urged by their families to arrange marriages.

Now there is an objective factor that has changed people's thinking, that is, people's education level has improved. There is also a key point, that is, the higher the education level, the older you are, the more ways you can entrust your personal life and thoughts, and love is no longer the main emotional carrier.

Most boys of marriageable age are the product of family planning. After more than 20 years of development, this problem suddenly appeared. The conditions are good, and all the advantages have been found. Those who can't find it have also experienced countless failures and lost confidence in love and marriage. They no longer regard it as a yearning, but as a kind of pressure. Who wants to carry a boulder every day, simply don't pursue it.

In fact, the ancients studied human nature thoroughly, so they had the Garden and Hongchun Building, which became a paradise for men. Now, can you say that people nowadays don't understand human nature? Actually, it's not. It's possible without prohibition. It seems that both hands liberate everything, but in fact, each has its own way.

Therefore, there are changes in thinking, forced by the environment and forced by the situation. It used to be influenced by culture, but now it is.

Hello, a 30-year-old boy doesn't want to find a girlfriend for the following reasons:

1, girls pay more and more attention to money. For a 30-year-old boy, in fact, salary and status can't enter the eyes of girls of the same age.

Therefore, boys who are familiar with this point choose not to have girlfriends and not to associate with girls.

After all, as men, they know exactly where their advantages lie, that is, after the age of 40, that is, after their successful careers.

When they are 40 years old, keep the change, and naturally there will be beautiful young girls coming to the door.

So before that, these boys just need to patiently accumulate strength and grow up patiently. After all, it's not the right time, even if they give their heart, they won't be rewarded!

Generally speaking, boys are more stressed! For modern society, we still have to admit that in modern society, the pressure on boys is increasing.

Whether in love, marriage or married life.

Those who take on more responsibilities and obligations become boys. The most obvious example is that a girl with ten dollars will definitely drink a cup of milk tea, and a boy with ten dollars will definitely only choose to drink two dollars of mineral water, and eight dollars will definitely be saved.

It is this unfair responsibility and obligation that inevitably leads boys to be unwilling to find a girlfriend and enter marriage.

It is not that they are unwilling to take responsibility, but that in this relationship, the responsibilities and obligations between men and women are really not equal enough.

3, boys are more willing to play with boys! Now there is such a social psychology that many boys have realized that falling in love, getting married and having children are no longer the only purpose of life.

There are many other possibilities in life.

And they really don't want to waste their time on finding a girlfriend and getting married until they realize other possibilities.

The other is that young people nowadays are increasingly accepting the idea that boys and boys may be more interesting together.

Of course, there are also some boys who believe in love and are not ready for love and marriage in the face of fate.

The above reasons are all a psychological process of social diversification, which is actually quite good. After all, after a hundred years of life, marriage is definitely not the only purpose. There are really many other things waiting for us to do, don't you think?

This question is almost tailor-made for me. Let me talk about my feelings and thoughts.

The first point: social atmosphere. As we all know, the divorce rate is much higher than the marriage rate. The Civil Affairs Bureau is a divorced couple, and there are almost no people in the marriage window. This is also the most worrying problem for young people now.

It's not easy to find someone who can live a lifetime. Now the divorce rate is so high that many people would rather get married a few years later than wait for the right person. Some people even have the idea of not getting married until they find the right person. This is also an important factor affecting the marriage of young people.

The second point: the influence of "experienced people". Many couples who have been married or given birth to children and have unhappy lives tell unmarried young people that it is better not to get married, and it is better not to get married and have children, which reduces a lot of burdens.

The third point: money. Now that house prices are so high, many people can't afford their mortgages until they retire. With such high prices, their children's education costs are higher. Many young people can't earn much money, but they still have to honor their parents and can't afford to buy a house, a car or a bride price. This is the most important realistic factor.

The fourth point: it's no use being anxious. Feelings depend on fate, even if you are anxious. Finding a satisfactory object is the most important thing, so many people are waiting for the other person to appear one day.

