1, relax. Relaxation has special skills, and there are some methods that we usually use without special study, such as running, swimming and skipping rope. Or take a hot bath or sauna. These methods are very effective. Specialized relaxation techniques are slightly more complicated, and there are mainly two kinds, one is self-hypnosis and the other is gradual deep muscle relaxation techniques. Because it is difficult to give specific guidance on the phone, if you want to learn, you can ask a psychologist at Shanghai Psychological Counseling Center for help. In addition, there are many books in this field now, so you can buy some references.
2. Increase attraction and self-intention. You also need to increase your social appeal and improve your self-intention. Simply put, it is a person's imagination of his own image, or his own judgment of his own image. People with good self-intention will appear confident and self-satisfied, while people with poor self-intention will appear overly sensitive and shy.
Our self-intention is largely formed by comparing with others. Therefore, what matters is whether you choose the right object for comparison. If a woman is compared with a beautiful female star, she feels that her image is poor. To overcome shyness or social anxiety, we must improve our self-intention.
First of all, it is important to start looking at yourself positively. You can list your strengths and then set some realistic goals that can reflect your strengths. You can set your goals lower at first, then gradually accumulate them and set bigger and more important goals. In addition, stop negative comments on yourself, such as "I am an idiot" and "I am really useless". When these thoughts appear, immediately say to yourself, "Don't think so." Although shyness or social anxiety reflects that you have problems getting along with others, your whole self-intention will be affected. This is because you focus all your attention on this problem and ignore your other strengths and personality as a whole. When you evaluate yourself, try to take other aspects of your personality into account, emphasize the positive side and ignore the negative side, so that your good self-intention will be cultivated. Some ways to improve your self-intention quickly are to increase your social attraction.
Of course we can't be like movie stars, but there are still many ways to do it. For example, we can have a nice hairstyle and wear some clothes that feel good about ourselves. It is also helpful to listen to your friends' opinions on your dress. This is the beginning of making a good impression. But social attraction depends on more than appearance. The increase of social attraction also needs to be cultivated by participating in various social activities.
Of course, this needs to be cultivated slowly. At the beginning, you can go to your familiar place and let your friends accompany you. Then try to go to other places you are interested in and gradually expand the scope of activities. Here are some skills you can master. For example, before you meet other people, you can prepare some conversations. If you are prepared in advance, you won't be so nervous.
It depends on the specific situation of the occasion you attend. If it is an ordinary party, you can read some bestsellers and pay attention to the recent news and sports events. It would be better if you could tell some stories or humorous jokes in social situations. In this way, you can get positive feedback, be encouraged, and enhance your self-confidence bit by bit.
Secondly, there are certain rules to follow in cultivating conversational ability. Or ask something that everyone knows or has experienced, or ask others questions, or supplement or agree with others' views. I recommend some methods that you can try to practice.
There are many hotline programs on the radio now. You can call the host and ask one or more questions. Moreover, when waiting in line, try to talk to strangers next to you, or talk to people sitting next to you before going to the movies, meetings, etc. It will certainly help you to practice more.
Third, properly publicize yourself and trust others. In the process of interacting with others, it is very important to expose yourself and trust others. Many people hide their thoughts, feelings, fears and hopes. They are afraid of being laughed at or rejected by others after saying these words. They think it's safer to hide it in their hearts, but the price is too high, because they have become unreal. Imagine that if others don't know who you are, what you are thinking, what your inner feelings are, and what your expectations are, then others have no chance to communicate with you, let alone establish a close relationship. If others want to like us and love us, we must let others know about us.
Because communication is mutual, when you open your heart to others, it shows that you trust them and encourage them to open their hearts to you. It is true that opening your heart to others is easy to get hurt, but it is also easier to win love.
Fourth, to associate with all kinds of people, to increase social appeal, you should also associate with different types of people. Try to introduce yourself to some new people often and enter different social occasions, which will expand your social contacts. Over time, you will be good at communication.
Wish you success!