In order to attract attention, children use toys as bribes

Sister Hua’s daughter Xiaomei is a complete beauty control. Xiaomei just entered the kindergarten class this year, and there is a girl in the class A very beautiful girl. Xiaomei is very happy every time she sees her and often likes to play with her.

But everyone likes the beautiful girl. The classmates in the class are always rushing to play with her. When playing games, everyone likes to be in a group with her. She is also the centerpiece during the class performance. Everyone has delicious food. Snacks and favorite toys will also be shared with her.

The beautiful girl is also friendly and always gets along well with everyone.

Xiaomei wanted to be friends with her so much, but she didn’t pay much attention to Xiaomei at all. Once, in an art class, a beautiful girl borrowed a paintbrush from Xiaomei. Xiaomei was so happy that she happily lent her the brush.

Later, when the beautiful girl returned the pen, Xiaomei waved her hand to show her generosity and said: "No need to return it. I have another set at home. Can this be used for you?" When the beautiful girl heard this, Gladly accepted.

After that, the pretty girl had more opportunities to play with Xiaomei. In order to continue this friendship, Xiaomei would give the girl some "small gifts" from time to time. The watercolors her mother bought for her Paints, dolls bought for her by her father, and even pocket money from her grandma will be given to her.

It has become a habit for girls to accept gifts, and they have never said no. But as time went by, the effect of the "gift" became worse and worse, and the girl spent less time playing with Xiaomei.

There is a new annoying male classmate in the class. I heard everyone said that his father is very rich. Everyone will gather around him after class, and beautiful girls also pay a lot of attention to him.

In order to attract the girl's attention again, Xiaomei decided to give the learning machine bought by her mother to the girl. Later, Sister Hua found out that Xiaomei had never used the learning machine again and asked her about it. Then she realized that it was given to a classmate.

Sister Hua asked her why she wanted to give away such valuable items. Xiaomei said? Only in this way will she play with me. ?Instead of relying on material things to maintain friendship, it is better to improve yourself

Sister Hua did not expect Xiaomei to have such an idea, because the children around her all play together, and Xiaomei has never been isolated. Why is this Is it necessary to make friends by giving away things for the first time? After getting to know her, Sister Hua realized that the girl was beautiful and popular in the class.

It seems that for both adults and children, the pursuit of beautiful things does have to pay some price. It's just that this situation is not normal for children to make friends.

For people or things that are hard to find, if you rely on external material support instead of relying on personal strength, nothing will last long.

The feelings between children are particularly pure. If you like it, just like it. If you don’t like it, don’t get involved. If you have to use gifts to please others, not only will you not get it, but it will easily make the child fall into a quagmire of low self-esteem.

People are the simplest and most complex. Just relying on the power emanating from the inside out such as personality, ability, and dealing with others is enough for people to appreciate each other.

Sister Hua told Xiaomei: Since you can’t fully gain this friendship even by giving gifts, why not try to improve yourself and make yourself better.

The world is still tolerant. People who are good-looking will be liked, and people who are cute will also be liked. If you just spend your energy chasing others, it would be better to invest time in yourself and make others like you.

Xiaomei still doesn’t understand these words at all. She just thinks that the way to gain friendship now is to give gifts, and she doesn’t think she will be liked by others.

Sister Hua said: Mom and dad both love you, don’t you think it’s enough? ?Xiaomei said, ?This is different, I just like good-looking people. ?Sister Hua felt that she and Xiaomei could not continue the conversation.

In fact, Xiaomei’s approach is a “pleasant personality”. If you don’t want your child to be like this in the future, parents must teach you the following things. It will be difficult to make up for it later. Ways to let children know the truth

1. Tell children that giving gifts will not lead to friendship

Children are always protected by their parents and do not understand how things come about. Not easy. A watercolor pen is nothing, and a notebook is nothing. If these can be exchanged for something they like, the child is willing to do the exchange.

Parents should not just scold their children when they see them always taking things from home. This will not have any other positive effects except making the children feel that their parents are stingy.

To stop children from giving gifts, you must first let them understand the meaning of gifts. You can ask them this way: Do you like your pen and notebook? If you like it, why give it away so easily? ? If you don't like it, how can you exchange it for others' sincere love with something you don't care about at all? ?.

In short, parents should teach their children by words and deeds. Friendship must be obtained through personal ability. Only the affection you give and the attitude you treat others will earn others to treat you seriously.

Parents can also tell their children their friendship stories, invite good friends to play with their children, and let them feel the friendship between adults. Children have strong perceptive abilities and can naturally understand True friendship.

2. Tell children how to obtain true friendship

In the TV series "Reply 1988", the relationship between children should be a model of friendship. Whether you are getting along with people of the opposite sex or the same sex, as long as you treat each other sincerely, you can consolidate the relationship between each other.

Aze in the drama should be regarded as the most beautiful existence. How do you get along with him? Although in the eyes of outsiders, he is a Go genius, to the young people who grew up with him, he is just an ordinary person.

He can solve the Rubik's Cube in a short time, but he can't even open the yogurt lid. Deshan doesn't know how to use the Rubik's Cube, but she can easily open the yogurt lid.

Friendship can be complementary. No one dislikes each other because they are good at different fields. There is no question of who is good and who is incompetent. Only by treating each other as equals can we maintain true friendship.

In addition, when a friend encounters difficulties, it is easier for others to feel grateful if they can provide timely relief. Respecting everyone's choice is also a very important principle in dealing with others.

3. What should we tell our children? The feeling of comfort?

Is something that requires a lot of effort to get really worth pursuing? Everyone can follow what they like. For example, adults will do plastic surgery at all costs to be beautiful. Some people are very happy after plastic surgery, but some people are not.

Why don’t people feel happy? They may feel that only by becoming good-looking can they be liked by others. But the fact is that sometimes plastic surgery may not give you these things, so some people spend a huge price, which not only makes them uncomfortable, but also only makes them regretful.

The same is true for friendship. If you need to be very reluctant to get the attention of others, then you have to consider whether the effort is worth it.

In this case, you need to change yourself to get out of the predicament. As a human being, the most important thing is to be happy. If a relationship will only make you small and humble, but cannot bring you any true feelings, it is definitely not worth investing too much in.

At this time, you can try to make other friends and experience the feeling of comfort and relaxation. Only when you can truly feel feedback from others will it be worth further efforts.

Don’t let your children become materialistic. Even adults now hate the behavior of giving gifts and other things to please others. Striving to improve and improve yourself is an important foundation for making good friends.

People must learn to give and be kind to themselves. Only by achieving a balance between the two can happiness be achieved in this world.