It seems that your story is quite tortuous. I think if you want to love, just love and follow your own inner life:

When I was a child, I also had extremely low self-esteem due to family reasons. I complained about why other people’s children had to be picked up and dropped off by their grandparents when they went to school, and parents would come to attend, but I watched eagerly and envied those warm scenes. I also hated why my college had to be so hard and other students could be there. During the severe cold weather, I stayed in the dormitory and chatted on the Internet with my boyfriend on the phone. However, I had to use my spare time to work part-time to earn living expenses. I hated my parents even more for why they were living in a household. The little bits of assets are fighting to the death and insulting each other. They have given us nothing, and they have left us who have not yet stepped out of society to bear hundreds of thousands of debts owed by them. But I know it is useless to hate them. After all, they gave me life. I want to work hard to make money. Pay off the debt owed by my parents. For this reason, I rejected all the boys who liked me in high school because I knew that I was not qualified to like them. I had no time or capital to fall in love, even though I had secretly liked them.

During the Expo, I was working in Shanghai during the summer. After 10 p.m., my sister and I set up a street stall at the Hongkou Football Stadium to earn my tuition and living expenses for the next school year. After the summer vacation, I was not willing to spend money to go to the Expo, and I kept comforting myself: I won’t go. I regret going to the World Expo, and I regret even more after going there.

School started, and on the train back to school I met a fat boy with black-rimmed glasses. When he smiled, he would squint his eyes and stick out his tongue. He was innocent and cute. Maybe I can describe a boy like this a lot. Everyone will find it funny, but if everyone can experience it like me, they will know how rare "pure things" are. But when you feel cold at night and see the dim lights in the distance, your eyes It will also be moist

I like him very much. Finally, before the train arrived at the station, I mustered up the courage to ask for his and his classmates’ numbers. Even if I plan to contact him in the future, I will know his name and I will think of it often in the future. I felt very inferior until many days and many days of mental struggle before I plucked up the courage to find his number and press the OK button

Later I found out that both of his parents were very knowledgeable. 211,985 graduated from university and worked as a teacher. His family is relatively well off, and my monthly living expenses are 1/4 of his, but he can work part-time with me on rainy days. Protect me from the wind and rain. The classmates who work part-time with me all think he is my boyfriend haha. Just like that, I felt very happy. After we started dating for a week, he took me to meet his parents. I never told him that the luckiest thing about me was meeting him.

Until now, we Our relationship is very good, and his parents are also very good and caring to me. I graduated and worked in his parents' company.

In the future, I plan to get married naked because love really cannot be measured by money and worldly affairs. After this, build your own home and live a quiet life

I have said so much, I just want to use my story to tell you that you must be brave to love and use the power of love to improve yourself

I wish you find true love! (* *)