Contents:

Chapter 1: Psychological intervention to prevent domestic violence.

Chapter 2: After 14 calls to the police, what can women do to fight against domestic violence regardless of the cost?

The former "Don't talk to strangers" brought domestic violence into people's sight for the first time. Although the status of women in modern society has improved, there are still many women who are still struggling in the quagmire of domestic violence. What to do about domestic violence? What does Li Yang’s domestic violence mean?

Psychological intervention to prevent domestic violence

It has been half a year since the crazy domestic violence incident of Li Yang, the founder of Crazy English, in September 2011. At present, the heated discussion about the incident in the society is still continuing. There is no doubt that we need to talk about Li Yang’s domestic violence incident from a psychological perspective.

Analysis of the Salient Characteristics of Domestic Violence

Through various forms of media reports on Li Yang’s domestic violence, we basically analyzed the characteristics of general domestic violence:

1. In Li Yang’s domestic violence incident, the victim was his wife Jin, and Li Yang himself was the perpetrator: his behavior was covert, for example, it all happened at home or in a closed space. Usually not public violence. If Jin had not shown his wounds to the public through a small amount, no one would have believed that this was a real incident;

2. The motivation for his behavior was intentional. It is completely unbelievable to say that he has no intention of hitting others, but they are just excuses and excuses. Under tremendous pressure from the public and society, Li Yang had to admit the fact of domestic violence and fully admit that he clearly wanted to beat or even kill someone.

4. Domestic violence is illegal and cannot be done behind closed doors. It is our family matter. Li Yang felt that this matter could be resolved by himself and his wife. There's no need for everyone to know, but I didn't know it was much more serious than that. In the Western legal system, he will face strict sanctions and control.

5. Its general characteristic is repeatability. Once, usually a second time, or multiple times. In the past six months, we have seen their violent incidents (in addition to physical violence, verbal violence, mental violence, etc.) continue.

6. The consequences of domestic violence are generally serious. The harm is not only physical, but also psychological, or the safety of your family. For example, Li Yang's career suffered a setback, and his social recognition and reputation were greatly reduced: Mrs. Li Yang's future life is worrying. How to heal the psychological shadow and trauma suffered by her children? and other practical issues such as feeding and survival. So we say that family problems are often social problems. Don’t think that it’s your personal business behind closed doors. The consequences are often unexpected and unbearable by the parties involved.

Analysis of special causes of domestic violence

Most domestic violence is committed by men against women, but there are also historical reasons. Since ancient times, there has been the influence of ideas such as "men are superior to women" or "three obediences and four virtues". Nowadays, many men think that their wives are their private property and they can kill or chop them up at will. Li Yang, who has a brilliant career, undoubtedly also has this kind of patriarchal mentality. Although our laws prohibit violence, they are relatively principled. There are no clear criteria for recognition or sanctions. This does provide many perpetrators with a psychological advantage and inertia toward violence.

In daily life, we have a habit: it is difficult for upright officials to deal with household affairs. It seems that fighting and quarreling are our own family matters and cannot be dealt with by others. But Li Yang's wife, Jin, is an American. She hopes to solve the problem through legal and public moral opinions, so the problem is amplified.

It is undeniable that many domestic violence incidents also have financial reasons. For example, some women are not financially independent and are too dependent on men or husbands. In this way, men will be more confident to beat their wives. When Li Yang and his wife started a business together, everyone got along well. However, as the number of children increased and Jin gradually became a full-time housewife, the differences and frictions between the two must have increased. Coupled with poor communication and opaque economic issues, etc. Problems will eventually explode when they accumulate to a certain extent.

Judging from the many marriage and love counseling cases that Chen Yi has experienced, many factors of domestic violence are the result of extramarital affairs, with the involvement of a third party. At present, it seems that the Li Yang incident does not have this factor and is just an amplified case.

In many marriage counseling cases I have come into contact with, domestic violence caused by extramarital affairs is the primary reason, accounting for 60 to 70%.

You may overlook that domestic violence serves as a negative teaching material. For example, many children with domestic violence will bring the domestic violence emotions and behavioral patterns of their original family into their own families when they grow up. Many violent parties in our psychological counseling cases can find the triggers and influences of their violent behavior in "Family of Origin" when analyzing the deep psychological level. It can be seen that the words and deeds of parents are very important.

In fact, through many media materials, we can see that Li Yang has an inferiority complex. It is estimated that this has a lot to do with the negative events and setbacks he had when he was a child. We can also see his special so-called "crazy English" mode: such as excessive enthusiasm for things, neglect of family, over-recognition and extreme pursuit of his own value. wait. His career success did not lessen his stress. On the contrary, his low self-esteem and inner desire to achieve a great career made it difficult for him to control himself. The imbalance of his inner psychological energy caused him to only use this method. If you're worried about the inside, it's natural that you should worry about the outside. Recently his wife Kim has become the unintentional target of violence.

Of course, in the Li Yang domestic violence incident, we saw the independent personality and tit-for-tat attitude of Li Yang’s wife Jin, which was also one of the triggers for the escalation of the incident. In the cases I handle, it is generally advocated that one of the parties should calm down, avoid violence, and temporarily leave the violent environment and violent psychological atmosphere. This is a very important way to alleviate domestic violence.

