1 A blind man lighting a lamp may not be a kind of stupidity, or it may be a kind of wisdom or even magnanimity.

2 You will feel very happy when you are silent for a while, but when you are silent for a while, you will feel happy. Silence is miserable

3 Romance without money, I can hold your hand and walk on the beach full of white sand

4 Smiling indulgently is my only pride.

5 You are truly a beauty. That is to say, you are only beautiful in the tunnel, because there are no lights in the tunnel.

6. Whatever you write, will you believe it if you write it? What? You really believe it, why are you so naive!

7 If you have nothing to do, hold a class reunion and break up a pair to be a pair!

8 Love words are told by liars to fools.

9 I had known that looking back five hundred times in my past life could lead to meeting you in this life. I should cut my head off in exchange for meeting you in this life.

10 The flowers on the Naihe Bridge have witnessed the prosperity of whose two lives?

11 There is only memory left to show off, even if it is just to talk about it.

12 A strong life needs no explanation.

13 Longing for the ordinary but unwilling to settle for the ordinary.

14 We misunderstand dependence as love.

15 When mice show their strength, everyone becomes a sick cat.

16 One month before the exam, I thought: strive for first place; one week before: just work hard; after the exam: the most important thing is to participate.

17 Who farted that afternoon? They said it was love - they heard it but didn't see it.

18 Life is her person, death is her mascot.

19 It’s so cold that even taking a shower requires courage.

20 If the sun doesn’t come out, I won’t go to work; if it does, I’ll continue to sleep!

21 Memories always slap me in the face, pointing at old wounds and not allowing me to forget.

22. Everyone who says he doesn’t want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart. . .

23 My lover calls me the third party!

It’s been 24 days and my clothes have lost weight again!

25 Youth is like toilet paper. It seems like there are quite a lot of them, but once I use them, it’s not enough.

26 When I get angry, winter will come; when I get angry in winter, I will become a man in long trousers.

27 When money stands up and speaks, all truth is silent.

28 I want to make chopsticks in my next life, so that I won’t be lonely.

29 Christmas? It has nothing to do with me, my sister is celebrating the Spring Festival.

30 Boss, give me a cup of loneliness! / Sir, I'm sorry, we only have 31 left in our store

In my world, you can watch, but you don't need to speak!

32 It must be my handsomeness that hurts me!

33 The farthest distance in the world: We go out together, you buy four generations of apples, and I buy four bags of apples. . .

34 Love is like a joke, it makes others laugh to death and hurts yourself.

35 There is no private server for relationships, and love cannot be cheated. A wonderful jingle that makes people laugh. A classic jingle that makes people laugh

A wonderful jingle that makes people laugh

1. There seems to be a feeling of fate flowing quietly in the air, rolling Go home and call your female horse out for everyone to have sex with.

2. Because, scientific reason; not only but also, I am Xun dad. Look at you as a jade tree facing the wind, handsome and graceful, loved by everyone, and flowers blooming, I must be sure

3. Thousands of years of accumulated humus, primitive species that even scientists dare not study

4. Shanxi’s mountains, Shanxi’s water, Shanxi’s XX loves smelly beauty, golden hooked nose, toad’s mouth, tiger Eyes, pig butt, and a pair of bow legs, it depends on whether you are stinky or not.

5. The little B boy is evil-minded. After eating the dumplings, he buckles his eyes

6. The old Jb Den pretends to be young and turns around to become a soldier. When holding a gun, he holds a stick, and when people fart, he smells it! Old Jb Den, pretending to be young, turned around and became a soldier. When the captain checked, he saw that he was an old Jb Den, and he kicked him into the cow dung pit!

7. You are not afraid of the sky or the earth, but you are afraid that the teacher will sue your father, and your father will use a big trumpet to blow your face like a chicken.

8. The dangerous building is a hundred feet high, and you are in a hurry to pull it out. Shit, I didn’t bring any paper when I pooped, so I had to use my fingers to wipe it off again and again. Shit was all over the wall

9. The guy who pretends to be a dick will get kicked sooner or later, the guy who pretends to be an egg will get fucked sooner or later! The guy who pretends to be a dick will get kicked sooner or later! Discount, all fractures!

