Text/Qiqi Yatou

January 12, 2019? Sunny? Saturday

When I entered the date, I realized that it was entered out of habit again. 2018.

Think about the goals you set a few days ago and plan to complete them one by one.

I have been taking Kao Chong’s classes recently and haven’t practiced much myself.

As for books, I read them recommended by an author I like very much. I read slowly and read whatever comes to my mind. I don’t have any purpose now.

When I see good content, I plan to write it down. I am used to writing by hand and reading paper books.

But I’m currently doing an internship, so it’s hard to carry around shopping, and I have a lot of fragmented time, so I just read e-books.

I was reading on WeChat and had time to copy notes, but it was inconvenient to take them with me, so I thought of recording them here.

I feel like I have a bit of social phobia. I like to stay alone and read a book, but I don’t really like to go to crowded places.

But people always have to step out of their comfort zone and overcome their own difficulties so that they can be alone and make more like-minded friends.

So I hope to share with you what I gained from this book.

The preceding content is handwritten.

The following is an excerpt of the second half!

I have always been used to making many new friends and introducing friends I have never met before to get to know each other. Once these good friends start interacting with each other, some of them will become close friends.

Because you continue to share and expand your circle of friends, you will gradually gain influence. With these connections, others will begin to respect you.

The best way is to find a common connection between you as soon as possible. This common connection can be a person, a place, or some kind of common connection. A hobby, or even a certain book.

If you want to go one step further and maintain a friendship with someone you have already deeply impressed, the first and most important thing is that you need to know what the other person may like or like to do.

People need to help each other, especially when you have these resources, you need to know how to release them. Young people may not have these resources, so they can only do what they like.

Some friends need to be maintained for a long time. Just because you feel you are familiar with them doesn't mean you don't cherish them. Friendship cannot be maintained by loving the new and hating the old.

I think that no matter what your status is, it is best for friends to have an equal relationship. An equal relationship will last longer.

Only when two people with equal status and independent personalities grow up together, will their relationship become better.

Equality is important. If both parties are not equal, it will be difficult for the relationship to last for a long time. In other words, if you wrong yourself and fail to show your true side, you will not be able to maintain a long-term friendship.

While rejecting, give the other person another choice. This way of communication will not offend the other person, and others will feel more comfortable when getting along with you.

When interacting with these seniors who are different from your own identity or age, the first thing to do is to be lovable, which is to make these people like you.

Second, don’t be too impatient. Some things are difficult to force.

If you are just not meant for each other, then give up. Today's young people are more eager for quick success and quick success. When they see anyone who is powerful, they want to get involved with him or even ask him to help. But all the initiative lies in the hands of others, not in your hands. If you are too hasty, it will be very offensive.

There is another "hidden rule" when making friends with someone who has a higher status and better ability than yourself: success or failure depends entirely on the other person, and you have no initiative. Because you have nothing to give others, they feel they must make you their friend.

You must have the proper sense of proportion. I'm not easy to dislike, just because I always remember how to behave.

I think whether you are dealing with people you are familiar with or unfamiliar with, using positive words as much as possible is always the best way to communicate.

Honesty is the key to "warm communication".

In fact, each of us has advantages. The more you praise the other person, the better the other person will do, even covering up his original shortcomings. If you want to find fault, who doesn’t? Everyone is imperfect and has faults to blame, but why bother making others unhappy and yourself unhappy?

Everyone has different values, and a truly wise man should be inclusive. Requiring everyone's words and deeds to conform to their own value orientation is nonsense in itself. A tolerant attitude is the prerequisite for maintaining good communication with others, and seeking common ground while reserving differences is also an important principle for handling conflicts.

Through listening, speaking, reading, writing, and even understanding the history and geography of other regions, it is very helpful to improve communication skills.

Learning to speak and express is important for workplace and daily communication.

Before learning English, it is important to speak Mandarin well.

In addition, listen to the radio often.

I listen to you attentively and ask questions from time to time. This is the most effective way of communication.

The ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle was also a well-known communication expert. He said that communication has three key points: the first is emotion, the second is logic, and the third is personality.

