Know the source of your lack of confidence. Always feel that someone is scolding you behind your back? Always ashamed of something? Find these sources that make you feel insecure, give them a title, and you know it. Tell friends and lovers about these sources and express them boldly. Talking to others is not only to improve your courage, but also to get their help and find the root of the problem.
Know your strengths and advantages. Why indulge in your own failure? No one is perfect, but everyone has his own excellent place. Be proud of your strengths and advantages, after all, you are still quite powerful ~
Smile in the mirror, life is positive. Give yourself a smiling face, don't feel pity for life, and don't hate or despise yourself. Smile in the mirror often, which will make you feel happier and more confident.
Show your excellent side. Let others recognize you, let them think that you are very powerful, and your self-confidence will gradually improve, so show your talents and advantages. Go in the direction of your passion, cultivate more hobbies, make more good friends and make yourself confident.
Set goals and get ready. Set a goal, focus on your faith, focus on it. And be fully prepared, which will make it easier for you to achieve your goal. Always encourage yourself, because you will succeed!
Don't run away and dare not face failure. Only the weak and inferior people will stare at their own failures and shortcomings. They escape from reality and are not sure of themselves. There is a famous saying that "the fear in reality is far less terrible than the fear in imagination", so you should dare to face the challenge and have the courage to try several times, and your self-confidence will gradually rise.
Set constraints for yourself. Give yourself a little pressure, set some constraints and abide by them. When milian participated in survival training, he said to himself: No matter what kind of activities, I will try everything for me. As a result, it is conceivable that Mi Sew not only enjoyed the fun, but also enhanced self-confidence. So set yourself constraints, abide by them, and believe in yourself. Over time, your confidence will become your courage and strength.
[repost] original information website:/html/blog/354/19145.htm.
How to Cultivate Self-confidence (Required Reading)
Self-confidence (1) changes the thinking mode of compromise.
Some things may happen to you: busy with your own business, a friend invited you to dance, but because of face, he agreed, but he didn't enjoy it at all; It's getting late. Neighbors say mahjong is short of three things, urging them to stay up late, or sit on the mahjong table, for fear of choking the neighborhood. Lending money to others is always embarrassing to ask for it, for fear that others will say that they are stingy.
......
There is no denying that it is really embarrassing to encounter these things, but after careful scrutiny, we can find that there is indeed such a way of thinking: do what you want to do and worry that your actions will make the other party unhappy, but if you go against your wishes, you will feel uncomfortable; I'd rather feel uncomfortable than make others unhappy.
This is a typical way of thinking. Facing a problem, the first consideration is not the problem itself, but what will happen if you don't do what others want to do. It's like fighting a war. Before you see what the enemy looks like, you think about what to do if you lose. How did you win the battle? People who are not confident often think like this.
Psychologists have found that people who are not confident can't get out of the strange circle of thinking, mainly because they don't realize their basic rights.
These basic rights are:
Say "no" without guilt;
Express your views, feelings and emotions;
Make your own decisions and deal with some things;
Choose whether there are problems involving other people;
Refuse to know or understand something;
Make mistakes;
Success;
Change one's mind;
Protect your privacy;
Stay independent.
The key to getting out of the cycle of compromise thinking is to be familiar with your basic rights. Familiarizing yourself with your basic rights can be accomplished according to the following steps:
First, stay calm. The most commonly used method is to give yourself psychological hints to "keep calm", and you can also control your emotions by taking a deep breath.
Second, decide what you need: this shows your rights. For example, if you have an exam tomorrow, your need is to review your lessons.
Third, judge whether your needs are fair: this shows respect for the rights of others. For example, you need to rest at night, so as not to interfere with the interests of others.
Fourth, clearly express your needs. When you know what your needs are, and it is fair, you should express them boldly and resolutely.
People's behavior is dominated by their own way of thinking. It will be much easier to change your behavior if you start by changing your way of thinking.
Confidence (2) How to face criticism?
Everyone will inevitably be criticized in life, especially when your behavior changes, people around you will give you more "attention" and "comments". Therefore, if you have stopped refusing other people's demands, preferring to embarrass yourself rather than disappoint others, or occasionally saying "no", then criticisms such as "unreasonable", "arrogant" and "petty" will come to you.
Of course, some people who really care about you will criticize you in good faith. Not many people can face criticism correctly, and even fewer people like to be criticized by others. Especially people who lack self-confidence are unusually sensitive to criticism and always try their best to avoid it. Over time, they will feel fear. This fear devours confidence like cancer cells. Therefore, the less confident you are, the more afraid you are of criticism.