10. The boss farts, the second boss is not satisfied, the third boss reports it to the police station, the fourth boss comes to shoot, the fifth boss carries it, the sixth boss buries it, the seventh boss< /p>

11. Your mother the dominatrix. Chasing your dad with a kitchen knife! Your dad, Batman. Flying around to hide from your mother! Your grandfather loves science. Riding a turtle chasing butterflies! Your grandma sells milk. No one buys moldy milk.

12. Someone gives you two pieces of candy, and you build a hut for them. There is no light in the hut, and you fall into Baba’s pit. You fight with Baba and almost die!

13 . So-and-so’s father is a gang boss, wearing white pants and driving a Santana. So-and-so’s mother, the water for washing her feet is as good as sweet potatoes, and she’s bankrupt for two cents, three cents, three cents, and five cents for three cents! So-and-so’s grandma jumped into the Yellow Sea to win glory for the motherland! So-and-so’s grandpa played with slippers , turn into slippers and play with him

14. It doesn’t matter if your head is empty, the key is not to get wet.

15. You do art, and I do you. This is called in-depth art.

16. Whose husband is a temporary worker?

17. You are my Yulemei, so I can throw you away after drinking.

18. I have never deceived you, because I have never had the need to deceive you.

19. All the food you waste will block your way to heaven.

20. The left side of the brain is full of water, and the right side of the brain is full of flour.

A funny jingle that makes people laugh

1. Parents hope that their children will become successful: one singer, two painters, three calligraphers, four dancers, five movie stars, six writers, seven musical instruments, eight photographers, nine models, and a program host Praise

2. It is still the same every morning, and the past events are in my mind; as time goes by, we are still deeply in love!

3. Who said that being single is not good, but love is precious, The price of freedom is higher, and if you die single, you can throw away both.

4. If you have level but no temper, you are a saint; if you have level and have temper, you are a wise person; if you have no level and have no temper, you are a mediocre person; if you have no level but have temper, you are a bad person.

5. Four symptoms of the hospital: waiting in line for registration, dizziness; doctor’s diagnosis, the goddess scatters flowers; drug charges, it is a fog; long-term treatment, medicine is wasted.

6. The sky is blue, the sea is deep, I am true to you, loving you is eternal, marrying you is impossible

7. First Class Children are blessed, second-class children are lucky when they go away, third-class children are lucky, and fourth-class children are angry.

8. Your promise and my promise together are the promises on the Internet. You give me a beautiful dream, and I will love you for a lifetime!

9. I am a link in the sky. Dragon Girl is like a clump of flowers on the ground. The dragon does not raise its head, it does not rain, and the flowers do not bloom.

10. If you mess with me again, I will block you economically, isolate you politically, torture you mentally, destroy you physically, and abandon you in life.

11. Those who come home from get off work at night are poor people, those who come home at 9pm are drunkards, those who come home at 12pm are perverts, and those who come home at 4am are gamblers.

12. If you are upset, I am blue; if your heart is bitter, I am sweet; if you are sad, I am happy; if your heart is cold, I am spring.

13. Gaoshan Yizhimei, who do you love? I want to have sex with you, and no one can stop me! Once we get married, I’ll be gay, and I’ll be so crazy! If I’m married, I’ll be so mad. Cool!

14. He is obsessed with money, has three meals at public expense, cheats everywhere, has all five evils, disowns his relatives, deceives his superiors and deceives his subordinates, has many tricks up his sleeve, holds nine important positions, and is completely corrupt.

15. There is a hat sitting on the body, shoes on the head, socks chewed in the mouth, mobile phone in hand, staring at the eyes, trying to find fun.

Classic jingles that make people laugh

1. More and more entertainment, less and less pleasure; more and more food, less and less appetite; more and more cohabitation More, less and less love.

2. It’s a bit silly to fall in love with only one, but at least two are the best. Three or five is just right, and ten or eight is cool.

