First, when children grow up, some emotions will naturally breed. With the physiological and psychological needs and social influence (enlightenment), it is inevitable to have a "love affair" with the opposite sex. Every adult has experienced the special feelings between boys and girls, because it is more of a "natural attribute", which is also the reason why makarenko, a Soviet educator, pointed out that "love cannot be forbidden". Respect is undoubtedly the best choice for the needs of this "person" in the process of growth.

Second, there is a lack of lofty ideals and firm beliefs. Due to the vigorous development of national higher education and the expansion of colleges and universities, the phenomenon of college entrance examination, which determines the fate of candidates, is gradually fading. If adolescent students do not have clear ideals and goals, they will easily lose their motivation to learn and be easily influenced by adolescent growth.

Third, the family environment. Students lack communication with their parents in adolescence, and they can't get their parents' care and understanding. They are easily moved by the concern of the opposite sex of the same age and fall into puppy love.

Fourth, the influence of literary and artistic works. Influenced by romantic feelings in some literary works, many students are keen on gossip news of singers and movie stars, and are deeply moved by it, pursuing curiosity and simply imitating love behavior.

Fifth, families and schools neglect to provide students with appropriate sexual knowledge and moral education. Adolescent students can't get care and understanding from families and schools due to different degrees of sexual confusion and anxiety, which leads to strong rebellious psychology.

Now the attitude of teachers and parents towards puppy love is quite worrying, and the cases exposed by the media make people think: what should teachers and parents do? For example, in April 2004, Qingdao Evening News reported that "two children were dismissed by their teachers because of puppy love". After "puppy love" was discovered by the class teacher, two students in Jimo No.3 Middle School were not only asked to write a letter of guarantee, but also told to drop out of school automatically or be ordered to drop out of school by the school. Two students who were overwhelmed left the school. Girls in Xuanwei No.1 Middle School in Yunnan were punished in public.

The storm of puppy love defeated the girl ",and the class teacher learned about the problem of" puppy love "of Xiaoyue and corporal punishment in public, which led to Xiaoyue's mental disorder; Chifeng City, Inner Mongolia "Puppy Love Blocks Daughter Schizophrenia"

Both parents were arrested for murdering their parents. "Four years ago, my daughter was banned by her parents because of puppy love and suffered from schizophrenia. Her parents were so tired that she strangled her daughter. Puppy love is the product of many aspects. I think we should start from the following aspects:

First, help parents treat their children's puppy love correctly. At present, 80% of teenagers who have "puppy love" behavior are related to improper education of their parents or problems in their relationship. Therefore, parents should be the first to prevent their children from having real "puppy love". According to the psychological counseling of teenagers in the Green Apple Hotline in recent two years, thousands of calls received by the hotline in recent years are about ideological issues such as "puppy love". On the phone, children reflect that their parents can't communicate with them, which leads to rebellion or revenge and "puppy love", or seek the warmth of the opposite sex because of family problems. Among them, "puppy love" mostly occurs because of family breakdown, disagreement between parents and long-term absence of parents. Parents should not add psychological burden to their children after learning about their puppy love, because love is determined by hormones beyond our control and has nothing to do with morality and age. Under normal circumstances, children should feel that their parents can be close and talk, so that they can relax, and naturally they will not only focus on a friend of the opposite sex.

Second, help middle school students who are puppy love to treat puppy love correctly. Because of the concealment and mystery of puppy love, some middle school students often contact and associate in private, and they also feel guilty and are afraid of being known by their parents and teachers, which is very unfavorable for their healthy growth. The class teacher and parents should let the children know that puppy love is wrong, but once it happens, it is not a bad thing or a wrong thing. It is a very happy thing for a person to love and be loved by others, but adolescent middle school students are not mature physically and psychologically and do not have the conditions to deal with all aspects of love and marriage. If you really like someone, you should improve yourself in all aspects, strive to make yourself a career, create various conditions for each other to be happy, and think more about each other. You should not affect each other's study and development because of puppy love. It is also necessary to guide children to understand the dangers of puppy love. The biggest influence of adolescent students' puppy love is to delay their studies, which invisibly distracts their will and energy, leading to a decline in their academic performance. Secondly, puppy love will inevitably affect life goals. Society, schools and families should actively help young students to establish lofty ideals and ambitions, and establish a positive outlook on life and the world; Care about the growth of young students, organize colorful cultural and sports activities and community culture, extensively cultivate young students' interests and hobbies, and try to provide them with opportunities to participate in practice and serve the public. You can also tell them that this is a warm-up before your real love begins. You can think of it as a candy, but it can never replace your present dinner. There are many more important things in life than love waiting for you to do. There is a metaphor, now you are in a high-speed train, and the scenery outside the window is beautiful, but if you get off and browse the scenery, you will never catch the train again.

Third, help students learn normal heterosexual communication. We should encourage children to communicate widely and naturally. If children want to communicate openly and openly with the opposite sex, they will not have excessive affection for individual opposite sex. Although peers are in love, parents should not let their children break up with their classmates who are in love. Because the driving force of peers is great, which is greater than that of parents and teachers. Parents should take a relaxed attitude and let their children naturally choose whether to follow their feelings into the state of love and establish themselves in the choice. Teachers and parents should provide children with enough information and suggestions to help them judge for themselves whether this is correct, whether it should be done and whether it is worthwhile. Compared with heteronomy, the effect of self-discipline will be more significant and lasting, and it is also a way that children are willing to accept. Therefore, in the process of guiding the communication between boys and girls, I emphasize three points: first, I emphasize the collective communication between boys and girls, and oppose personal communication and personal dating. Second, pay attention to mastering a "degree" in the process of communication, which is neither formal nor casual; Don't be too cold, don't be too close; Don't be too serious and don't be too ostentatious. In short, we should be sincere, frank and generous, and pay attention to the differences between men and women, just like same-sex communication.

Fourth, help puppy love children get out of trouble. Children in the embryonic stage of youth are full of hopes and fantasies, and their inner world is wonderful, but they don't want to show it. At this time, if we actively guide them, we will open a beautiful and mysterious window of the soul and let their enthusiasm and intelligence flow out continuously; If they are forcibly subdued, they will hide their broken hearts deeply and let depression and confusion accompany them. Therefore, adults should not look at and criticize them with the eyes of adults, because most of the friends made by children are not adult love affairs. It is better to teach them some necessary knowledge of physiology and sex science in adolescence, so that children can communicate with the opposite sex generously on the one hand, and increase their rational consciousness on the other hand, and learn to adjust and control their feelings. When I deal with these things, I follow the following points: first, I must fully understand; Second, I want to keep it secret and not render it; Third, the methods can be flexible and diverse; Fourth, don't catch shadows, don't go online, and don't pay attention to methods.

For the sake of children's life, let "puppy love" develop normally and get reasonable guidance from educators! Education that respects "people" is a good education.