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Douban 8. "Hot Love" explores how inferiority complex moves towards self-confidence.
Text/Maggie

Charles Dickens once said: "The virtues of mothers, like the sins of fathers, will be reflected in their children."

"Hot Love" tells that Shuang Ye, the foster mother, suddenly fainted and was taken to the hospital, where she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. When she couldn't accept the fact that she was sick for a while, she was sad and miserable when she hid alone. In the year since her husband cheated on her, Shuang Ye never thought about getting her husband back. Because of cancer, she had to live better for her daughter. What she could do was to get her husband back and plan their lives again.

when I first started watching movies, I was wondering why I should make the role of An Cheng feel so inferior. I didn't understand the meaning of the film until I finished watching it. In this hot love, the daughter is loved by the foster mother like a hot pot and forced to grow up. The foster mother in the film, like the epitome of the mother in most people's lives, teaches the child how to face everything that happens in life.

The word "inferiority complex" has always been regarded as humble, but some people may feel inferior all their lives, and others will turn inferiority complex into self-confidence. Just like in the film, An Cheng goes through the process of her adoptive mother suffering from cancer, from a child with inferiority complex to a person as confident as her adoptive mother.

This film presents the problem of raising children in contemporary society, reflecting the current marriage situation of young people and the problems faced in raising the next generation. But in any case, we should establish a correct concept of marriage, and a good marriage relationship has a great connection with raising children.

So I will interpret this film from the role of An Cheng. What is closely related to us in her, and what significance does it bring to our lives?

① Sense of inferiority, which makes An Cheng afraid to get along with others

All the children in the world are taught by family of origin. At home, we all behave relaxed, but in the face of strange environment, we behave inferiority, fear and sensitivity. An Cheng in Hot Love is such a person, who behaves normally at home and feels inferior at school. Classmates sneered at her and threw paint on her, so she didn't even dare to say anything about her closest foster mother or even go to school.

Children's inferiority complex is more or less due to their mother's "hot" love for her, and sometimes it is too strict, but it will backfire. The book Inferiority and Transcendence points out that everyone has a sense of inferiority, but some people don't show it. However, some people's inferiority is directly written on their faces, which is inseparable from her family education. Family of origin tells us that every child who has been hurt is unconsciously hurt by his parents at home.

once, an cheng's school uniform was taken away by her classmates. she didn't have a school uniform to wear to school. she chose to hide under the covers and didn't want to go to school for fear of being laughed at by her classmates. It was her mother who forced her to go to school and told her to solve the problem in her own way.

Yu Minhong put forward in the book "Inferiority is Worse than Arrogance": "Because of inferiority, you will be afraid of failure. You are afraid of other people's eyes. You will feel that people around you are looking at you with sarcastic, shocking and insulting eyes, so you dare not do it, so you belittle yourself with a factor that should not have belittled yourself. When you lose courage, all the doors in this world are closed."

As Yu Minhong said, An Cheng felt extremely inferior in her heart, so she chose extreme treatment. In class, she took off her sportswear and told her bullies only in underwear, returned her school uniform and vomited all over the floor. Although she got her school uniform back in this way, her inner inferiority complex penetrated deeply into her bones.

In my opinion, An Cheng's inner inferiority comes from her adoptive mother's expectation, and her fear of getting along with her classmates is also related to family education. The adoptive mother clearly knows that someone bullied An Cheng at school, but she never taught her children how to solve problems. This inferiority is just learned from her adoptive mother. If the adoptive mother finds out that her father is cheating and leaving, she will go to look for it immediately. That is a normal performance, but she only wants to find her husband when she knows that she has cancer. Isn't this a sign of inferiority?

(2) An Cheng is a compromise to the two-faced foster mother after all.

The foster mother hopes An Cheng can be a strong person in her own way, just like her, facing any difficulties without fear and bravely moving forward. I remember Zhang Ailing once said: "Mothers have a common problem. In this life, they are desperately trying to give the children what they think is good, give it to you, and give it to you. Love is at a loss."

The adoptive mother loves her daughter very much, but at the same time, she hopes her child can learn to face difficulties independently, and her heart is full of some contradictions. This is also the epitome of most mothers in the world. They love their children but are afraid of spoiling them. Therefore, they often show the image of a two-faced mother. Different situations will show different attitudes, which will make children love and fear their mothers.

in my opinion, when faced with a two-faced foster mother, An Cheng seems to have no choice but to compromise. Although she was extremely afraid of going to school, she had a fight with her foster mother for it, and finally she went to school. In fact, on the way of raising children, I also show the appearance of a two-faced mother, who loves and hates children. In fact, sometimes I have to be more patient with children, so that children can reduce criticism from adults and praise them more, which will also reduce their sense of inferiority.

① The adoptive mother found her father and brought back a younger sister. An Cheng complained more about her father.

An Cheng complained about why his father had never come home once and never looked for her after leaving for a year. The foster mother lived a hard life with her for this reason, and her body lost a lot.