3. The laid-off male worker did not look back. He held two big axes in his hands. When he met the rich man, he yelled and took action when it was time to take action.

4. You are water, I am sand, you and I are mixed together into mud! You are hook and I am fork, we are little enemies together!

5. Me Use my infatuation in exchange for your sincerity; I give my love to my close friend; don't be careless with me, and be united with me forever.

6. Benshan said: There is a lot of commotion in the United States, so let’s not just sit back and watch. One person picked up a board and crossed the strait to fight.

7. The road of life is full of ups and downs. Don’t be sad if you fall down. Get up and bounce on the dirt. There is a paradise ahead.

8. First-class beauties travel across the ocean, second-class beauties go to Shenzhen and Zhuhai, third-class beauties stay in Shanghai, fourth-class beauties wait in the countryside, and fifth-class beauties are sent to labor camps.

9. Shandong people dare to give any gifts, Northeast people dare to accept any gifts, Beijing people dare to say anything, and Cantonese people dare to make any money.

10. You are my everything, the bet of my life, I have suffered hard for you, and been busy all my life for you, but I have no hesitation, it is my sweet happiness.

11. Wearing a hairless Caesar, holding a wireless phone, sitting in a deserted Santana, people call me the boss of the beggar gang.

12. Smile more, cry less; love me more, scold me less; kiss me more, hit me less; I am your little sweetheart.

13. The first-class secretary follows, the second-class secretary writes the report, the third-class secretary handles outsourcing, and the fourth-class secretary reviews the manuscript.

14. To get a wife, you should marry Xiao Zhao, to make friends, you should marry Linghu Chong, as a man, it is best to marry Qiao Feng, and to hang out, you should marry Wei Xiaobao!

15. Open the beauty magazine There are many, there are many TV ads, there are many clichés when picking up a newspaper, there are many signatures when reading an article. Laughing at the messy jokes, she drank too much, I am marrying her on her behalf

Introduction: I heard that goddesses are aloof, but I still mustered up the courage. "Are you free on the weekend?" She said, "Go away." "Do you like Western food or Chinese food?" She said, "Go away. I can't bear it." The fucking company paid a million bonus, and I don't think I can spend the weekend alone. over! Why is no one willing to help me spend money? Damn it! "She said, "I'm sorry, they were all automatic replies just now..."

1. The groom was waiting anxiously for the bride in the auditorium. After a while, the girl in a wedding dress finally came in a hurry. The groom was stunned when he saw it. "Who are you?" Where is my bride? The girl said apologetically: "She drank too much. I am marrying her on her behalf." ”

2. Please stop talking about people with the surname Wang! My surname is Wang, and now all the buddies around me are guarding me like a thief! Now I feel like sleeping with my younger siblings and sisters-in-law It's like an affair!

3. The goddess invited me to play at her house, and I was so happy. We played until night, and I looked at her rosy face and fell asleep. Broken skin, red lips. Hahaha, I was about to achieve my goal. I wiped the saliva from the corner of my mouth, opened the door of her refrigerator and had a good meal.

4. Feiren. Liu Xiang posted on Weibo, the photo is of his girlfriend and the hurdle, and the caption is: She and it are my favorite! Netizen 1 commented: Cross it during the day, jump her at night! Netizen 2 commented: It’s the same 12 seconds 88... Damn it!!

5. Today I told my deskmate that dogs can distinguish 500 different smells.

Then she thought thoughtfully for a while, then turned to me and asked: Then why does it still eat shit? Damn, I'm speechless!

6. My wife lay quietly in my arms and asked: What shortcomings do I have after being married for more than a year? I said sincerely: The only thing is that I have a little bad temper... "What! You tell me where my bad temper is?"

7. I was taking a nap at noon, and I vaguely felt that my five-year-old son was giving me Covering the quilt, just when I was particularly moved, I saw my son covering the quilt from beginning to end and whispering: "Rest in peace!"

8. In the past, what we knew about robbery was "This is my way." I planted this tree, I want to pass by and leave money to buy it!” Now times have changed: there is a toll station 500 meters ahead, please slow down!