The only way to overcome the fear caused by criticism is to face it. This seems a bit vague, and the specific measures introduced below may be more targeted.
1. Listen to your criticism and don't interrupt. Don't use facial expressions or body movements to show that you don't want the other person to continue.
2. Think carefully about other people's accusations in your mind in order to change your behavior. For example, people say that your pronunciation is not standard, and then you will know what to do.
3. Help the other person express his objection clearly, instead of confusing his criticism, so that you can know what your shortcomings are.
4. Politely ask critics how to improve their behavior or how to do it better. This way, we can not only get to know each other, but also learn different behaviors.
If you think you are right, let the other person finish before explaining.
6. If others criticize confidently and it is really their own fault, then apologize to the other party and express their willingness to correct it. But it is enough to apologize once, at most twice. There is no need to apologize again and again and ask others for forgiveness. Excessive humility does not help to cultivate self-confidence.
(3) Learn to express your love.
It is not only criticism that scares people who are not confident, but also expressing their love that scares them. These fears are:
1, worried about being fooled. I dare not express my love. I think those words are ridiculous, and the other party will laugh at themselves.
2. Fear of rejection. If you are rejected by the other party, you will lose face and you will never see anyone again.
3, afraid of love impermanence. If you fall in love with someone and lose him (her), you will be very painful, so you can't stand the thought that he (she) may leave you, so you don't want to pay too much to avoid more pain in the future.
I am afraid of losing my independent personality. I am worried that after expressing my love, the whole person will collapse, lose freedom, lose personality, and even lose hands and feet, and the whole person will become different from the original.
These fears come from your past-some things in the past have left scars in your mind. For example, someone betrayed you before, so you are worried that someone will betray you in the future. But the past may not happen again, so as long as you grasp the present and try your best to express your love, all your fears will naturally disappear.
Introduce several ways to help you express your love.
First, create some special occasions so that you two can do some activities together. For example, have dinner together, talk about the trivia of the day, and try to extend the time. It's good for dispelling your fears.
Second, occasionally give something to the person you love that won't last. Of course, the other party should like what you send. For example, send a bunch of flowers to the person you love, or order a song for him/her.
Third, most importantly, try to do things you like to do with your partner, such as picnics, outings and movies-whatever, try to remember what you enjoyed with him or her. Do it when you have the chance, don't hesitate.
Self-confidence (4) Overcome shyness
After previous efforts, the seeds of self-confidence have finally sprouted, but there is still a difficult point to break through-shyness. Shyness and self-confidence are closely related.
Because if a person has never failed, then he is basically confident and not shy. However, people will encounter setbacks more or less, and there will be times of failure, and failures and setbacks will make people feel shy if they fail to meet the requirements. This shows that there is a trade-off between confidence and shyness. Being more confident means being less shy, whereas being less confident means being more shy.
In real life, we can also find an interesting phenomenon: confident people are hardly shy, and shy people are often not confident. Therefore, overcoming shyness is very important to cultivate self-confidence.
So how to overcome shyness? You can try the following methods:
1, never say anything about yourself for no reason. Maybe you did something wrong, such as saying something wrong, but that doesn't mean you are clumsy. Maybe you have shortcomings, such as small eyes, but there is no need to feel short-sighted and ugly.
2. Know your own advantages and disadvantages. Find some small cards and divide them into two colors: one represents advantages and the other represents disadvantages. Write down the advantages or disadvantages on each card. Then check which advantage is not played out and how to play this advantage; What shortcomings can you ignore? Get rid of these neglected and unnoticed shortcomings. In this way, you won't protect yourself too much; Then you will find that your advantages outweigh your disadvantages. Doing so will enable you to concentrate on your strengths and overcome your weaknesses.
3. Try to sit in the center of the crowd. Shy people usually like to turn around in the corner to avoid attracting attention. Because no one cares about themselves, which confirms the view that "no one cares about themselves". Get rid of this habit and give others a chance to pay attention to and care about you.
4. Say it out loud. Shy people talk in a low voice. You might as well raise your tone, and you will be more sure of your right to speak.
5. Keep your eyes on others when they are talking to you. Shy people tend to forget this. Of course, you don't have to stare at each other, but at least let them know that you are listening.
6. When someone doesn't answer you, repeat it. Don't make excuses for yourself that others are not interested in what you say.
7. When someone interrupts you, continue to finish. When we are talking, we are often interrupted. Shy people sometimes use actions to cause others to interrupt him, as if that is what they expected. Sometimes the other person interrupts to show interest in what you say, so don't interrupt the conversation as an excuse to avoid the crowd next time.