Suggestions for dealing with domestic violence

As far as Li Yang’s domestic violence incident is concerned, what makes us think is that this is not only a marriage issue between men and women, but also a problem between China and the West. Cultural differences, as well as the professional positioning and misalignment of both parties, as well as specific ways to resolve conflicts. It’s more complicated, and we will have different suggestions in our specific marriage and love consultations.

Pay attention to your first domestic violence incident. You can forgive the other person, but at least let them know that they do not accept domestic violence, they will never show weakness, and they will never do it again. Li Yang's wife Jin adopted a tolerant and quiet attitude during Li Yang's first domestic violence and subsequent domestic violence. As a result, Li Yang's violence is escalating. In the end, I had no choice but to think about solving the problem through social help only after I died. It provides a great example for many women grieving domestic violence. If you don't stand up bravely in the face of domestic violence, then you have to face the cruelty of domestic violence yourself, and you have to evaluate the risks of solving the problem yourself.

2. In an emergency, you should use 110 to call the police. Many times, many people overestimate their ability to deal with domestic violence and think they can close the door and solve it on their own. You can't solve the problem, but you are hurting yourself. The best opportunity to solve the problem was missed.

Third, actively seek help. For example, to friends, neighborhood committees, women's federations, etc. In the case of Li Yang’s domestic violence, we saw that they also went to special marriage and family psychological counseling in the later period. But unfortunately, Li Yang only went once and refused. Marriage problems must be faced and solved by both parties. Unilateral appeals are of no real help or significance.

Fourth, pay attention to collecting evidence. For example, hospital diagnosis, showing wounds to acquaintances, etc. This is the minimum cognitive preparation for rights protection.

Be cautious and rational about your marriage. If you say that the other party continues to do domestic violence and refuses to change despite repeated admonitions, divorce must be your choice. Have the courage to get out of the vicious cycle of domestic violence and live the life you really want. Restraint and tolerance are not without principles and bottom lines.

After calling the police 14 times, what can women do to fight against domestic violence regardless of the cost?

Through domestic violence cases, many domestic violence incidents are caused by husbands’ extramarital affairs. Domestic violence and extramarital affairs are two major problems for women’s rights protection. In real life, brave women embark on a difficult road to defend their rights when they suffer domestic violence or their husbands have affairs. However, a woman in Nanning frequently called the police 14 times after her husband committed domestic violence and tried to take up legal weapons to defend her rights, but her husband did not pay any price. Faced with "rough" laws and regulations, women's legitimate rights and interests have been violated. What can they do?

14 Alerts

There is no cost to the criminal.

Huifeng (pseudonym) can’t remember how many times Li beat her since she married her husband Li in 2009.

Huifeng said that in March 2010, Li received a call and was going to have dinner with a netizen. Knowing it was "that woman," I asked to go with her. Li refused to admit it. After arguing with her for a few words, Li raised his fist and punched her on the head. She fell to the ground, and then her face and abdomen were hit like raindrops. She struggled to get up and rushed out the door, shouting for help. Moreover, the property management staff of the community saw her being chased by her husband with a stick. Afterwards, the police took Li to the police station and she was sent to the hospital. This injury was minor.

Facing the police, Li admitted his mistake and promised not to do it again in the future. The matter is over, and the result is the same every time I call the police. The police told her that this was her domestic dispute and that it would be difficult for the police to intervene. As far as the injuries were concerned, she had no evidence and they couldn't build a case. The neighbor was indeed chasing her at the time, but she did not see her being beaten, and based on the extent of her injuries, she was unable to punish Li.

From July 2010 to March of the following year, Li often did not go home because of his affair. I would scold her when I got home, and hit her when she got annoyed. Huifeng remembered that she made 14 calls to the police at different police stations, all of which were reported by herself or witnesses when she was beaten. In addition, she also has a certificate of injury from a hospital examination, but so far, Li is safe and does not have to bear any consequences.

To obtain evidence

Buy various equipment for tracking

Hui Feng was unwilling to give in. She wants to know the evidence of Li's cheating and violence against her so that he can get the punishment he deserves. In order to resist and self-defense, Huifeng bought equipment such as electric prods; in order to collect evidence, after consulting a lawyer, she secretly installed a GPS locator on Li's electric car and took a voice recorder, a small camera and other equipment with her.

Every time he was abused or beaten, Huifeng would take out the recording equipment whenever he had the chance, and Li would fall silent when he saw it. Several times, based on the locator, Huifeng learned that Li was not at work, but had gone to "that woman's" home. Therefore, she often carries her two-year-old child on her back. Huifeng said she discovered that Li would go to "that woman" every less than a week. On August 21, 2011, when she took her child to kindergarten, she followed her child to the intersection of Jian_ in Si County. After being discovered by Li, Li slapped her in the face, but she still followed closely.

When she reached a certain section of the road, Li violently attacked her, and she took out an electric baton to fight back. Unexpectedly, Li snatched away the electric baton and her handbag was thrown away. When she tried to grab the bag, she was tackled to the ground and severely beaten by Li. Li also smashed her mobile phone and small camera in her handbag.