Generally speaking, men nowadays are not clean to anyone, and women nowadays feel that marrying anyone is a loss, so they have accomplished many phenomena different from the current customs.

Boys around the age of 30 have already passed the age of anxiety, and girlfriends are no longer a necessity. With the general improvement of social openness, thanks to various chat and dating software derived from telecommunications and communication services, both boys and girls are no strangers to heterosexual communication, and some views on traditional views on marriage and sexual love also reflect the characteristics of the new generation. Under normal circumstances, with the gradual physical development and psychological maturity, boys will like and appreciate the opposite sex from the beginning of high school. When I was in college, because I was in a foreign land and lacked the restraint and care of my parents and relatives, making friends and talking to people has become a commonplace. This period is also the stage when single men and women are most eager for the opposite sex. And the way of communication between the opposite sex is not limited to love, such as noodles, slaps, friendship cannons, one-night stands, and so on. After this passionate time, with the maturity of thought and comprehensive cognition, both men and women will enter a relatively calm stage. The first thing to consider next is how to choose a job, how to survive, how to choose between hobbies and jobs, and how to strike a balance between personality characteristics and group requirements. At the age of 30, my career has just started, which is the key stage to climb the hill and make achievements. All kinds of pressure, competition and unfriendliness from society, units, relatives and friends have overwhelmed a man. Today's society is developing rapidly and the living environment is changing with each passing day. As a man, his territory is not divided, and food and clothing are not solved. Where did you get the energy to talk about an affair? My brother is an older boy, and I want to talk about my feelings.

Now people are more and more educated, so when?

They were about 24-25 years old when they graduated. It is difficult and urgent to turn knowledge into ability after graduation. Besides, a lot of social knowledge is still unknown, so we should actively study it. So during this time, we should work hard to survive and forget to find someone to marry. I said, how can I get married before my career is established? Even if I want to get married, no girl wants to marry you on your terms. If I can't support myself, can I still support my family? !

After two or three years, the job is stable and you can consider getting married. Here comes the problem again. Are the personalities suitable for each other? Is the family background suitable? Is the height suitable? Is the occupation suitable? Are material conditions suitable for marriage? Wait ... every problem is like an insurmountable mountain. I have been looking for beautiful women for two or three years. Forget it, things always come naturally, and you can't eat hot tofu if you are impatient. Besides, you are sorry for yourself when you get married. So, be patient and work hard step by step! At this point, you calculate how old they are! So, it's not that their boss is not in a hurry, but that he can't be in a hurry at all. If you are anxious, what can you do?

It's not easy for people who haven't been to college. He entered the society in his early twenties. At first, he was too young to understand the world. Slowly know more about society, but have no knowledge and skills. What can you do in the face of life growth? Can you still reach the sky step by step and live by hard work step by step? Isn't it harder to live from the bottom of society? Survival is not easy to solve. How many years do you think a moment will be? No matter how it develops, it's not small. Get married quickly. But if you want to talk about marriage, the scope of mate selection is so narrow. Just find a rural daughter-in-law, but the water flows upwards, and rural girls still want to find a relatively excellent young man. You have been working for a long time, and now you are still a wage earner. Who will like it? With the development of society, there is not even a brick and a half tile house in this wage earner city. Who yearns for you? So try hard first, then try hard!

Objectively speaking, it is not that these young people are not enterprising, but that the society has progressed and people's requirements for marriage have increased, so young people should first try their best to set up a good career. Work hard, young man, and be rewarded by heaven!

In real life, there are indeed many boys around the age of 30 who are unmarried. The reasons are analyzed as follows:

First, the conditions are not mature. For example, no money, no car, no house. Now some girls are very realistic, and boys don't have these strengths, so don't try to talk about marriage with girls. Even if a boy is in love, he can talk to a girl. However, when the other party talks about cars, houses and bride price, boys will flinch.

Second, boys play with their hearts. There is a boy around me who usually meets a group of motorcycle friends. After being busy, he began to plan a motorcycle trip. Going to Tibet this year, going to Xinjiang next year, and go to dali the year after ... How can you have time to settle down and fall in love? In a flash, I am still not married at the age of 30.

