As soon as children enter school, making friends becomes a concern of parents. Can children only be friends with classmates who are better than themselves? I think most parents will agree with this view, but is this view really completely correct?
It is true that "those who are close to ink are black, and those who are close to ink are black." Some people say that making friends with excellent people will make you better. If you stay with scum, you will be dragged down sooner or later. Others say that what kind of circle a person hangs out in will also determine what kind of person he becomes, so it is very important to say whether a person is excellent or not. And what kind of person he is, it is basically clear to see the circle he mixes. The so-called "birds of a feather flock together, people are divided into groups".
Similarly, it is better for children to make friends with top students. If you hang out with poor students every day, you will hang out with them sooner or later. So when students make friends, it will form an interesting phenomenon. Parents of poor students want their children to be friends with gifted students, and parents of gifted students naturally want their children to be friends with children who are better than him. However, gifted students are a minority after all, and most of them are middle or inferior students. Isn't it unbalanced to make friends?
"Mom, can I be friends with classmates who are worse at learning than me?" One day, my son came back and asked me seriously.
"Of course, although some students study almost, they certainly have their advantages. When we make friends with others, we should learn their advantages and correct our own shortcomings. " I blurted it out without thinking.
"But some parents don't let their children play with classmates who are worse than him. What's wrong? "
"Those parents' ideas can't be completely wrong. They want their children to be influenced by eugenics and become better. Besides, parents who play eugenics can rest assured. "
"Like the top five in the class, you can only play with a few classmates. If it is the first place, is he not good enough to have no friends? " The son quickly reasoned out a seemingly logical result.
"Oh, I never object to who you make friends with. Everyone has advantages, learn from each other and make progress together. But those gangsters in the class, you'd better stay away from them. "
"Is that a good student with good grades? But some students, who did well in this exam, may regress next time, or fail in the exam now, but they will make progress in the future. Can we say that he is going to be born soon? " The son raised a question.
"Yes, gifted students and poor students are relative. No one can guarantee that he will always be a gifted student, but we must strive to be top students. " I appreciate children's thinking.
"Mix likes playing with me very much. Although the grades are not very good, they are very kind. If he has anything to eat, he will give it to me and my classmates around him. Whoever bullies me will help me. " I can see that my son appreciates Mix.
"Good friends help each other and make progress together. Can you drive him to study together and make progress together? " I asked him.
"I'll try." Then, two weeks later, my son went to Xiao Xiao's house to stare at his homework, but he told me that he would rather play computer than do his homework. I was a little worried and asked, "Will he have a bad influence on you?"
"I'm sure I can't bring him well, and he can't bring me well." The son answered affirmatively. A child's friends can't seem to be measured by his academic performance. If you don't interfere with his making friends, he will have his own ideas and principles. Although his mind is still immature, as a parent, we can remind him and help him learn to choose friends instead of rigidly preventing him from interacting with anyone.
The original meaning of education is to explore people's potential and develop their personality, but now, education is becoming more and more utilitarian, and academic performance has become the main criterion to measure children's quality. Parents expect their children to succeed and their daughters to succeed, forcing their children to learn knowledge and opposing some necessary socialization, which has caused many children's social and psychological obstacles. This is a failure of education.
At different stages of a person's life, family, school, peers, working environment, etc. Will have an impact on human development. In childhood, due to the lack of basic survival ability, children's growth is mainly achieved by parents' preaching and demonstration; After entering school, the role of school in children's growth has gradually replaced the family, and the influence of peer groups has become increasingly obvious. However, Gardner, a professor of psychology at Harvard University, believes that individuals vary greatly, and there are several kinds of intelligence related to specific cognitive fields and knowledge fields in individuals. Therefore, it is absurd to judge children only by their academic performance. Whether a child has good behavior habits and moral quality foundation should be an important standard. In any case, it is very unwise for us not to let our children choose their friends.
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