In fact, it's as simple as that-look at yourself correctly, speak loudly, look at each other, and let others pay attention to yourself ... Just like changing other behaviors, I always feel embarrassed at first, and feel more comfortable when I return to my old habits.
At this time, you might as well think of all your troubles on the bright side. The most important thing is not to care about those fears. You will gradually find yourself a different person. Generally speaking, people always think that it takes courage to act. On the contrary, shy people need action to have courage.
Therefore, action is not as good as action. As long as you do it, you will become more and more confident.
Confidence (5) Light the lamp of confidence in your heart.
The road of life can't be smooth sailing, and the unpleasant things are often nine times out of ten. Difficulties, setbacks, temporary failure to achieve the expected goals, and even some physical defects may make people feel inferior and feel sorry for themselves, seriously affect their work and study, and even give up on themselves.
According to psychology, inferiority is an emotional experience of feeling ashamed because of excessive self-denial. Mainly manifested in the low evaluation of their own factors such as their own ability, knowledge and quality; Psychological endurance is fragile and can't stand strong stimulation; Cautious, sentimental and often suspicious; Show timidity, hesitation, etc. Inferiority can happen to people of any age and kind. For example, if they are average in virtue and political integrity, and their lives have not yet flashed with "brilliance" and "brightness", they are often prone to sigh that they have seen through the world of mortals and helplessness that "the water has come out in spring", so that pessimism and disappointment are regarded as the main theme of life; After hard work, I have made achievements in my work and created "brilliance" in my career, but I am always worried that "scenery" will no longer be there, and it is easy to sigh that the future is bleak and "everything is empty"; With the growth of age, youth is gone forever, and it is often easy to sigh the ruthlessness of the years and the helplessness of the red sun ... This kind of inferiority is a heavy mental shackle to suppress self, and it is a negative and unhealthy mentality. It wears away people's will, softens people's beliefs, dilutes people's pursuit, makes people's spirit stiff and cringe, starts with self-doubt and self-denial, ends with self-burial and self-suppression, and makes people fall into the abyss of pessimism and sadness. It is really harmful!
The opposite of inferiority is self-confidence. Self-confidence means you believe in yourself and respect yourself. It is better to respect yourself than others to respect yourself. American writer Emerson said, "Self-confidence is the first secret of success." He added, "Self-confidence is the essence of heroism." People often compare self-confidence to the door to exert subjective initiative and start the intellectual motor, which is very reasonable. To establish self-confidence, we must correctly evaluate ourselves, discover our strengths and affirm our abilities. People often say that people are expensive and self-aware. This kind of "knowledge" is not only manifested in truthfully seeing one's own shortcomings, but also in truthfully analyzing one's own strengths. If you only see your own shortcomings, it seems to be modesty, but it is actually inferiority. Shorter feet, longer inches. Everyone has his own advantages and strong points. If we can objectively evaluate ourselves, find out our strengths and advantages on the basis of understanding our shortcomings and deficiencies, and compare them with others' strengths, we can stimulate self-confidence. Learn to appreciate yourself, praise yourself, find out all your strengths, strengths, achievements and things you are satisfied with, "show off" in your mind, repeatedly stimulate and hint at yourself "I can", "I can" and "I am really good", so that you can gradually get rid of the shadow of "everything is inferior to others, and it is difficult for you everywhere", and you will feel that life is full of vitality, hope and longing. I was born to be useful. Applause yourself, cheer for yourself, put a flower on yourself and send a flag, and you will be able to collide with the spark of life and cultivate heroic self-confidence like Archimedes' "Give me a fulcrum and I can shake the earth"!
Self-confidence is not narcissism, arrogance, complacency, unfounded self-righteousness and blind optimism; It is a psychological quality that inspires oneself to keep forging ahead, an optimism that meets the challenges of life with high fighting spirit and abundant energy, and a panacea to overcome self, bid farewell to inferiority and get rid of troubles. Self-confidence does not mean that you can succeed as easily as blowing dust, but that you should despise difficulties strategically, attach importance to them tactically, focus on the overall situation, start from small things, work hard on the ground, do everything well, overcome every difficulty, affirm yourself from the joy of victory and success again and again, and constantly break through the shackles of inferiority, thus creating the bright spot of life and achieving the glory of your career.
These are some articles I read online, which I think are very reasonable.
Part of self-confidence is born, and of course a large part is exercised.
I don't know if it will help you, but I hope you can build up your confidence slowly! !