9. It was my first time to attend a parent-teacher meeting today, and I was a little nervous. All the other parents were chatting, and I was the only one sitting silently. After a while, an older brother next to me couldn't help but ask me: "Teacher Wang, you asked us to come to the meeting, why don't you go up and say a few words?"

10. I am relatively introverted, shy, and usually peaceful. I blush when a girl says something. On a blind date, I sat down with my head down and didn't dare to speak. The girl looked at me and asked, "How old are you?" I blushed as soon as I brushed my face. When the girl saw that I was blushing, she blushed too, and then she stood up and scolded me. "Rogue!" He turned and left.

11. Aunt Li, a retired worker, takes a bus and someone gives up her seat when she gets on the bus. She sat down, stood up again, and gave her seat to a child. Someone immediately gave up his seat, and the aunt did not hesitate to let an old man who was older than herself sit. Everyone looked at him with admiration and gave up their seats one after another. The aunt said that it was not easy to be an office worker, so she pushed two tired young people, a man and a woman, into their seats, and finally sat down peacefully. In this way, Aunt Li's family of five found seats.

12. I accidentally saw condoms in my 17-year-old son’s wallet today. I said, “Come here, you bastard! Why do you still have condoms in your wallet?” My son said nonchalantly. : "Oh, I won't take it with me anymore." I was stunned for a moment and then "How dare you!"

13. One day, Lao Wang passed by a bridge on his motorcycle and saw a beggar under the bridge holding a brick on the bridge. He picked it out and stuffed money into it. The next day, I passed by again and the beggar dug out bricks and stuffed them with money. I thought this must be where the beggar hid his money. I got off the motorcycle and went under the bridge to find a brick. I dug it out and saw a note with ten yuan attached, "I'll leave you ten yuan to take a taxi. I'll ride the motorcycle away." I looked up and saw a beggar riding a motorcycle. Son... left in a flash.

14. I heard two diaosi chatting on the bus today, saying that even if you buy a 4.7-inch iPhone 6, you are still a diaosi in the eyes of some people, because you have been tacitly said that you cannot afford a 5.5-inch one. iphone6.

15. On the audition stage, the contestant did 10 backflips in a row. The judges quickly stopped him: This is a music competition, not a martial arts competition. Why are you doing so many somersaults? The contestant said: Uh...because, I am singing a cover.

16. When someone says "you are such a good mother" to you, how do you respond tactfully? "Hello, son."

17. Go to the drugstore to buy cold medicine today. A girl came and said, "Does the boss have regret medicine?" The boss said, "Yes, there is one that costs 10 yuan and 25 yuan. What kind of medicine do you want?" She said, "It's a one-time solution for 25 yuan." The girl bought it. After getting the medicine, I left. I couldn't help but ask the boss: "What is the regret medicine?" The boss said: "Contraceptive pill!"

18. I found a new job and I was very happy to meet my friends. Circle announcement: I found a new job today, come on! Then early the next morning, a friend replied to me and said: Be careful when working at the gas station!

19. I was discussing Wang Quanan's prostitution with my girlfriend just now. I said: "In this world, good women always get screwed." My girlfriend asked back: "Am I a good woman?" I didn't know. True to words...

20. There was a pony about to cross the river. The old buffalo saw it and said to him: "Don't be afraid, the water is very shallow, only reaching my knees." The little squirrel ran over immediately Shouted: "Don't believe him! The water is very deep, and my friend drowned." Xiao Ma didn't know who to listen to. Mother Ma next to him told him: "Child, ignore those two lunatics, let's walk on the bridge .

"

21. My brother is five years younger than me. The strange thing is that he only eats duck meat. No matter how hard he is forced to eat chicken, he will not eat it. When he was seven or eight years old, my mother asked him: "Why do you only eat chicken? Eat duck but not chicken? My brother said, "The chicken hasn't been bathed all day long. It's so dirty that I won't eat it." Ducks live in water and take baths every day! "

22. When I was pregnant, I was joking with my husband one time, so I nudged him in the belly with my belly. Then the guy got anxious and said, "Have you ever seen hens fighting with eggs? " Me:...