And I brought back my sister who came from nowhere. She looked her up and down, and then she went to the toilet in the middle of her meal, in order not to see them. In the face of all this sudden, she can only choose to accept it silently. For her, her father is like an absentee. On the way to education, only her foster mother is accompanied. Her father is just a name for her.

In my opinion, as the book Unconditional Parenting points out, "Parents should love their children unconditionally when raising them. No matter what kind of person they are, they should try their best to teach their children well." Not like the father in the film, because of his own fault, he didn't even go home, let alone raise a child. For An Cheng, his father is undoubtedly absent on the way to raising children.

② Face her biological mother and communicate with her in sign language

When An Cheng was told by Shuang Ye that she was not her own daughter, she was a child born in Junjiang at the age of 15, so she chose to leave because she could not hear or speak. Junjiang saw her daughter communicate with her in sign language, and couldn't help but burst into tears. It turned out that her daughter was well educated by Shuang Ye and was particularly sensible.

In "Three Movements to Meng Mu", the mother moved three times for the sake of her children. In the film, Junjiang knew her own problems, so she entrusted her children to her ex-husband and Shuang Ye to raise them. Although what she did may be right, this irresponsible behavior is unfair to her daughter. An Chenggang, a biological mother who has never raised herself, was unwilling to accept it at first.

Fortunately, An Cheng is a kind-hearted child. She did not blame her biological mother for abandoning her, but chose to forgive her. Fortunately, An Cheng met Shuang Ye's mother, who showed kindness under severe circumstances, and loved her children from the bottom of her heart, teaching them to face problems bravely.

I think whether it is a biological mother or an adoptive mother, it is a happy thing for An Cheng. Both mothers love her in different ways.

In my opinion, as the book "Cultivating Children with High Emotional Intelligence" says, "The problems that children have are all influenced by their parents." If the parents are the original price and the children are the copies, An Cheng's inferiority complex in school before all stems from the insecurity brought by her parents. In the year after her father left, she became sensitive, fragile and inferior.

① For her adoptive mother who was seriously ill, An Cheng became as powerful as her

Shuang Ye took her two daughters to travel in order to show her children the beauty of the world and let An Cheng meet her biological mother. During the trip, Shuang Ye was seriously ill and sent to the hospital. Her daughter knew everything, and her heart was painful and unacceptable. But in order to reassure her adoptive mother, she forced herself to become strong.

Don't cry in front of her, but also ask my sister to smile at her sick foster mother, go home to help cook, collect money in the bathhouse, and learn to take care of everything at home like a foster mother. At the same time, she learned optimism from her father. With her father and biological mother, she became more confident.

But when she saw her foster mother being tortured by illness and suffering, she couldn't help crying, but she wouldn't cry in front of her. Instead, she immediately wiped her tears and smiled at her.

In my opinion, An Cheng has gradually become a replica of her adoptive mother. The most important thing is only one thing, which teaches us that there is only one thing at present, and this important thing for An Cheng is that her adoptive mother is ill in hospital, and she must learn to take care of people and things around her. Only when you become strong can you take care of your sister, family and bathhouse business.

(2) In the face of all the sudden events, An Cheng became mature and confident

When her adoptive mother was ill in the hospital, An Cheng became her appearance:

At home, cooking for the whole family, cleaning the house neatly

In the bathhouse, learn to look like an adoptive mother, receive customers at the front desk, collect money and find money

At the hospital, take her sister to accompany her.

The foster mother finally left the world with the love of her family, leaving no regrets. Her "hot" love for her children has also changed from the initial severity to a meaningful education.

At the end of the film, the foster mother was buried at the foot of Mount Fuji. An Cheng received the arrival of relatives and friends just like the elders in the family, without feeling inferior. Some of them were mature and confident, and the funeral was held solemnly, quietly and beautifully under the arrangement of the family.

Living in the Present says: "No matter what happened in the past, the present life is the real life, and the future is also the result of the present choice."

In my opinion, An Cheng has already forgotten his inferiority complex, but has become mature and confident. After a series of changes, his heart has become stronger and stronger. Just like living in the present, bravely face the present life, no matter what hardships or pains it brings us, you will be able to achieve better yourself in the future. Accepting the death of adoptive mother calmly is undoubtedly the best way to say goodbye to the departed relatives.

Everyone has a sense of inferiority, but not everyone can change from inferiority to self-confidence. The film tells children why they should learn to be strong and become strong by describing a dying mother.

The end of the movie is actually the beginning. We have reason to believe that An Cheng's confidence and maturity will bring more infinite possibilities to her future when she faces a new beginning. Although her foster mother has left, she will restart her confident life when she faces life.

We understand that life is fragile through movies. No one knows what will happen in the next second. It is most important to live a good life in the present. For the past, not regretting, facing the future, not fearing, inferiority in different situations will create self-confidence, which is how the film teaches us to change from inferiority to self-confidence.