Before becoming a mother, you can go wherever you want, do whatever you want, and eat whatever you want without thinking much. Buy whatever you like, "a woman's wardrobe is always missing a dress"; "Women have as many feet as centipedes." Buy clothes and shoes that look pleasing to the eye. You can try your best to cooperate with the company at work, even if you work overtime until midnight.
After becoming a mother, these "freedoms" seem to be extremely rare.
After becoming a mother, you should consider which places are suitable for children to play, you will choose what nutrition your children need, and you will start to scrimp and save for family expenses and children's education funds. The child is ill, you are even more reluctant to go to work, and you are absent-minded at the boss's meeting. You just want to go home to the kids.
No one limits your freedom, but after becoming a mother, in our nature, you have an invisible yoke that limits your own freedom.
After becoming a mother, I discovered that mental suffering is more bitter than physical suffering.
I think the hardest thing about being a mother is the pain of giving birth. After becoming a mother, you know that mental pain is more bitter than physical pain. During the day, children are busy eating and drinking Lazar, playing, reading, tidying up housework and cooking ... repeating the same thing like a top every day; The child refused to sleep at midnight, and the other half had to go to work the next day. The work of appeasement naturally falls on you, and often, you have been exhausted by the bed.
I feel that every day seems so long and hard. I hope God's teammates will get off work soon and let you catch your breath. What's more, when a child is sick, watching her little body pain will only make her cry but not express it. That kind of inner remorse and suffering is the deepest pain after becoming a mother.
Have you ever cared about yourself and loved yourself since you became a mother?
Before you became a mother, you cared about your life, friends, career, feelings and so on. These parts that love yourself more, you unconsciously and selflessly gave new life from the moment you learned that you were pregnant.
You can't love and care about yourself completely. You take care of the new life in your belly, start looking for information, reading books and eating all kinds of nutrients. Start to care about all the needs of the new life in your belly … and this care is not the end of the birth of a new life, but endless efforts until you can do it.
After having children, you can go out without trimming or simply dressing up, regardless of other people's eyes, but it takes a lot of effort to equip your children. After becoming a mother, even if others see you, they should first care about "you after becoming a mother."
"You become a mother! You must eat nutritious food to make your baby healthy. You have to take care of yourself to take care of your children! " , "ah! Are you sick? What about the baby? Who will take care of it? Few people care about "the real you" first. And have you really cared about yourself since you became a mother? Have you really expressed your inner feelings?
Often for the sake of children or families, you often have to force yourself to take care of the overall situation, and you can't let the family you have worked so hard to build be intimidated or hurt.
Recommended reading: generation after generation: from daughter to mother, timely greetings in life.
What you need to learn more after becoming a mother:
1. Learn to let go
Mom is the most inconsistent character! Facing the battlefield living room, toys and books are messy, clothes and quilts are piled up in the room, and the dishes are waiting for you to clean in the kitchen. You want to tidy up well, but you are stuck by sticky people and can't move. One second I was thinking, and the next I was quietly tidying up … because you know, if you don't start tidying up, those piles of chores will be faced sooner or later!
Now I will let go and not force myself to finish anything at this moment. Give yourself time to relax, whether it's a hearty breakfast or a talk with friends, in order to let the role of mother return to zero and find a relaxing moment in the chaotic thoughts.
2. Learn to learn actively
I never thought I would have children in my life. I believe many people are like me. When the child is born, we both expect and fear being hurt. From pregnancy to childbirth to becoming a mother, it seems that overnight, you seem to know everything and understand everything; I am busy with the children's lives day after day every day.
Watching children grow up day by day, the days of hot water and lack of sleep gradually get rid of difficulties, and it seems that they can slowly step into a more normal life track. I suddenly realized that I seemed to be missing something; We accompany our children to grow up and teach them to learn, but what about ourselves? It seems to have stopped.
Children are like sponges and a blank sheet of paper. What you teach them, what they learn; They will observe, learn and imitate what you do. Anything you do, whether consciously or unconsciously, will have an impact on them. We accompany them, study with them, and keep fresh and curious about everything. Keep a positive attitude every time you study, and children will feel the learning concept you bring them over time.
3. Learn to be strong and optimistic
The love that made you cry until dawn when you were a child, the things that once hurt your body and mind, only after you became a mother did you know that those things were only a small part of your life and not enough for you to miss. After becoming a mother, she has to face the change of family view after having children, the pressure of family economy, and all kinds of things that children will face when they grow up.
You can't escape what you are afraid of, and gradually you will become strong and brave to face it, because you have invisible backing, and they make you grow strong!
Recommended reading: Don't be a "primitive" parent! Excessive anxiety will not make children better.
4. Learn to keep a pure heart
The little embryo grows up slowly in my uterus. We took care of her carefully and grew up slowly under the nutrition I gave her. At that time, we just wanted her to be healthy and I could give birth to her smoothly and safely.
As children grow up, we will involuntarily shake our discipline direction because of the external vision and pressure, but they will not follow your footsteps and accept your discipline. They understand more and more that "I also have my own world", and you think that education is not simple and there is a sense of powerlessness.
Sometimes you wish she was still the giggling child. In the face of external disturbances, you understand more and more that simplicity is happiness.
The status of mother is irreplaceable.
You changed from a little girl to a mother; Please relax! Lead children to see the world together; You are irreplaceable! You should be better! Hello, the whole family will be fine!