23. Today, lz accidentally bumped into a red M6 while driving. The owner of the other car was a little girl and jumped out with her mobile phone. I quickly stepped forward to apologize. She kept rolling her eyes at me, then handed me her phone and asked me to take a cute photo of her. She also had to write that there was a small car accident today and she felt cute. After that, she drove away... stay The host was in a mess for several minutes!

24. I had a fight with my daughter yesterday, and she slammed the door and left when she got angry, and she hasn’t come home until today. I think of the recent disappearance of many girls. I was quite worried about her. My wife comforted me and said, “Don’t worry, I just sent out a missing person notice and she will be back soon. "While talking, I saw my daughter pushing open the door angrily, holding a piece of paper in her hand: "Mom, what do you mean? How can I weigh 110 pounds! I obviously only have 98, okay! "

25. The recruitment work is over and the soldiers are sent off today. Everyone hugged each other and cried. The scene was filled with tears. A young man said to his father with tears in his eyes: "Dad, you guys Take care of yourself and don't worry about me. Also, I borrowed two thousand yuan from my neighbor a few days ago. You must remember to pay it back for me. "His father was stunned for a moment and yelled: "You idiot, get out of here and pay it back when you come back."

26. A new employee came to the company today. During lunch, I said to the team leader: "Today's new employee is a new employee." What a setback, there’s only one word wrong with your name! I asked him to treat us to dinner after get off work today! The team leader said with a black face: That’s my cousin!

27. I have a 3-year-old daughter. The child has gone to bed at 9 o'clock in the evening. My daughter-in-law is sitting on the bed with a facial mask on. I am playing games. When my daughter wakes up, my daughter-in-law lowers her head to comfort her. My daughter suddenly screams and slaps my daughter-in-law on the face. Crying: Dad, there is a ghost...

28. My wife is a second-rate person. When I went to wash my hair, she went first, and I bought cigarettes and then went in. After I went in, she started washing. As soon as I lay down, my second-rate wife said, “Handsome guy, come and wash your hair too! " "kindness. "I forgot my money. Please give it to me. I'll follow you later." "I didn't say anything. My wife sat next to me and waited for me after washing. After I finished, we gave the money together. Then my wife took me and left, leaving everyone in the barber shop petrified.

29. Yesterday, I rewatched "The Eight Parts of the Dragon". If you want to ask who is the most powerful among them, you would say Qiao Feng, Xu Zhu, or the sweeping monk. I think it is Duan Zhengchun, who played with 5 women, and 5 women still... I love him with all my heart, he is an absolute idol!

30. Just now! When I picked up the package, the courier guy couldn’t find my package for a long time because it was a small package, so he turned around and asked me. : "What are you? "I paused for 3 seconds and said: "I am a human being..."

Editor's Note: Recently, Mr. Bao received a very difficult case. The reporter said that he always saw people walking at night. A headless monster was wandering around the street. It was very scary. Bao Gong thought for a moment and said, "I often patrol the streets at night. How come I haven't seen it before?" " Quotes that make me laugh so hard

Intro: "Husband, I want to take underwater wedding photos. Look at how beautiful this photo is." "Yeah. Her figure looks like a mermaid when photographed, but when you photograph it, she looks like a fat-headed fish! "..."

1. Many people said to me that you are so poor and can't afford crazy love but still pay so much attention to it. Numb, this is simply bullshit. I don't pay attention to this when I sell mobile phone cases. What am I paying attention to!

2. Princess Snow White has been in poor health since her marriage. The prince took her to the hospital for examination and found that the princess only had one kidney left! The prince asked her why. The princess replied: "I was in the forest. When I was living in seclusion, one day, a witch knocked on the door and asked me, "My child, do you want an apple?" ”

3. This morning, my friend asked me to go out to play. When I went out, I wanted to tell my mother that I was going out with my friends, but I accidentally said that I was going out with my girlfriend.

My mother turned around and smiled softly and said, "Are you kidding me?" Then she turned around and continued chopping vegetables. I despaired of this malicious world.

