Mutual understanding, mutual recognition, mutual support, unwavering determination, and lifelong friends.

"It is enough to have a confidant in life."

Those who know themselves very well and have deep friendships: A scholar dies for his confidant. People who know each other and have a deep friendship: there are close friends in the sea, and they are like neighbors across the world.

How to get along with others may be an important life issue that everyone must learn. When you come to the university dormitory, you need to learn how to get along with your roommates. Of course, it is good to meet an approachable roommate, but your own "practice" is also very important!

Many people look forward to having "someone who understands me" by their side and the appearance of a "confidant". However, while some students are establishing this kind of relationship that goes beyond ordinary friends, they encounter setbacks and feel frustrated, angry, and betrayed. They even no longer believe in the existence of "trustworthy friends" and their enthusiasm for making friends immediately drops. Is it so difficult to find a "confidant"?

In fact, if you want to find a close friend in life, you must first return to the definition of the word "close friend". As the name implies, "confidant" simply means a friend who knows and understands one's inner self. Deep down in the heart, everyone actually has other subjective identifications of "bosom friend". If you can't first examine your own thoughts about "bosom friend" hidden in your heart, and at the same time understand the other person's view of "bosom friend", the two will rashly become "Bosom friends" usually end up being "separated due to understanding".

How can you maintain a constant "confidant" friendship with your friends? The first thing is to get rid of some specious ideas:

"There are no secrets between close friends. These people are less likely to allow their "close friends" to do things they don't know. Wherever the other party goes and what they do, they must first "Report" to yourself, either go together, or you have to get your permission before going. Think about it, do these people want "real friends", or do they want "slaves" under their control?

People often think that since they are "confidants", they "should" understand me. Therefore, when there are conflicts, they should be able to understand his thoughts compared to ordinary friends, but they forget that we are mutually exclusive. They are not "roundworms in the other person's belly". Even I can't understand them deeply, and my mood and attitude will change at any time, let alone a "confidant"?

A "confidant" must be able to "cut both sides". If a "confidant" refuses his request, he is no longer a "confidant". However, there are indeed some things in the world that cannot be ignored, such as skipping school with a close friend, eating and drinking together, etc. This kind of "close friend" is blind obedience, not a "real friend"!

From a psychological perspective, all psychologically healthy behaviors have one characteristic, which is the "golden mean." "Too much is not enough" is unhealthy! The same is true for interpersonal relationships. People who are too close and completely trusting or too distant and completely distrustful will not be able to achieve interpersonal satisfaction. A relationship that is too close makes people feel suffocated and stressed, while a relationship that is too alienated makes people feel lonely.

There is a Chinese saying that goes very well, "Everything must be reversed when it reaches its extreme", and the same is true for "confidant". Although the sweet feelings that are so strong that they cannot be dissolved are desirable, they will usually be followed by deterioration and collapse. untie. True friendship is like delicious rice, "a little sticky but not too sticky." If it is not sticky, it will not show the friendship between the two people, but if it is too sticky, it will deprive each other of space. I hope that before we become "confidants", it is best to Start by having this healthy thought.

The definition of confidant in the dictionary is "to have understanding and friendship with others." In Wang Bo's "Sending Du Cai's Mansion to Shuzhou", "There are close friends in the sea, and we are as close to each other as far as the end of the world". He uses simple and affectionate words to express his concern for his friends. From this talented poet's comfort to his friends who are traveling far away After talking to each other, it was obvious that he really understood and cared about this friend. And "The meaning of parting with you, *** is an eunuch" further explains the mutual understanding between friends and expresses this friendship nakedly. After reading this poem, I was deeply affected by the profound friendship and the inseparable mood.

Are confidants equal to friends? I think a close friend is just one type of friend, and there are many types of friends, some are casual acquaintances, and some are sworn acquaintances. Most people think that close friends can be regarded as close friends, but I think that close friends are not as good as close friends. There are many words to describe a confidant, such as "A scholar will die for a confidant" and "If you have a confidant in life, you will die without regrets." This all proves that people have different concepts about close friends and close friends. People will never say that they will die without regrets if they have a close friend.

In fact, it is very difficult to find a confidant. Some people have never found a confidant in their lives. Even now, I have not found a confidant.

So, what kind of friend can be regarded as a confidant? When close friends get along, they must understand and care for each other. The relationship between a pair of close friends lies in mutual appreciation, not in making fun of each other or taking advantage of each other. They must treat each other sincerely and do not cheat or deceive. In addition, to become a pair of close friends, they must have the same interests, so that they can have the same topics. If they do not have the same interests, they will naturally have few topics to talk about when they get along. No matter how you accommodate each other, it will feel boring, and it will be difficult to become close friends.

My hobby is reading. I like Chinese language and Chinese literature, but none of my friends have interests similar to mine, so I often feel lonely. I long for a confidant to appear by my side all the time. The longing for a confidant makes me think of the saying "If you have a confidant in life, you will die without regrets." I thought that if I could find a confidant, I might be able to die without regrets.

It is very difficult to have a confidant in your life. If a confidant appears by your side, you must cherish it. Because a confidant is really rare

A bosom friend is a bosom friend

Nowadays, whether online or in life, pursuing and having a confidant of the opposite sex seems to have become a kind of fashionable. People put a very warm coat on this kind of opposite-sex confidant, that is, "confidant" or "blue-faced confidant". However, not all people can enjoy this warmth. The reason is that it is not easy to define a "confidant" or "a close friend".

In fact, whether it is a beautiful girl or a blue girl, as long as they are close friends, they are talking about a mutual exchange of emotions. This sentence contains three meanings:

The first meaning is to have feelings.

The premise of the so-called bosom friend is that there is mutual respect, mutual love and mutual appreciation between two people, and at the same time, they can understand, tolerate and care for each other. Therefore, a close friend can be without sex, but he can never be without affection or love. Without affection, without love, people can still understand, respect, tolerate and appreciate. It can exist between two friends and can be regarded as a friendship, but the relationship between these two people cannot be regarded as a confidant.

The second meaning is that this feeling must be mutual.

Although there are feelings, if it is only one-sided contribution, it cannot be called a confidant. You can admire a great man, appreciate a star, and even respect a political figure, but if you regard great men, celebrities, and political figures as confidants, that is just wishful thinking on your part.

The third level means that there must be exchanges and communication between each other.

Without communication and communication, there will be no corresponding feedback on each other’s experiences and insights. Without the understanding of communication, it may become incomprehension, and without the care of communication, it is impossible to achieve true care.

Therefore, as close friends, we must have mutual respect, mutual appreciation, and mutual love. We must communicate and communicate with each other in order to achieve the realm of mutual understanding, mutual tolerance, and mutual care. Without any of these, None of them can be called a confidant.

To put it simply, whether it is a "girlfriend" or a "blue girl", as long as they are close friends, it is a "mutual" relationship, otherwise it is unrequited love.