Third, start a career before getting married. Some boys think that it doesn't matter if you have at most two children now and get married later. Moreover, boys around the age of 30 have their own ideas and know that the cost of feeding and education for children is high. If you don't work hard when you are young, once you get married and start a business early, you won't have more energy to earn money to support your family. Therefore, under this psychological trend, some 30-year-old boys have made a decision to start a career before getting married.

Fourth, the negative impact. If most of the close friends around boys are married and divorced, under such influence, they will have a psychological shadow and will make up their mind to get married later. Because divorce is a painful thing for both parties, if both parties have children, once divorced, the most painful thing is the children. Under this extreme effect, boys who want to get married at the age of 30 are scared to death. As a result, I lost confidence in getting married.

Five, single. Some 30-year-old boys want to emulate some stars and envy the way of single life. As a result, they think that they are not free when they get married, and they are worried that they will be influenced by their wives everywhere in their lives, or they are afraid of being dragged down by their families. A single person, unconstrained, can be alone. Once they have developed the concept of celibacy, they may never want to get married again, not to mention not getting married around 30.

6. The ratio between men and women is unbalanced. Today, there are nearly 35 million bachelors in China. Don't underestimate this data, it can be equivalent to the population of Poland. However, most of these bachelors come from the countryside. The poor rural economy, coupled with the skyrocketing bride price in rural areas year by year, has led to men around the age of 30 or even older not getting married.

To sum up, there are various factors for unmarried boys around the age of 30. Different families, different environments and different ideas occupy it; But also influenced the concept that older young people are reluctant to get married.

In any case, I hope that boys around the age of 30 can devote themselves to vigorous love and enter a beautiful marriage hall as soon as possible!

Today's society has formed certain customs. Why? Just as more and more women are unwilling to get married. There is no sense of existence and responsibility in society. As we all know, looking for a girlfriend is to get married. In the future, the cost of cohabitation is higher and the responsibility is greater. The psychology of a 30-year-old man is that I haven't found the person who makes me willing to accept the status quo, so I never dare to take that step easily. I don't want to say whether women are material or not, and I may not be able to provide material for free. When you are emotionally mature, you can calculate the cost of making a girlfriend, and you will shrink back! The boy's psychology is that I am eager for success and have a place to meet the other half, so this is also the anxiety of my parents. The ancients said to get married first and then get married, but today's society likes to get married first. I have a certain foundation. I hope my other half has the same ambition, the same goal, or help others in other ways. So the choice is difficult? Let him psychologically accept that a person has become his wife now, not for life, and he will feel very confused! This is also the reason why they are unwilling to change the status quo and prefer to be single.

With the progress of the times, people's ideas about marriage and love have naturally improved. Unlike before, people get hungry when they find someone. As long as men are women, there is no choice at all. I can only make do with finding one for my own physiological needs and for the sake of carrying on the family line. Besides, according to our traditional concept in China, being the number one scholar is in the bridal chamber, and it is a long-term drought to meet bosom friends. Marriage is the four important things in life.

Now our national quality has improved a lot, and men are sober. First of all, getting married now needs to pay attention to the cost and it is a high-cost operation. The biggest investment may be the house, followed by child care, and other investments in study and career. If these things are not fully planned, two people rush into marriage, so it may hurt not only themselves, but also their next generation.

Also, women's eyes are becoming more and more realistic now. The era of feeling and drinking enough water has passed, and love seems to have no nutrition and value in people's eyes. So no woman wants to run naked with you, so even some men want to get married before starting a career, but this wish can't be realized at all. Moreover, love and marriage are two-way choices. Not only does a woman want to choose a man with better conditions, but also does a man choose this woman to meet his wishes? Is it your own dish? So in this way, everyone chooses to come and choose the past. The more difficult it is, the more outrageous it is. Finally, there are more and more leftover men and women in this society, which is also created by the ethos of the times. No one can crack it. [Cover your face] [Cover your face] [Cover your face]