Social phobia is a kind of anxiety disorder in medicine, which is manifested as obvious and lasting fear in public places or when interacting with people. Nowadays, many young people call themselves "social phobia", which does not reach the level of disease, but presents a mood and state of avoiding and resisting socialization.
Why do young people avoid or resist socializing?
First of all, we should see that this generation of young people who have grown up in the rapid social change are witnesses to the change of social mode, and their interpersonal communication will inevitably show new characteristics. According to the Survey Report on the Post-90s Youth in China released by Analysys think tank and Tencent QQ, the post-90s youth group has become accustomed to the growth of "self-axis", and "loneliness" is an inevitable state in their growth process-"Most of them are only children, and their childhood memories are full of loneliness; They grew up in tall buildings, and their busy parents couldn't take care of them; Reinforced concrete blocks children's social opportunities, and they gradually get used to playing by themselves. "
With the rapid advancement of urbanization, most young people grow up in social units dominated by "small families" and lack the experience of traditional social interaction such as relatives and neighbors. For example, many post-90s members said that they would not move frequently because of the huge gap between relatives: "We left home early to study and work, and we still have a long way to go with our families, not to mention relatives."
With the thin interpersonal experience in the process of growing up, it is the complexity of socialization itself in the era of mobile Internet.
Scenes are generalized and socialized all the time. "People can rest, but the Internet operates 24 hours a day. There are always countless little red dot waiting to be opened in the mobile phone: group punching, class notification, friend greetings, classmate invitations, community activities ... must be dealt with seriously. " According to Cecilia Han, a junior, socializing is always accompanied by pressure.
Mixed functions, no social interaction everywhere. "We have too many social activities, and our efficiency and purpose are disgusting. Even if you grab the train ticket home, you must' invite friends to help me speed up'. " Netizens gave feedback in the survey.
Under such contradictions, some young people call themselves "socially fearful" youth, which is also traceable. The label "social fear" is more like a shield in their hands. In the realistic and anxious social dilemma, I have to pick up this shield to cope with the pervasive social pressure.
"It may be a bit exaggerated to say that social degradation is, in a way, our self-adaptation to real life." Xiao Ting, a psychology major, said that many young people with "social phobia" highly admire new "social etiquette", such as using WeChat to talk about small things, not making phone calls, typing and talking. The core is to keep a proper social distance and give each other a little freedom and relaxation.
Virtual socialization is not the antidote to social fear.
While experiencing social changes, the development of technology is also bringing new ways of communication. From SMS to QQ and WeChat, from forums to blogs and Weibo, to Aauto Quicker and Tik Tok, the iterative social software provides more convenient communication options and gradually shapes the social habits of this generation of Internet aborigines.
In real life, many friends seldom meet. The article "Social Obstacles in Urban Life:" It is an extravagant hope to meet once in a while "describes the current situation: people from Dongcheng District who are also in Beijing want to make good friends who work in Xicheng District, and they should also pay attention to" good weather, good geographical position and good people ". Even if the other party comes to his company for business reasons, they may not be able to meet because they have something on hand.
In the online world, making friends is not limited by time and space. Social software can "add" a stranger as a friend in one second. Even if you don't meet offline, there are frequent interactions on social media, which looks very lively. "Just like in the game, the force value and defense value of the characters are supplemented in different ways, and social interaction is the same. Face-to-face chat is a little more, and mobile chat is a little less, but the cost is small! After chatting with various software, my social value can also be filled. " Xiaohui, who works for an internet company, is very busy at work. Friends often miss dinner, but he has his own way of making friends.
According to statistics, there are currently more than 20 million young people living alone in China. Being alone offline, online "excitement" has become the norm. According to the Insight Report on the Life of Young People Living Alone in 2020, 64.83% of the respondents choose to make new friends through social software, and making friends online is a "necessary option" for many young people living alone to alleviate their loneliness.
However, can online socialization be an antidote to "social fear" youth? The answer may be just the opposite. Shirley Turkel, a social psychologist, once put forward the concept of "group loneliness": "Everyone is familiar with such a scene: family members are together, not talking, but watching computers and mobile phones separately; Friends get together not to catch up, but to refresh Weibo and WeChat desperately; In class, the teacher is talking and the students are chatting online. During the meeting, others are reporting and the audience is sending and receiving information. " She believes that all these phenomena can be attributed to "group loneliness"-we seem to be together, but in fact we live in our own "bubble". We expect less others and more technology.
The uninterrupted connection in virtual space makes people fall into deeper loneliness. To break this cycle, only let everyone "together" better. "We should take the initiative to participate in offline conversations to make up for the lack of' physical absence' in online communication, and use real' together' to cure lonely people and build a better life together." Lin Bin, a professor at the Marxist College of Sun Yat-sen University, said this in Thinking about Group Loneliness: We Are Alone.
"This year's Spring Festival has been extended because of the epidemic. When I am studying and working outside, I can only communicate with my family by video. This time I went home to play cards with my parents, make tea and talk about my childhood, which made me feel more real family support. " The post-90 s girls said that sometimes it is this dull getting along that makes us rediscover and cherish the interaction and connection in reality. She decided to spend more time with friends in the real world.
Get rid of inertia and break through the cocoon house of society
When group loneliness becomes a comfort zone, facing wave after wave of new virtual social waves, some young people are increasingly reluctant to come out and face the reality.
"A considerable part of modern people's free time is occupied by smartphones and tablets. Spending a few hours or even ten hours on the electronic screen every day feels that time passes quickly, and there is a feeling of' not letting go', leaving less attention resources for real life. " This feeling is becoming more and more common.
Because of its low cost and full-time characteristics, virtual socialization is becoming a "greenhouse" to avoid the pressure of real society. At present, the growth trend of companion apps is becoming more and more obvious, and a large number of paid companion apps such as voice chat rooms and game sparring appear. Young people with social networking needs can buy chat projects with just a finger.
There is a concept of "information cocoon room" in communication science, which means that people are habitually guided by their own interests when obtaining information, so they are trapped in the cocoon room like cocoons. In the social field, contemporary young people seem to be trapped in a "cocoon room", unwilling to go out of the comfort zone of making friends, forming a cycle in which the more they avoid socializing, the less they will socialize and confine their lives to a narrow space.
"In the two years when I refused to socialize, I didn't make any new friends and lived exceptionally well, but I really lost myself." Netizen Lei once had the experience of "social fear" in one day. Later, she found that sincere communication between people is the best medicine to cure unhappiness.
"We still have to try to open our hearts to embrace, to touch and perceive this world that people love and hate. For people with social phobia, this is a bit difficult, but only by breaking free from loneliness can you get fun, affection and love. " She said.
There are more and more young people who break through the social "cocoon room" like Lei Yitian and bravely move towards realistic socialization.
Shirley Turkel suggested that the way to cope with group loneliness is that friends and relatives should sit together more often and talk and discuss face to face. The same is true of young people who are "socially fearful". Avoiding socializing is only temporary. Only by taking the step from comfort to the unknown and getting in touch with the complexity and warmth of real social communication can we broaden the road of life.