I remember a lady once said: He has been flirting with me. I wanted to avoid him, but I accidentally fell into the whirlpool of feelings. In the interaction, I gradually found that he cares more about me than her husband. As you can guess, I didn't refuse him when he approached, and then I lost my marriage. Now think about how stupid I am. Nothing left, and he didn't marry me.
For many couples, marriage is a lifetime thing. Neither husband nor wife can leave home without special reasons. But many people decide the rest of their lives in one thought, which not only ruins love, but also ruins a happy marriage.
There are many problems in marriage for a reason. There is a saying that happiness is not easy, so why ask for unhappiness?
The problem is that many people didn't expect their "luck" to be so bad on the road of emotional mistakes.
First, many people are on pins and needles before making emotional mistakes.
I saw several unusual divorce cases. Strictly speaking, these cases all have a common feature, all because of "bad luck", misunderstanding and complaints caused by outspoken, and then divorce.
For these situations, a colleague's sister put forward three opinions to the effect that:
Some people say that women are gentle as water. In fact, we have seen a lot. Of course, we know that a woman's heart is harder than a stone. Therefore, those men who praise women as gentle as water should have never seen women get angry. There are many things between husband and wife. When a woman's heart is as hard as a stone, it often means that she has lost her mind and doesn't want to continue her marriage. Men should understand that you can't play hardball in this situation. If you want her to be mainly, your marriage is often untenable.
This is especially true for men. Many people say that men are emotionally calm. Even if they fall in love with a woman outside marriage, they will be more relaxed and agile when they look back in the future. In fact, men are not weaker than women when they are confused, and will be as hard as iron. It is not that men are really confused, but that men who fall in love with other women are not. It's just that they have new concerns in their hearts and feel ashamed of having a lover, so they will play dumb. Women should understand that a man's hardness does not mean real hardness. Men and women are really different. There is a limit to his heart of stone. After that, he will definitely look back. However, many men turn back too late and women don't want him.
Some people say that women can't change when they are confused, and men can often change when they are confused, and they are afraid that it is not enough to beat half. Actually, fighting is not the way. If you do, no matter who is right or wrong, you may get a divorce. In marriage, those tangled emotional problems are similar, and at least one person is restless. Don't talk if you know, and don't understand if you know. If you don't talk about saving, you will probably get divorced if you talk too much. In the face of emotional betrayal, you have to speak through your brain.
The elder sister's words can't be said to be applicable to all marriages, but at least the expressions about men and women are more correct and common.
Below, I will briefly talk about three cases about marriage and love. Because of one sentence, the husband and wife divorced.
Second, my friend divorced, and I put my foot in my mouth and divorced.
A 34-year-old woman, divorced, has two children with her ex-husband. She should have a happy family of four, but she divorced herself because she was outspoken about other people's marriages.
In the middle of last year, a girlfriend of Daling divorced her husband. Daling said that his girlfriend deserved it and she was not worthy of her husband. I didn't expect my best friend to know. My best friend retaliated by telling her husband Daling's secret.
The story of Daling is as follows:
I am a woman who believes in love and is also an irresponsible woman. I have two children and a stable family, but I got divorced because of a careless remark. I find that my best friends are all bad and I can't see others' good. Including myself, I don't want my best friend to be good.
The cause of the incident was that my best friend divorced her husband, and one day the sisters chatted with each other. I evaluated my best friend. I was only joking. I said she was too vain and deserved to be found out by her husband. She has been unfaithful to others all day, and she has nothing to lose from divorce. Who knows that the last message actually reached her ears.
My best friend scolded me and said she would give me a good look. I apologized to her, but she refused and said a lot of bad things about me to my husband. I can't believe my husband believes that she doesn't believe me! My husband asked me to tell the truth whether I had done anything wrong to him.
At that time, I had a strange feeling in my heart. My husband who slept with me for many years was so strange. Does he still love me? He actually believed the story of his best friend!
For my family, yes, I admit my mistake. I apologized to my husband, but it was too late. He hit me in the face. Although he forgave me, I felt embarrassed to continue.
Think about that time, sad that I finally made a mistake. A colleague is very concerned about me and advises me not to cry every day. Even if my husband doesn't want me, he will divorce and marry me.
I was moved. I dated him for the first time. He said he loved me, and I gradually fell in love with him. Although my husband knelt down and begged me not to divorce, it was too late. I didn't love my husband anymore.
I regret it and miss my children very much. My colleague didn't keep his promise and his wife scratched my face. I regret my divorce, but my ex-husband left me. If he was too good to hit me, I wouldn't have made a mistake. I'm not afraid of divorce, but it's a pity that I made my children suffer.
Third, evaluate other people's feelings and divorce because of his wife's suspicion.
Yamato, 47 years old, divorced 1.5 years, one son has been a graduate student. Currently big and single. Although his ex-wife visits him every week and is willing to accompany him for a few days, she is unwilling to remarry with Yamato. There is a man beside her. It is said that Daiwa still loves her.