4. I will not buy this Apple watch. If I don’t take out the mobile phone I spent so much money to buy to see the time, wouldn’t it be in vain?

5. I was in the same class with my younger brother when I was in high school. One night, Teacher Xiu asked us: "Which of you is the younger brother and who is the older sister?" I was stunned at that time!

6. Experience in giving shoes to boys: As long as you seduce the shopping guide lady more when buying clothes, your girlfriend will finish buying clothes in a while.

7. A beggar asked the master: "Master, why am I so pitiful? Do I have to beg like this all my life?" The master took out a coin, threw it into the air, and landed in front of the beggar. "Master, are you saying that life is like a coin, with pros and cons?" Master: "Take this dollar, and I'll slap you if you don't want to."

8. Want to have sex with your wife I have been trying to have a baby for 3 years without success. Today I went to the Earth Temple to ask for fortune telling and when I could get pregnant. The old man said a lot of classical Chinese that I couldn’t understand. I only heard the last sentence: I have a noble person to help me...!

9. Fortune tellers have completely evolved! Just now I was walking on the road while playing with my mobile phone, and a fortune teller shouted to me: "Young man! Come here! I think your signal is not very good recently! Let me test the nearby Wifi password for you!"

10. Son: "Mom, can you give me a few hundred dollars? I want to sing with my friends tonight." Mom: "Don't go to those places when you are so young. Why are you singing like a kid! Why are you singing?" Yes, you are so old, go and wash your clothes!"

11. I went to eat wontons today. While I was eating, I saw the boss lady beating my son with a feather duster, so I advised him: " Educate your son verbally and not with domestic violence, as this will cause harm to his young mind." The boss lady looked at me and stopped. I asked the child: "Why did you offend your mother?" The child said innocently: "I just peed in the pot." "What? Peed in the pot? Just paid it forward? Boss lady, Are you tired? Take a break and let me come!"

12. A friend was taking a train. There were so many people checking in at the station, so he took his ID card and tickets and got on the train to settle down. After that, my friend took out the train ticket to check and found that the ticket had not been clipped. I was about to feel happy. Damn it, why is my ID card missing a corner?

13. My husband likes to drink, and he also likes to invite friends to drink at home. That day I found a bottle of wine in my daughter’s room. Thinking of my daughter’s unhappy expression when my husband was drinking with his cousin the night before, I asked my daughter, “Did you take away your dad’s wine last night?” "You didn't see that he was already drunk and still wanted to drink, so I confiscated their wine." Speaking of this, my daughter became angry. "Did he quarrel with you?" My daughter rolled her eyes at me: "Think about it, if you took away the bone that the dog was chewing, would the dog be less anxious?"

14. Xiao Ming: "Dad, the light bulb in your bedroom is always broken, don't you know how to change it yourself?" Dad: "Yes, what's wrong? The light is not broken." Xiao Ming: "Then why does your mother ask me to find it as soon as you go to work the night shift?" Uncle Wang next door came to change the light bulb, and he changed it very slowly. It took more than an hour to change it." Dad: "Maybe your Uncle Wang doesn't understand electricity." Xiao Ming: "I mean, mom is always getting electric shock. "

15. When I went to KTV with my friends, my friend insisted on asking a few girls to sing with me. The waiter called me into the box and said, "Sir, which ones do you want to stay?" Me: "Those who know how to drink, step forward!" Pa Pa walked forward several times. Me: "Go out if you know how to drink. The wine I bought is not enough for you to drink!"

16. When school was over, Xiao Ming asked the teacher: "Why is there a holiday on Children's Day but not on Teacher's Day?" The teacher While walking with the gift box in both hands, he said: "Because you are still young."

17. A Japanese customer came to the work. He was very polite during the meal. He clinked glasses and drank. After eating, he went to the factory to look at the equipment. I don't know. Which brother opened the cover of the manhole, and the little devil disappeared with a sound as soon as he got off the car. The boss of the unit said: "Damn it, he's still a ninja.