People who are good at communication are not necessarily good talkers, but they are all good at listening and asking questions. Asking questions in a timely manner and listening and communicating effectively are the prerequisites for good interpersonal relationships.

In fact, we often make this mistake. It is easy to judge or even criticize things that we do not understand or only see the appearance. In fact, if others are not violating the law or discipline, we should just keep our mouths shut and take care of ourselves.

Many times, what hurts others is not fists and kicks, but spittle and harsh words.

Therefore, we must stay calm when encountering problems. Whether it is surprise or anger, we must first stabilize our emotions, speak slower, and give ourselves and the other party more time to think. .

There are some differences between people, so when you encounter difficult problems, you must first find out what your common goals are.

Don’t lie, because lies will inevitably be exposed one day. Excuses found unintentionally may be exposed at some point.

Many people are embarrassed to reject others, for fear of hurting the other person's self-esteem and the relationship between two people, but saying this just gives them some unrealistic hopes: "Let me see Well, I'll try my best to go." But in the end, I couldn't do it, so I might as well tell the other party directly, "I can't come."

So I think people have great potential. You told me today that you can't run 10 kilometers. In fact, as long as you continue to practice, you will reach your goal soon.

No matter what you do, don’t assume you can’t do it first.

When we encounter many things, we will first think of some reasons why we can't do it, but in fact we shouldn't think like this. Have a can do spirit and think about what challenges I should overcome if I want to do this. You will find that your whole thinking will be different, and all your choices will change as a result.

In workplace communication, everything needs to be thought about instead of telling the status quo, because telling the status quo directly shows that you have no vision, cannot independently think about problems and analyze the pros and cons, and cannot make suggestions that are beneficial to future development.

People who have no long-term worries must worry about the near future. As the saying goes, "it takes ten years to sharpen a sword." Therefore, we must be prepared for various challenges in the future.

If I am not sure whether the other person can help me, I will not go to him. When I ask, I must make sure that the other person is capable of assisting me. Moreover, even if someone doesn't help me, I will take it for granted and will not stop interacting with you just because you don't help me.

If someone wants to find someone who is much more capable than himself to help him do something that he cannot solve himself, but he doesn’t know any good way to find such a person, he will You should recognize that you are not strong enough and don’t expect others to do it for you. If someone really does it for you, it is a favor and should be kept in mind. If someone does not help you, it is natural. It's my duty to help you, but it's my duty not to help you.

If I want to ask someone for help, I will also have a grateful attitude: it is right if he does not agree, but if he agrees, it will be a favor.

First, don’t always think about asking others for help; second, even if you ask others for help, you should know that it is a favor and not a duty; third, you must clearly tell the other person what you need. What does he do for you?

Whenever you encounter anything, first think about whether you can solve it yourself. You will find that only by constantly helping yourself will you become more and more independent and powerful.

Control your emotions and don't lose your temper. Because this will cause people around you to dislike you, and you will also be isolated over time. Therefore, losing your temper will not have a good effect, and others will only treat you worse and worse.

I have always believed that a person knows his power. Whether you are particularly enthusiastic or very reserved, if you maintain the same way of treating others for a long time, others will think that you are such a person and like you. you.

When we are young, we must know how to invest time and continuously improve our abilities and qualities in the process, so that we can live a more open life in the future.

So you have to cultivate yourself through both internal and external aspects, so that you have a solid foundation, cultivate your own strong aura, and reduce the probability of others deliberately making things difficult for you.

First, don’t gossip.

Second, we may know a lot of things about others, but there is no need to tell the third person.

There must be a reason why this happened today. Don’t worry, maybe you will know it later.

Therefore, we must control ourselves appropriately, control our expressions, and not express our anger at others. We must look for reasons from ourselves and learn from experiences and lessons.

People who like to guarantee that "there will be no problem finding me" will definitely have problems in the end. People who readily agree to a treat will end up without a wallet.

The first step to win the respect of others is to be trustworthy.

We are both human beings, who is superior to whom?

