Harmonious interpersonal relationships are not only an important part of college students’ mental health, but also an important source of college students’ healthy psychology.
Contemporary college students were basically born after the 1980s. Due to the influence of society, school, family and self, some college students have obvious difficulties in interpersonal communication, which has led to a series of bad campus behaviors. Problems occasionally become one of the focuses of social attention.
1. Various communication barriers among college students
College students are divided into classes by majors and departments by subjects. Classes and departments are the groups in which they live. After a simple high school student goes to college, If he is accidentally despised by others or excluded from group activities, and he is not good at interacting and does not improve through changes, he may enter a state of loneliness and depression, which may plague his four-year university life and even affect his academic performance. future behavior. Due to their shallow experience, college students generally lack experience in dealing with interpersonal relationships. The communication difficulties of college students are mainly manifested in their desire to integrate into the group driven by their instinctive state, and on the other hand, they are accustomed to acquired self-centered behavior patterns. Sometimes they cannot adapt, accept, or understand the differences between their peers. That kind of natural law of equal quarrels, reasonable collisions and normal running-in, so objectively the group cannot tolerate them; subjectively it cannot tolerate the group itself.
Main symptoms ① Self-isolation: Living in one’s own world, not adaptable to or uninterested in external things, and unwilling to interact with others. ②Easy to be impulsive: People often take drastic actions to solve the little things that happen around them. How well college students handle their interpersonal relationships during school will directly affect their study, life and work. Harmonious interpersonal relationships can make people happy physically and mentally, thereby promoting learning and improving work efficiency. However, a considerable number of college students are now in indifferent and alienated interpersonal relationships. They are unhappy and sometimes have a hostile and hateful attitude, which leads to aggressive behavior and is harmful to physical and mental health.
2. Reasons for college students’ communication barriers
There are many reasons that affect college students’ communication problems. To sum up, they probably include the following points:
1. Development of social population policies and the impact on family life. Family life under the new population policy often causes children to form "self-centered" behavior patterns. When these children gather in a group, population problems with Chinese characteristics will occur. Before the 1980s, Chinese families not only had 'vertical' relationships, but also had 'horizontal' relationships. The 'horizontal' relationships were reflected in the fact that each family basically had more than two children, and children from the neighborhood visited each other. Little friends Injuries, quarrels, and tears are unavoidable during laughter and play, but children learn to compete and cooperate and form interpersonal concepts in the process of playing games. Since my country implemented the family planning policy of "one couple, one child", China's Most families are only children, and the "horizontal" relationship is gone. The children enjoy the care and even doting brought by "vertical" blood relatives (grandparents, parents). The lack of a collective environment since childhood leads to a lack of collective sense of honor and cooperation spirit; the parents' Excessive accommodation made the only child lack the basic ability to live independently and deal with others when he went to college; he lacked a frank attitude and extreme understanding, etc. Xiao Wu went to college. After a while, he felt that the dormitory was too narrow, the classes were boring, and he was alone. He rented a house outside the school and invited a female student from the northwest to live with him. He provided her with food and accommodation for free, while she washed, cooked and slept with him every day. It was unclear whether they were a young couple or a master-servant relationship. The news spread to Xiao Xiao. In Wu's hometown, the mother felt that her child was too noisy, so she made a long-distance call to accuse her. Unexpectedly, the child raised her neck and said very reasonably: "You have pampered me since I was a child, and I don't know how to wash and cook. How can I survive alone?" "A leaf knows autumn", Xiao Wu's family can see the new problems of contemporary campuses.
2. The impact of the campus environment
The university has a relatively open learning environment. Among them, students absorb various ideas and behaviors, and if they are not handled properly, conflicts will arise. Compared with middle schools, the management model of universities is looser and emphasizes personal interests and development.