Sometimes we should believe this sentence. He who does nothing wrong is not afraid of ghosts knocking at the door. If we do something wrong, we will always be exposed.
The story of Yamato is as follows:
Marriage is like a game to some people. Sometimes the skills are not high, and there is no money to "make up for life", and marriage is gone. My marriage is like a game. I made a mistake because of my bad attitude. My wife left me in a rage and fell in love with another man.
Strictly speaking, I am an ordinary and normal man, with a little elegance and a little playboy. Although I am over 40 years old, I have never given up my pursuit of "beauty".
I like painting. I met a woman who studied painting that year. She is a novice and a student of Chinese painting. To tell the truth, there was no one in the studio in the town at that time, and it was just the two of us who often went in summer, so let's not talk about it. I taught her to write, and she fell in love with me unconsciously, and said that anything would do as long as I taught her.
How can I get emotional with her? I'm just playing a game. But then I fell in love with her, too I can't tell you that feeling. I miss her when I can't see her.
I started my pursuit, really paid my feelings, and often took her everywhere to eat and climb mountains. Unfortunately, she didn't choose me in the end. She left me for her children.
I don't blame her, but I am also very wronged. Who says men don't understand grievances? I want to complain, but I can't find anyone.
I put my foot in my mouth when my wife's sister divorced. I said that when a man wants a divorce, he usually meets a woman who is better than his wife. I don't blame the man's cruelty, only blame your sister for being unkind to him. My wife asked me what I meant, and I said I love women too. Fortunately, I am rational. If I don't want to let go, I can marry her, just like your sister.
My wife is angry with me. I didn't expect her to hit me so strongly. I also hit her when I was angry, forcing her to make mistakes.
I told her that if you are not convinced, if you have the ability, you can also find a man, and I won't stop you. Who knows she really found it. I didn't expect a woman in her forties to be loved. I shouldn't have divorced. Now I regret it. I lost my happy family. She lingers between me and that man, and I don't know how to save her.
If I am not mistaken, I should be very happy.
Fourth, it is not easy to talk about feelings in a romantic marriage.
Speaking of the case of "one sentence ruined marriage", although it seems quite inappropriate, it was not built in one day, of course, because there is a story behind it. Love should be a "single point and single line", but many people have become "nets"!
There are many similar cases, and I remember seeing them once. A woman satirized her divorced rival and finally ruined her marriage.
Her experience is as follows:
After learning that her rival was divorced, the lady said: That vain woman once robbed others of their love and family, and now she loves to watch it. She finally ruined her happiness, so she should remember it for a long time. It's amazing that she didn't get divorced today!
It is because of this sentence that her new husband first learned about her dusty emotional history. Her husband asked her that it was not easy for her to take care of her children after divorce. Why do you hate her so much? Under her husband's intentional questioning, she said the right and wrong of the relationship that belonged to her.
It turns out that my rival in love once stole her ex-boyfriend, and now she wants to steal someone else's marriage. Of course, she was glad to learn that she was divorced and mocked her for what she deserved.
She thought that telling the truth about the past would be understood by her husband, and it was no big deal, but she was wrong. At her husband's request, she also showed him photos of her ex-boyfriend. She was so proud that she told her husband that I wouldn't marry you if my rival in love didn't take my ex-boyfriend.
Husband doesn't care about her love history, but he cares about another thing.
I didn't expect my husband to keep an eye on it. He found that his children were very similar to his wife's so-called ex-boyfriend. Needless to say, she couldn't explain the child's problem and was kicked out of the house.
She said: If I were not so jealous and talkative, maybe my ex-husband would never know what my ex-boyfriend looked like. If it is, he doesn't know that the child is like my ex-boyfriend, and I won't get divorced. I regret it, but it's too late.
Actually, what she said is wrong. In this case, it is better to divorce early. On the one hand, it is good for her ex-husband, on the other hand, it will not delay her youth too much. Whoever raises children is fair.
5. Some people don't deserve pity.
Some people say that marriage is the transformation of love, just like the process of cocoon becoming a butterfly. Only after suffering can we better adapt to this world. Of course, transformation is a painful process, because you can better adapt to the world after you turn a cocoon into a butterfly.
You don't need any reason to like someone. You always want to get close to that person. It's a pity that just like is not love after all. Like is an emotional expression, but love needs the participation of sensibility and rationality. Unless you like it to the extreme, it cannot be equated with love.
In marriage, it is not easy to be a woman, nor is it easy to be a man. Only emotional or rational love, not love. If you want to live an easy life, you must first have a conscience. Your first wrong marriage, even if it fails, is not pitiful.
Rome was not built in a day, this sentence can't be wrong. Those so-called "one sentence ruined marriage" cases are just inappropriate in the final analysis. Can't say that love is cruel. If you actively live up to your conscience, of course, this will not happen.