If it is really what you have done, you must learn to accept the reality. You are responsible for anything you do. You can make any decision, but you must be responsible for the results.

The more people you know and your horizons open, the better you can become. If you always judge things based on your own experience, you will not be able to grow.

Regarding negative energy, three points are very important.

The first point is that you must have good hardware conditions, that is, a healthy body.

The second point is to learn to deal with negative energy.

Procrastination is definitely not a good way to deal with negative problems. Your best option is to find a solution to the problem through rational thinking and judgment.

Furthermore, don’t have too high expectations for things, because the greater the expectations, the greater the disappointment, and the emotional fluctuations caused by disappointment can easily become the beginning of negative energy.

If a person does not take responsibility for himself every time he works hard, but blindly expects the best results for himself, then once the results are not as expected, he will inevitably blame others and feel that society is unfair to him.

But if the effort is to strive to be the best or even exceed the limit, rather than regarding the final gain or loss as the only goal, then no matter what the outcome, negative emotions will not affect you too much, because in the end You have already done the important thing of "doing your best".

When things in the world are unsatisfactory, all we can do is change our own mentality, change our way of thinking, accept the reality, and let the negative energy dissipate quickly.

The third point is that action is the key to facing and dealing with negative energy.

Jobs said: "Your time is limited, so don't live for others. Don't be limited by dogma, don't live in other people's ideas. Don't let other people's opinions influence your inner voice. The most important thing is The most important thing is to be brave enough to listen to your own heart and intuition. Only your own heart and intuition know your true thoughts, and everything else is secondary.”

The first detail starts from now on. Take good care of your body.

The second detail is to build yourself into a person of taste.

The third detail, pay attention to personal image and quality.

If you want to achieve something in your career, you must start with simple things and start with the subtleties. Life is made up of many insignificant things. Small things make big things happen, details make perfect.

The first benefit of reading is that it can improve our ability to express ourselves.

Many of the things we do will not be effective in a short period of time, but over time, it will be different whether there is accumulation.

The second benefit of reading is that when we read about other people’s experiences, we will discover a lot of things we don’t know. We will discover that the world is so colorful, and that everyone even thinks differently. It will stimulate us to think and even solve the problems we are facing.

If you always feel that you have no independent point of view, you can strengthen your thinking through reading. Write down something when you think of it, and slowly improve what you have written down. Over time, you will be able to Form your own opinions on many things.

No successful person does it easily. In other words, no one can achieve success easily.

When we look at others, we often think that everything is very simple. If you really do it, you will find that success is not guaranteed if you work hard. My experience tells me that although you may not succeed after working hard, you will never succeed if you don’t work hard.

Just looking from a distance, you can only see the achievements of others, but never see their dedication and hard work. This is called - you are really not familiar with them. Once you are really familiar with it, you will understand that nothing is easy in the world.

Everything must start from small things, accumulate bit by bit, and do the work at hand carefully, so as to reap the most real fruits of labor.

When we want to do something, the most important thing is action. Action is very important, sometimes don’t think so much, just do it first.

Life is like a journey. We need a sense of freshness and do something we have never done before to make our life experience fuller. What you need to pay attention to is not to think too grandly, have simple goals, and persist in taking action to achieve extraordinary results.

Young people should maintain their curiosity and at the same time pay attention to current social hot spots. Only in this way can you clearly understand what kind of social environment you are currently in.

So you must have curiosity. If you are curious, you will learn something new at any time and become a rich person.

When a person is timid and afraid of wolves and tigers, it is difficult to make wise judgments, because fear will cause us to lose our basic judgment.

When we don’t know what to do well, imitation is our shortcut to success.

Imitation, let us start to learn from our own role models in form, and then this imitation will slowly be internalized, allowing us to become the person we want to be.

Your origin does not determine your future. What your future will be depends on whether you are smart enough, hardworking enough, and capable of learning enough.

I hope to be on the same train with my friends for a little longer, but not forever. In this life, one must learn to rely on oneself.

A final message to everyone

I hope there will never be any strangers in our world.