It can be guessed that you are an inexperienced student. No one can bear the harm a child can do to his trust or close friends. During the whole process, you described all the harm he did to you, including sarcasm, slander, leaks, etc. Your kindness turned into him deceiving you. Use your tools to make you question friendships.
In your mind, good friends should be intimate, but in real life, there are boundaries between people. Even the most intimate couple must have privacy. Once you Losing privacy with the other party is equivalent to showing the weakest part between us to the other party. In other words, handing the hilt of the knife to the other party and hoping that the other party will be kind and not operate on oneself is too risky. .
The core essence of interacting with others is value exchange. Kindness is only a prerequisite for people to interact with each other, not a necessary condition. In the process of interacting with friends, no matter how kind you are, you must have a bottom line. The bottom line The function is to prevent your own interests from being harmed by friends or their surrounding environment. This bottom-line thinking can not only protect your interests, but also protect the interests of your friends. The sense of security between friends is mutual. Friends are in a relationship. It is not recommended to discuss privacy with each other. This mainly includes that you do not take the initiative to inquire about other people's privacy. If others ask about your privacy intentionally or unintentionally, you also need to politely refuse.
Speechless, the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water. It can be seen that maintaining a long-term friendship between two people requires both parties to abide by their own boundaries. A true friend does not mean that the closer the relationship, the better. Perhaps these things are important to a person. It’s not easy for students to understand, but it can help you avoid detours and pitfalls in future friendships. ?
You said later that you don’t want anything like this to happen. In fact, I think we should be more vigilant. In the future, when getting along with others, you can set up an observation period and gradually trust the other person. Don't let the first influence your trust and care. Stay polite and courteous, and wait and see again. The second is to look at the response, and use the other person's response to you and your own feelings to decide whether to treat her well or not to treat her well next time. This way you always have the initiative.
In short, the mentality is that as much as you are nice to me, I will be nice to you. If you treat me badly, I can get out of it. This will make you less passive. Don't doubt yourself when you meet a bad person. Believe that you are worthy of a good friendship. ?