Each of us wants to have good resources and good contacts in an excellent circle to realize our life ideals and wealth freedom.
But for most people, the circle we are in now is not our ideal circle. In other words, if you want to get better resources, you must go up. Then how can we ordinary people expand our contacts by socializing upwards, get the resources we want and enter a better circle?
The book "Socializing Up" brought me the answer, which is a practical reference book for disassembling and analyzing conversation skills, and also an encyclopedia of communication knowledge. This book has written many details about conversation and communication skills, so that we can learn how to communicate better with others in its actual cases.
Of course, the ultimate goal of upward socialization is to get close to the light, follow the light, become the light, and emit light.
The author of Social Upward is Patrick King, an American best-selling author. He is a social coach in San Francisco, California, USA. He has a unique teaching method and a deep understanding of how to get along with others. He has written bestsellers, such as Magic and Being a Kanye.
Powerful people are good at socializing because they know that if they want to make progress, they must communicate with people who are better than themselves. So, how do you know these people who are better than yourself? So, there is this book: Socializing Up: How to Get Excellent People Close to You.
A few small steps to make your life easier:
1, meet new friends, find your similarities and establish topics of common interest.
Many of us don't know what to say when we meet a new friend. When you meet someone you want to know at a party, what will be the first topic of your small talk with him?
Where are you from?
Who do you know here?
How was your last week?
Which school did you graduate from?
Although these are common small talk questions, the effect of using these questions to break the deadlock is often unsatisfactory and even makes people feel bored immediately.
We ask these questions instinctively because we are actually looking for similarities. We are looking for "Me too!" This moment can lead to more in-depth discussion.
For example, if you both happen to graduate from the same university, you will naturally sigh, "Wow, what a small world!" Although you may not realize it, you have been looking for similarities between you and the other person, thus bringing the relationship between the two people closer.
This is probably the reason why the ancients said that "meeting an old friend in another country" can become one of the four highlights of life. The same hometown, the same teacher you know, the same book you like and the same actor you admire may turn you into people with the same frequency.
This is the first step to socialize, make new friends and find similarities and common topics between you.
2, in the process of communication, charm offensive, emphasize your feelings * * *.
The easiest way to launch a charm offensive is to praise. A quick and direct compliment can let the other side temporarily unload their guard against you.
Praise embodies one of the most basic psychological characteristics of human beings: we are eager to be noticed. We like to be in the spotlight and get the attention we think we deserve.
When you study it carefully, you will find that most people feel a little embarrassed when accepting sincere compliments from others. So praise actually has a great influence on them and can also promote the relationship between you.
The most difficult thing in charm offensive is to turn enemies into friends. You can quickly turn a stranger into a friend, but how to turn your enemy into your friend?
Repeated lines in TV series: there are no eternal enemies and no eternal friends.
For example, if your team meets an unreasonable customer, if you can seize this opportunity, win over the boss who usually has a hard time with you, establish a relationship with him, and make him realize that you are a team, then he will regard you as an ally against the enemy, and then he will open his heart to get to know you and understand the benefits you can bring him.
When you want to establish an alliance or close relationship with some people, you don't care whether they have a good or bad impression of you now. What you have to do is to make you stand on the United front through charm offensive and establish private and identical feelings between you.
If you are really not a passer-by, you should learn to stand upright and not give the other person a handle.
A popular sentence on the internet before was: I'm not RMB, so why does everyone like me?
You will always meet some people who are out of place with you. But you can't just say "I just don't like him" in a big field, which will make others think that you are frivolous and too small.
When you want to leave a party that you are not interested in smoothly, even before you leave, you should make yourself look like you are enjoying a happy time, enjoying the music of the band and talking and laughing with everyone. In this way, when you leave, others will not think that the party or the people present let you down.
Hiding is sometimes the best self-defense. In the adult world, we should still keep some secrets that belong to us. Some people, some things, you may not like, but there is no need to tell the world loudly that you don't like them.
There are many ways to say goodbye and leave. Learning to leave properly can increase others' impression of you.
The above three points can make us more popular in social interaction with others.
Those big coffees we want to know are actually ordinary people, just one step ahead of us.
But a cruel fact is that the adult world emphasizes the exchange of interests. Why should the big coffee make friends with you, why should it provide you with resources, and what is the value worthy of the other party to replace resources?
Everyone has his own advantages, actively observe what the other person needs, see if he can help the other person, express his praise in time, treat others sincerely, keep his necessary edge and unique personality, and cross the Buddha when he meets the Buddha.
End.