”

18. When sleeping, I often feel that there is a pair of eyes staring at me outside the window. I am timid and will cover my head with clothes every time, but even if I block my sight, I can’t block the sound coming from my ears. The penetrating voice came—— "What are you doing?" "My head teacher asked.

19. A: What is the most touching thing in your life? B: I was robbed once. A: What's so touching? B: He robbed I gave him 50, and he got back my 30. A:...

20. I was on the bus today and saw a guy next to me with a cast on his foot. , four or five old men came up, and I was about to give up my seat. Unexpectedly, the guy who was wearing plaster suddenly stood up and said, "Sir, please sit down and don't hit me." "My legs instantly felt like they were shaking.

21. I came home from drinking in the middle of the night. When I entered the room and saw my wife and Lao Wang next door on my bed, I became furious. I grabbed the two dogs and the man and the woman and beat them up. After the beating, I woke up a little and looked around. Damn it, I entered the wrong door. I quickly apologized to Lao Wang and his wife, saying that I got drunk and entered the wrong house. He grabbed me by the collar and said: I understand that you entered the wrong door. , but you don’t have a wife, do you know?

22. My mother pulled my sister and me and said, "When I was young, I hoped that you two would grow up quickly and become upright men like my father. A woman as tender and tender as a mother. Unexpectedly, your dream has come true now. One of you has become a tomboy, and the other has become a sissy. ”

23. I once liked a girl who was studying medicine, and I went to class with her. I didn’t know whether the teacher had a seizure or something that day, so he started to talk about how to give medicine to cause the husband to die suddenly for unknown reasons. I took it for half a year. Method, 1 year of eating, 10 years of eating. Seeing her bright eyes taking notes seriously, I made up my mind to be friends with her.

24. In order to pretend to be rich, I bought a pair. I went to the canteen to eat with silver chopsticks, but unexpectedly, when I picked up the dishes, the chopsticks turned black!

25. Today, my friend and I went to the 4S store to look at cars. I took a fancy to this car. Very good, I asked how good it was, and the salesman said: "If no girl jumps on this car after driving for 500 meters, then you should think about your appearance! ”

26. My mother often picks up the food that accidentally fell on the ground and secretly puts it in my dad’s bowl. There are also some foods that she is not sure whether they have spoiled. After cooking them, she tells me not to eat them first. Eat it. You can eat it after my dad eats it and there are no problems. I think it’s not easy for my dad to survive until now...

27. Send a text message to the male god to confess: "Although I am better than him." How many years older are you, but I want to date you. Unexpectedly, he replied instantly: "Actually, I, Ye Ting, want to date you." "Haha, he must have been so excited that he made a typo. Then he replied again: "Sorry, there was a typo. I will check it before sending it to you. "After a while, he texted again: "Actually, my father really wants to date you. "

28. I took my own temperature today, and it was 39°7. I ran to the health room to find a hygienist to get medicine, and knocked on the door. Hygienist: "What are you doing? Me: "I have a fever. Get some antipyretic medicine." Hygienist: "Don't be ridiculous. I can't do anything below 40 degrees. I can't do anything above 40 degrees. Just do whatever you have to do!" "Boy, come out, I promise I won't beat you to death!

29. My husband's and my birthdays are only one day apart. Tomorrow is his birthday. I asked him: "How do you plan to celebrate your birthday tomorrow? "How to save money how to live" "It's my birthday the day after tomorrow." How's it going? "How can I live a happy life?" I asked happily, "How can I live a happy life?" "I'm happy when I save money." "

30. One day when Lao Wang was taking a bus, a pregnant woman got on the bus and found that there was no seat. She said to Lao Wang who was sitting beside him: "Didn't you see that I am pregnant? Lao Wang looked at the pregnant woman in surprise and said, "Were we neighbors before?" "

Editor's Note: I didn't have much feeling about the "patriotic" movement at first, but last night I was really touched by the passion of a group of aunties in Drum Tower Square and couldn't help but participate. They shouted "Recover" ! ", I shouted "Diaoyu Islands! "They shouted "Recover" again, and I shouted "Diaoyu Islands!" ” They then shouted “Butt lift!” ", I had no choice but to leave.