In middle school, the accommodation is centralized or at home, and the daily arrangements are fixed. The class teacher also serves for several years and sees each other every day. Familiar faces, similar languages, and customs constitute a familiar living environment. When you enter university, you will be surrounded by people from different regions who are strangers to you, with different languages ??and customs. You have to rely on your own communication skills to adapt to this environment. University is a bridge to society. College students can interact with people in society and can freely access the Internet in Internet cafes or even in their dormitories.
3. College students’ own factors.
College is one of the most intense and obvious periods of psychological change in a person's life. If you cannot correctly evaluate yourself and others, and cannot make correct self-selection and self-development, it will affect your entire life. College students have greater autonomy on campus. College students can delve into vast professional knowledge and roam in the vast virtual Internet space. The worst thing is that students who are obsessed with games cannot extricate themselves from the interfaces such as "Counter Terrorism" and "Legend", and ignore the interpersonal activities among classmates, friends, and teachers, because the real ones are far less exciting than the virtual ones. If such college students have weak self-control, they will feel that they are not doing well and may even take action against others. In addition, college students who do not pay attention to the cultivation of interpersonal relationships like to work alone in a fiercely competitive society, are prone to self-isolation, and are not good at communicating and cooperating with others to prevent self-exposure and loss of competitiveness. Xiaoling is a quiet and introverted student. He entered university from the countryside with high scores. He was full of enthusiasm at first, but soon found that he did not know how to communicate with others. He watched others chatting happily and happily participated in various activities. She felt extremely nervous and uneasy during all kinds of activities, and was even reluctant to appear in crowded places. She once thought of going home. From the perspective of cognitive psychology, the cognitive image of interpersonal communication comes from experience and feelings. The experience of interacting with others is like information input into the brain, and the feelings generated during interaction are like a software package. After processing and implementation at that time, it is combined into a file. Children like Xiao Ling and those who often stay alone at home have little contact with others during middle school when their main task is to study. When they grow up, they lack an objective environment to interact with others and lack the ability to communicate with others through language. The experience of interacting with people and the realistic feelings of interacting with others cannot be formed, so it is impossible to form a cognitive image of interpersonal communication. This makes them feel at a loss and lack confidence in the relatively colorful life on university campuses.
3. Suggestions for improving the communicative ability of college students
According to the dialectical thinking that internal factors dominate external factors, in order to improve the communicative ability of college students, we must first set up compulsory courses in order to change their thinking; Then, develop individual information consultation activities to achieve a "point-to-face" combination.
1. Establish compulsory courses for communication and psychology majors and carry out public and positive publicity and education.
Everyone has the desire to discover the inner secrets of others. Generally speaking, only by opening your own heart can you enter the hearts of others. Taking the initiative to show kindness to others is to achieve ideological communication and emotional harmony. the first step. When you encounter disagreements during a relationship, look at the problem through role replacement, and you may gain an unprecedented understanding. At the same time, we must understand that everyone has the right to retain their own opinions and live according to their own wishes. Do not force others to change, respect others, do not demand too much of others, and cooperate with others with an open mind. When your roommate's friends come to visit, give them a warm reception. Don't make loud noises during breaks. Good interpersonal relationships start from every little thing around you.
2. Develop psychological counseling services and improve the role of psychological counseling.
School psychological consultation is an important way to improve students' mental health and optimize their psychological quality. It is also an important part of psychological quality education. College students' personalities are becoming increasingly mature and stable, their values ????and worldview have basically taken shape, and they show their own unique views on many issues, but they may also tend to be stubborn and aggressive. Although some students are usually unwilling to communicate with their classmates, they have certain needs for psychological counseling. They may get explanations and comfort from school psychological counseling teachers.
Under the current conditions of "school-to-school connection" and "house-to-school connection", it is recommended that schools set up "non-face-to-face, anonymous" text and voice synchronous consultation services on the computer network, so that this work can reach the majority of students. It has become one of the school’s modern education brands.
3. Strengthen communication between schools and families to form a joint educational effort among students, parents and teachers.
Parents are their children’s first teachers. Family education is particularly important in a person’s educational experience. Children’s emotions, understanding and values ??are largely affected by family education.