Huifeng said that many people saw that she was beaten to a bloody pulp and could not get up. Later, 120 ambulance took her to the hospital. But when facing the police, Li said a lot about her, saying that she hit him first. Li also said that he hoped she would be on good terms with him and "stop making trouble." The police let Li go again, and that was the end of the matter. "What I regret most now is that due to cost issues, I did not do an injury assessment that time. This is the most serious time. If it is identified as a minor injury, maybe he will bear criminal responsibility."

In the past few years, Huifeng has reported the situation to the neighborhood committees, women's federations and other departments in the jurisdiction, but has been unable to solve the problem because there is no direct evidence. A few months ago, she also submitted a complaint to the urban public security bureau, but did not receive a clear response. However, on March 27, Huifeng told reporters that the police in the jurisdiction informed her to go to the police station

Gao Ning, director of the Rights Department of the Autonomous Region Women's Federation, said that according to the data of the Women's Federation in recent years, the number of women who have complained about domestic violence has increased year by year. reduce. Perhaps this is related to the increase in men’s legal awareness and women’s awareness of rights protection. Even so, many female victims do not pay attention to preserving evidence: when experiencing domestic violence, women should report to the police immediately; women who have suffered domestic violence for a long time should seek help from the local neighborhood committee or women's federation, and the neighborhood committee will issue relevant certificates; if there are injuries to body parts, Go to the hospital promptly and take photos with your camera to keep a certificate.

“However, it is really difficult for women who have suffered domestic violence to defend their rights.” Gao Ning said that in judicial practice, the People’s Court’s threshold for identifying domestic violence is too high. “Some courts believe that only injuries are domestic violence, which should constitute minor injuries or multiple minor injuries.

They tend not to identify one or two beatings as domestic violence, and they are less concerned about the mental harm caused to others through insults and slander.

In traditional concepts, domestic violence is still regarded as a "household matter." Even if the police call the police, the public security organs are unwilling to intervene. That is to say, the abuser deeply believes that "household affairs cannot be handled by others." The marital relationship has become a shield and talisman for the abuser. Gao Ning said that after the police station receives a report, it is generally considered to be a family civil dispute, and the perpetrators are rarely punished.

Gao Ning also said that when the Women's Federation handles domestic violence complaints, it usually first understands what happened, finds out the root cause of the domestic violence, and clearly informs the perpetrator of the harmfulness and illegality of domestic violence. In addition, the Women's Federation will provide legal aid to female victims, as well as views and opinions on the matter.

Gao Ning said frankly that our country’s laws on suppressing domestic violence are scattered in various laws, which are highly principled and have poor operability.

Mate selection advice

Don’t get married when there are signs of violence

Gao Ning reminded that when making friends, the woman should first pay attention to how the man treats others. If the other party has violent tendencies, such as beating and scolding family members or being impulsive, the woman should carefully consider marriage issues. You must stick to your own principles from the beginning, and you cannot live with the other person just because the other person treats you well. "He can beat or scold his family members or have a bad temper today, and he will beat you in the future."

Gao Ning also said that preventing domestic violence should start from small things. By studying many cases of domestic violence, she found that domestic violence always starts from small things. Many women don't care about their husbands' minor acts of violence, thinking they are just ordinary domestic disputes. "If you don't point out his fault in a small fight, he will treat you in a more violent way in the future." After discovering that your husband has violent tendencies, you should talk to him and point out the dangers of doing so. Only by taking precautions from small things can we prevent more serious domestic violence.

It is reported that many domestic violence cases are caused by extramarital affairs. Extramarital affairs are difficult to prove. Even if the wife provides photos of her husband and his mistress together, it cannot be said to be an extramarital affair. To prove the crime of bigamy, two conditions must be met: first, the couple cohabits openly in the name of husband and wife; second, the couple jointly performs the same obligations as husband and wife, such as supporting parents, raising children, building a house, etc. Gathering this evidence is difficult. At present, domestic violence sanctions in my country mainly apply to the intentional homicide, injury, and abuse provisions in the Criminal Law and the Public Security Administration Punishment Law. For a trivial matter, my husband would punch and kick me, but outsiders would not know. It does not preserve any evidence collection cases when an injured party is injured. Most of the injuries were not serious, and minor acts of violence did not qualify for these charges.

In addition, although the revised "Marriage Law" has added an "anti-domestic violence" clause, there is still no clear provision on the extent to which violence is domestic violence and what punishment should be meted out. Law enforcement officers have difficulties in the specific implementation process, and the perpetrators

Conclusion: Whether it is love or marriage, people hope that "the prince and the princess will live happily ever after" like in the fairy tale, but If domestic violence occurs, you must seek help promptly. (The article was originally published in "Health Expo", serial number: March 2012, author Chen Yi, and the copyright belongs to the author; the purpose of reprinting is to convey more information, which does not mean that 360 Knowledge Network agrees with its views and is responsible for its authenticity. If For issues involving content, copyright, etc., please contact us as soon as possible and we will delete the content as soon as possible)